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 Oct 2017 Alice
Middy
You can't take it
You can't live with it
The pain is too much
The kids at school
They keep hurting you
Or maybe it was your father
Maybe your mother
Maybe they're both dead
Like how you will be soon
Maybe you're in love with abusers
Maybe you are simply sad
But either way
You can't take it anymore

You take a rope from the attic
You grab a gun from the cuboard
You steal a knife from the kitchen
You're at the bridge over the river
You're on a railway with a train
Wherever you are
Whatever you have
It doesn't matter now

You take a rope from the attic
The kids at school
They taunt you and laugh
They say they wish you were dead
Well their wish is coming true
You're suffocating
You're silent
You're gone

You grab a gun from the cuboard
Safety is off
You're in your room
You whisper a goodbye
To the father who hurt you
To the brother who loves you
BANG
The shot can be heard for miles
You're gone

You steal a knife from the kitchen
Your mother's prying eyes
Who breaks your heart
With hateful words
You're in your bathroom
You hold the knife to your wrist
Your lifeline is bleeding out
The blood is on the white floor
You're gone

You're on a bridge
There's a cold and fast flowing
River of tears and sorrow
Your mother is gone
Your father is gone
Time for you to go
You leave your other family
Who are grieving with you
You jump
You fall
You're gone

You're at a railway with a train
Ready to hit you with pain
It wouldn't be the driver's fault
It was the abuser
You thought loved you
But you were wrong
You are hit by the train
It stops with your broken heart
You're gone

Where is the rope burn?
It burns your parents
They weep and wail
They lost their child
They're sunk into a sea of sadness
They read the note
They beg dear god above
" why were we not enough? "

Who did you shoot?
Your brother's chest
He's staring silently
At his sibling's dead body
As he stutters and sobs
He wonders
" why was I not enough? "

Who was stabbed?
Why your sister
She doesn't know who to talk to
She doesn't know who can help
As she screams for the neighbors
As your heartbeat stops
" why was I not enough? "

Who drowned?
The family you left behind
Your uncle is silent
Your aunt is shocked
Your cousins, your grandparents
They cant believe it
" why were we not enough? "

Where is the wound?
It bleeds in your friends' hearts
No matter how many you have
Or rather had
They can't stop crying
They can't stop thinking
" why were we not enough? "

Your name is in the papers
You're on the front covers
The world is full of tears
The news reporter is upset
There's a book with your name
There's ****** roses on your grave
Marked with your name

You stop
You think
You put away the rope
You put the gun back
You replace the knife
You walk away from the bridge
You run off the railway
You hide your tears in the rain
But you think
Think, think.
Maybe you can live one more day
Or two days, three days,
Four days, five days, six days
A week or two
A month or more
A year or so
Maybe forever
You won't take away the pain by killing yourself. All you'll do is pass it on
People care, I promise they do.
If no one does, I do.
Having Depression is like finding out that mermaids are real
It doesn’t make sense to you until you’re getting dragged to the bottom of the ocean
And then you think
Oh
That’s what this is
And I’m drowning now,
That’s just……… great
And eventually, with your last vestiges of breath left
You float back to the surface
And you’re fine.
And that’s it.
Mermaids stop existing again.
Because you never actually saw what grabbed you
You only felt the claws around your leg
The cold, clammy hands tugging
With a force that you could never fight against
But you never saw her
So it was all a dream
Right?
And it happens again and again
You are drowning again and again
Until the water begins to feel like home
And the only thing reminding you that you are alive
Is the burning in your lungs
And when everything you had balanced so very carefully starts falling
Off the shelves of your life
When your “mild” depression starts deciding it wants to be more
When being alone makes you feel dead inside
And when losing your cool for one ******* second makes you contemplate your own demise
When do you admit to yourself that you are slipping
You are sinking and just because you can slow your descent
Does not mean that you’re not still drowning
And at the end of the day just because it took you longer to get there this time
Doesn’t mean you aren’t still lying on the ocean floor
Devoid of light and sound
And if you had just climbed onto that now distant boat and sailed away
You’d be fine.
But climbing was too hard
And sinking is so much easier
And you’re scared that if you reach out
Your hands will feel clammy and cold
As they wrap around your friends throats
And drag them down with you
And you would rather rot at the bottom of an endless sea
Than let that happen
So you lie in darkness and wait
For a sound
The singular resounding sound
Of failure
And you slowly float back to the surface
Take a deep breath
And you’re fine.
Because mermaids aren’t real
It’s all in your head
This is normally performed aloud, but I wanted to share it with you all, as well
 Sep 2017 Alice
Hunter
You.
 Sep 2017 Alice
Hunter
You love me
You hate me
You kiss me
You break me
You hold me
You push me
You miss me
You forgot me
You fix me
You left me
You haunt me
You cure me
You forgive me?
I forgive you.
 Sep 2017 Alice
Crestfall
Choice
 Sep 2017 Alice
Crestfall
One would like to think we have a choice,
Of what to do with this time we're given,
Hoping that thoughts we can voice,
Praying that by our gods we can be forgiven.

But choice is a two-headed serpent,
Cold as ice,
Fake as the paper money we've spent,
Frivolous as I when playing with gambling dice.

Drawing you in with empty hope,
Only to spit you back out for the wrong selection,
You're falling down a steep *****,
In a world in which you lack protection.

When you are about to draw the card from Janus' hand,
Reminded of what comes ahead,
Be sure your move is planned,
Lest you wind up dead.
©Crestfall
 Sep 2017 Alice
skyler
lies of love
 Sep 2017 Alice
skyler
i see nothing in myself
but empty eyes
and a broken shell
so when you say you love me
i think impossible
there's just no way in hell
 Sep 2017 Alice
helena alexis
friends are like coins
they have two faces

some are shiny
some are dull
some are valuable
some are worthless

people collect them
people lose them

I've lost all my coins

- lost coins
I have no friends right now bc all of them are fake as hell
 Sep 2017 Alice
karin naude
My greatest fear
Loving a wrong somebody
Loving for the wrong reason
Being controlled
Forced to bend to others whim
Loosing my identity
Uprooted independence
Being not good enough
Being used and mislead
Being left broken and abandoned

Having to walk a difficult road of recovery
No one can recover from a love like this
Wrong or misleading
Right or true
Its deep to the inside of my bones
How will i recover from broken bones
The heart has no bones
No visitors
No get well soon
Nothing
Only silence
Broken by tear drops
Only on inside
 May 2017 Alice
Waldo
When your soul dies,
When a mother cries,
When the law denies
Your right to be free.
You know that you're trapped
In a twisted reality.

When children are bombed,
Yet you're told to remain calm
'Cause the justifications are psalms.
Then you know the world's in the palm
Of the hand of a madman.
Or rather a group of men and women
With diabolical plans.

When your leaders are your enemies,
Families in control for centuries
Yet we still don't know their identities
As they pray to demonic entities?
Then you know it's all insanity
And you're in a dark reality.

When the law makers break the law,
When the carnage leaves you in awe,
When kids slit wrists until they're raw,
And  patriots become outlaws.
Then I know I've reached the decline
Of this "Great" country of mine

What has humanity been worth?
Not just the country also the Earth,
Was doomed to destruction from its birth.
Because of a parasite so evil,  
With thought processes so medieval.

But as a wise man once taught me,
I cannot hate all humanity
For we are kept down on our knees
By the self-interested nature of you and me
 Apr 2017 Alice
Ryan Holden
Dove
 Apr 2017 Alice
Ryan Holden
My heart is free
Like a white dove,
But why is it that,
I'm all out of love?
Just a quick lil write :)
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