we all must exist,
for a reason.
We all must have something to do,
in our lives.
We all must be the best,
we can be.
Otherwise,
we'd just exist,
and float through our lives,
watching life
flow right out the window.
And we'd just slowly waste away,
and our existence,
would have meant,
nothing.

I've once said failure was kind
It teaches you lessons in the end.
But sometimes the suffering
you have to endure
is absolutely meaningless.
It seems naive to me to believe
that failure is kind
and that pain builds character
without believing the opposite
to be true as well.
Failure is mean
and pain can break you down.
I've lived my whole life so far
thinking that there had to be
a reason for all of this.
And sometimes,
there isn't a reason.
It just *****.
So failure is kind and mean
pain builds character and destroys it
and I can accept that
My sadness is real
and tangible
even though its reason
may not be.

Pale brown eyes
wander around,
with a slight daze,
watching everything around them.
Their gaze swept over a girl,
that I was standing next to,
then those eyes lingered on me,
unnerving me,
scaring me.
I didnt trust those eyes.
The girl and I left,
and I ran to my friend,
he was horrified,
I have never seen his blue eyes
Alight with so much anger.
A protective arm came around me,
he glared those pale brown eyes down,
until they faded,
down the road,
and around the corner.
We ran,
never had I run faster,
those pale brown eyes
were filled with chaotic,
malicious, intent,
and my gut was screaming
to get help,
and run,
just leave this place,
and never return.
I felt those eyes watch me,
as I ran with my friends
down the road,
through the woods,
back to my friends house.
His blue eyes were angry,
with just a hint of fear.
Fear for me,
and the girl,
fear that those pale brown eyes,
would find,
and hurt us.
And seeing that,
I breathed a sigh of relief,
because right now,
that means I am safe.

Everyday he used his tools
to work on a fence.
He hammered and sawed
and hoped to God
that he would not cause offense.
To his neighbors,
to his friends,
he just could not let them see
how much he had let his yard
become overrun with weeds.

His heart was too weak
to deal with the stares
of people who said they cared.
So he built a fence
that was ten feet high
around his yard
around his mind.

He hammered in that last nail
to the beat of his pounding heart.
As the clouds gathered overhead
and he realized that it was getting dark.
He pushed himself up hastily
but he tripped over his own feet.
His hands covered in splinters
while he felt his heart shatter
he dropped to the ground
ignoring the clatter
of the wood and the nails
that flew from his hands.
His crippled heart skipped a beat.

The rain started to fall
and he forced himself to his feet.
He sprinted into his home
as his splintered heart hammered
in his shaking chest.
He sat down on his couch
forgetting his tools outside
and the whole mess.

Weeks then months then years passed by
and people who wandered the streets.
Saw a fence that went up one night
start to decay before their very eyes.
...
"What happened to the man who lived in that house?"
"I know the answer."
"You do?"
"*I do."

It's over,
Well almost over.
Bug-a-boo is safe,
We have full custody.
It's a huge weight,
That's been taken off my shoulders,
But im still worried,
About my niece.
I don't know if we will ever,
Gain custody of her as well.
But I guess you have to win the battles,
Before you win the war,
and were closer than ever,
To making these kid's lives,
Better.

Flowing down the river of attention,
a young boy cries.
Begging for a home.
Screaming for help.

Soaring on the wind that is greedy,
an old man lies.
He's so charismatic.
Scamming every life.

Falling from the skies of beauty,
a woman races.
She has deadly speed.
The impact is coming.

Floating in the ocean that is empty,
is a mind that can no longer think.
It can not connect.
It can not find its self.

Living on the ground that is wary,
is a now tired teenage boy.
He looks tough, he's weathered the pain.
But he is not okay.

Some went West
and others went East.
The ones in between
found they liked South the least.

The traitorous winds
carried news from the mouth
of a stranger who wandered
the dreaded South.

They said:

"Glory and war in the West.
Peace and sacrifice in the East.
The North holds freedoms and complex rules.
The South has no time for such duels."

Those of the West,
those of the East,
and the Northern inbetweeners
listened with incredulity.

But the Southerner just repeats:

"Glory and war in the West.
Peace and sacrifice in the East.
The North holds freedoms and complex rules.
The South has no time for such duels."

"If we fight not for glory,
then why fight at all?
War is a necessary evil!"
Those Westerners say, how uncivil.

