Can someone please trade me eyes?

It's unknown how they still have sight 
Every since I was 6 the sense have witnessed gruesome events 
Now my eyelids flicker past them very seldom 
My lacrimal glands have trouble producing saline 
I find it nearly impossible for beatitude to gleam from my eyes
And I cannot search for something that my eyes feel sorrow for 

Let me at least borrow yours? 
Please 
So I can see how it feel to grieve 
So that tears of joy can travel down my cheeks 
I want humor to cause me to wink 
I want my reflexes to cause me to blink 

Pleeeeeeaaassseeee?
I stand there in the face of danger 
When I should be aware 
Instead I just stare 
...
No glare 
Just dispirited 
The statical behavior that my eyes inherited 
Suppress me from all charity 

I'm begging you 
No one looks me in my face and feels warmth and comfortability 
All that they see is two white igneous rocks
When I wish that they can see marshmallows 

That's why I need your help 
The optometrist said there's nothing that he can do 

That's why I'm coming to you 
I just wanna be inspired by life 
Can you show me how the world look again just for one day?

If you are single do not stress it, mainly it's because you understand the complexity of the relationship recipe you're a child of destiny and a victim of intuition, morally gifted, respectfully lifted, GPS couldn't follow your mission, eagerly itching; but if they don't cut the standards you know how to dismiss 'em, If they're not sharp enough they have no place in your kitchen; not smart enough they don't deserve a compound sentence PERIOD

The clock is ticking 
... 
And it's time 
...It's time 
It's time that we get our act together 
And disengage ourselves from the miseducation and disorientation 
That we have been suffering from for quite some time now.

I'm tired
... I'm tired 
I'm tired of witnessing the sentences of the corrupted minds chained up to face the consequences of their crimes 
By trading in their freedom 
Trading in their wisdom 
For wasted time 

I'm sighing 
...I'm sighing 
I'm sighing because me and my people are blinded by the quote on quote finest 
Presuming to purchase from producers 
Why are we only consumers?
Just followers of every mindless introducer who is on the screen rhyming steadily binding our youth's futures 

I'm crying 
...I'm crying
I'm crying for the losses of our precious souls, our beautiful smiles that are buried beneath the ground 
By a repetitive loud sound 
Coming out of another hand that is brown 

I find it 
... I find it 
I find it aggravating that the colored brother and sister are becoming further and further lacerated 
Just because me and my brothers underwent emasculation doesn't mean that we should stall on our sisters complete emancipation 
LOVE HER and free her from all agitation 
These are our mothers and the foundations of our nation 

I'm reminded 
... I'm reminded
I'm reminded of our history, our lengthy history which to most of us is a mystery
Way before Arabs, Europeans, Hispanics, and American Natives got creative and began to enslave us.
Before our spirits became diminished by religion 
We valued family, tradition, education, productivity, ownership, land, earth and everything that take part in a birth
Most importantly we valued LOVE

So I'm dying 
... I'm dying 
I'm dying because we are so reliant and dependent on someone who is much more different and much less interested 
Our declension is their intentions 
But when we see the illusion on the television 
We see a little succession 
Why is it that we can easily make the team or get in the studio to sing 
But to become a businessmen is not quite our thing? 

I'm dying 
Because we all just living a dream 
A dream that was once our reality 

I'm dying 
Because we are all asleep 

I'm dying 
Because we are afraid to wake up

When you touch me... I feel so lucky
When we touch it is almost too much
Too much love
Too much lust
It feels as if my veins are without blood

When we hug I imagine doves
In mid air
In mid *****

When we kiss all of the lights flicker
The pipes spit
The water drips

When we hold hands, I don't have plans
My entire To-Do list I seem to forget

When we take walks on the beach...
The earth don't even breathe
The water don't even wave
The sand don't even sink

When we make love
The headboard is like a tombstone
The mattress is like a cactus
And the only spring that's sprung is me

When we smile...
Every other personality that's near is expressionless
Is hopeless
Effortless
Motionless
Impotence

When you are around your friends...
Their skin is pale
Their voices can't yell
Their perfumes are stale

...
Let me take a jab at it
You ring my bell
All I can do is laugh at it
It is as if me and you are the only living things

You are my girl
And I think when we are together,
We stop the world

We stop the world
And as you walk in this door
The ink of my pen don't even want to pour
...

