Abigail Fischer: Poems

Abigail Fischer May 2018

Deteriorating colors of unwanted faces,
They call outward into the damp and dark,
Father’s love is none to lonely,
And throw them outward to thirsty sharks,

Longated faces of lost youth,
Worn skin with less worn clothes,
Father’s love is none to lonely,
Innocence left as survival rose,

White isn’t the color of safety,
But truth becomes mixed in lost words,
Father’s love is none to lonely,
Vision begins to fade sleep disturbs,

Bruises internally bleed sorrow,
Calling outward from closed lips,
Father’s love is none to lonely,
Learn to close your mouth and open your hips,

Unwanted and unloved the gone innocence is,
As she stands on clouds high,
Father’s love is none to lonely,
So she jumps to see if she can fly.

#absence #pain #sorrow #children #story #thoughts #late #sleep #thinking #love

Can Someone Take the Memories

Abigail Fischer May 2018

Can Someone Take the Memories

Can anyone take the memories?
They’re beconing me to a place I never should be,
They’re reminding me of mistakes sent free,
An eternity of sin and greed,

Can anyone take the memories?
I can’t erase the one time I accepted a fantasy,
Before losing the charity,
That now I no longer have within me,

Can anyone take the memories?
Because they’re haunting my sleep,
As I sit here and shake and weep,
Thinking of the disapearing creep,

He is hiding within my memories.

Carryin' My Chains

Abigail Fischer Jun 2018

Carryin' My Chains

It's hot in the day,
Of weathering pain,
When they all be yellin'
And screamin' my name,
But I'll keep walkin',
Carryin' my chains,

The night is inviting,
Comes out the insane,
They all scream excited,
It's all in vain,
But I'll keep walkin',
Carryin' my chains,

They all be fallin,
They be droppin' slain,
I'm sure they'd be callin',
Sorrowful I abstain,
I'll keep walkin',
Carryin' my Chains,

Keep on walkin child,
Even when you afraid,
They all scream wild,
Keep your head down in your lane,
Keep on walkin',
Carryin' your chains...

Faith

Abigail Fischer Aug 2018

Faith

He’s real?
You say this to me with faith,
Because faith has helped me so often in life,
When darkness devoured me it was faith,
No... it was a switch which ended my night,
It wasn’t faith that saved me from death,
It was a doctor pounding on my chest,
It wasn’t faith that helped my sadness retreat,
Nor end my long endured reality I’d end in defeat,
It wasn’t faith that brought me to stand where I am,
It was me- who pulled myself into safe land,
Faith didn’t save me when I was in high tide,
It was the will in my heart to make it out alive,
It wasn’t faith that made me understand it’s okay to fear,
It was every night alone facing too many lonely tears,

So don’t tell me he’s real through faith,
It’s a made up word by people who hate,
That for once they’re wrong.
No faith helped me when I was alone.
He’s not real and it’s okay truly,
So please take your “faith” and let me be.

#religion #reality #sadness #depression #frustration #anger #lonely #****** #god #conflictiom

My Never Ending Hell

Abigail Fischer May 2018

My Never Ending Hell

I don’t write right,
I don’t speak neat,
I write what I speak,
Leaving error for unique,
I don’t care to be fair,
And fair isn’t there,
In the battle of scare or be scared,
I fear the fears,
Fears that encapture slow,
Slow and arrogant,
To put on a snare and show,
Slow is nasty,
Nasty is the only thing I see,
In the world of winning,
I don’t write for you,
I don’t write to read,
Don’t tell me I write wrong,
These words are wrote to be freed,
Not for your benefit,
Yet you still convince my mind,
There is something wrong,
Wrong to be kind,
Wrong to be in need,
But I’m not listening,
Grab my pitchfork,
Grab moreso the pen,
Write from the hell,
Find it within and carve the shell,
Hide it within a sin,
And watch the world it’s emerged in.

#torture #encapture #enslaved #awake #benefit #thought #think #night #love #death

Nightmare

Abigail Fischer Jun 2018

Nightmare

I am a puppet with lowly strings,
The children they laugh hollow echos in my ears,
Make it disappear,
The demons they say,
They’re in my head,
Yet writing through my hands they blead,
How fast must one address these things in order to bring peace at night,
Alone in crazy’s might,
May I be persistent in my failures of sleep or can death just take tool...?

