I don't care
I never did
I never will

I don't care about the stabs
I don't care about the lies
I don't care about the loss

I never did
I never will

I don't care about you abandoning me in the middle of nowhere or making me doubt every single person I meet or forcing me to look at the mirror and despise the foolishness I had.

I don't care about all the above.

I try to convince myself every night that I don't.
But, I do;
I fully keenly wholesomely do care and my care was my doom.

When you kissed me, I lied.

I let you kiss me because I wanted someone to love me.  
I was selfish, I wanted to soothe my craving for attention, soft and kind love.

It’s because you’re warm and safe, I still do get the urge to trust you with love.
In fact you’re handsome while so insecure.

But I shouldn’t have kissed you, because I knew I didn’t want you but your aroma.
I chewed it and played with it to spare your feelings and to ebb my shame

but believe me, I’m happy to have made your acquaintance on that awful day that appeared on paper as perfect.
On the day when the last one I loved, introduced me to you

We all deserve to walk in the dark if we wish.
We all deserve to get home safe.
We all deserve to be policed by kind hearts.
We are all Sarah.

maybe i do deserve the pain
i give it to others anyways
doesnt that make me a bad person?
don't i deserve to be punished?

I used to hope you'd bring me flowers
But now I grow my own
I've grown a whole garden now
Waiting for you to come back home
I used to hope you'd bring me flowers
But I'm no longer naive
My garden has since died
You're no longer someone I believe
I used to hope you'd bring me flowers
But my dear I should've known
That all my hoping would do
Is make me realize I'm alone
I used to hope you'd bring me flowers
I'd hoped you'd love me too
But those flowers never came
And my dear neither did you

A flower was offered to me;
Such a flower as May never bore.
But I said I’ve a Pretty Rose-tree.
And I passed the sweet flower o’er.

Then I went to my Pretty Rose-tree:
To tend her by day and by night.
But my Rose turnd away with jealousy:
And her thorns were my only delight.

have you benefited from me?
this friendship
this love
is there anything more i can give you?
so your heart
i can touch

you try
everyday
and i know that it gets tough
but distance would mean the world to me
if only you understood that much

i know what its like in your shoes
trust me
i know
i do
but i also know that this is the only way
to stop me from hurting you

to answer your question
you have
ive learnt that sometimes the truth
can only serve to break someone
and so ill keep lying to you

your life cannot benefit from my honesty
and something i know too well
is that sometimes people grow better
without me
sometimes i just shouldnt tell

im sorry i know you dont understand
and perhaps you never will
but my heart it hurts for you everyday
but soon youll learn to tell your heart
"be still"

Perhaps to love is to learn
to walk through this world.
To learn to be silent
like the oak and the linden of the fable.
To learn to see.
Your glance scattered seeds.
It planted a tree.
     I talk
because you shake its leaves.

If I had a flower
for every time  I thought of you ,
I could walk in  my own garden forever.
And that would be amazing, wouldnt it?
It indeed, would be.

MY people are gray,
  pigeon gray, dawn gray, storm gray.
I call them beautiful,
  and I wonder where they are going.