Am not the boy I used to be
I grew up
But what makes me.. me
Still intact, just with few modifications
I've seen life a bit
I've felt a few things too
"Love, heartbreak, panic attack, disappointment but deeply loneliness..
I learnt how to be alone
And I've seen depression in the dark
I've come face to face with my demons
I understood me back then
But now, just a few
I've understood what sorry really stands for
I've tasted the bitterness of being hurt
I really grew up
I've seen the bittersweet of things
The good, the bad & the extreme
I was once whole
Filled with ecstasy
Eye's filled rainbows
But now it's mostly grey
The rainbow's lost in my darkness
And I know not what to do
That's how broken I am
I grew up, didn't I?.

The animalistic side
The side unleashed when need be
The one that purrs when needing comfort...
Protective of his circle
The king of Everything
He roars to it...
That animalistic side
When buttons cut,  clothes scattered
Just to fill that animalistic urge
For a moment nothing else matters
The side unleashed when need be
Heart racing, sweat dripping, blood pumping...
He roars to it

Perfect match
Perfect somehow
"Perfect" In ways nobody knows
Eyes filled with cravings
Hearts beating to affections shared
Hands never letting go
The beauty that grows within
Her beauty He sees "speechless"
The sound she makes when she laffs
A pefect match with her magnificent smile
I write this with great care
"Not a gift but something to smile bout"
Pictures of u in my head
Adding memories we've not shared
But in perfect motion up above
All the troubles we're yet to cause
Perfect match
Perfect somehow
Perfect in ways nobody knows

The loving is real
All through the Nightingale
Beaming wild in our joyful eyes
No question of doubt
For the girl who loved
For hers is real
And it sinks deep in thy heart
Mind to heart
Heart to mind
It runs through
In just a beating second
We find the passion
For his eyes could tell tales of love
For his love is real
The love of two wild souls
In a monstrous world
And still surviving
No question of doubt
The loving is real

Hey
I went crazy when I first saw you
I was this young, dumb, weird-ish looking guy..
[Maybe a lil bit handsome]
I was completely mind blown by your insane beauty..
Soon, I felt I could actually fly
With so many butterflies
Right there beautiful, I felt ecstasy
You made me feel ecstatic
I love the way you laugh with your face
And when you try to dance funny
I love it when you say my name in a **** way & then giggle afterwards..
I love it when your eyes glow with so much grace
That enlightens everyone around you
I love that you're perfectly imperfect
I love every little thing bout you
I promise to try as hard as my heart can beat to make you the happiest woman all day, everyday...
Even when the days are grey
Lemme save some for the future date
I love you
So much my heart can't hold
[Goes down on one knee]
Would you do me this greatest honor
Will you......................??

If I had three wishes, they'd all be for the benefit of someone else

Am in love
With someone who knows not who I am
Am in love
Only listening to what my heart's gotta say
I don't know who's right
My mind says it's own thought;
"You're right in front of her but invincible to be seen..
Why does it hurt?  I cried
You are in love son, mind said
What do I do?
You have two choices
Fight for her or..
Walk away..
So this is how love is
No son, this is just the bittersweet
To be in love with someone  who doesn't see you..
If she's  worth it, then you fight
But if not, you let go.

Writings in the wind
Fist Fighting in a Sandstorm
The mission Lies through
Beyond the empty fields i thought
Her heart must i seek
The journey to her blossom smile
Deep -  Deep stare into her daring eyes...
My words misplaced
W WWoWow all my mouth could utter..
Her impeccable beauty
She freezes my mind to a fantasy
The adventure of a love_cursed man

That one day
Every second, minute and hour
We have that opportunity to say how we truly feel..
"to see her all alone in corner, swooping in to make her laugh"
Just that second, minute & hour
Feels like forever
Seeing her smile
Feels like mission accomplished
But we just that one day
To say it all

I still remember
I still remember the first time
The first time I saw you
There was no butterfly in my belly
But I knew something wonderfully made was bout to start..
I was simply attracted to your pretty face
And that hazel eyes of yours...

I still remember
The first time you said "hello"
It was as if a melodious tune was set to play..
I was completely shy up, down to my knees

I still remember
The first time you smiled at me
It was ruins up in my head
Cos' the lil guys up there couldn't find the perfect reply..
So I graciously gave an awkward smile
But right there I felt a butterfly

I still remember
The first time we touched
I felt a spark
A passionate firework
Ready to burst deep in my heart
That day all them butterflies I felt in my belly.