"Peace cannot yield
without sacrifice.
Someone always has to lose their life!"
Easterners cry full of strife.

"Freedoms are protected
if you follow the rules.
Speech must be regulated, calm, and cool."
Said from those under Northern rule.

But the Southerner repeats like a record loop:

"Glory and war in the West.
Peace and sacrifice in the East.
The North holds freedoms and complex rules.
The South has no time for such duels."

Then the wind finally stopped
spreading its message.
But the lofty seeds that traveled with the wind,
planted themselves in places they've never been.

And they started to grow into something more.
Freedoms and rules.
Peace and sacrifice.
Glory and War.

By forces unseen
I take one step forward,
then another,
and another,
one more.
My eyes close and i'm floating.
Up I go,
into the soft white clouds.
I float indefinitely,
hoping these unseen forces
keep my head in the clouds.
Because right now,
the ground is a scary place.

Forget
Everything
And
Run.

Let fear take control of your emotions.

Forget
Everyone
And
Run.

Let fear make you blind to others.

Forever
Escape
A
Reality.

Let fear make you escape from Reality.

Forgive
Everything
And
Reach.

Forget fear, reach out for help.

Fly
Everywhere
And
Rise.

Fear can't control you, you can rise from it.

But yet,
you could still,
Forget
Everything
And
Run.

How silly is the little flower
to think that it has such a large impact
on anyone's life.
It's as if it says
"I know I am just a flower
and it's well past the hour
but you picked me from the rest
so I must be the best.
So when I leave,
don't forget me please."

But it's just a little flower
that was chosen for no other reason
than to bring a little bit of happiness.
Yet the flower still speaks,
"I don't understand what you understand
but I know that I am not anything grand.
But it was me that you chose.
You watered me with the hose
and I have grown to be old
but now everything I feel is cold."

Poor little flower,
how long have you been here?
Shivering and shriviling.
But bless your soul you still speak.
"I know some time has passed
since I saw you last.
But I remember your sad smile
and how you had to sit down for awhile.
Your thin white hair has become flat
and I no longer see you sit where you sat."

That small, old flower,
drooped one last time.
With one last sigh
the flower picker spoke.
"I'm sorry little flower
it is well past my hour
and you're as thin as my hair
that has become so brittle without care.
But don't you worry
he is coming in a hurry
and I will not forget you
if you will forget-me-not, too."

Long ago, Moon reigned alone and empty
born of the Gods Sky and Sea.
The world was painted with a pale light,
that came from Moon's own might.

"Hello, I don't believe we have met before?"
    "Call me Heat."
"I am Light."

A meeting destined in the heavens above,
inspiring Heat and Light to love.
For Moon had grown sickly all night,
as she never had time to rest from her plight.

"What shall we call it?"
    "The yellow light that we lit?"
"Yes. It's like a disc. A shining disc."

Light circled Heat like a shield.
Blinding those who do not yield
with their interest or attempts to charm
Heat away from Light's arms.

"Perhaps we shall call it Light?"
    "No, we shall call it Bright!"
"Please, we cannot fight."

This world moves forward even as time stands still.
Heat takes Light's hand with great thrill.
A movement not so grand,
yet it's worth more than the price of this land.

"Feel the warmth of his heat!"
    "He climbs the sky with no fear of defeat!"
"Moon can finally rest her weary feet."

The pair watched with great pride
in the sky, their child no longer hides.
Look at him! He soars! He flies!
Bringing heat and light to the lands beneath the skies.

"My child, formed from Heat and Light"
    "Please do not feel any fright."
"My child, vow to keep balance with the night"
    "An eternal dance with Moon so bright."
"And remember above all else,"
    "That when the dark arrives,"
"know that Moon will maintain hope and life."
    "Maintain life and hope, my Son."

.................................................................­...............................
If there is somebody listening, please let me know,
so I can shield my thoughts so you don't get lost.
It's a twisting, weaving, nightmarish maze in my head.
Don't listen so closely, you won't like what is said.

If I drive into this pole I would-
DIE yeah I know that brain thanks for-
PLAYING with his heart! She's playing-
GAMES which game? What do-
YOU want to know? How much wood-
WOULD anyone care if I jumped off a cliff-
RATHER than learning how to fly, I just-
AVOID the treacherous oceans of my-
MIND the gap, mind the gap, mind-
THE best of times, it was the worst of-
TIMES, divide, subtract-
ADD a face to a name and see its-
LIES that stab me like swords and I-
CRY from happiness, the world is okay.