I think I’m going crazy.

Oh Brother

Abigail Fischer May 2018

Oh Brother

They’re all above me,
A pity to think that I could play with burns and not expect to ache,
I quake and break at the remembrance I’m another fake held once more by my own lies,
I want to swing with the big guys,
Brother Lee always said to stay in the stands and dance away my chance of playing one day,
Now I sit here and write with the thought of that night that I slipped my chance,
This hell oh toil and pain,
Is it not insane to think I could be a victor in the world of anger and rage,
Let me be with the best to my dying day oh brother,
The time is fading and time is not my enemy but my inevitable end,
Give me one more breath to write with my pen the words I cannot say for the knowledge it will not change the outcome of the day,
The big boys don’t need another companion to keep them alive,
They thrive off of picking on the little guys,
And that’s all the big ones will ever see of me

#pain

The Escape

Abigail Fischer May 2018

The Escape

A window with a barricade is a window nonetheless,
Captured and captivated as holding my breath,
A prison cell holds no harmony in the eye of deceit,
They rarely see they’re standing in their own defeat,
Isn’t it neat?
Millions of people convinced they’re free,
Captivity holds nothing if not willing eulogies,
Night will rise to meet again and fall,
You will think you will see it beautiful and tall,
But seeing and looking are two different things,
All of which captivity brings,
To settle us into fateful death,
Willingly walking with shortness of breath,
The end is near oh fateful day,
Captivity held me until I faded away

Time Out?

Abigail Fischer May 2018

Time Out?

Time Out,
Am I supposed to be depressed?
As a teenage girl should I get off my chest,
The unrest I have?
It’s as if they expect it of me when honestly even when I struggle to breath I’m still content to believe,
I’m not depressed,
So time out,
Am I supposed to believe something is wrong with me,
And therefore feel bad because I won’t fit into society?
**** your belief,
When I read and feel pressured to say who I am for you,
Time out,
Let me be free to my entirety of confused and used rage,
Society you’re done,
You’re out,
Strike one is done and two as well,
Three came when you made me feel confined and no longer kind,
Time out
You’re done and thank you for the rage you dispelled against me

To the Being I Once Loved

Abigail Fischer May 2018

To the Being I Once Loved

To the being I once loved,
The dreary day still plagues my mind,
Kind and tender I’m trying to be,
But patience with you is hard to find,
You’re heart of lies pierced my trust,
Uttering silly phrases too good to be true,
Through and through the pain took toll,
As you said “I love you”
And then said it onwards to more people who ,
In retrospect didn’t know,
They didn’t know the scheme you plot and pry,
The things you do to make us bend,
The way you manipulate to make a lie seem willing and kind and by,
The end the tears no longer cry,
And through anger I try to grasp the empathy I once had found within,
I forgive you my old friend,
And no longer hold myself downward,
For every beginning will always and onward have an end

Trapped

Abigail Fischer May 2018

Trapped

Trapped,
In a sea of anger and enraging frustration,
Of acknowledgment in my incaptured nation of hell,
They can never be wrong with the sun is ablaze,
Nor should they be wrong when they’re full of haze,
And fire to remind me once more of the captured soul I am,
Trapped,
In this hell of should I stay or go,
Knowing that going isn’t an option anymore for me,
But the longing to go is a way of reminder,
That being set on fire and left to die,
Isn’t an option of use to be free…
Trapped,
Because this is what you want of life,
For me to use a knife in the dull side of my mind,
And to confine the words I get to breath,
But words aren’t able to be held like me,
In the cell of limited happiness and beauty,
No, trapped,
The words cannot be.

Understand

Abigail Fischer Jun 2018

Understand

Hear the silence,
It’s deafening to me,

The wind isn’t blowing,
Encaptured in its own insanity,
The leaves aren’t rustling,
For they dream to be free,
The grass moves not,
Looking and longing at past memories,

Hear the silence,
It’s deafening to me,

No child’s laughter,
No warmth from the heart,
Stands no other man,
Ensnared at their start,
No voice is from within,
The silence has torn it apart,

Lost the anger but also the guidance,
Lost the enemies but also the alliance,
Lost the will and show compliance,
I have been consumed,
Consumed by silence.

— The End —