My Sun will shine light on the new wave, new era, connective to the past ways on how to be brave. Humble yet ferocious. Intelligent but vibrant. A leader once his prints are large enough to fill in my size.

Naive to my neck
A Knee deep *******
Full of ****

She was my grit
I let her slip through my grip
Her love was off the charts
How can I erase her from my grid?

Pin point affection
Shot directly through my heart

She was suppose to be the apple of my eye
But I slept on her
Literally she was my foundation
Because I stepped on her
She always tried to give me a hand
But I kept from her

Soon as she tried to leave
... There's welts on her...

I got my nerves, for my heart to be on my sleeves

To try to dictate her life
After she gave all she had

Selfishness surging through my pores

I didn't comfort her
But had a problem when she walked towards the door

Say no more
Yeah I'm lyrical
But I wonder if I'm ever gonna be ...

... be boyfriend material

I vividly recollect me embracing you while we were in the shower.
The most passionate time of my life I recall.
I didn't know what possessed me to possess you in that fashion, so the only explanation I have is that you had a hold on me first; a more strong and foreseeing clutch.
My physical reaction cannot compare to the divinity of your works.

I witness how amused you were when I acted out foolishly, reminding me that I needed some kinda help.
Well the help I needed is no longer apart of my life, thanks to the complexity of my malfunctioning cerebrum. Sorry I didn't allow you to be my remedy.

I also remember dimples that are potent, just one more addition to a walking monument. He must have been thinking about someone much more appreciative than I when he walked you out of the gates and told you that you'll still be an angel of his, just accompanying a more physical spirit.

I bethink of how easy it was for me to confide in you, as if we known one another all our lives. Such strange but comforting arrangement. I was sure of continuous sustenance.

I reminisce on you specifying me as your "cupcake", since the icing is gone I don't want no other man to fill in what I already baked. You only got one cupcake! (I swear if you call anybody else that I'm whoopin yall *****, both of yall)

But I will never get the chance to commemorate me telling you the one thing that I was always so close to disclosing... That I loved you

The black woman
She's an antagonist at birth 
The oppressor is aware of her capabilities 
Yet, they value her worth 
Black men are in a phase of tranquility 
Yet to know that they are obligated to the original her...
The lady who was civilized first 

The black woman 
They failed to keep her safe 
She escaped the rapes
They tried to sterilize and vaccinate 
They couldn't sedate this woman with hate 

The black woman 
Mind sharp as a dart 
Back built like a cart 
Carry her youth through truth 
By words spoken from her heart 

The black woman 
She's everyone's favorite 
However she have been degraded 
So often times her smile growls 
Her laugh howls 
Funny how her cry is hysterical 
And her enjoyment is terrible 
Because she have been let down by her spouse 

The black woman 
The dark men owe her their respect 
She can use their caress 
They have to vow to never again neglect 

The black woman 
The creator 
Her creations are more than just labor 
It's a ****** of love 
A future king or queen being flung from in between 

The black woman 
The black woman
The black woman 

Check her demeanor 
Despite her distractions she is still determined 
Fighting through a handful of disasters that attempted to destroy her 
She came a long distance to be dismissed 
She is still devoted to her destiny 
But it is so difficult when her men volunteer to diminish 

The black woman 
The black woman is not a ***** so why do he dog her? 
Her body represents the best figure so why do he abuse it? 

The black woman 
It's amazing she keeps on giving them chances 
She turns to the other cheek and he slaps her again 
Only time he pay attention to her is in a discussion amongst friends 

The black woman 
How is it that she know the importance of a black man, but in favor he cannot comprehend? 
If it's not ****** relations he don't wanna relate 
And if he impregnate 
He miss every anniversary of the child's original date 

