I should be happy.

I woke up alive and well,
I should be happy.

I have new books to read,
I should be happy.

I have 490 songs on my iPod,
I should be happy.

I have good grades in school,
I should be happy.

I have friends who I can talk to and fangirl with,
I should be happy.

I'm young, I have my whole life ahead of me,
I should be happy.

I should be happy,
I'm not happy.

(a.d)

Tossing and turning
Heavy breathing,
Tears of frustration.

Screaming at my brain
To dismiss, erase, forget
All memories of you.

But it rebels
Like a stubborn teenager
It eyes me
In a huff, says,
"No!"
And proceeds to
Replay
Those moments
Over and over again.

My exasperation
Soon turns into
Sadness, despair, misery
Knowing that
It's all gone.

Forgetting you
Why can't it be easy?
Like how dried leaves
Are swept by the breeze
Into the river
And float away to
The point of no return.

Feeding myself
Thoughts of how
It's hopeless
Just doesn't work.

Forgot his face
Forget his name
Forgot his kiss
Forget his warm embrace.

Forget the way he smiled
Forget the way he talked
Forget the sound of his voice
Forget the way he walked.

Forget the way he made you laugh
Forget the comfort you felt
Forget the way he said "I love you"
Remember he's with her tonight.

I'm crazy today.
I'm crazy in a way that nobody compares to him
and I'm wasting my time on these men
because even though he was bad
he was still good
in ways that I loved;
not with how he treated me,
just in who he was.
and it's dumb because these new men are good
but not good enough
to help me forget.

It still hurts..
How do you forget
the thing that crushed your heart?
The pain is still there,
haunting me.
It goes away,
but it always come back.

and it still hurts the same way it hurt before

I want to forget
That you even existed,
But know what I learned.

If I end up
Killing myself
Please oh please
Forget me
I went through the trouble
Of killing myself to forget you.
At least return the favor.