With furrowed brow
and a soul full of
sorrow,
I trudge the
lonely road of
perdition.
Providence guides me
as I stumble and fall.
Not even *** or
chocolate
can save me now.

A LIFE OF LINES upon a page upon a chest would you believe it yet. WOULD YOU SEE a crime to vandalize or would it be a pleasure to your eyes. A WORK OF ART upon this skin but would it do the trick within. AN EMPTY BOOK full of boxes full of checks though the emptier it gets. A SKULL THATS SPLITTING full of gritting anger and emotion. COULD IT HEAL or might it just rot the soul increase ten fold fester and congeal. WOULD YOU FEEL a flame beneath your palm or would it burn not noticing at all beacause doesnt seem youre reacting as youre getting mauled. MAYBE ITS that spot within your chest between the things they just cannot forget. THAT SPOT WHERE THERES an open wound from which your heart falls out each moon and to the ground it hits the stone and there it sits til you atone for deeds that maybe have occurred though the pain is to insure. BUT DO YOU THINK the tear will ever close. DO YOU THINK youll ever add two more. COULD YOU EVER have three lines upon your chest all neatly in a row. AND IF YOU DID the body still could rid the heart each time returned to core and blood inside your head coagulated red with palms that have been burned - THEN WHAT WOULD IT BE FOR.

I feel terribly wrong
The moon doesn't shine
the planets are not aligned
My stomach sinks and I can't control
my heartbeat
Overclouded and no rain
Just a bunch of flying mistakes
I can't stay still, my feet run when I sleep
Courageous, I've been called
But murmurs of weakness I hear
And I feel like death is near
where can I find peace?
Where the leaves are colored
And the sea is aqua blue and the sun's rays are sharp
This palace is my solitude
This feeling is my prison
I can't escape it nor calm it down
It's tied to my veins

It started of as a joke
Like a game gone wrong
But when i heard her cry
I knew there was somthing
Terribly wrong

My heart is beating so fast
Fast like fast
Faster then fast
The  urge is to self harm
29/07/2020
Relapsed...
My heart beated fast
My mind acted fast

Daddy why did u hurt me
Daddy why did u put your hands all  over me
Daddy please tell me
Laiba is breaking apart
And that isnt fair
No freinds no nothing
She can't hear the phase "who will be the one to loose your virginity"
All I can remeber is my dad was the first
Not my childhood sweetheart ..

I wish I die.
And  nobody will cry

My silent screams go unnoticed
My darkend days unchecked
I wish they believed me when i said it did happen
The emptiness is all consuming
It stole away my breathe
Self harm is always an option
Sucide is wish
That wouldn't happen to me
Because even death has rejected me
The memories of being suffocated by the man you called dad totures my head every minute
But now....
I got nothin to say
My words ran away with my happiness

Do not  make permanent dessicions
On temporary feelings
Too late now.
Already have