"Don't look at me like that"
Thin or Fat
Why should you get to body shame me?
So as to get fame
And feel like u've conquered someone who wasn't armed..
Am human just like you, with legs & arms
But you don't get to see that
You see only what you wanna see
The flaws that makes you tick
Don't look at me that way
Yeah those are my scars now
Made by your claws
They clawed deep into my inner being
Leaving a scar too deep to be seen
With a sword depression battles in
I yield
Am like a broken glass now
Too shattered to feel whole
All because you looked at me that way
No one is perfect
But we are close to perfection in our own way...
Am awake now
No more in the nightmare you built me
Don't look at me like that
For I am beautiful.

Am sick
Nobody sees me
The shadow between shadows
The Loneliness Kills me slowly
Am sick
Nobody sees me
The drive to do stupid things just to be noticed...
Am sick
It has a cure
But its scarce
A hug would do
But its scarce
Am sick
Nobody sees me
I need help
The silence is deafening my embrace I hope and Hope still No one
I look around I see Love but not for me..
I'll find my way.. I know

Broken bones
All ghosts n ghouls
Fear and damnation reeks
Lost souls all that they seek
Gnashing teeth's the rhythm of the town
The sounds of sacrifice
Rippers ready for soul snatching
Hearts racing, darkness grips the mind
The barks of the hell hounds
Everything in hollow desolation
The misty mountain sings

Standing here
Everybody in Pairs
All my fears in a mini me
Where I long to be
Alone in this party
Friends with the DJ, knowing the playlist...
History says It "hearts were racist"
Dancing on my own
Trying to fight my demons
Chasing relentlessly...
But he tricked me
I see him! I see him! over there
Standing right here watching you kiss her

Still
Two feets standing on a principle
Two hands longing for each others warmth
Two hearts beating for each others love
Still
Shying away
Day by day
From the principality of feeling the warmth  of each others love

Beneath everything
Every try to be "Almost perfect"
Despite  the daily criticism
I'm still breathing
Breathing through my deep scar
Underlining my super flaw
Everyday I try to be someone else
Just to please someone else
My scars run deep
I gradually fade away
Underlining my super flaw
Every try to be "Almost perfect"
Despite my daily critics
Diving deep into my scars
I still breathe

In a moment of madness
There was a fist fight with the "Inner me"
And He said;
Beneath your scars
You!  Yes you
You are almost perfect without trying
"No one is in control of who likes who"
Learn to love your scars
It's made you

In just a fist fight
Beneath the crazy
Despite all odds
We became one
Scars to my beautiful

There I lay lifeless
Waiting and Waiting for the breathe of life..
Alive
A thirst for love
Everyone turns a blind spot
Alone in this world I thought
Away into the badlands
Then a whisper "you'll never walk alone"
Don't look at me like that
My family shines bright above

Its Time
For several months my pen has been pregnant..
Bearing the pain of dance rehearsals
For several months she kept me going
From our first date she took my negativity
She kept on dancing
She kept on being my partner in crime
"Its labour day"; She said..
I couldn't watch her dance in pain
But for several months I found courage
I could feel her heartbeat as she held on so tight..
" Its Time"; She said
Let the world know you
For all this is the greatest Love
So she kept on dancing and dancing
Finally,  it was time
Everyone was speechless
It was epic, happiness filled the air
For nine months
It was the greatest gift ever given
Being Poetic.

You have no idea how i smile when i think of you
Just to have you picture perfect in my head
Gives me the blush
To place my hands on your cheeks & give you the fairytale kiss..
Happiest day of my life.
A tap on my leg
I find myself hugging my pillow
I had fantasized bout u before going to bed
It was all a dream..
All day, all night
I have you picture perfect in my head
No filter, just you
Smiling at the beauty that caught my attention..
To place my hands on ur face, kissing ur forehead,
Knowing quite well you're mine & am yours
It was all a dream
A sweet dream indeed
All day All night
I have you picture perfect in my head.

I want to sniff out peace by the shadows
Take in those heavenly dust
As frostily as they come
I want my pain to swim with the needles
Flowing down the connected vines
And ease the sins of thy children
I want to be addicted to ecstasy
To feel the surging push of emotions
Let my eyes see further than the truth
Whilst zoning out in pursuit of happiness


Don't swap your drugs for peace

As a poet
We write bout what we feel
The pain, tears, love & laughs
As a poet
We need a muse
The one person that's gives us the inspiration..
As a poet
We have emotions to put in the ink, placed on a paper..
To get a clearer picture of what is..
As a poet
We are poet for the sake of amazing poetry
As a poet
Poetry is who we are..

