(...)
the room is filled with a deadly silence
then you walk in
(...)*

And the silence breaks
scattering the shards that once were
-...-

Je prie, j'ai peur
Je ris, je meurs
Je joue, je gagne
J'ai mal et je me soigne
Et j'ai le même sang que toi

//Translation\

I pray, I'm afraid
I laugh, I die
I play, I win
I hurt and I heal myself
And I have the same blood as you

Ma vie disparaît lentement
Comme la lune argentée s'effaçant dans
Un soleil brillant d'orange et de jaune

Une fois que la lune se couche
Un nouveau jour s'amplore avec le soleil levant

//Translation\

My life slowly fades away
like the silver moon fading into
a bright sun of orange and yellow

Once the moon sets
A new day dawns with the rising sun

Everything you hope for
and everything you wish,
is as likely as a bicycle
being ridden by a fish.

You hover above me
kindly watching me paint
but before my brush can touch the canvas
a single tear falls
from where you stand
painting my white canvas for me
you may as well
could have splattered the canvas with red

You hover above me
kindly watching me paint
but before my brush can touch the canvas
a single tear falls
from where you stand
painting my white canvas for me
you may as well
could have splattered the canvas with red

As I sit up here, my pleasures equine
I look up
to see the face of the moon so divine
as I sit up here
balancing on the tip of this pine
I think
oh ****, why does this poem rhyme!

rid me of the dark memories that haunt my soul
shed those tears I cried so long ago, into the depths of my pillow
but only minutes have passed,
it feels like years...

And I run to you,
with aching legs
and an aching heart
I run into your arms
closing my eyes
In hopes as to never forget this moment

and with soft promises of tomorrow.
tiny whispers of "I love you"
silent prayers that this wouldn't be the last time
A kiss on my forehead
holding me close to your chest
tears in our eyes
sadness overflowing
onto the pine needles crunching beneath our bare feet

Delicate hands on soft cheeks
"I have to go.."
Sadness sparks again in your eyes
"I love you."
"I love you too."

We break away,
only to stare at each other for another minute
our hands and our eyes locked together

Whispers,
carried away by the wind
"Rem em mber  m me  e.."
And our hands part
We break our gaze
More tears.
I'd never seen you cry before.

That moment.
the one moment where you are at the point between sanity and insanity.
the worst moment
but the best
the one that seems to last forever
but is gone in the blink of an eye
The breaking moment

"I love you"

We both retreat back into the safety of the darkness

My fingertips swirl
grabbing colour after colour
tracing every detail
the small necessities
needed only by me

the green twirls
making nature come to life
the red streaks along the pavement
like blood splattered along the road
I add yellow
giving happiness to my world

But, this isn't my world
what I described
this picture that I created
It's all in your head
Whatever you saw me draw
all those colours
all the pictures
They're the colours of your mind

What did I draw?
What did *you see?

you stand in front of me
only slightly to the left
yours one of the many
the small candles lighting up in the darkness
encircling those who I've gotten closer with this summer
singing sweet songs of happiness
I force a smile onto my face
mirroring those around me
trying to hide the tears streaking down
my rosy cheeks
it feels like an eternity,
but it went by like the snap of a finger
and everyone walks away
retreating back into the darkness
the circle of candlelight breaking off
and heading in the other direction
a single candle slows,
letting the others slip ahead
You turn around,
the candle resting in your fragile hand
And I run to you
with aching legs
and an aching heart
I embrace you
praying to god
that I might see you again tomorrow

You kiss me on the top of my head
whispering, I love you
our matching brown eyes meet
twinkling by the fading candlelight
somewhere in my gut I knew
that I wouldn't see you
but somewhere in my heart
hoped that I would

You should be enlightened with all the rays of the sun
The clouds shall encircle your neck as a wreath
If you were to sit upon a throne of all glory
would you crown me your queen?

Cuts and bruises line my face
my arms
my legs
and my back,

all from you
and what you did to me
of course they're not real
that's just how I feel
as they join the scars on my heart

In a life of blackness
within the darkness swirling around
I ponder
deep into the darkest night
wishing, wondering, waiting
for something to happen
but not here,
not in this charcoal dust filled room
clogging my throat and my nose
I can barely breathe
but the black dust dances,
creating a story of the demons
and devils that fill my soul
The blackness thick around me
like a cloud
suffocating
me...
but I die
knowing that I was right
I died within the blackness of the demons that haunt my soul
I died with the devil inside of me
---------------------
And with me inside the devil.