The black woman 
But... (Shaking my head)
The black man

-Mariah: "what makes you different"?
•Johnathan: "I don't want you, I need you"
-Mariah: "what do you need from me"?
•Johnathan: "I need your heart and I need to give you mines"
-Mariah: "What are you gonna do with my heart"?
•Johnathan: "I'm going to cradle it right aside my own, I'm going to compress them together so I won't miss a beat of your life"
-Mariah: "well you already missed every beat up until now. My heart has taken a beaten and I don't think you can heal it"
•Johnathan: "I can't heal it by myself you have to help me"
-Mariah: "If you're good enough of a man then you can do it alone"
•Johnathan: (interrupting) "wrong"
-Mariah: "I need a man to be able to carry the load. I'm right I don't think that you can do it, and if you can't do it by yourself you can't do it"
•Johnathan: "So you're telling me that you want a man who put up all the effort to comfort and please you but in return his heart remain empty; what are you gonna do to keep love loving you?"
-Mariah: "I usually make a guy prove to me that he really love me before I can show him my love, I'm worth it. Right?"
•Johnathan: "it's not all about worthiness. Worthiness doesn't always consist of how much value another person place upon you. Especially if a person don't get the results from what they invested all their time and mind in. If the person isn't satisfied themselves, they're only tired, then where's the "worth" in that deal? That's only gambling"
-Mariah: "So you're telling me that I'm not worth it"?
•Johnathan: "Mariah listen do you think I would be here trying to fix something that's broke if it doesn't mean anything?"
-Mariah: "I don't know would you? And how am I suppose to know that you're not just trying to break me more?"
•Johnathan: "because if I was trying to break your more I would tell you that you're only useful for pleasure. Besides if you remember, I said that I wanna give you my heart as well; therefore, I'm putting my feelings on the line too. I can get hurt as well as you could. You do know men can hurt huh?"
-Mariah: "Every man that I came across seem not to care, so from my experience I don't know if men hurt. Men only seem to think and feel with their penises. Look I heard it all and I'm tired of men I don't wanna hear anymore lies"
•Johnathan: "Well have you ever thought that it was just the men that you are attracted to? And have you ever thought that you are attracted to boys and not men? And have you ever considered the fact that boys only do exactly what it is that they think they can do? So mistreating you, lying, and relying solely on ****** relations they thought was well within their rights; moreover, the rights that you granted them".
-Mariah: (She storms off angrily without saying anything)

The truth is blistering to lies told and  lies lived.
Hearing the truth kills all disputes
But if she's scared of the truth then she'll find herself comforted by lies
Men try to be supplementary to souls
And boys deter lives
They chase thrilling moments
And if she run off of fun as well, then let the games begin
But the heart is so dramatic that excitement always ends
Serious men...
Come along and by then pain is plain
She's used to it like a pilot in a plane soaring over terrain
And love is a joystick
She only had a demo
Mistakenly she judges the entire franchise from the games that the rookies played
Discrediting hall of fame names and the ones who has not yet been  inducted
She handed her heart to freshmen and they muffed it
They were too inexperienced to coach her that when she  hear the truth to trust it

Mariah is used to liars
Johnathan is a honest man

The relay we tend to play, a selfish race of people who passes the baton but never get it handed back to us.

I call it 'the relay' because we take someone else's efforts and hand that energy over to another person. Someone who happens to be more ideal for your predetermined mind. However that same energy passes through that same host only to temporarily live inside someone who they're too interested in more than they are you. it's a relay that replay until one person delay the cycle with handing over a baton that only fits that other person's grip.

If Tuesdays are bad news days 
Fridays are always sideways 
Struggling 
Hustling 
Fumbling 
Tumbling 
Trembling stuttering 
Impolite utterances 
Brotherless 
Misguided mothering 
Distant cousins 
Conditioned lovers 
Struck by thunder 
No structure to govern...

Monday is gonna come...

No matter what goes on in your life Monday is going to come 
Give me one time that Monday have not approached? 
Hold your head 
You'll be alright 
If not 
Monday is still on it's way 
If you stay stuck in muck 
The world isn't 
It will move onto a new week

Where do thugs go?
Who do they run to? 
Where do they call home? 
Not a house that they go to, but a place where they feel belonged 
How do they cope with the scarcity of love? 

