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1.5k · Jan 2018
Worthless ramblings
I'm broken
Worthless to my owner
No care for me at all
They think I was born to fail
Send me away I'm a sinful
Lock me in hay with no bail
Inject me with lead you'd all love if I were dead.
Cut out my eyes listen to me wail.
Tear me to pieces cause I'm frail.
**** with my feelings it's okay it's a game
Soon I'll be hangin like other *****.
Slave to no man but a noose.
Before death I'll be screaming you'll love that tune.
I'm lit like a flame but burning in pain.
Put knives in my brain.
I'll be sharp in my head.
Deathwish is what I want.
While I'm bleeding to death.
My death will be praised.
They all I've never been sane.
I cry myself to sleep.
At my funeral don't weep.
You cut me wide open
So 'll get a late abortion.
You played with my emotions
More than with female sheath
You took away my oxygen
When you lied to me
I know you never liked me though
I always knew you were a fraud
You said you're queer when my heart speaks
So now all girls just disgust me.
I was never good at lust
I get confused with loving
This is about real experience I'm a hopeless romantic
483 · Dec 2019
A Suicidal masochist
What infinte pleasure I live in.
Finding joy and delight in my ever twist and turn.
The impurity of the world delights me.
Death and torture have begun to tease me.
Like ******* to a growing child.

What sweet ecstasy the macabre expounds to me.
It seems all I want in the world are tools to make my life harder.
It's to easy to come by happiness in this state.
I was made for this world.
Sent by god to enjoy the evilest of her spoils.

I am a gift to all that is disgusting on earth.
Like a tree I clean the air of agony.
This is done by stuffing my face with it.
Ooh how beautiful blood trully is.
But your to busy feeling joy to admire this.

I pitty the stupidity of the emotionally and mentally sane.
I wonder what lies they were told that make them feel whole.
Do they not see the fire beneath their feet.
Do they not feel the heat burn through their souls.
Or am I blessed with a sadness that helps me feel true emotions.

I am a parasite that spreads disease.
However I spread it only to those in need of me.
I engrave my skin with all my sins.
Then whisper sweet nothings to a dead tree.
Often I spread ink filled with my dreams all over screens.
Oh what a creep I seem to be.

You dream of love.
I dream of lust.
Yet I am called a foul.
In truth only one of these lies from the world we live in can come true.
But you carry on pining for the wrong one.

You still have dreams.
But somehow hate the idea of a neverending sleep.
What a fool you are to wish you can be better.
When you can always wish not to be.
How can you fear the wrath of a deity that won't even let you be.

Do you really live when you fear death.
Or do you breathe bubbles of oxygen in your watery web of lies.
Continuing to tell yourself untruths in order to feel alive.
It's sad how trully depressed you are don't you think.
You won't feel this truth for it's a mirror you refuse to see your ****** through.

I wonder how vulnerable you feel knowing I know to much about you.
You'll probably look me in the eyes and hold back tears.
Even if you do I know and enjoy the thought that I have violated you.
You are putty in my hands.
All because I know you beg for a better person to notice you.

