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Arii Mar 17
Do you, too,
Look up at someone close
And wonder
How
They go about their journey
Without you?

Do you
Feel like you’re staring
Through frosted glass
At
some stranger
Who’s face
You’ve seen before?

Do you look up at the
Sky,
And see not a single
Star?

Do you
feel like you’re
Too close
To someone
you really love
But never really
Knew.

Do you?

Do you?

Is it just me
Or
do you,
too?
Arii Mar 16
I recall a day,
who knows how long ago
I lost my temper at a child,
Who, better, didn’t know.

She liked singing, doodling,
And playing hide-and-seek
I thought she was rather empty,
Being around her was always bleak.

She was annoying, for sure,
Like an alarm going off in the morning.
And oh, so very loud,
Like an attention-seeking freak.

An agonizing decade later,
I screamed at the poor kid,
“What are you, a monster!?”
And the pathetic thing ran and hid.

I remember avoiding mirrors for a long time after,
Knowing I shouldn’t have lost my cool.

Now when I look into my reflection
and see that kid again,
I finally realise,

“She was scared, you blasted fool.”
Arii Mar 16
What if I’m not enough
for
  you?
I know that I’m not enough
For
  You.
Is it too much to ask
For praise,
  a smile,
   a laugh?
But I’m met with silence
And it’s breaking me down
When will it be okay?
When will you at least
glance at me to say
That I’m anything worth
acknowledging?
Is my effort in vain?
Am I walking the wrong direction,
Or was there never a right path in the
First place?
Do you hear anything I plead,
Or was I never talking to you at all?
To a brick wall?
No,
To the empty expanse of void where there’s
  No
   one
To hear my words
Except myself
I want to hear your voice
But I can’t
Because at this point
I can’t hear anything.
Not because I’m deaf
But because you were right
And I got tired of my own
                                                Voice
But for my sake,
For my life’s sake,
Is it too much to ask
That you’ll wait for me at the end of the tunnel
And tell me
That that light
Was ever a chance worth taking?
Or
Was it never meant
for me at all?
Arii Mar 15
Sometimes nothing feels real
  Like I’m floating in some fever dream
     And unable to heal
          I gaze at the stars and think

                What if it’s all faux
                         What if it is all a dream?
                                      But it feels like I’ve stooped too low
                                                 To wait around and see

                                                                   Play around and
                                                                see

                                                                                Maybe it was never real
from the start

       Maybe the only thing fake was a part
                  Of
Me.
Arii Mar 14
My reflection
stares back at me

Water feels how
Soap tastes in my mouth,
Like a pile of worms
in my ears

My reflection ripples
in the surface
Of the clear liquid
My features warp like
A portal
Wrinkled fabric on a table

It feels like my face is
really twisting
Into this broken
deformed
mutated
Monster.

I hate that image

God, I wish it’d
disappear

for once
Arii Mar 13
I always loved the sky.
From its bright sunny blues in the morn’
To its oranges in the evening
To its pinks at early dawn

To the warmth of the sun
To the cool of the rain
To the thunder in the distance
To the snow and the hail

To the fluffy clouds in the day
And stars that shine at night
To the moon and the planets I
Couldn’t reach if I tried.

I always loved the sky.
For I could always become a part of it.
Arii Mar 11
I don’t know what
love
is
When I can’t even bring
myself
To love someone
else
who loves
Me

As self-centered as it is
I can't help but stray
away
And hold myself back from that

Heartbreak

And


Grief

It’s killing
Me

And
I want nothing more
than to be
close to someone
That will hold me
close
like in all those
sappy portrayals
Of love,

But it doesn’t
come

I lay around


And wait for something
New.
Wrote this for valentines, completely forgot about it until now tbh
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