I have this voice in my head.
Like a siren calling out to me
Her voice is enchanting
Saying take this knife slit your wrist
And you will feel no pain
All your worries will be gone
Everything will be okay

Then the voice of my mother
Don't listen, it's the darkness speaking
I know you feel lost in the dark
Trust me you'll soon bask in the light
Remember son
Am always with you
Always

I had this voice.

In the night of day
The stars sing 'hallelujah'
Something she won't forget
The taste of love in her lips
How the Night changes
She walks through the beautiful moonlight
"Live Love Laugh" The rule of life in natures way...
Three words her heart desire
Words hanging on my lips
The beautiful watch of sunrise and sunset
The universe sees it all
Nature's way of saying the "Three words

Love spoke my name at dinner
The food tasted better
Love spoke my name.. called my name
Love took my heart & sat out
Love spoke my name in a whisper

Love spoke my name
Love...shake your surrender
Love...Let out your heart
Love there's nothing to conquer
"Love me" said Love
"Someone needs to love me"

Love spoke my name in silence
Clinging to roses around
Through flowers Love held me by the hand
Clouds and mushy weather
Love spoke my name at dinner
And urged me to surrender.

If only

If only this photograph's could tell tales
Tales of how happy we were
If only I wasn't blindsided
To the illusion that I was broken
If only my eyes could show you
The love I had always felt
Whenever I saw you..
If only I truly knew
The beautiful soul I had around me
I wouldn't be writing this
But instead a love poem
Craving all of you
If only I had a time machine
To go back in time
To say the words I truly wanted to say
If only...
If only I pulled you closer
And held you tight in my arms all day
If only I could say
I didn't ***** up big time
But I did.... Big time.

With words I find redemption
Granted mercy for a "second chance"
"To be consumed by Loneliness"
A Long Long story
In time i make amends
For all my Guilty pleasures
Damaging to my cause and to others
Memories in a storm
Love lost
All my friends in a quake
Will i be alone I said in a loud whisper
With words I found redemption
Forgiven for my Guilty pleasures
Granted mercy for a "second chance"

Walking sideways with my heart above...
My mind clouded with the beauties of the world..
In a moment, Everything Stopped, Everybody in slow _ slow motion....
Then a purple Rain fell on me
I saw the most Beautiful Star walking by...
Eyes Never closing
Time Never frozen
My heart ready to burst
The thought of thoughts in my mind
Inside this pages i'd build my fantasy world...
Where I'd Never wear out
For the first sight i Had of you
I keep singing Your favourite song just to feel close..
Just the day we met.. ..
We made memories

S_ sweetest passion for something
W_ wishing for a repeat of laughter's
E_ emotions swinging vein by vein
E_ excitement all we desire
T_ time and time we start all over

As I live n breathe
In the night of day
In search of thee
I grow weak with every step
My heart rumbles in the quake of her Love..
Her heart must i seek in the mazy days
The end will find me through this Love tale
Mine & Everything
The Queen of my heart
As I live n Breathe

Don't stare me down

Look at me
Look me in the eye
And tell me if all you feel is hate
Or rather still
The love, fairytales could make
I don't deserve you anymore
Even cupid won't take another chance with me
I messed something real that's now out of touch
If only one was not conflicted
Let your heart feel what mine feels
You'd know how my heart hates my brain
I write this with a broken pen
And a deep shaded heart
Look at me, please
Look me in the eyes
The way you used to
If you will, one more time
And tell me if all you feel is hate
Or rather still love

Walking home
The stench of Loneliness all Over me
The detailed stories in my eyes
I just wanna feel Love
Just wanna Breathe in Life
To be Happy, To Love and To be Loved
To be the better self of me

Against it all
A ceremony of hatred
Violation of human rights
Not an ounce of that good feeling
"Black Lives Matter"
A fight for a just cause
They say we free on paper, but you'd better watch ur back...
A quote on freedom
"A man is born free but everywhere he goes he's in chains"
A ceremony of hatred isn't it?
Parent 'scared' to walk the kids
Kids 'scared' to walk the streets
Streets 'scared' to walk the people
To feel safe for once
To feel safe from gun violence
On several occasions..
The world was grey
Our folks going to the other side too soon
Our brothers & sisters in tears
The air suffocates
Running towards chains
Racism ain't no joke
It pokes really hard
It puts a barricade on our children's future
Just to get beyond "colour"
Let's put a stop to it
To be 'Even' not 'Odd'
Enough is Enough
We running outta tears
We need to be tough to supress violence
To get that ounce of a good feeling
To be "Against it all"
To feel love for one another
In our mind, hearts, and on the streets..
A fight for a just cause...

