I drive the screwdriver through my own heart and
Stuff the open wound with my fist and
Swaddle myself in threadbare cloth and
Get to work,
Gathering up the pins to
Try and stitch my skin back together again.

i have the terrible gift of foresight
seeing the future before it happens
the ability to bend time
when i look closely in the mirror

you know what they always say
'with great power, comes great responsibility'
but my power is destructive
i have already built ruins
before the foundation is laid

it is a terrible habit
sneaking glances at the ending
i would have gone blind
stopping everything from changing

hindsight offers no comfort
when i already know the end
i've seen it myself
because i played a hand in it

These little monsters
Follow me around.
I need to run,
Outrun them now.

They run miles,
But never slow down.
Living in my head
Until I am dead.

Shall they follow me
To the grave?
Six feet under,
But there they lay.

Would they
Still have life,
If I am to die?
Would they still speak whispers
Into my mind?

For they are infested
Into mine.

But what am I thinking?
My enemy is me.
I am unkind to myself,
Left my senses to flee.

They are just a small
Depiction of myself.

For I am not them,
Nor anyone else.

If I dare
To let go
I release
My control
And I can’t
Be here alone
With volatile
Sticks and stones.

If I dare
To be free
Then I’ll have
No more of me
Because shackles cold
And leashes gold
Are better than
The days of old.

If I had a dime for every instance
I self-sabotaged my own existence
I would be richer than Elon’s kids and
I would be shiny, and I would be drippin’
Something is missin’, you got my permission
To take a blade right to my wishin’

A self betrays
It dances through the maze
A sly saboteur within our core
Destroying dreams we once held dear

It whispers doubt, it fuels our fears
Tempting us with wasted years
A saboteur we cant evade
For in ourselves, its roots are laid

But hope still flickers, a steadfast flame
A chance to rise and break the chain
Embrace our flaws, learn to forgive
And self-sabotage, we shall outlive

i now cast to the shadows
(oh! i’ve really not grown)
for i now cast to the shadows
that which once shone
tender moments do rot
and whisper-words spoil
as i debase that which once freed me
good fortune recoils
maroon tinges my vision
self-treachery prowls
as i make the incision
with no hint of a howl
a jagged ***** you’ll find
reeling of love that fell flat
i did it; not you, r
dare not misconstrue that

Fear is a language all on its own.
Although broken, we understand soon
as we hear it.
No matter how well spoken
No matter how intuitive or savvy
We sabotage ourselves well after the
moment has passed.
I stepped outside of myself when I met
you.
Bilingual & open,
No matter how far you move or I.
I'll always remember you
I've memorized you in my heart
Where fear does not exist