I blew smoke into your face,
You smiled laughing it off.
I didn't understand how you did it,
Neither did you for me.
Two individuals living it,
The life we both feared.
We looked so different,
You exhilarating but broken.
We looked so different,
Me cheerful but insecure.
We hide the parts we deem,
Are the most unbearable.
We show the parts we deem,
Are most socially accepted.
Two of us so different,
But truth to be are the same.

You seemed so distant,
I was so scared.
You have no idea,
What's in my past.
The scars I've collected,
Pain ingrained in me.
I try to break free,
To recreate this piece.
But it's not possible,
Just like fate.
So i just hurt and fear,
Yet again that you'll leave.

I tried but never realized how hard normalcy could be.
Sitting among the others tourist or people one and all.
I pretend I’m fine and say hi but really I’m not even the least.
Meals are never just meals to me so as apply for the rest.
Trips with my family feel like torture but they are not wrong.
I put this mask on and blame others for hurting me.
Turning it all inwards I craft the scars on my limbs my story.
Every time I think things are gonna be different this time.
I am forever disappointed because I never change myself.
This impassible task is my mission in life to recreate.
To make things just a little better for me and everyone.

The dark has always been part of me,
it still is
and forever will be.
I try to break free of its touch,
Only to
Realize its me.
I am the daekness which lives within me,
We are one
Its true all can see.

I starred,
more through you than at you.
My eyes,
vacant as a desert.

You took,
my hand and whispered in.
My ears,
its alright it'll be fine.

I tried,
to come back to the present.
To you,
me and everything real.

But still,
I linger in between.
A place,
None can fathom or see.

Scientists have discoverd
the same flexibiliy in thoughts
that leads to creativity;
can also lead in some individuals
to mental illness.

I silently paryed
You would see me,
The fear and torment
Reciding in me.
As my arms
Wrapped you in an embrace,
Wishing you could
Eternally keep me safe.