If you took it from the past,
-what a wonderful

If you took it from the past,
-what a wonderful

If you took it from the past,
-what a wonderful

Took it from a past,
-Wonderful World

This **** got me feeling some type of way...
And I felt compelled to say..
Swallow my thoughts..
******* words..
And if it's too nasty spit it back at me..
I want you to feel just how I feel..
I want you to know...
That if you let me...
You sure as hell wont regret me...
****, if you let me...
You'll never forget me...
Please don't act like you know me..
All you know is word of mouth...
That doesn't mean you know me...
All that means...
Is you know someones ****** up portrayal of me...


I feel like I'm on stage...
Performing in front of a bunch of clowns...
Talking a bunch of ****..
Cuz you've got me all wrong...
I'm aint no clown...
I know my name's getting tossed around...
My personal business is just in everyone's ears...

And At this point...
I'm just above all this ****..
My head is in the clouds...
I've been through it all...
31 years young and I've been through it all...
The fails, the falls...
Are you surprised??
I'm like Niagara...
look closely...
I got right back up like ******...
I'm still standing...

So, Stop trying to shoot me down..

How could you ever really know my story?
You've never been in my shoes...
Don't you know no one alive can always be an angel?
When everything goes wrong....
You see some bad...
I'm honestly just a soul whose intentions are good...

So go ahead...
Love me or hate me...
I swear it won't make or break me...
You have no idea where my head was in that battle...
I was just trying to stay ahead of my shadow...

Truth is...
I lost everything, but I ain't the only one...
Don't care what you try and say...
That's life...
That's just how the **** it goes...
I knocked, and hope wasen't there...
Love was gone but maybe it was never there...

So, who the hell are you to judge?
Didn't you know...
First came the hurricane, then the morning sun?

But its cool now, its fine...
I'm no longer angry...
I'm no longer floating like a boat without a paddle...
I'm just cool like LA nights...
Speaking nothing but truth to you,
high as a kite...

Sometimes when I'm alone..
My heart likes to **** with my mind and play movie stills of nostalgic ******* I have no patience to entertain anymore.

Actually...
lately when this ******* occurs, I replace it with the hell my heart tends to forget.

Like bullet points...
Sometimes its phrases.
Sometimes its things you did that were absolutely ******.
Or on that rare occassion where I start to miss you...
I simply use the last words I heard from you and that seems to do the trick.

You remember dont you?


I was desperate and afraid of losing what we had... Because I still believed you loved me..
Isn't that hilarious?
and I most certainly loved you...
So I reached out to apologize, face to face and I'll never forget what you said to me...
It makes me laugh now, because its pure evil but its like a ****** up tattoo thats never going away...

"My girlfriend wouldnt appreciate us meeting up."

It killed me at the time...
But its hilarious now, because I was your wife...

But its okay, and finally...
So am I....

I stopped missing you...
I stopped wondering what you were doing...
If you were sorry.
If you missed me.


It took me so the **** long...
I mourned you like you were dead...
But now when someone speaks your name, or I hear your car outside my window...
I'm indifferent and I never understood the meaning of that word until.....


I repeatedly, repeated that small little phrase to myself.

Isn't that crazy?
that's all it took....

And like magic...

Surprise!!!!!
I don't ******* care.

Every tear that ever formed in my eyes...
Everytime I'd entertain a memory of you.
Everytime I'd hear your name and feel as if I'd gotten the wind kicked out of me.
Everytime I'd drop to my knees because I couldn't bare to live without you or what you had done to me...

It finally just stopped burning inside me...
There's nothing left for you here my dear.
No old photos to mourn.
No more desperation.
Its gone up in flames and i'll never burn for you again.