But they won't.
Infact they never do.
You are nothing and everyday you try to forget.
But your inferiority is my truth so I own it.
You are are ugly beyond compare.
So ugly that you cry unprovoked for hours and hours wishing your life would end.
I'm a little sad so I want to share it with you
412 · Nov 2017
Letter U
Radiant in beauty of course it doesn't suite.
I'm always all alone my life is like a hole.
But her present's lifts me up.
Does she try or is it dumb luck.
She's the sun.
She makes a cold blooded creature like me warm.
She keeps me safe with just her words.
She's a forein flower a lily of the valley.
She's distructive if tempted so control yourself.
Be timid she is timid.
I lied she's not.
She's a puzzle that you'll never solve.
Bemused you'll think she's cold.
She actually has a heart of gold.
Like a lighter she ignites my heart.
No colour in her face cause she has no care for labels.
She constantly amazes me.
She's always in my hazy dreams.
Her minds as perfect as her skin.
Soft and delicate that's what you think.
But honestly it's black and sick.
For some reason I like this
346 · Nov 2017
Cut him
My mind is tucked up.
Let's cry and self harm.
Then **** our school.
Use your blade to peel their skin.
Then tie them down and watch them wince.
Cut them,cut them,cut them
Watch them bleed
**** the evil,bathe in their sin
******,****** I love the blood
I'm salty supposedly
I hate you you cause my sin
I'm salty but mentally you assault me
Take me away from this place fake lord.
Ooh don't worry I'll help myself.
I saw my wrist but I don't mind.
I like my pain it helps me think.
About my my ways and all my sins.
Shut up, shut up,
Voices in my head.
You think that I will be dead.
Drown out the voices in my brain.
I'll sink them in my ****** pain.
Till my veins run out of juice.
Drain me,hurt me
I'm already dead.
So **** me, **** me
Help me reach my end.
I go to an all boys school filled with patriarchy,homophobia and to most of them feminism is a swear woRd. This is my thought of there school and it's ways.
312 · Jun 2020
When the world stopped
And the world really did stop.
Haulted at its hinges by an indescribable force.
It steamed and chimed like a machine.
Attempting to break from it's shackles.
Attempting to breathe.
Trying to continue being.
It did not work.
The world was frozen in its feeble grace.

And the world really did stop.
Children turn to men when he went.
Often they viaied for his affection.
Beging for praise from him.
As would to their father.
We worshipped his every move.
Praise his inhuman brillance.
He was a picture of perfect.

And the world really did stop.
Life went on without moving forward.
I could only look behind me now.
Knowing the world won't ever be the same.
Others tried to fill his shoes.
Yet only managed to prove his perfection.
I was there once.
In the midst of my imperfections disgusting nature.

And the world really did stop.
I struggled.
Tosing and turning.
Trying to forget.
And remembering even more.
You face filled my head.
I wished I was dead.
Then kept it quiet.

And the world really did stop.
My mind find solace in another pain.
Trying my hardest to refute the truth.
I spent my days inside my own mind.
Trying to find reason.
In the silliest rhyme.
I'm losing sleep and time.
Contemplating a self destructive crime.

And the world really did stop.
Instead of tenderness for other.
I began to care only for myself.
I hid in the safety of my horrid head.
Escaping existance but not acknowledging it.
I begun to believe in fallacies.
Keeping them inside my heart.
Loving lies in order to avoid cries.

And the world really did stop.
Sweetly in the night it paused.
His boiling blood turned cold.
An arch angel was stolen.
Sweeped into an eternal night.
I live now in an infintie freight.
I do not deserve to cry.
He did not deserve to die.
Please read it.
267 · Jun 2019
Lady of Troy
I stare relentlessly
At her every ****** gesture
At her brown hair sapped in gold
At her beauty that disgusts me and allures me.

Her beauty is that that shines in the rain.
Darkness clouded by a silver lining
Shes several weeks of tears wsiting to happen.
She's wsiting to lie that she needs me
She's waiting to lie that she wants me

Her smile pierces my soul then turns to my heart.
Her skins like gold dipped in chocolate
I want to hoard her and covet her
But my love of her is evil.