Thugs, not the kind that most women think they are attracted to; therefore, not the imposers
Not the kind who landed at the bottom of the hill, sliding from the top only to scrape off their rot 
Not the ones who were born with all the right people in their corners, but boxed them off while trying to fight to be someone that they are not 

Thugs, the ones who momma loves? Because he appreciates her worthiness, her works 
She's the only real love he ever had since birth 
Thugs; who can't really go places because trouble doubles 
It multiplies whenever he is with his guys 
Because they all know how it feel not to live under a roof 
Neither one of them have anything to lose 
His dudes are equal to himself cubed 
They rely on one another like proofs 
And they are radical from the roots 
Living in a negative atmosphere trying to multiply it by itself 
So that they can make it to where the grass is greener and the sun does shine 
The other side of the number line 
Where the gunfire and homicides are divided
And the dope is reduced 
All their lives they have been thinking that they are enduring the truth 
That they "cannot amount to nothing and cannot be put to use"

They are neck deep in the streets 
And the authorities is at their throats like a crew 
But nothing around them is cotton 
So when their fingers symbolizes a "V" they are only representing the place where they have to be 
And they are not weak, but sometimes they wishes that they can take off a week 

Black cats can't chase yarn
Mexicans don't have a specific day for casual dressing 
Asians don't get any waivers 
Cubans can't take less hours for a semester of schooling 
Haitians don't get vacations 

The **** life is given 
Difficult to make it
As it is to escape it 
It's hard to deal 
When all they know is reeling in deals 
To people who are saltier than Dill's 
While at the same time trying to act real... Kosher
Without a companion to share meals... How do they find closure?
Too busy being tyrannical 
Never learned how to be grammatical 
So **** just got "worser"
Interviewee for a job 
Or being suave to a child's mom
Besides their eyes,
Their oration is just exposure 
Not knowing their duration to exist on this surface 
Thugs need love 
It's hard to tell through his mean-mug 
But he's hurting

I'm invisible 
Placed myself in front of her path
Mentally recited a joke to make her laugh
... But
Our eyes never clashed 
She walked right past 

I'm invisible 
In not invincible 

So it hurts me every time she's blind to my benignity 
But as soon as I'm malignant 
I suddenly appear in her vision

It's a fiasco that Lupe had to ask fo'
That old school lovin'

From his new school sistah
And his brand new brotha

We have cousins who only want to shine like mcnuggets
Golden and frozen
Only to consume materials and chemicals
Unidentical to anyone who is Familial
Being a individual is habitual

My Old Head once said
That love is the ultimate residual

He also said that if you want to go fast, then go ahead and 'haul ***'

But if you want to go far, then let's all grab a hand and we can make it to Mars

We had wise elders
Working men and women
Destined young children

A household of resilience

Today I don't see the resemblance

Now days our commonality is technology brilliance
Common sense hindrance
Essentially ignorant
Aesthetically belligerent
Peer success is resented
Pure disrespect is persistent
Disconnected by the church
Dispirited by the religion

Freedom must I mention
...
Is unattainable by oneself
You have to love and be love
Help and be helped

Lupe feel what I felt
Why must we be negligent to Old School Lovin?

I miss the old school woman
Or am I just a expired man?
With a discontinued heart,
And past due plans...

I miss the old school family
Or am I just a terminated son?
With a ceased smile
And a elapsed interpretation of fun

I thought the past impacted the future
But I will take a pass on my future
As long as you are away

As long as I'm here
As long as you love me
Gimme that old school love right now

Isn't it wonderful how you thought that I was the best as it gets and all of a sudden another man came to override that thought?
Like I always told you 
"There's someone out there who's better for you than I am, you just watch"
That truth probably wasn't meant to be understood at the time that I made it vocal
All because if you would have believed me; it wouldn't be so impactful now 
There was a reason I always told you not to settle
...
I mean I'm oooooookkkkkk fooorrrr yooouuuu.. Yeah I'm ok 
... But nowhere near as good as the man who I knew would appreciate you more 
Appreciative 
Careful 
Understanding 
Selfless 
Honoring 
H­e's honorable so don't allow your mind to wander and stumble upon me anymore 
He will bring you difficulties from time to time 
Perfect for you 
I didn't say he perfected life 
Who has? 
When the both of you are going through adverse times 
Stay as devoted as he will be 
Don't let them times be the times when your name suddenly appear in my call log 
I'm not worth it 
Our love turned into horror and left you open 
I always told you that he'll bring forth closure 
I was horoscoping 
Our heart to heart connections would always arrest like cardiac 
That's why I kept you in harmony with your zodiac 
I knew that you would later share a calendar with someone who's much more reliable than I am
I also knew that you would stare at the stars with someone who bring a better atmosphere into your company 
I saw all the signs and symbols 
Good things are only cyclic 
Bad things are provisional 
I saw him for you
I was necessary for you to experience 
If you wouldn't have dealt with me then you'll still be settling and making deals with apportioning men 
So don't regret me 
Love me for being able to love him 
And you should aware him of his zodiac 
Maybe you'll be his astrologer in order for him to be with the woman who he was born to be in position with

