Arcassin B
Arcassin B
4 days ago

by Arcassin Burnham

If trust is highly cautious nowadays then i should really stop the act,
if fake is fake and real is real then please don't let the opposites attract,
people wanting more than friends that care about themselves and then turn their backs,
but i just need a friend that would be as loyal as the hump on a camels back,
so why don't you just,
spare me the pity and,
fall out the back door with,
too many colors of,
your true intentions its,
not my fault that i'm just,
one of the good ones yes,
one of the true ones yes,
one of the loyal ones yes...

but from you i need more assurance yes,

Dealt with more fake people than the great wall had intruders that attacked,
In these days i'd rather be alone in this room writing all a bunch of facts,
To a man that has no reputation piercing through the traffic for a crash,
to have a friend would be delightful but people always leave and never come back,
so why don't you just,
spare me the pity and,
fall out the back door with,
too many colors of,
your true intentions its,
not my fault that i'm just,
one of the good ones yes,
one of the true ones yes,
one of the loyal ones yes...

but from you i need more assurance yes.

#words   #fake   #true   #real   #pity   #human   #men   #women   #loyalty   #writings  
Feb 7

My father left before I was ripe yet and so I tumbled to the Earth to rot, to be eaten by the wild things that, somehow, I could not see before. And even though the passerby saw me there in the dirt and declared I still had worth, I still had value, I rejected their appraisal as false. As a young girl I felt the indifference swell inside my throat until I could no longer swallow back my bitterness. I took pity on myself and reluctantly cried. I mourned a loss that wasn’t a loss, but a gain. If only I would open my eyes, maybe I would have seen it. I let the world chisel chunks of me away when I should not have broken.

And like a tsunami mercilessly swallows up cities, I let my anger drown me.

When I finally realized I could have been, should have been, stronger, I was too ashamed to admit to all the time wasted. I blamed everyone but myself, refusing to be at fault. When I lay down at night I saw all the things that could have been and I let them haunt me until daybreak became a comfort.

Sleep wrapped its fingers against my throat and said, “I will never love you”.

I crawled deeper into myself, cowering behind capsules filled with what was supposed to be my redemption. Redemption that if I prayed hard enough, wanted hard enough, went to therapy four times a week, and took it as prescribed, could be mine. So I overdosed on my dreams, thinking, this will fix me. This will fix me. Only I was not broken until I believed I could be whole.

So they waved red flags in my eyes and demanded I wake up, wake up, WAKE UP!

Sleepwalking is easy when you feel you have nothing to live for. With every rotation we made around the sun, I began excusing myself more and more from life. I gravitated toward isolation and called it strength. Alone, I declined. I attracted the sort of company that prolongs suffering.

I fed off of their ability to perpetuate my worst feelings and called it home.

And then, when the water rose up, when the damn broke, when I thought all I would ever have in life was gross disappointment, I found myself without hope. I did not ponder the decision of death. I lept at the opportunity like a starved dog, teeth barred, hair wild. I knew, I knew deep in my heart that… God is ugly and as I dug my nails into the dirt, eighteen stitches in my wrist, broken, bandaged, bloody, I knew. I knew I was rotten. I knew I was bruised. I knew I was filthy.

and yet,
in these imperfections,
I found worth.

#suicide   #feelings   #sad   #depression   #alone   #hope   #lost   #pity  

You wreck yourself
Just for the pleasure
Nothing to moan about
And you feel down.

Picking your scabs
Pick your enemies
Something to complain,
Given sunshine or rain.

Wallow in your joy
Swallow in your pity
Got a new toy
A five minute ploy.

Nails and stigmata
It doesn't really matter
Reassuringly Depressed
To you it's just a minor misery.

#self   #pity   #celebrated  
Jan 30

Warring within the wind
Aped by a flush, you unveil a plash
Flaunting us a stygian, hazy gore
Left weaving a susurrus blether
With shards prodding your throat

#heart   #death   #end   #relationship   #pity   #flush   #stab   #asunder   #tether  

Damn the ringwraiths, dwarves, and all the men
Damn rangers, trolls, and the wretch of Saruman

To hell with goblins, dragons, and barrow wrights
To hell with balrogs, and the ever evil sprites

Murder all the spiders, wargs, and Ents
Slaughter all the Rohirrim, sleeping in their tents

Death to all the elves, hobbits, and kings
Death to everyone, and death to everything

Sauron's will departed, smashed upon the battlefield
Unable now to navigate, and nothing left to feel

My anger and hatred dry, as spitting out the desert dust
No reason and no why, spent, the last of my blood lust

My axe and shield are heavy now, as I roam the empty plain
No idea, of when or how, my war became in vain

(amended and updated version)
Remember that final battle scene?
Just trying to imagine an Orcish state of mind :D
#pity   #sarcasm   #orc   #loth  

I feel like someone just squeezed me alive!
The rain is now pelting down by my side.
Somehow I was let go from my job.
It's nothing personal I guess I'm a snob.
I feel as though my life is closing to an end.
There's no future here for me, my friend.
As an adult I pay my dues.
With no money in my account I am barren blues.
I kind of like a boy who I don't know very well.
These feelings inside me are making me swell.
Should I go hide or burry my face in the dirt.
Or is this a sign that when life really hurts
and the grey skies pour down
and the heavy clouds unburden
their sorrow there has to be meaning
in these wet tears to swallow.
It's kind of like a bittersweet revelation.
A complete failure or a filigree contemplation.
Somewhere deep inside, I weep.
In silent pity I lay to sleep.

