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Noah Smith May 2020
I once pledged allegiance,
When our kings gave us heedence...

To the flag of the United States of America.
In what we had, our states united.

And to the republic, for which it stood,
In all that's benevolent and good.

"ONE NATION UNDER GOD"
The words on credit and dime.
ONE NATION NOW ON HIM TROD,
His people criminals, His book a crime.

The greatest economy crippled by fear.
Readers, I pray, please hear my call,
Rid the future of the blear.
Liberty and Justice for all!
©Dysphoria, 2020.
Yes, heedence isn't a word... but you know what it means.
Noah Smith Apr 2020
Like the deep, slow, hum of many voices, I hear it.
Softly crying in the darkness I have encased it in.
A sliver of my true soul, I cannot help but fear it,
It whispers to me a ballad sweet, on my forehead written…
“This was never the real you, your decay is not complete.”

For you, the one who cares, I have a confession.
I, a man of fear and sorrow, my heart drips black.
My sight bleeds gray, as I witness my reflection.
A gaunt sentinel of hopelessness, it stares back…
Smiling all the time.

Underneath the grim and slimy casing, my heart beats a song.
One slow note in rhythm, its message is clear.
To my knees I slide in the silence, no longer strong.
Exhaustion, chills ripple through the atmosphere…
As I fall through the floor, into another world.

My angel before me stands, his glowing saber drawn.
His radiant figure defending against the shadow,
Against the black animal that prowls beyond,
Its milky eyes fixated on where it wants to go…
Staring deep into my chest, at the cage it used to call home.

The shady hellcat lunges, as I sit staring.
My defender parries mightily, but in vain.
The lion turns to face me, ****** fangs barring.
As the sword fades next to the slain…
As my vision recedes to black.

Lucid again, I sit introspectively in the dim space.
My Father beside me sits, laying a hand on my knee.
“I showed you this for a reason, do not lose face.
You alone can choose, my child, and so hear my plea:
Your actions have consequences in this war for your soul.
Please weigh your actions carefully, salvation is the goal."
©Dysphoria, 2020
Noah Smith Jan 2020
Feel it slither
down the steps of your spine,
like a dark poison
gliding.

Fingers twitch
all that slowed, the click of time,
with each second
sliding.

Vision dims
Turn a blind eye burning,
forked tongue heaving
slander.

Asmodeus grins.
From the deep: crimson churning.
A familiar presence,
anger.


.ᴮ.ᵘ.ᵗ. .ᵃ.ᶰ.ᵍ.ᵉ.ʳ. .ⁱ.ˢ. .ʷ.ᵉ.ᵃ.ᵏ.

Day by day it sits,                                                     
fermenting in the dark.                                             
power and control it knits                                       
waiting for a spark.                                                  

                           Anger it was when it was a babe,
                                          Fury its unfortunate kin.
                              In the recess of the mind it laid,
                              never forgetting the original sin.

As cool and calculated as a fiend.
Its tendrils 'round your heart now bind.
Older now, it has been weaned,
from the driveling of your mind.

Icy whispers... guiding your fists.
A power older... than the age.
His bitterness... raw feelings... persists.
An old friend... frozen anger: Rage.

Your heart the field of war,
the blood of other emotions shed.
The mind Rage's *****,
.ᴺ.ᵒ.ʷ. .ᵃ.ˡ.ˡ. .ᴵ. .ˢ.ᵉ.ᵉ. .ⁱ.ˢ. .ᴿ.ᴱ.ᴰ.
©Dysphoria, 2020
Noah Smith Jan 2020
I found it one night,
Sitting alone, across the room.
I saw it... and I felt.
A skeleton among the living?
Surely no.
But there it was.
Shoulders slumped,
the ale it sipped dripping,
sliding down cracked, brittle, white.
Lidless, eyeless,
sightless seeing.
Staring beyond me.
Decay satisfied long ago,
and yet the stench still tugged
at the air.

That night I felt nothing
as I silently dragged it to my car,
and I took it home.

I felt nothing as we both
coughed down,
one. last. drink.

I felt nothing as it followed
me inside...
As it undressed me.

But the next morning I felt something...

A writhing,
a burning,
a stinging

My mind screams in pain and confusion,
as a piece of my skin simply floats away,
and knits itself to the skeleton.

The following month drifts by breathlessly,
yet I felt like a leaf blown by it.
Hazily I remember now.
Her.

The skeleton and I
sharing the precious moments
of my last month
as a human being.

Every week highlighted by the color of emotion:
A vibrant orange for Joy.
The brazen, ******, red of Anger boiling.

And every time these sensual droplets
began to froth up from my skin,
no sooner had I felt them before the feeling
vanished... never to be felt again.
And another piece of myself was ripped from me,
stolen by Her.

Last among them.
The frail blue of hope.
And the bruised purple of my sadness,
the last coarse tears ripped from my eyes,
and my last objection coughed from my lungs.  





That was a year ago.





Step by Step
she drags me along behind her.
And I-
I stumble helplessly.
mindlessly.
The ground feels strange on my feet.
Bone on cement.
The clattering of each step
rattles thru my hollow head.

I don't wanna think anymore.
I can't think anymore.
When I think, I end up... feeling.

Too many emotions.
Too many senses.
Too many...
Too many...






Bone can't feel anything.








I'm just a skeleton in her closet now.
I know we've all met a skeleton of our own.
© Dysphoria, 2020
Noah Smith Dec 2019
.................................................................­.............................................

/\
)  (
(  ^  )
)  ,) \
(   () , )
'|'
"""""""""
|           |
I am a  |
|flame  |
|           |
|           |
|           |
I am a   |
|light.   |
|            |
|            |
|            |
|   ­         |
|______|
............................­.................................................................­.................

.
)
((  
)\
( , )
'|'
(   """"
  )
)/ (/  ( \ |
()   ) () ||
|     ()   ||
|           ||
 I am a  ()
|candle,|
|Still     |
|shining|
|bright. |
|______|
......................................­.................................................................­.......
   
I was a fire
but I burned too hot,
.   (
)   .
((.   )
) ((
.(   ))
  ((  
  )     I   ,   
| _,,,,--  ,\
    | "();{}"|}()|
     [(;),    ,"{}//]/\
         (//{.:..}}.
     ]\)):'  
You are still breathing,
while I cannot.

........................................................­......................................................
© Dysphoria, 2019
Time is precious.
Noah Smith Dec 2019
Rain falling,
God's tears: Consequence.
Mind failing,
Atoning fears: Recompense.

Clouds part,
Dried eyes: Forgiveness.
Mended heart,
I rise: Confidence.
© Dysphoria, 2019
Noah Smith Nov 2019
All I want is a chance to prove to anyone, I’m worth it.
Still broken…

Dark nights; ghosts dance, mind screams: HYPOCRITE.
Still Broken…

My sins before me flayed, staring into the fire.
STILL BROKEN.

My angels demons betrayed, alone I face their ire.
STILL BROKEN.

Teary eyes raised, solution searching.
STILL BROKEN.

Corruptions blazed, damnation lurking.
still broke…




still human




But that’s ok.
© Dysphoria, 2019
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