I. Marvelous Blarney
There once was a man from Killarney
Who looked like a lumpy Art Carney.
His cup, though, was brimmin'
With beautiful women
Because he spoke marvelous blarney.
II. Dirty Girl
There once was a horny young druid
Who watched as a woman bathed nuid.
She got out the tub,
And she gave him a rub,
And he slimed her with seminal fluid.
I. Lots of Luck
There once was an old Irish rover
Discovered a bright four-leaf clover.
He reached down to pluck it
And then kicked the bucket:
He bent down and died bending over.
II. Fairy Folk
A bonny young lassie named Mary
Fell hard for a laddie from Derry
Who never would try her,
But only passed by her,
A fairy in search of a fairy.
III. Boogers the Best
There once was a man from Racine
With boogers the best ever seen:
He'd pick one and lick it,
Then roll it and flick it
Till all of his fingers were green.