It's been months now
i can somewhat
manage a smile when i hear your name
happy feelings are coming back
no more slow music

they play out in my dreams
all the memories of us
overplayed
every night
i want them erased
wiped from my brain
i miss you a lot

I already hate myself for the things i do
their not good for my health
but they feel so good
no matter what
i find myself seeking out the substance to bring me up to the clouds
the change of character that comes with them
the confidence they bring
it's lovely
words are easy, songs flow out like a river
this feeling won't last
the ideas only exist under the influence
rinse and repeat

i hope they take me while i sleep

So fast
i waited for you for so long
once you were finally within reach i sprinted for the chance to love you the way i always wanted to
this shower of affection was all too much for a recently broken
girly
i hope she actually loved me, it felt like it was real
but the way she left me without even a word
screams that she never cared at all

I feel like i know a lot
but i don't know
what day it is

Let's try it again?
same book, same ending
it's my favourite book though
i'll never get sick of it

If i had one night ima spend it with you
i need help real soon
i might die in my room