"Don't take your love away"
Cuz "I wanna be close"
So if we "separated"
"My first love"
Will rot
A----

"Charlene"!
"Since I seent you"
You've been my "diamond in the rough"
So my boys know
That I'll be a "broken man"
If "her heart"
"Float" away from me
"The point of it all"
Is "im a mess"
So "please stay"
So I can see "better days"
Quit tampering
A------ H-------

"When a woman loves"
She's "happy people"
"When a woman's fed up"
"I wish" that I can make her happy
I'm sorry, it's just "if I could turn back the hands of time" I would
You say that you love me
But "it seems like you ready"
To "step in the name of love"
In another mans "chocolate factory"
Hope I'm not being petty
R. -----

"A house is not a home"
But "if this world were mine"
"If only for one night"
I'll give you "endless love"
"Here and now"
"Always and forever"
You'll be my "superstar (don't you remember)"
When I told you that It's  "never too much" of your love that I can have?
Without you I'm lost
-----r V-------

Why are you "playing possum"?
Tell me a lil "sumthin' sumthin'"
Spread your "pretty wings"
And soar to "whenever wherever whatever" you want to go
My "bad habits"
Makes "this woman's work"
And when I see her cry
I can't help but to have a "fist full of tears"
In my "lifetime" I never been so
"Fortunate" until now
My "ascension" never been so high until now (don't ever wonder) us falling
Because it will "stop the world"
"Know these things: shouldn't you"
If so don't ever bail
--x----

It's not just your "chocolate legs"
That I crave
"I wanna be loved"
And "sometimes I cry" when I can't
"Spend my life with you"
Don't leave me for lonely "Harriett jones"
We have "real love"
Don't go stray
E--- --n--

"Me and those dreamin' eyes of mine" wishes that you were my "lady"
I wish that we were "cruising"
I Wish that I could take you "higher"
But since you're "untitled (how does it feel" to be my "brown sugar"?
Do you "feel like making love"? Huh?
Like Animals
-'A-----

"U got it bad"
"You make me wanna"
"Let it burn"
But I got a few "confessions" to make
When I "love you gently"
And go "nice and slow"
"You remind me" that I should toss them "papers" away
Tonight I want it "my way"
"Can you handle it"?
I love her and lust her
U----

"I'm tired of being alone"
But "how can you mend a broken heart"?
How can I reach "love and happiness"
And stay harmonious when we're tied by "unchained melodies"?
Can we ever just be "simply beautiful"?
Not just a cute couple?
Do you believe?
-- --een

Your art
Your mind
Your eyes
Your heart
Is described by our artist
Your art is painted in their lyrics
Sing songs as long as you belong
I long for your love
So my ears are plugged with earphones
As I sing along

Today we are living in a world where almost everyone is only worth two weeks 

First you meet, treat, everything appears to be sweet until you get a taste of, a waste of, a trace of, you chase uh... hints of acidic distance 

Trying to find closure before loss of composure 
Wanting things to stay in motion, but your feelings have no choice but to suffer from erosion 
Because that person just blew right in and out of your life 
Undermining your plans of succession 
Migrating seasonally 
Without reasoning 
Dispersing their impacts all over the map 
Then you know... the ultimate treason 
Displeasing their allegiance 

Fourteen days 
Plenty of ways to become swayed 
Misled
And betrayed 
People rushing in and out of your life like a cascade 

I guess it is because no one knows how to preserve amities 
We're all just used to casualties
We're all just skeptical as fallacies 
We're all questionable upon answering 
Just like to text each other 
Don't know how to address each other 
Never trying to bless each other 
I guess we're all just used to allergies 

During these individualistic times
Cold hearts 
And simple minds 
How are we supposed to interact?
Now days the keystone being don't even attract 