I peer out
As I sit here on this tree
looking out on the views beyond
The sun setting against the gentle landscape
The rolling hills, outlined by a deep forest
looking at the tall purple mountains
the copse of trees in the valley
the grass blows in the wind
underneath the sky
sitting
here
tall
proud
loved
bold
brave
wise
wild
I can see all the wonders of the world from here on this tree

"Why?"
I ask, puzzled.
He squinted like he was looking at something far away but could't see it. He pushed his small brown rimmed spectacles up the bridge of his nose, stroking his white beard.
"I couldn't tell you that. You must look inside yourself.. There is the time and place you will find the answer you are looking for."
And he vanished, as fast as he had died the last time.
The pair of spectacles were all that remained, glinting in the sun on mothers old wooden dresser.
"I will grandpa.. I will."

bullets ricochet off my chest
never to hit my steel heart
but like a grenade,
your bomb hits me
breaking my heart
**heartache

Hello grass
Hello dirt
Hello to the dust and roots
The soil underneath my fingertips
The feel of grass along my face
I feel welcomed
You punch me
Over and over
I fall
My face to the ground
The grass greets me like an old friend
Bleeding
Bruised
I get back up
Just to be knocked down
once again
The grass welcomes me with
Its soft touch
Rolling onto my back
I look up
I'm glad I'm not up there
I'm glad I'm here
Down on earth

Lying on the grass

she wonders
she travels
she believes
she achieves
she laughs
she cries
she lives
...
I will never say those next two words in fear of making them a reality
She will never die
her spirit will live on forever
in me
in us
as a whole

Black
Grey
Fading
Mist
lurking in the shadows
but if one were to look closely enough
they would see these hidden figures
almost resembling a person
Merely a shadow
forgotten amongst its virtues
and its beliefs
but if you can squint
tilt your head to the side
look really closely
then you might be able to see
these hidden shadows
they can tell their tales
of life
loss
and sorrow
so if you can see them
don't forget to say hi

The sound of shrieking engulfs me
like large flames flickering against me
the tongues of fire reach my soul
setting my heart ablaze
but I still run
through the wall of fire that traps me
inside its blood red heart

Then your hands hit me
they land softly against my back
giving me a sense of safety
But when I look down
Your hands are the flames
Your eyes a bright orange
so I run
through the wall of fire that traps me
that keeps me hidden
inside your blood red soul

Suddenly, you embrace me
your palms against my waist
feel like ice
Your fingertips graze my face
and I look up into your clear blue eyes
and I don't feel safe
But, I know that I am

I am always safe with you
So keep me by your side

My shedded tears cover the earth
coating its green wonders in water
ice,
a word representing demons

ice
like your stare
crystal blue eyes
penetrate my soul
digging deep
reaching in
grabbing what's left of me
in your clenched fist

Ice
cold,
Sliding away
with my heart

Once planted on earth
But when those few words fell smoothly from your lips
I lifted off
Just floating in space
The air swirling around me
I speak but no sound forms
my words slur together
In this open space
Gravity has no hold on me
but am I free?
This state of madness
A different world
Engulfed in nothingness
but am I free?
You can't hold me back
No one can
but am I free?

If we always read
what was going on around us
in our world
in the present
then when would we take the time
to see what is going on
Because seeing is believing
Isn't it?
But no,
no it is not
You might be able to see the world
the actions that are going on around you
but you will never be able to see
The Mind
The imagination is the greatest key
to be able to see
to see a world other than our own
That is why nonfiction is stupid
it only holds what you can see
what you experience in your everyday life
I don't see any greater joy
than reading a story made up
from the billions of people in our world
because only very few can see the world
for what it really is
but anyone could write about
Abe Lincoln, or Queen Elizabeth II
Stupid
Boring
Old
Nonfiction
But what if there was a different world?
A world beyond
a world that only you can imagine
again, this is why
Nonfiction *****
take a break from your everyday lives
and live a life in fiction
daydream
all you have to do,
**Imagine

I lie awake in bed
pondering silently in the dark
thinking of what, -of whom I may become
who I'm taught to be
what is right
what is best
but it's not me..

But it's just not me...

Remember
Remember those sad moments we shared together
The times you would cry into my shoulder
I would always comfort you, I was always there
Or the happy ones
when you would come home to me with a glistening smile on your face
You'd laugh with me by your side
You once had those deep brown eyes
They'd light up when you'd smile
I felt like I could look into them and I would see your thoughts
I could tell what you were thinking
what you were feeling
your sorrows and your joys
I could see
I would know
Now your eyes are clouded with a thick fog
The glint in your eyes is gone
And I know
I'll never see it again
Once
A forgotten memory

Sonder
Never ending
going
on   and  on
and  on  and
on  and  on
and  on  and
on  and  on
passerby,
"are you alright?"
Noticing my red eyes
the silver tears
the small moments
movements
"I'm not sure."
Cool and blunt
"Find it then."
leaving me
standing
staring
here
*Find what?