She glides in a room like skates on ice.
But remember every glide is a clean cut hidden from your eyes.
And Thats what she is
A clean cut from a razor on an artery
A Christians hell
A Hindus Naraka
And, an Atheists clear infinite blackness.
Yet still I crave her.
This poem is about a beautiful girl i am crushing on. I used the idea of princess Helen of Troy. Whos beauty caused war
261 · Nov 2017
Lithium
Drugs have left me numb.
My doctor gave me some.
So high I can't believe.
I love it,
I need it,
My doctor says it helps easee me
Their easeeing izzie
Change me , break me
Love me,hate me
Warp my being.
I have fake friends and progamable teachers.
Ordered to do as they do.
Empty of everything especially opinion unless it has with it gods intent.
This is all done to prevent separation
(Once more there is still segregation)
This only incites rebellion in me.
I hate this place so how do I escape.
Do I run or stay and go away in another way.
South parks advice is to just quit twitter.
This world isn't worth it to scaredto **** myself.
So I cut ,cut and cut my wrist
To take away my strife and find bliss.
School is honestly the route of almost evil it's a hub for people who like to pick on people to let their issues out its no place for a child no one deserves the endless ridicule that a pain please help the little guy stuff the big guy and the worst part is my school tends to protect the bullies more than the bullied.
253 · Dec 2017
A creeps love
Pity and sadness
Lust causes me madness
Roses and chocolate are needles in my eye sockets.
And moonlit nights they
Fog my eyes cause
All my life's been
One bad ride
I wish for death
Any
Blissful end
But it won't come
Life won't end
So
My eyes will weep
And all will see
A creeps eyes bread nought.
Save tainted seas.
It a poem about the mixture of hormones and rejection all thrown in together. This is my greatest challenge constantly trying to find someone that loves me,cares about me and understands me. But it's hard when you aren't pretty,funny,smart,or relatable it kind of repels every all human beings from you but I try anyway and fail then I'm back to pen and paper cause theynever leave me why is life and love so hard
250 · Nov 2017
Starz
Night couldn't come fast enough for you.
I spoke using pearls but all you saw was me,
For what was outside .
You said **** my intent ,
You just want what's outside.
Little did you know that inside me
There is a heart that longs for yours.
Deeply I must confess you body it is the best.
Of all beings id ever layen eyes on.
Unlike your poems which remain unseen.
Your personality it beams.
More radiant then the star which feeds light to plants,
And it more meaningful to me.
But all I see in you you can't see.
For this my eyes pour out salty seas.
It because your mind is clouded by society.
Well your beautiful to thee,
DysFuckstional creep.
Like nirvana it's always about a girl
200 · Dec 2017
School
**** them **** them all
Reflect on their words show them your absurd.
They hurt you now it's your turn.
Turn the tables light them up and watch them burn.
Show them the scars of lovers past.
You creep you ****** up creep.
Speak.
But use knives and a gun.
Make them bleed like the art on your wrist.
That made them run and snitch on you.
Their all fools so end their life.
Use your knife forget pain and strife.
It's DysFucktionals time.
This is another poem about the trials of being different in a school that's has a social structure worse then that of the society we live in now . Feminism is a swear word in this school of mine and homophobia seems to be feared and I wish I could change their mindsets of erase their thoughts I don't know how to help the creatures living at my school this is the problem with testosterone
179 · Dec 2019
I dream of death
Mahogany separates me from the earth.
The world is quiet in this dull dark dark.
So I wait for the end to begin.
I wait for my life to finally end.

I linger in a mist hidden in an abyss.
Still sitting in wait for the deadliest bliss.
I'm happy now or atleast I think I am.
It's hard to know for sure something you haven't felt before.

So I go back and forth trying to figure myself out.
It doesn't work now I'm more confused then before.
Why does life begin only to come to an awful end.
This circle we live in is trully pointless.

Now all that brightens my day is the crimson liquid from my veins.
It flows then slowly makes me whole.
In death I trully fill my soul.
In pain I find my only pleasure.

Darkness.
That's all I see now.
It welcomes me and holds snuggly.
In it's embrace I feel the warmth of a friend.

A friend.
What did that ever mean.
They came, went and never stayed.
Surely if others had them then I was at fault.

A dark cloud rumages around my mind.
It whispers death into my head.
I try to breathe but don't have breath.
I dream of death.

There is something wrong with me.
I crave the night and hide from the light.
I am all that is wrong in the world.
So in compassion I take myself from this life.
Please read my ****** poems
143 · Dec 2019
I hate you
Flowing from my mind like an open ocean.
Words converge in my head all seduced by my sadness.
Love is the catalyst for my torture.
Though this is the truth, I still dare to fall in love.
I hate how foolish I am when it comes to you.

In the night time I used to cut my wrists.
I watched the blood leave as my adrenaline came in.
I felt alive in those moments.
I think it's cause I was dying a little.
I hate how that happens when I look at you.

