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I'm trying, I swear.
I'm stuck. Trying not to dispair.
It's bitter cold, inside this whole affair.
Frozen words, the only repair.

Help is near.
But I'm swallowed in fear.
Inside out, not one tear.
So close, yet so far, from my soughten cheer.

My instincts abandoned.
My emotions are stranded.
I'm at the precipice of where I've landed.
And nothing is ok, from where I'm standing.

I'm unfolding again.
I watch it begin.
So hold on my loves,
For the girl within, (the original sin).
750

Growth of Man—like Growth of Nature—
Gravitates within—
Atmosphere, and Sun endorse it—
Bit it stir—alone—

Each—its difficult Ideal
Must achieve—Itself—
Through the solitary prowess
Of a Silent Life—

Effort—is the sole condition—
Patience of Itself—
Patience of opposing forces—
And intact Belief—

Looking on—is the Department
Of its Audience—
But Transaction—is assisted
By no Countenance—
a nice companion,
the queen of forgetting.

the earth bruised your fragile heart.
i know you mean well but
waking this part of me
will destroy us both.

the day
i raised her
in sunlight and shadow
colors mixing on her lips

you reach out your hands
scooping up the sand from this
burial mound
falling slowly from the cracks
between your fingers,
my former life piled high around your ankles.
They looked at her
With disgust in their eyes.
"She's an artist" they said
But she could not disguise,
The pain she dealt with
Every night at home.

Her mother was working
And her father wasn't involved,
She kept slipping away to the voices,
Listening to their every sound.

And then he came.

He looked at every imperfection,
And saw the beauty in her.
He admired every piece if artwork,
By paint brush and blade.
She never failed to impress a crowd,
By people or demons.

But, not all stories have a happy ending.
For he left,
And so did she.
I thought I was alone
That no one understood
That I was different
It made me feel special
But mostly ashamed

I thought I was the only one
Who sat in her room alone
That wrote what she couldn't understand
That just sat on her bed and listened to music

I felt like no one would would understand
That it was weird
That people would think I was too strange
Too different
Thought too deep
Or had too many emotions

But then a group of us
All sat in a circle
And we just spoke the truth about ourselves
And then none of us were alone

They loved to write
They spent time alone
Music set them free too
I thought I was all alone
But then I found all of you
This is what happened today
“Stay strong. Keep your head up."
Yet people always seem to weaken me
And my eyes always seem to seek and find the ground
“This is the storm that'll pass very soon. Don't worry. I'll comfort you."
I've had this storm for years, and you've left a long time ago
“You'll see. You'll be happy and wonder why you were depressed at all."
I won't see. Happiness is in a pill that I don't want to take
And depression will always be a lingering fate
“If you won't accept my advice. Go ahead then. I don't care what happens to you."*

You don't get it. *I don't care about me too
I cannot truly mourn or miss you
What do I know of you, or you of me?
We strangers never met and never will

I know you as I know the morning dew,
Sun-kissed to rise and fall into the sea
And deftly tossed till lost among the swill

Aye I know the sea and morning dew
But still I don't know you

I know you like the albatross that flew
Above the sea, soaring majestically
It flew away, some purpose to fulfil

Aye I know the albatross that flew
But still I don't know you

I know you like the mother's heart that knew
Her loving child was just a memory,
Too swiftly taken by a bitter pill

Aye I see a mother's grief show through
But still I don't know you

I know you like the news they tell of you,
The printed page and captions on TV
That cycle every factoid they can spill

Aye I know the news they tell of you
But still I don't know you

We strangers never met and yet its true,
You reached inside and touched the heart of me
And though you're gone, you live within me still

Yet how I wish alas that I could pass
You in the street without a care

If only you were there
If only you were there
If only you were there
First published 12th Jan 2015, 20:10 AEST.
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