Jan 15

Open your eyes, look around
Try to listen for a sound
Find the one who knows you best
Who'd love you much more than the rest

Know you truly, to your core
What your life on earth is for
Why you're still not lying dead
Upon a stone-cold, rocky bed

Who she is, you'll never know
A love within will never grow
Appreciate her, you can't do
But she tries to dearly still love you

You won't love her back, you deny
She seems to all, around you, shy
She always tries to make you smile
But you still let her flow down the Nile

So there she goes, she ends up far
You start looking for the North Star
You cannot find her, so you start to cry
You question yourself, you're asking "Why?"

You miss her, you yearn
And you start to burn
You need her by your side
You claim that you have died

Without her you are nothing
She is what makes you something
You start to hate yourself for it
You scream aloud, hate every bit

Alone you wonder, cold and lost
Through the desert, through the frost
You need to find her, apologise
You start to hate yourself - despise

Eventually you catch her scent
The time which you had, searching, spent
You claim was surely not a waste
But with poison was that aroma laced

You see her there, your smile is huge
You realise you were a scrooge
You start to race towards this girl
You see in her hair, every curl

Your heart is pounding, you face alight
You cannot believe she's in your sight
But as she starts to laugh, you see
Another guy makes her happy

You see now that you're such a dunce
The chance with her came only once
You screwed it up, and she ain't yours
But still you, in her, see no flaws

Your body freezes up, you're cold
You thought your actions had been bold
You realise you are a fool
That you had, to this girl, been cruel

You cannot move, you're rooted down
You see her look your way and frown
Then smiles a smile of great pity
She had once thought that you were witty

You cannot bear the sight, it hurts
You envy all of how this guy flirts
You loathe. You could have been there
With that girl - a beauty, rare...

inspired by Simrik's 'How to start writing poems'
Aliya N Raissa
Aliya N Raissa
Dec 27, 2016

I never loved September

It was always an ugly month for me
Somehow it's full of bad luck
And unpleasant things happened
There's no joy in that month

Summer ended
Relationships tore apart
Days full of bore
And silence is everywhere the air is

I hate it

Maybe i was cursed
Maybe the month hates me
So does the weather, the skies
And the leaves that fall from tree

Although, one thing did love me
A man from September
You know who you are
You know its about you

You know i was cursed
And yet you love me too

#love   #heartbreak   #hate   #break   #pity   #you   #me   #destruction   #september   #month  
Dec 25, 2016

Dear god, he's so sweet! Too sweet in fact.
I don't even have to be sultry, or bat my lashes with this one.
I knew I had him when I noticed his glance
As we passed each other earlier.

He's quick too! Of course, I get told all time how pretty I am,
But they ALL start to flush when I tell them that's not so.
He may be quick, but he's also too quick to hand out his trust.
I know better than to do that!

He so stiff sitting like that.
He'll relax the longer I lean into him.
So still.. Normally they get courageous by now.
Better be careful, I may start to like him.

I can tell he's enjoying the attention.
Seems like he's starving for it deep down
The way he talks so openly to me.

"I've only had two or three girlfriends."
"Two or three?"
"Well, I guess one month doesn't count as a relationship."
I don't find it hard to believe this kid.

"Better be careful," He says after a pause.
With genuine curiosity I look up at him
"I'm starting to like you."
Don't think I've met a more honest guy in my damn life!

I almost melted in satisfaction, and got ever more cozy in his arms
Right after giving him a hard kiss on the cheek -just in front of his ear.
That gave him the dumbest grin I think he ever had.
Or will ever have.

Feeling his chest breathe as I lay against it almost reminds me of…
He feels so strong too.. Just like..

Stop it! I'm not here to bring back stupid memories.
He may be sweet, but every guy's the same in the end.
They all wind up leaving more than marks
On your heart and on your face..

Finally pulled his arm over my shoulder- hand nearly on my breast
Just take the bait for god's sake!
This nice guy shit can only take you so far
Gonna need some action sooner than later.

Must have been two weeks since my last romp.
Fuck, I'm so hungry..
I wish he would just take me back to his place already..
I'm starting to get bored now.

What balls! Actually leaned in
And kissed me on my cheek
Maybe this isn't a bust after all.
"Sorry." Soon escaped his lips. - Bust.

He's too innocent. Shame.
What a fucking shame!
He could've absolutely taken me
Bent me over... anything! But.. (sigh)

He's still warm though.
I can sit here for a little longer.
But sadly, I'll be sleeping in a cold bed tonight.
Tomorrow may bring someone with more promise.

#broken   #anger   #lust   #hurt   #pity   #deceit   #hunger  
Dec 15, 2016

You're sorry you say?
Now have pity for me?
I laugh in your face
I know what I see
You've heard of my past
And now you feel bad
But you still used to judge
Used to make me feel sad
Don't come to me acting
Like your sympathies are true
You want to feel better... right?
I hope guilt consumes you

tired of everyone around me being fake... my female friends, cousins, grandparents, im so tired of everything
#lies   #evil   #demons   #forgiveness   #pity   #guilt   #monster   #laughter   #bully   #revenge  
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