You were so similar to me.
Yet I understand that we could never ever really be.
So I used to watch the sun die at night time.
In those moments I dream of you.
I hate how attached I am though I don't know you.

I have poison in my heart and you admire it.
I know it's not love but whatever it is I hunger for it.
You've changed the way I think about being.
I wanna live only in admiration of you.
I hate how you make all that is wrong with me feel right.

There's something sinnister about you.
It's as if deep down I know you'll disappear.
Like I know you are definitely to good to be true.
I want to speak to you forever and always.
I hate how much I know I love you.
This is a poem about how terrible love is.
Erase her.
Negative energy emanates from me.
I can feel death following me.
But even she doesn't want my embrace.
So though she stalks.
She stays far away.
For she knows in truth she must stay away.

Delete her.
Please take her from inside me.
Why does the world rotate around you.
Why are you the sun in my life.
It isn't right to live in the night.
In fear of the glory of your light.
I wish I were never gifted my life.

Eradicate her.
Every trace of her must leave.
I need to purge my mind of earths purest being.
There is no joy in her perfection.
My heart bleeds when our eyes meet.
It was fate for you to allude me.
So the alluring is where I put my hate.

Efface her.
Her face is burnt into my mind.
Constantly clawing at my thoughts.
I need to get it out.
It's haunting me.
Her beauty makes it hard to sleep.
Now it's even hard to breathe.

**** her.
She doesn't need to be.
And neither do I.
So let death take her sweetly.
Let it hold her tightly and lovingly.
While it hushes her to sleep.
This is now my only dream.
I need to love myself before I ever love another. But I often find myself trying instead to lose my self hatred in the non-existent love of another. I do this then slowly hate myself more then before. This poem chronicles the hatred I feel to myself and to my crush by showing how much I want to forget my crushes existence. This however only hurts me. In other words read my poetry as warning to live in your own life and try your best not live in false realities you create every time you meet an amazing person. That person doesn't owe you their love.

Peace and love to anyone who ever looks at you. I love you with every piece of my broken heart. I hope this helps understand that you are not alone in lonelyness but rather we are together in it. If you would like to talk about any ill emotions please reach out to me. I could use someone to talk to and you might to. Let us be trully together in lonelyness.
114 · Jun 2020
Clichè mind games
Soft sweet tender kiss.
She is heavens mist.
A loving lullaby.
Lays inside her eyes.
She tells tender truths.
And the whitest lies.
She knows heavens sin.
She has golden skin.

Raging red hot rain.
Falls before her face.
Teaching children pain.
The wretched sadness fights.
Showing no restraints.
Her emotions were brazen.
Worn proud like diamonds and gold.
Showcasing gloriously the gifts of old.

I was a fool for her aged allure.
Holding on to her like alcoholics did wine.
And she was also divine.
Showing perfection that plauged my sleep.
My addiction was deep.
In sleep and in waking she was on my mind.
I couldn't help but covert her.
Though she didn't even want me.

The sun shone through her jaspillite eyes.
Showing shimmering lighting with just a glance.
I was fixed to the fictional nature of her majesty.
Mystic madness made me want her more.
Her fleeting beauty was like a shutting door.
An ending that just started.
For her I'd become light.
For her I'd switch off night.

The midnight began to twinkle.
As the stars shed their final tears.
You were in their minds to.
Causing havoc and mayhem.
Anarchy was the truth of your beauty.
Complete insanity is what you lead to.
You are the sweetest lie.
A tear from a timid cry.

The morning rose again.
Beckoning new horrors to my side.
She was grotesque.
The sweetest morbid evil.
A honey eyed mistress of death.
She wore a dress of shadows.
She was shrouded in mystery.
And she taught me true misery.

She was a lesson that could not be learned.
A love and lust made to be yearned.
Sometimes the meaning means nothing in comparison to the viewers own vision. If you see something you like in my writting please hold it close to your heart. Please have a look though. I just want to make a living off of writting poems.

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