We're too weak

I hope that while I'm getting myself together,
She doesn't lose hope

Your beauteous archetype will never let you suffer the pain that most of us regular people face. Despite your rudeness, we will always make excuses to partake In your cuteness. You don't know how it feel to be forgotten about. Your heart never fell, in result of seeing someone who bailed holding hands with a more sightliness female. You have everyone's attention. How does pretty feel when pain is inflicted? Does pretty really hurt all along, or is that just a song? I'm venting through this poem because I can only imagine you being in my arms. The reality of you laying in my chest happily is slim to none. My confidence in myself is strong, but that only go as far as grabbing you by the arm, signaling you to come on. Utterances of "he's not where you belong". My aplomb is only dawn in comparison to his bodacious mannerism. You can't see anything wrong. But I can see it within you. Whenever I spy deeply, past your aesthetic definitive. As I forage through your lushness I stumble upon the truth. The naked truth. Fastuousness at it's best. Desolateness at it's worst. Blessed but hurt. A nest without a bird, a freeway without a curve, an intoxication without a slur, a feline with no reason to purr,  a sea otter without it's fur; basically a sentence without a word. Bleak; you worship the worthless, bargain yourself to be purchased so in result you are the first resort to a man with no purpose. How does it feel to be a self-merchant? Wholesale and your clientele being boys who are uncertain. If you were interested in men he will treat you like one with the womb in the front (womb-men), no matter how feral you were you'll b like his little ******. See you are the resultant of a posture that is too potent. When you're in motion, no guy can continue with focus. You were always told how bold that you looked without any clothes, but never reminded that your mind was the only thing you have left when everything else unfold. Hopeless; desirable but the story on how to be hereafter admirable was untold. "No matter how fine the statue is, overtime it will have to erode, it's the significance in the chronicle that we will always extoll"

If this colonialized hell would burn that will be cool
I mean it will be hot , but.... You know what I mean

You are killing your own people 
You are killing off our sequels 
...
You're dying 
If I told you that you'll be ok 
I will be lying 
... 
On the ground with you 
We're united by a state of hysteria 
So pledge of allegiance to your own grievance if you want to 
Our allies realize our lack of participation within the United Nation 
They know that's it's a race of the racist 
It's hunger and starvation for ******* 
So they don't support our sport 
They don't get a kick out of our matrix 
Master the skill of being manipulative 
And maltreat our own citizens 
Who will have our back when we're getting attacked?
For sure not the group of people who our history once beset 
Wait reset 
Why strain something that isn't our stress? 
Hold up quest!
Consistent warfare give us a rest!

Do we ever handle things professionally? 
There's pros and there's congress 
And according to our constitution 
It's precedent that every president 
Is only present 
Im a skeptic of their effectiveness 
They're just a face for this place 
A image so when things cringes 
We can look at him in disgrace 
Sometimes I think I've been misplaced 
..... 
Misplaced 
Taken away and placed 
In this place full of waste 
Place full of wasted minds 
Place full of wasted minds who waste their time 
Place full of wasted minds who waste their time trying to waste everyone else's mind and keep others below their waist line 

United States of Hysteria 
Where you have to equip yourself with a personal barrier 
The superior preys 
The inferior pays 
And the wealth relays 
The baton get passed to relatives 
This is where you can cross the finish line first and still be without work 

So we pledge of allegiance 
With our right on our heart 
Stripes and stars is for
Lashes and strikes to stun our awareness 
Our apprehension just blow effortlessly in the wind 

They cover their flaws 
The gover-meant to **** us all 
Is there a such thing as a war on war? 
We nuclear our own fears 
And air strike on our own tears 
Use Sub Atomic Bombs against our own peers 
Chemically engineer everyone who's mere 
All hail U.S.A 
All hell U.S.H

I knew the prettiest lady 
She had more flavor than gravy 
Her hair came all the way down there 
And when she grab me she leaves streaks that's ashy 
Manicure on her nails 
Her eyes are rarely surprised and water never pour from her wells
Well, well
Oh Where oh where oh where could she be 
As I'm searching I started to say oh well
But oh I can see 
I can tell the reason why I couldn't see 
Her is no longer she 
She allowed the salt of the sea to waiver 
So now when I wave to her 
She performs as a stranger 
I'm thinking how to tame her 
Put a lapse to the substance that claims her 
When we were in school she used to be my major 
I studied everything which made her lovely 
Now everything is fuzzy 
With minor putty 
Indicating that 
I never accepted her insulation 
In fact 
We never drawn a line 
So when we separated 
Her course; I traced it 
Of course not blatant
Though curious and tenacious 
I was waiting and waiting 
For this??? 
I remember her ample lips 
And her apple-shaped hips 
Take a lick of her stomach and tasted a hint of apple crisp 
Her thighs reminded me of pie 
And when her juices trickled down it sparkled like cider 
Waited for this? 
WHAT IS THIS? 
Now I wish I can erase her face out of my cerebrum 
Never mind all that I had to say about her
Forget about it 
This is the part when I walk past her like I don't see her 
...

