Lord,
i feel so far from You.
everytime i try to
reach You
i feel a disconnection
a wall that i cannot break
because i don't have
enough strength
right now.
i feel the world is against me
and my heart is so, so empty
i don't know what to do
i try to run instead of
going through it
Your guidance ;
i feel isolation
in this depth of fear
i won't let it consume me
but it already has.
the pain in my heart
knowing i can't pull it out
the knife stabbed at the back
the blood shedding
all that
my prayers are sent
like an instant text
i feel as if i won't get there
nor get back on track
it's not easy
here me out loud
i feel so far away from You,
Lord,
i need myself back,
now.

A stimulating impulse,
Leading to the center of a drying up ocean,
Never a wish granted, it dries up to extinction,
What little hope it holds, vanquished in an instant,
Life that now cannot grow out of light, creates a desert,
How many souls will it take until it is satisfied with its destruction ?
Only sorrow may remain as the one true victor.
A heart felt fancy would be the assumption,
Of a brighter, lively future,
Yet there is no faith in it ever coming,
It is but a lost dream.

~ Umi

A baby rabbit fur grey as the sky lies dead
Her eyes stare blankly upward
Watching god
Her body lifeless
Her family gone
She is cold and helpless in my hands
And I cannot help but think
She has gone too soon
As many before her

I want to break my love into a thousand pieces.
Would you stop me?
And spread it to all the loveless, lonely people .
Would you help me?

My love is brutal like wolf blood hungry ...
I know that.
My love is tantalizing like a deeper darker river ..
I know that.

I want to break your smile into a thousand pieces.
Would you stop me?
And spread it to all the lifeless, abandoned people.
Would you let me?

Your smile is soft and shiny.
Yes You know that.
Your smile is bright and sunny.
Yes You know that.

My love,
your smile
are sharp like shiny razors.
And pain is coming from the cut....
For me .
For you.
For thousand people.
Yesterday.
Today.
Tomorrow...

This perfect moment
Slipping right on by
Already gone

I couldn't take it
Sorry
It didn't save it


Sorry...

I think it's safe to assume
I will change, but it won't be soon
Maybe once I know what I want to say

You're one tough act that I don't want to follow
Watching you run towards tomorrow
Leaves me wishing that I could have today

You always talk fast, I'm trying to wade through
I can't unpack your constant deluge
Give me a second, let me concentrate

I don't understand the your phantom pressures
I can't figure out how you communicate
Or find the source of your endless grace

There's no such thing as true evil
Across all cultures and creeds, evil exists
All relegated to human existence
It's a byproduct of our own physicality
There's a million neurons firing constantly
Fueling immeasurable transfers of information
Constantly, across the whole of the race
Across the face of the planet
It's just one massive web of ideas
We're all afraid of death, its terrifying
We hate the idea that we won't exist
And our group instinct drives us together
Empathy binds us like that, and we feel a false sense that
We're moral beings, because we treat others with respect
But we're only looking out for ourselves
And we can quickly kid ourselves
Systemic evil is just everyone tricking themselves in a million different ways
All tricks coming in different directions
And when tragedy strikes, we all like to look at the end result
We all point at the ******, ugly end and say
That's evil
And then we try and scapegoat, look for easy solutions
But really, we're all culpable

I have taken back my life
so much that the flowers have died
they lay lifeless on the counter
the same way i did as they bloomed

Is it selfish
that I really don't mind
the way they droop

The longing they carry
or the dark discolouration of petals
holding the open hands
outstretched by life itself

Goodbye flowers
it's been real