Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Mark Toney May 2023
My free-range limericks are light
They will not keep you up at night
You won't find ******
Anything naughty
In my universe, they're just right!




Mark Toney © 2023
5/15/2023 - Poetry form: Free-Range Limerick - This is my second limerick that refers to my work in progress, Free-Range Limericks, on wattpad.com.  To date, I have posted 25 limericks. They are free-range because they can roam freely outdoors, making them loads of laughs and full of fun, and they're also antibiotic and gluten-free. In my universe, they're just right!
ConnectHook Apr 2023
Bonobos and Seahorses mate
in a very peculiar state.
First they raise up a flag—
then they dress up in drag
to attack and accuse and berate.

A murderous misfit, well-armed,
was concerned that her kind might be harmed;
so he shot the place up,
this confused buttercup…
and the media minions were charmed.

Let the rainbow resume its old role
Or we’ll have to call damage control;
It’s a sign from above;
Yes, it’s true God is love,
but He may not forgive your lost soul.
My preferred pronoun is POETRY
NaPoWriMo 2023 underway
Anais Vionet Feb 2023
It’s Sunday morning, about 8am. My BF Peter and I we’re doing our laundry. Most of the time, we spent in my dorm common room, sitting side by side on a red corduroy couch, while our clothes washed, and then tumbled away in the dryer. If you want privacy on a college campus, or to do laundry in peace, avoiding the weekend laundry rush, do it before 10am.

"Why do you wear these," Peter asked, pulling and lightly snapping the hair-band on my wrist.
I pull my hand back, protectively. "If I don’t have a hair-band on my wrist I feel out of control."

There’s a new me. I’d decided - civilized, unemotional, clear-sighted.
"I've got a lot to do before summer,” Peter said earlier, “so I made a spreadsheet.”

I felt a shadow pass over me - our future is, at best, undecided. So, I shifted gears, the way the new me is trying to do lately.
“A Spreadsheet!” I said, like I approved, and he grinned. I’d made him happy. This is what adults do, I’d decided, they have civilized conversations where decisions were made or avoided - but there was a small, dark thing in my heart.

I got a text from our dryer saying our clothes were dry, so we headed down. I love the smell of fresh laundry and the feeling of shaved legs against fresh bed sheets - a luxurious combination no guy will ever understand. I made a mental note to shave my legs later.

The last couple of weeks I’ve been working on summer fellowship applications. A successful summer fellowship is one of those things I’ll need when I apply for med-school - like grades, faculty letters, physician recommendations, community service, a great MCAT score, bla bla bla.

My mom knows the 200 things med-schools use to cleave away pretenders and she’ll rattle them off upon request and sometimes over groaning protests.

What I need, ideally, this summer, are clinical experience hours. There’s not much at stake, just my future, the respect of the faculty, and the begrudging acknowledgement of my pre-med peers. My mom was quizzing me on my progress last night. I confirmed that all the applications were in and I ended with, “I haven’t slept with anyone yet, to gain advantage - but we’re still early in the process.”

She was not amused.
BLT Marriam Webster word of the day challenge:Cleave: “to divide as if by a cutting blow”
ConnectHook Jun 2022
Illegitimate Biden: he's fake--
And his vote-counters all on the take.
Though no justice prevails,
We can stroke the cold scales
Of this doddering dangerous snake.
Ron Conway Jan 2021
It started with Covid-19
The likes of which we'd never seen.
We thought we'd be good
but we should have touched wood
as it's turned into something obscene.

So then ****** Hornets arrived
(we thought it was something contrived,
excuse me for thinking)
They told us unblinking
From a horror flick this was derived

He was hoping to win the election
and he just couldn't stand the rejection.
His effort to thwart
was to ***** us in court
but he couldn't maintain an *******.
                                               rc
Hannah Sep 2020
The thing that's annoyingly tragic is,
This cactus has plenty of adjectives,
So why can't I rhyme,
Like I do all the time,
And find myself right where the magic is?

I can't figure out a limerick,
About a cactus and its ******,
God-**** it, it's stumped me,
I've been trying for centuries-
Or has it just been a few minutes?
For practice, I've been writing limericks about random objects. This is what I came up with for a cactus.
Mark Toney Oct 2019
Poetic delicacies,

Chilled haiku sake,

Sautéed clerihew au jus,

Free-range limericks

baked to perfection,

Footle fries,

Yum!
10/17/2019 - Bon Appétit ! Poetry form: Epulaeryu - A poem that is entirely about food. It has seven lines with a grand total of thirty-three syllables. The meter of the poem is set so that it is, 7/5/7/5/5/3/1.  The poem is supposed to revolve entirely around the dish. Each line is supposed to present information about it. The end of an Epulaeryu poem ends with an exclamation point because the poem itself is about the writer's excitement and enjoyment toward the dish that they are writing about. The final line, the one-syllable word is meant to sum up the feelings that the writer has. The Epulaeryu poem is a way to express these positive feelings about food and is a fun way to do so. - Copyright © Mark Toney | Year Posted 2019 - Bon Appétit !
ConnectHook Aug 2019
Jeffrey Epstein is gone. Suicided?
The conclusion is still undecided.
A libidinous god . . .
or a jewel for Mossad?
The tribunal is deeply divided.

Mr Epstein is gone... wonder where.
Is he dead? All conjecture is fair.
Was that him on the slab?
We all hoped we would blab;
his declassified secrets to share.
He used to manage my hedge-funds back in the day ☺
TheB0redP0et Jul 2019
poetic thoughts running free 'n' about,
thinking limericks, my mind's full of doubt.

spooked from behind, as then i called for my cat,
trying to convince, the innocent claws to chase out the rat.

as all he did was pout the fat 'n' lazy, stout...
Rose Mar 2019
I need to say something I’d rather not have to say
But there is a bed I have made and now I must lay
you shouldn’t have to know
But I’m gonna say no
I really hope our friendship won’t have to pay.....
Next page