Do you ever glance at your watch?
Like never?

... Yeah it shows
Explains your bad timing
Your selfish ways
Your nonchalance
Your all nighting
Your need to play
Your childish taunts

Explains why you are here and there
In and out
Everywhere
Except at the house

Explains why you can't explain
"I am busy" are the only words that you can say

When dinner is preparing
The chicken is turning
Pasta is churning
Bread is burning

It's you who I'm learning
I fix my plate 30 minutes early
Knowing that you gonna be late
8 turns into 8
Night turns into morning

And you out by noon because of something suddenly alarming

But whenever my call pop up you steadily ignoring

In a relationship where one person live by eastern timing and the other is 3 hours behind

How do they ever spend time?

When one person speaks English and the other speaks German

How do they ever rhyme?

When one person is alone and the other is accompanied

How do they ever bind?

And if I'm never on your mind
Why don't I nevermind?

And stop letting time roll by

Every minute
Your'e never in it

Every second
I always come second

And every time the long hand reaches 12
I'm always by myself

I might buy you a digital watch to see if that helps

The doctor ... says...  I have a serious issue...
He say it's life threatening you guys
...
I don't know what I'm gonna do...

All this research
This inaccurate treatment
Being high to distract my lows
Not really knowing what to suppose
He gave me a date...
He claims it's an estimate, but if I keep feeling like this; this could be it.

He sends me home each visit, telling me that this is rare, but common
It happens, but don't normally conclude in such trauma
His coat, or stethoscope doesn't always mean that he has the antidote
...
As for the symptoms:

•The dry skin,
She used to help apply the Shea Butter
•My hair all over my head,
It was funny when she brushed my hair, she didn't know what she was doing
•Long nails,
She HATED that
•Morning breath the entire day
I would chase her all over the house trying to give her a kiss
•chill bumps •shivers •teeth chattering
We used to cuddle to stay warm, so we didn't use the furnace
•starvation •no appetite
She cooked 5-7 times throughout the week
•restless
I could not fall asleep until she got in from work
•angry •outburst • complaining
She always said "ahhh shut up and get over it punk"
•Listening to the talk radio station LIPZ 102.5 to be exact
I gave her my undivided attention
•heartache
I loved her

That's why it's difficult for Dr. Carmichael to prescribe me medicine
How am I suppose to treat this?
There's no special enough specialist
No surgeon so precise
Not even the smartest scientist,
divinest pastor, or
The most thoughtful psychiatrist that can save my life...

I'm doomed
All I do is sit on the couch in the house that will soon be a tomb
...
My hope is fading
My pulse has feinted
My arms are folded
My back is *****
Back and forth
My rock is steady
... My soul is light
And my eyes is heavy
I'm taking the departure hard
...
Love can be deadly

That 1 lengthy and detailed conversation we had as I fixed her a hot bubble bath, it was very necessary to figure out the pattern in which each of our souls orbited around one another's life. Life. It seems that in the seams of this biographical regime, we get lost in between 2 wings, steering without a true tale, leading with our beaks instead of our two feet. Finding elation through impatience. Determination to fly without defining our own matrix. At that particular time I just wanted to slowly sit your soft body down into that pool of lavender scented steamed water, but everything you had to say nearly drowned me. The invisible crown I continuously placed on your head suddenly vanished as my imagination panicked. I always thought that my mind was backed up by my heart which was backed up by your art. Oh how gentle you scribble. I have to erase line by line, direction by direction, affection by affection, disconnect on top off disconnection. Difficulties I'm having while looking at you lather but no longer seeing you in the picture. Watching you lave as you give me your take on how our relationship was shaped was a bit unfitting. In my mind "it's inevitable that she's open for bidding". I'm lounged against the sink in a bind. Bonded by your fondness, then detached by your honest responses. How blunt you are and how drunk I'm soon to be. Wasted vibrations, my mouth began to tremble. Somehow I find an idea to cause the both of us to tickle. Temporary bliss. Moreover all of my hard efforts that night turned out to be the worst shift. I went from pleased to please. Expectedly you never tried to appease by appealing to my needs. Draining water like my decaying heart. Drying off reminds me of my suffocated feelings. Lotion as I drink this 40% potion. Hoping of hydrated coping. Can you leave? So I can shower, attempting to rinse away the most beautifully devastating hour.

