Feb 2

My Auntie Elsie
Went to Chelsea
To see the flower show
But she pricked her nose
On a fragrant rose
She thought she’d like to grow.

© Copyright SE February 2017

It drove the poet round the bend,
his limericks just wouldn't end.
They'd go well for a time,
but come the fourth line....

It drove the poet round the bend,
his limericks just wouldn't end.
They had the precision of a clock,
but then they would suddenly stop...

It drove the poet round the bend,
his limericks just wouldn't end.
It really wasn't his fault,
they just came to a halt...

...fuck it!

© Pagan Paul (01/02/17)

Feb 1

A brave little haggis called Gus
Set off on a trip to Luss
But he wound up in Troon
Lying upside doon
Cos he fell asleep on the bus.

© Copyright SE February 2017

From a little trip to the west coast

Lady Lizzy liked sleeping in
she deemed it, a viable win
even though she's alone
sexual skill's she would hone
and never considered it, sin

Yup, go for it Liz :D
Not a reference to people (Liz's in particular) living or deceased, and definitely not of anyone here!
And HEY! It's a limerick, it's supposed to be off color :D~
#humor   #limerick   #adult   #liz  

There was a beautiful lady in China
no, not North, or South Carolina
prolific of men
over, and over again
the cause of her death, from angina

Bet you thought the last word was gonna be different! :D

There now is a guy in D.C.
Who thinks he is king there, you see.
He built a big list
And no one was missed
That he wants to throw into the sea.

He decided his kingdom should be
His kind of democracy;
Where we’ll do what he said
Or we’ll end up dead
And he can claim solidarity.

The guy is quite plainly eluded
He wants certain people excluded
He thinks we don’t see
His gross villainy;
The emperor is completely denuded.

He thinks our land is his plaything
He issues demands that are dismaying.
His delusions are obvious.
He’s out to ruin all of us.
It’s a dangerous game he is playing.

Some of us hope he gets locked up
And based on the plans he has hocked up
He reminds of a dumb whore
Who is surprised once more
When she finds out that she’s knocked up.

There was a young fellow from Kent,
Who whistled wherever he went.
The notes were so shrill,
His wife told him, "Bill!
Shut up, or you'll sleep in the tent!"


Once there was a man and lady in tears
their lamentations went on for years
until came the day
before slipping away
they overcame, all of their fears

Nothing cannot be conquered, or overcome, ever. :)

There once was a warrior Princess, named Zena
no cares for the glitz and patina
she never ran from a fight
although she now might
as she didn't like, the subpoena

Hehe Hercules was a fool ;D

So Hesiod looked around on an ancient Grecian day
He looked at all the rowdy youth doung things their way
With their sundials and writing
And their chariots like lightning
He concluded that youth were going the wrong way

"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on the frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words. When I was a boy, we were taught to be discrete and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise and impatient of restraint."- Hesiod
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