Lately, I have been suffering
From being slightly absent-minded,
Forgot to flush the Lav last night
Which almost left our lass blinded?

You dirty old sod!
You’ve forgotten to flush the chain,
Staring into the pan, she says
Looks like the remnants of your brain,

A genuine mistake possibly,
Fear will always be reminded of my error,
Her normally very passive tongue
Was now raging words of terror?

Yet I can see an escape route,
Or shall we say a viable excuse,
To explain my left deposits
Which were a little loose?

I know it has been a while my dear
Since you last visited the traps,
So I thought I would leave you a reminder
Then maybe just perhaps,

As it is over a week,
Since you last had a show,
I also detect a hint of jealousy,
Cos at least I can go!

#poem   #loss   #fun   #memory   #humor   #problems   #toilet  

Poop slidin out ma ass
Squirts of liquid and spurts of gas
Constraining my face
To push it out and away
That lil turd hangin from ma hole
It's almost like it's got a soul
I shake it off quick
That big black stick
And then it goes plop
Down in the poop pot
Wash it away, with tears and say
"Urrrrgea, that was a big one aye?"
Then flush it down
And watch it fade away

You find inspiration everywhere :)
#poem   #shit   #crap   #poop   #toilet   #plop  

Shadows of grumpy old MANisms
run through my channels
flooding my fjords
overrunning my shorelines
and scaring the kiddies
the schoolmarms
the chaff and the raff
   The kisses of clouds
upon my four bared cheeks
as I fall to the Earth again
explore the memories
that we shared together
while cloaked in mist
   The gray twilight shades and tones
take over like gentle music notes
soothing away the agitation and the
frustration of an aging mind
that I myself would run from
if I were still able

   Every day
your memory gets farther away
and so does the toilet

Don't ask me. I've already forgotten.
#man   #old   #memory   #age   #aging   #dementia   #toilet   #certain  
Stanley Wilkin
Nov 8, 2016

It was the day the toilet broke,
the day the bank was robbed
when my wife walked out,
suitcase in hand. Her head
blown off on the pavement
in the gunfire between bank robbers
and police. It was that kind of day.
That evening I had the toilet repaired.

#wonder   #murder   #indifference   #broke   #robbers   #police   #banks   #toilet   #bank   #gunfire  
Eiler
Eiler
Jun 3, 2016

If I were a gal, (all though I am not),
I'd leave the seat up, when leaving the pot!
For by SOME men, without even causing a frown,
accidents DO happen to a seat left down.

And one day, as you hastily take a seat,
reminded you'll be of the mentioned feat.
For on the seat, where you just had a sit;
you then discover, it had happened to it.

Therefore, everywhere, this lesson do cry:
leave the seat up, and keep your bum dry!

#funny   #wisdom   #toilet  
My Dearest Reno
My Dearest Reno
Jun 2, 2016

i received a warmth,
an invisible man
hands a plenty, in joy
my boyfriend, doesn't
exist but in my
mind, phone, and heart
but a man is not,
grinds at the bottom of cup
speak of future, walks in a park
all created for our entertainment,
a shadow something, holding me
whispering of holiday in hanaiapa,
imagination takes us to europa
where gold sands leave permanent prints
leaving no trace of lover's bliss-
i have a boyfriend,
an invisible man, he loves
me and i love him, blind

#core   #humor   #toilet   #essentials  
Austin Bauer
Austin Bauer
Jun 1, 2016

"You did the right thing,"
God said to me on
The Day of Final Judgement,
"You switched the roll
Of toilet paper when
No one was looking."

#god   #day   #paper   #judgement   #toilet  
Hao Nguyen
Hao Nguyen
Apr 7, 2016

Many of the most profound pieces of poetry
May not have been dreamed and transferred
In particular manners professional,
And many of the most practiced writers
May not have been as noble nor indicative
As their readers would imagine and preach.
This concern thus produces a humorous conclusion
That through probability, possibility, and realism,
Many of the greatest and most inspiring words
Passed down to our misguided generation,
May have been conceived, scribbled, and explored
From the humble origins of atop a toilet.

Ami Shae
Ami Shae
Feb 12, 2016

I'm having a really hard time
understanding our world these days.
I feel like I am just losing my way.
I keep thinking I'll get it together,
that my mind is stronger than this,
that soon, very soon
I will somehow overcome
the overwhelming desire
to just
LEAVE.
!!!!!
BUT--
Honestly--I am just so tired
and so fed up with life.
It seems that the human race
has for the most part
lost its collective mind
and the morals of mankind
are falling into the toilet.
I would just hit the handle
and flush it down,
but the damn thing is so full
that it's blocked
and the sludge
just swirls endlessly
--nothing is being accomplished
except to keep people churned up
and fighting against one another.

Nothing makes sense anymore.
Nothing.

The cruelty, the stupidity of the campaign for Presidency (OMG, if Trump gets elected, our country is DOOMED) his hatred and
the uncaring hearts that follow him all swirl about this land &
are enough to make me want to just give up...
#sad   #life   #world   #humanity   #tired   #morals   #losing   #giveup   #mankind   #toilet  
Atul Kaushal
Atul Kaushal
Jan 19, 2016

It was in the Mughal period
That a combined bathroom,
Shower & toilet put together,
Were called a Ghusl Khana.
Inside it proceeded many stuff,
Literally meaning cleansing,
Of both the body and soul.

Sat the emperor inside,
Busy in cleaning his body,
And his soul too with water,
And with the warmth of it,
He tried cleansing his soul,
After administrating the empire,
And being engaged in battles.

The battles of truth,
The battles of trust,
The battles of faith.

My HP Poem #993
©Atul Kaushal
#faith   #bathroom   #empire   #toilet   #grand   #persian   #urdu   #emperor   #akbar   #khana  
 
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