morning glory
morning glory
3 days ago

“I wonder what it’s like to love you.” You say as we’re lying in my bed.

“I wouldn’t know,” I say, “I don’t think anybody ever has.”

And you give me a pitiful smile, the kind you always give when I
say something so negative about myself.

I guess I’m glad I’ve come to think of it as ‘commitment’ rather than ‘pity’.

I’ve let myself drown in you. I let myself become lost in your lifeless eyes

and I’m filled with regrets but I don’t regret a thing. Maybe I Regret Breathing.

You’ll let my ghost linger, just for awhile longer. You’ll let me be real to you.

And as I feel the smoothness of you silk black hair in my hands, I wonder

if I’ve ever really loved you or if I just loved how in love we could have been. The agony of loving you won't let me die.

i miss you always, daffodil.
#love   #heartbreak   #sad   #regret   #death   #winter   #flower   #pity   #spring   #despair  
7 days ago

i want to take a vacuum to my soul to rid myself of you
you're in my nooks and crannies
hiding from my efforts
no matter how hard i work you'll still be there
constantly driving my compulsive mind to the edge
maybe i don't want to vacuum you all the way gone but i want to rid myself of the pain i feel when you are not here
i can't decide whats worse
the pain when you're gone or the pain i feel when you are here
i'm so needy
i'm so clingy
cut me off so i can heal myself in pity and self loathing
release me from your grip that you didn't even know you had on me

#love   #pain   #hurt   #pity   #missing   #release  

I can't wait until I kill myself so everyone can pretend they care.

Fuck you Monica
#suicide   #depression   #anger   #hate   #death   #pathetic   #pity   #suicidal   #pitiful  
Mar 14

No one want me in their life
They think that im just a poor girl who want to balance her life with some money and popularity
But im not
I just need everyone now, in my life, by my side
I deserved that!
But no one think like i do
That's hurt me a lot, and now im trying to think like they think.

Im just a pity girl
Pity girl who want everyone in her life
Pity girl that think everyone like her
A pity girl who always got fake people showing fake love to her.

That last sentences in this poem got inspired by drake's song called fake love. And i like that song so much.
#sad   #lonely   #girl   #alone   #pity  

We are born pure but
End up living in a
World full of sin
Someone please help us
Understand our place
Among these different races of
People try to avoid the hate or
It may seal your fate..

It's a pity she's not a whore,
I could have slagged her off, saying she's useless,
and it would have made me feel better, prouder,
it would have proved that I was right and she was wrong,
and that I - as a man - better know.

It would have made my life simpler, and all men
would have been celebrated her fall,
slurring her, satisfied, that they have not gone as bad
as her.

It's a pity she's not a whore. She said no
to me, to all of us. Her one refuse
turned us into dirty animals,

With one word, she turned us into - whores.

#man   #whore   #pity   #sex   #woman   #no  

The diligence of the mask,
cast over
grief and self pity.
Surrounded by peers
of the same committe.
Pain glistens in the eyes,
home to dark bags that gaze
at the end of the bottle.
We put ourselves in full throttle.
We take our hats off to tomorrow,
and intake clouds into our chest.
No need for rest.
As we decide to sit side by side,
Sky high.
Where we can lie,
and hide
the grief we have built up inside.
For our former selves,
that we've thrown aside.

There's a time where many people cope with situations in life through masking the pain with substances. Those people find other people who are hurting and doing the same thing. It's hard to get out of that funk even when you just miss and crave the person you once we're. Who was without pain
#self   #alcohol   #drugs   #abuse   #pity   #grief   #coping   #insecurity   #unhappiness   #subtance  

by Arcassin Burnham

If trust is highly cautious nowadays then i should really stop the act,
if fake is fake and real is real then please don't let the opposites attract,
people wanting more than friends that care about themselves and then turn their backs,
but i just need a friend that would be as loyal as the hump on a camels back,
so why don't you just,
spare me the pity and,
fall out the back door with,
too many colors of,
your true intentions its,
not my fault that i'm just,
one of the good ones yes,
one of the true ones yes,
one of the loyal ones yes...

but from you i need more assurance yes,

Dealt with more fake people than the great wall had intruders that attacked,
In these days i'd rather be alone in this room writing all a bunch of facts,
To a man that has no reputation piercing through the traffic for a crash,
to have a friend would be delightful but people always leave and never come back,
so why don't you just,
spare me the pity and,
fall out the back door with,
too many colors of,
your true intentions its,
not my fault that i'm just,
one of the good ones yes,
one of the true ones yes,
one of the loyal ones yes...

but from you i need more assurance yes.

#words   #fake   #true   #real   #pity   #human   #men   #women   #loyalty   #writings  
Feb 7

My father left before I was ripe yet and so I tumbled to the Earth to rot, to be eaten by the wild things that, somehow, I could not see before. And even though the passerby saw me there in the dirt and declared I still had worth, I still had value, I rejected their appraisal as false. As a young girl I felt the indifference swell inside my throat until I could no longer swallow back my bitterness. I took pity on myself and reluctantly cried. I mourned a loss that wasn’t a loss, but a gain. If only I would open my eyes, maybe I would have seen it. I let the world chisel chunks of me away when I should not have broken.

And like a tsunami mercilessly swallows up cities, I let my anger drown me.

When I finally realized I could have been, should have been, stronger, I was too ashamed to admit to all the time wasted. I blamed everyone but myself, refusing to be at fault. When I lay down at night I saw all the things that could have been and I let them haunt me until daybreak became a comfort.

Sleep wrapped its fingers against my throat and said, “I will never love you”.

I crawled deeper into myself, cowering behind capsules filled with what was supposed to be my redemption. Redemption that if I prayed hard enough, wanted hard enough, went to therapy four times a week, and took it as prescribed, could be mine. So I overdosed on my dreams, thinking, this will fix me. This will fix me. Only I was not broken until I believed I could be whole.

So they waved red flags in my eyes and demanded I wake up, wake up, WAKE UP!

Sleepwalking is easy when you feel you have nothing to live for. With every rotation we made around the sun, I began excusing myself more and more from life. I gravitated toward isolation and called it strength. Alone, I declined. I attracted the sort of company that prolongs suffering.

I fed off of their ability to perpetuate my worst feelings and called it home.

And then, when the water rose up, when the damn broke, when I thought all I would ever have in life was gross disappointment, I found myself without hope. I did not ponder the decision of death. I lept at the opportunity like a starved dog, teeth barred, hair wild. I knew, I knew deep in my heart that… God is ugly and as I dug my nails into the dirt, eighteen stitches in my wrist, broken, bandaged, bloody, I knew. I knew I was rotten. I knew I was bruised. I knew I was filthy.

and yet,
in these imperfections,
I found worth.

#suicide   #feelings   #sad   #depression   #alone   #hope   #lost   #pity  
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