Everyone knew
What we couldn't see
They placed bets
On what we couldn't feel
They were interventions
On something problematic we couldn't solve..
They had already chosen
What our hearts couldn't choose
They  saw you & I as "Us"
We saw us as just "You & I"
They said we were complicated
But we were just simply weird
They said we're In denial
Ya, we already knew deep down
You fell in love
As did I
They said we were perfect
That was true, for you
But not me
Your heart's a rockstar
Mine was in a million pieces
Everyone saw the light in you
As I lurked in the shadows
Everyone gave up on us
But not you
You believed in our fairytale
Everyone saw a ghost in me
As did you
I was soon too fade away

In a world She lives
Living like a bird Set free
She walks on hope
Emotions running through her eyes
Love, closure all She seeks
Words scarce to define her
Different in a Beautiful way
The way I admire her
She told me to write
I want it to be special
She's perfect & I want her smiling always
She will want to **** me after this cos its not a poem but words scrabbled in my head, mind, body and soul
With Time I'll write a perfect one
The one that will make your cheeks red

Heart
I broke a heart
That was once mine
It hurts knowing am not the one bleeding
Young & stupid I was
I took away what I had cherished
Now am perished
In my own tears, drowning away
Hoping for some sanity
From the perfect start to a perilous end
How did she feel?
If I felt like this
Collecting pictures from what we used to be & what we became...
The lovers that went
Apologetic I am until my last breathe
I broke my heart
The part that beats for you
I broke a heart
The one I will always love.

Leave me out blind
I'll be dancing in the wind in time
Leave me out to love
I'll be on a bended knee
Stand with me on the aisle
With epic vows from your troublemaker
I want to be yours & you mine
I'll be your forever till we ghost

Leave me out blind
I'll follow your scent through the maze
All day, everyday
I'll draw you a smile
The one that fits your perfection
Through thick 'n' thin
We'll be scared together

Leave me out with a pen
I'll be with every version of dictionaries
To help define my love
But even words aren't enough
Beautiful!
A word never tire of saying
Just keep following the heartlines
It's your way home
To your Forever & Always.

A smile of fate
Courage! hope! Faith!!
The wind screams..
The walk of shame
The imbalance of fame
confused and thoughtless
Who I was & Who I had become
From the hero I was to the zero I had become...
All in the broken mirror
What I feel denies me the truth
Words carved, thoughts on thoughts
The evil one! Mind or Heart?
Alone in this, my battlecry
Opportunities with dead cravings
Depression, sadness my happiness of hope.. all in a balloon
The Johndoe everyone knows

I know its short
It might not be what you expected
You ordered for tall & handsome
Yet you got short & weird
This is unprecented too
I know words can't cut the deal
How can they?
Beautiful can't begin to come close
To what my eyes can see in you
I believe God rested on the seventh day
To see how impeccable you were
I love every little thing bout you
Down to the tiniest bit
If only I had a chance to love you outright,
But I don't, cos in my head
I could never have you
If only I could live in my fantasy
But thats where my chapter ends
Cos every time I try to move forward
Thats when my head is wide awake
To my very own reality.

The path i chose to find myself
I Got lost in my head
Feelings I Had in dark mask
Being a double agent I pondered
Deception in an applauded reception Over my rejection....
Hitting of drum, my heart feels the beat...
In a cirlce of hope
My bubbles burst in dismay
Now in a cross road, i pray to the heavens.....
To Find myself on the stars of a good path
Where i belong

At this point
I feel so much more
My emotions running wild
The echoes of my loneliness
Becomes a widespread karaoke

At this point
My feelings becomes vague
No clear tone to my emotions
The bass of the broken
Becomes a favourite to those who understands...

At this point
There's no point hiding in the shadows
Insomnia, depression, you name it
I know it all

At this point
I'm damaged
And this is my mayday signal.

Heartbeat moving away
Pounding fast like a mayday signal the stereotype of love..
Show me how to fight this..
The mirror of the enchanted
Our fairytale dreams like 'happy ever after'....

