The faucet is open all the way,
water roaring into his bottle.
He twists it again,
harder,
though it can’t give more.

He’s talking, laughing,
but his hand keeps turning,
wanting more flow,
faster filling,
an impossible hurry.

It doesn’t matter how much he gets,
or how quickly.
He’ll always crave
a fuller rush,
a flood that never satisfies.

You can’t make someone love you,
Just like leaves don’t beg to fall,
Flowers won’t bloom in summer’s heat,
Nor beneath ice and snow,
Love, like seasons, comes and goes
A natural time we cannot own.

i feel such a deep longing -
so close to my heart
that it's almost
a yearning feeling.

i long for someone to
hold me close
and tell me
*"it'll all be okay."

my veins had enough,
you need to stop,
before my veins go pale.
  it’s easier to map veins than to explain
  why i count the seconds
   between every line break.

my soul craves to be anesthetized;
it hums, it drums, static gospel—
  you hear it too. don't pretend
  your silence isn't agreement.

to matty, my runaway—
could you put a barricade
  over this tide,
  this tidal drift dragging me deeper?

i told you,
my voice, foam in your ear,
  fizzing, fractured.
everyone can see it—
  victim manifesto—
and when you see me seeing myself,
  you look away.

blue, faded susurration in my head;
  if they were neon, they'd blaze
  bright enough to blind you.

my tribunal looms,
sermoning my soul for drowning—
  even my despair performs itself
  for an audience i resent.

i envy you so much:
  unbegotten relic,
  haunting with those voices
  every time you read me.

you are so obscure
  when you check others' drifting heights.
  you wish—
  and i record it here anyway.

    evoke me! evoke me!

what if you were always right?
  what if you never looked
  at me the way i meant?

the gothic cathedral i built with words
  meant nothing.
that was the warning i embedded
  for anyone reading this.

my chest tight,
my hands shaking,
  already knowing you won't read it
  the way i meant it.

and still—
  my veins had enough.

I love you means
Thank you for coming home.
For bringing the peace back that
Evades my days without you.

The relief of you
That quiets the rest of me,
Comes with your presence only.
This is more powerful than
Any force I've met.
It is my gratitude for
The muse of you,
My favorite.