Dizzy, dazed, and sedated,
Nightly rinse bleaching brains,
Slowly spinning me apart.
Roses flashing on screen, withered.

Worshiping at the Pantheon,
Novocaine for the brain.
My habitual easy friends.
Lust conquering love.

Lights go out!
Alone in the dark.
Guiltless shame,
I'll quit after tomorrow.

I let what you
thought about me,
and said about me,
matter more than what I
knew about me.
Way too intertwined with
your sickness and cruelty.
Far too beat down under your
brutal regime.
Nowadays, I wake up overjoyed that
I now live the obvious.
Who gives a **** what you think?

And so it comes-
all at once-
like a swarm of horseflies,
plump and ugly,
filling the space around
the air that I breathe.
They are persistent, quiet creatures-
all but a low hum of a noise-
stabbing and striking,
then, returning for me
once more.

They find me
wandering peacefully
alongside the riverbank
while fresh, clean air fills my lungs
and the warm sun glistens off
the whites of my beaming teeth.
But, these horseflies are poison
infecting me with the vile they hold.

And suddenly,
I am so crowded
I'm sure I'll suffocate by the air
they are swarming around in.
Then suddenly, I'm so sure that
the river will swallow me in an instant.
And I am sure to drown in it's waters-
my own body controlled by
where it's current takes me.
So sure- that the sun will go dark
and the warmth will but be all gone.
The tranquil of this riverbank
transforming into the remnants of
chaos and disaster.

Until, at last, I recall that this poison
is just that-
Poison.
It's all but a temporary illusion
by an infected reality.
For I still walk alongside the riverbank.
I can still feel the air in my lungs.
And the warmth of the sun still embraces me-
it's light still shimmering in my eyes
and on the whites of my beaming teeth.

You are swimming in the void
gasping for air, surrounded by utter darkness.
You stop swimming, and you begin to float.
Waves of hopelessness slowly take you to the shore of your heart;
now you must face your fears
and slay the monsters in your head.
I know you think you can’t do it
but I'm telling you, you can.

Depression is like being at war within yourself:
It is a mental battle, a hard one to fight
but not an impossible one,
for you have been made in the image of God
and with God, the battle is already won.

I know you feel like you’re alone
but God has been here all along
patiently waiting for you to put your trust in Him, and swim out of that black hole.
He alone has the power to help you carry on.
God is your only way out:
He is the light in the darkness;
the life in your bones;
He is the reason you're still alive.
Call on Him now,
and watch how He so carefully and beautifully mends your broken soul
giving meaning to the pain you had to endure.

He saved me,
and He can save you too.

Listen: believe me,
If I knew how to rise up
And overcome them
You would see the shadows crawl
Out of discomfort
For the light bursting, flying,
Exploding forth and
Breaking free of the old bonds
On my now unfettered soul.

Being strong has nothing to do with strength.
It's about your ability to adapt to
And overcome obstacles.
If you look at it like that,
Anyone can be strong.
And with all the challenges
We face this year,
you'll have plenty of practice.