If there is somebody listening, please let me know,
so I can shield my thoughts so you don't get lost.
It's a twisting, weaving, nightmarish maze in my head.
Don't listen so closely, you won't like what is said.
..........................................................­......................................

My head
is turning
my mind
is swirling
my eyes
can't take
this sight
before me
adrenaline is
rushing through
my body
fueling my
jerking movements
and my
cracking voice
as I
scream to
the world
and roll
on my
soft bed
I find
no comfort
from this
instead i'm
losing my
strong mind
in a
long battle
that lasted
for only
an hour
but yet
it felt
like years
I am
freaking out
over nothing
in particular
and I
can not
explain why
but I
have this
awful feeling
and now
i'm just
stuck in
this strange
chaotic world
where I
can't seem
to find
peace.

Bang*
One solitary shot
fired close to the highway,
i'm tempted to look out my window.
It was isolated,
so I can go check.
But the next sounds stop me.
Nine shots.
Nine quickly fired shots.
I couldn't sleep after that.
I paced.
My town is a good town,
there aren't any serious crimes,
there are never gun shots at dawn.
I like to see dawn sometimes,
especially on my sleepless nights.
But those gunshots.
They ruined the illusion of peace
that I feel when the sun rises.

I will never forget the people
on the other side of the screen.
Their names stay in my head
whenever I write.
Because I always think of how
they're a person too.

Hello love, that I don't love,
people just seem to fall for you
so very easily
and I'm left watching, wondering,
why people love to fall so much.
This is insanity, love.
Absolute craziness.
I don't love you, love
and you don't love me.
Yet you show me what you can do
to everyone else in this world,
and I'm just watching.
Romantic love? No, I don't love you.
I can't even feel you.
I can't even feel you.
I can't even feel you.

Hello sadness,
that comes and flows
like dark waters
full of rip tides.

I'm worlds away
drowning in the waters,
that are deep and churning,
i'm struggling to come back up.

I see the light that is the surface,
the only thing that keeps me swimming,
instead of sinking to the bottom,
like a rock.

A rock that has been carelessly thrown into the water,
never looked at,
never discovering the crystals within,
for they wouldn't rub away the dirt.

It's the light that's inside that pushes me upwards,
it prevents me from drowning.
It's the light on the surface that is my goal.
It's the light that gives me hope.

And hope makes me float.

I break free of the waters that held me back
and I want to join the light
as it dances on the surface,
asking me to dance with it.

Now I dance above the waters
that wanted to drown me.
But they are still there,
never leaving.

The waters won't leave me,
they're just waiting for me
to fall into their grip.
Their cold, tight grip.

But to me, it's okay.

For if there is one thing I learned,
is that if there is light dancing above the water,
I should swim upwards,
and join it.

For hope will always keep me afloat,
*even in the darkest waters.

I see you've made another enemy,
but this time it is different.
Isn't it?
You're battling for relevancy.
Maybe this time they'll stick around
They'll be the needle that you need.
The drug for your veins' vanity,
addicted to each other's greed.
You crave each other's attention,
wanting that toxicity,
that makes you so well-known.
The drama for your soul.
Because peace can't exist without war,
so keep chasing them you fame *****.
Making your own enemies!
Fighting battles in the streets!

Do you know what it means
to be addicted to these scenes?
Where the world is in danger
and you need to control your anger.
Can you feel it in your veins
when they appear into frame?
Are you chasing them for your fame
so you won't be lame?
Your talent means nothing,
if you can't use it.
And if there's nothing to fight against
then you must create it.
Because peace can't exist without war
So keep chasing them you fame *****.
Making your own enemies!
Fighting battles in the streets!

A long, dark, winding road,
at night's darkest hour,
this was her safe haven,
it was her perfect flower.

Slowly, on tip toes,
she dances in the middle,
with intricate footsteps,
creating her own riddle.

This peaceful scene,
quickly turns rigid,
as lights fly down the road,
and the body goes limp, and frigid.

Her vision goes blurry,
and her heart goes still,
her perfect flower,
certainly can ****.

Lights fly along,
a long, dark, winding road,
and her story is shared,
so she never grows old.