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Its 11:57 and I can see the stars.
The stars are always there, shining down from afar.
and I'm always here, going about my life, repeating the same conversations and feelings and thoughts. what am i to do.
I want next year to be diffrent.
I hope it will be diffrent.
I will savor these last few minuets of sameness.
I am looking forward to change though.
It's not morning yet, I still have a little time:

For my body to rest.
My movements are lucid,
My mind is a mess.
Sleep is elusive.

I begin to breakdown,
I am afloat on the sea.
I try not  to drown.
The darkness consumes me.
bad
capable but unmotivated,
love being different, hate being misunderstood,
impulsive long term planner.
strange mix of super private and open book.
rational yet unrealistic.
great at giving advice, bad at following it.
arrogant, but painfully aware of my flaws
sure of myself, yet unassuming
introverted extrovert,
rigorous yet care-free,
perpetual loner with tons of friends.
energetic but lazy,
sensitive, yet cold hearted
gregarious yet studious,
intelligent but spacey,
personal, yet detached.
unhealthy, yet understanding therapist,
competitive mediator.
The optimist who just wants to see the world burn.
Where do I fit in?
Curses of an ENTP
You are more than I will ever deserve

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes,
Or maybe it would scare you,
because every time I look at you,
No, every time I think of you,
My heart jumps, and my mind clouds,
Blood rushes to my face,
I can't breath and the world spins,
Like my brain has short circuited,
and I feel like my hair should stand on end,
and sparks should fly from my eyes.
Surely you have noticed the way I look at you,
How I can't draw my eyes away from you.
How suddenly the centre of my universe is you,
I am just a planet to your sun.

And when you look at me,
When you catch my eye, and smile,
I feel like I have been pumped full of helium,
I feel like I could blow away with the lightest breath of air,
Like I would shatter into a million pieces with just a touch.
Oh, and how I crave your touch!
Your hand on my arm, my head on your heart.
Your gravity is irresistible,
All I want is to be near you.

Is it wrong?
The way I feel?
What would you do if I told you?
I do not know, and I cannot take the risk,
For if I were to loose you,
I would become nothing.
Everything I am too afraid to tell you
i can't wait until i find somebody
somebody who makes me so **** happy
to the point where i'm so overwhelmed by their presence
to the point where i'm anxious to introduce them to my world

i can't wait until i find somebody
that makes me want to write all of my feelings down
and show the world how happy i am

i can't wait until i find somebody
and i just hope that somebody is you
 Aug 2016 Daydream Believer
axr
I don't know you
I never will
But a Facebook post told me you got drunk and hit your bike at the freeway
You suffered head injuries and died on the spot.
My Facebook timeline is filled with posts from your friends and family.
They miss you ,they love you and wonder how did you leave so soon.
You were twenty, attending uni and in love with a beautiful girl.
You loved driving your bike on the smooth roads when the rain poured.
You loved drinking till your mind was numb and speech slurred.
I never knew you
But i remember you playing football on our school grounds and talking to the pretty girls.
I remember you posting pictures of you and your girlfriend in the school uniform and everyone commenting on your 'love'
I remember talking to you once about our common last name. I remember you accidentally bumping me in the school hallways.
I remember you standing infront of the principal's office because you played a harmless prank on a teacher.
I remember you standing on stage with trophies and medals you won for our school.
I remember the funny posts you used to share on facebook.
You don't know me. You never will.
I was just another girl in your Facebook friend list. I was just another junior who didn't talk much.

Maybe if I strain my ears,I can hear your mother screaming over the death of her only son. Maybe I can hear your girlfriend crying over her love.
But I hear nothing because in silence,we yearn.
A schoolmate from a school i attended years ago died in a freak motorbike crash. Please don't drink and drive
She was a rainbow,
But he was color blind.
 Aug 2016 Daydream Believer
Phia
If only you knew how many times
I typed those three little words,
And then deleted them before hitting send
 Aug 2016 Daydream Believer
Phia
I won't tell you to not be sad
Because someone out there has it worse,
Because often times, there's nothing worse
Than being stuck in your own mind.
I've been doing a lot of self reflection lately...
 Aug 2016 Daydream Believer
Phia
I think that we are all made to be alone,
But when we find someone who makes
The loneliness seem less lonely
And the silence a little lighter,
We call it love
Not exactly true
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