Guess what
I am so used to my nightmares
Everytime I wake up from one
I laugh at myself and go back to sleep
Only to return to the evil place
Back in my head
But it's okay
I am used to it now

Has anyone told you the pain we all feel?
when we sit in the darkness of our rooms
and we burst out the rivers that are compressed by the masks we hold
Has anyone told you that we are not attention seekers?
when we inflict the straight lines on our innocent skin and we cover because it's our secret
Has anyone told you that words are the most powerful thing alive?
so when you throw your words like a ball in the air
and we cry in your face
its because it hurts, it kills
it breaks us.

Has anyone told you that feeling low is not a joke?
so when you tell us to move on its been years, weeks, days even minutes we cant push the sadness hiding the monster sleeping in our black hearts away.
the monster isn't letting go of us.
Has anyone told you that we are one step to shooting the pain away as each day goes by
Our heart cries and our sadness laughs
we are on the step to ending the brutal suffering
after all how much can one take?

Has anyone told you that anyone with mental health no matter how bad is one community?
we are in this journey together.
so if you judge them, you judge us.

I am scared
Terrfied
In fear
That
If i close my eyes
The **** scenes
Will play again
I have no energy left

If you could read my mind right now
You would be in tears.

You hurt me
You slapped me
But It doesnt matter because you love me
You bought me flowers
You hurt me again today
You punched me
But It doesnt matter
You love me
You bought me flowers
You stabbed me
It doesnt matter because you love me
You bought me flowers
To my grave

i let go of the tightrope that was supposed to protect me and be mine
for i now know that this world is a place not for me
i know nobody will hold me and my siblings hand and say
"we are here for you, laiba,nida and ayaan"
we gotta be there for ourselves now
like we always have been

broken and destroyed
the world has done this to us
heard and called us mad
like we was something born out of an outcast to society
Who knew that being born out of **** will have such harsh consequences

let us be
and let us breathe
stop strangling us with your words
now this heart has had enough

How are you feeling?
What is going on in your mind
Is that your dream that is hurting you inside?
You wake up yelling in your room
You look around wonder who it is
You realise its you

Mum.
Mum
Can you hear me.

Don't ever take my silence for granted
It's got more power then words could ever have.
Listen closely and you will hear
That I no longer trust a soul