I miss a girl that I never had
I miss a girl that I never got a chance to know
I mean
I knew of her
I met her
Hell I almost sexed her!
(To fill in the blanks on the reasons why I wish I could have kept her)
Well listen and get a hold of our road
...(sigh)
Every odd consecutive day we walked each others path
Me never recycling the way in which I said hello and so she laughed with the sequence
It was like we had already fixed ourselves a bond before we formally met
Me sensing that I know her without knowing how to spell her name
Then a dry spell came
...
Weeks and months without the ability to wink or say wassup
I seen a lot of smiles but I wanted to see her teeth and her cheeks go up
But... But... But...
I've been searching for her much, weaving through grime and muck; hoping to run into her like a buck
(I bet a buck that her sense(cents) can change me)
Break me down, loosen me up and make me feel belonged
So like AB I'll turn my back for bronze if I'm currently living wrong
Silver or gold; the bottom line is that we all have two sides
I just embrace my other half
I coincide with love; so coincidentally here she comes
...
Next thing  you know I was programming her num
Then texting with thumbs
Lastly expressing with a sensible heart and a mind that's numb
But in mutual her lips was dumb and her tongue was tranquil
Odd how at this point in time she was the joint between my foot and leg
The neck that supports my head

But she didn't know it...

So I tried taking different angles
Stopped being so emotionally degreed
Then I was making my point through latitude
Seeing how high can we go
How much can I show
Other than the things I only can say
...(sigh)
So I held her hand
Gazed in her face
When asked I invaded her space
I gripped her waist
And drenched her laced
Whatever trickled down did not go to waste
My tongue soothed every nerve
And swerved every curve
...
I also made sure that she was straight
Went on a few dates
Wandered around a few lakes
I played it safe
Didn't want to keep her out too late
...(sighing and jaw tightening)
And suddenly I happened to be too late
And she never even told me
She just implied it

Loving me isn't that hard and I don't think she even tried it
I also don't think she disguised it
(Light bulb)
As I'm reminded
She didn't even hide it
She basically told me that I was a temporary alignment to her future assignment
I didn't recognize the vibes
I didn't know that she wasn't mine
Because I was too occupied by making wishes inside of her eyes
(Think, think, think)
(Sink, sink, sink)
(Blink, blink, blink)

Have you ever wondered?
... Out of all them people,
Who is the ONE that you wish you were still with today?
Then, until now...
Still hanging around
Maintaining
Yea yea yea, "everything happens for a reason, what goes around comes around, or he works in mysterious ways"
I AIN'T TRYNA HEAR ALL THAT ****
...
SHE'S GONE
She left, doing the only thing that was right
She was down, but had to get up and go
Even though we moved on; I want her back
If this world was mine, she'll be the bodies of water and the lush that fill my map
And instead of trying to dig up dirt
I'll float her boat
Right alone the coasts, the rivers
Offer coats, when she shivers
...
I wonder where is she now?
Now since I have my act together
How can I assure her that deviation is not directing my intentions this time?
That I'm not just trying to make a scene?
I'm not about to settle for another cameo role!
Nor am I trying to win a Oscar
I have more than general hospitality
I want her to have all my children
So we can cherish the days of our lives
Lasting longer than a soap opera
... Before I just wanted to be a show stopper
Not really making change
When she was hurt, I just wanted to assist her
Not be the nurse
But at first I didn't realize; I didn't register for that
I posed to be more than what I seemed
Not being actuality to what she dreamed
She didn't get ideas from out the blue
I really said them things
But it's not until now that I really mean them
Now and thens are different
Every now and then I wish she knew that
Only if I was like this from the gates
...
But since I wasn't its too late