Love intertwined with souls
Spirits dance in silence like 'ssh' in love conquers all...
The shyness choke just to spill out the 'The three words'
Love still breed
Joy nor date nor age no need
In this delight my mind move
To live with thee
Be thy Love

Set me free
I wanna meet the world
Like a bird set free
To be human the best I can
To feel pain
To feel Love
All the lessons Life has to offer
All my Life have asked Life.. How my Life would be..
If I had met the world differently

{Based on true events}

There was a war
An intense battle
My friend was fighting
She always felt an excruciating pain
And she smiled a lot to cover it up
I know this cos we've been friends since childhood
We practically became one
My very own person
Sometimes she felt like giving up
But I wouldn't let her
So I decided to fight with her
The only way I could have
By being the most annoying person she could've ever loved
I showed up, "Always"
At least for a while I think I made her forget bout it all
A truce would be made during those hours
For she was at peace
On a good Friday
She told me she wanted to dance
And I was like "hell no, you don't know how to dance anything"
She laughed.
I whipped out my phone played "Mirrors by JT"
May I have this dance mi'lady?
We both laughed.
Slow dancing our way through the moment
"I don't wanna lose you now
I'm looking right at the other half of me" ♬♬
She started crying
Emotional hazard like me, I started crying too
Then wey hugged like we'd never before
Then we kissed
For the first time
I kissed my best friend
And also for the last time
For there was a war inside her that was made of her.

R Reality dreams
A Adventures it brings in colored paintings
I Intertwined with affections
N Not without a lil suspense
B Beyond our wildest imagination
O Our world's star - dotted
W Weird moments we live for...

Hello
A word I couldn't utter
When our hazel eyes first met
Right there...
Just right there
I watched u secretly
I knew..
U'd be my "miracle from heaven"
Just right there,
As beauty grows
Urs grew with perfection
You became my Muse.

Hello again
Is it alright knowing you?
Cos knowing u brings ecstasy
"Love to a bestfriend"
A tale of epic moments
Chapters upon chapters
A never ending tale

Hello there beautiful
Am thinking of our days of troubles
The planned "pillow fights"
And the picture perfect smile u'd give while reading.....
We are yet to dream the dream we dreamt
But we take it as it comes
The pain
Happiness
Joy
Being wild ones together
We survive.

Hello there gorgeous
It's the last but not the least ☺
This part tells you how much i adore you
How i jump inside when i hear your voice
You became perfection to me

All I ask
Is to run through the River Lea
To be your melodious Remedy
In search of your heart, so we could be rolling into deep...
The water under the bridge has to be our starting point..
Pouring our sadness into Skyfall
So we could Love in the dark
But we were scared of Hello
O! My  Sweetest devotion
Send my love to your new lover, was our Hometown glory...
Never mind I'll find Someone like you
All I wanted was to Make you feel my love..
But my One and only got away
I miss you but that's a Million years ago
With Benediction Rumour has it
Love was Tired
It ended has we Set fire to the rain
When we were young

I don't know if my pen would say the truth
I would be lying if I said I was too
Honestly, my heart has been slow to booth
A lifetime of cupid's has seen me through
Arrows aloft have passed through me
Do not try to pour out those fizzled words
Screaming "I wanna know what love is"
Do not ignore the warning signs
Please do not trespass
A lifetime of hurt would be your teacher
Pin your heart desires to the public library
Let them learn of heartbreak & the pain of it all

For some minutes i searched for a pen
In those minutes my mind was filled
Wanting to write out my feelings
Now with a pen and a paper
Loneliness drags me farther away
I hold in great anticipation but i felt empty
In those minutes my mind was blank
Memories fading
Loneliness greatest deception

You love him
You felt butterflies whenever
He was weird and all, "you thought"
But you still loved him
He was your dose of ecstasy
All seemed like a fairytale
Until his face didn't show care
He was getting complicated to understand
You stayed still
Waiting patiently on the sidelines
Until he was no longer..
He became a ghost in his shell
Yet deep down you loved him as a ghost
You couldn't still see through his heart
He finally became a ghost
Seeking life again
But you needed fresh air
So you let him go
But as your heart beats
You will always love him

Its been days since i heard from you
The Last i saw was ur hair from the queue..
Your heart grew so big to be my muse
All these words in search of a clue
My nursery rhymes fails me
All I wanted was to be with thee
I wander the street at last
To be Free from the choices have made  "cest la ve"
To break Free from self destruction
To make way for whats to come
That who i Had became will define who i Had become....