You should know that I have settled down with some plain guy from a small town
I'm so quiet now; the simple life is good.
I no longer need to be understood.

But are you still crazy over me?
Could I still make you bleed slowly?
Could the intoxication of me
still paralyze who you want to be?

I still think of you, I do.

You should know that
I have settled down with some plain from a small town.

Sometimes I cry because life is so hard to deal with
It's that simple and I still don't understand
It's always my turn with no-one to hold my hand
And so, sometimes I cry when I'm alone in my head

Sometimes I whisper because, I'm scared to admit to myself out loud
It's confusing, it's complicated and i have no plan ahead
It's always my turn with no-one to share the blame
And so sometimes I whisper and I hate myself the same

But then you see sometimes I smile because
the sun rose from his dormant shadow
There's life, there's hope and I cannot defy nature
But it doesn't make my road smoother to carry my weary self along
So sometimes I smile because not everything has gone wrong

So blindly I trip on life's surprise
Blinded by my lustful need for rain
Spoiled by my own spiteful words
Hello parade meet my pain

And once again the sun is not my friend
It's morning and I will wake and pretend
My spring with a touch of crazy
You're my yes, in a world of maybe.

Mirror in front of me
I'm breaking apart so happily
Let me play with my demons alone
how can I not be your home

And once again the sun is not my friend
It's morning and I will wake and pretend
My spring with a touch of crazy
You're my yes, in a world of maybe.

It upsets me when I feel I have no space to fully explain myself.
I feel I get cut off and then there is just no discussion.
You are right because of the way you see it.
And you perhaps are...You see it the way you do and that’s it, so absolute.
I don’t see things the way you do.
Do I get space to explain?
Are we too different?
Sometimes it appears we are.
I’m tired of getting upset.
I’m tired of not being understood.
I’m tired of feeling like I do belong, then I don’t, then I do…
I’m sad about it.
The harsh tones… I can’t do the harsh tones anymore.
Then the softness that follows.
The care that follows.
Making sure I’m ok, doing things gently because you can feel I’m upset.
Because we are different.
I can’t do sudden bursts of energy and emotion that explode and fade as fast as they arrived.
My gradual build up has a gradual recovery too.
Because we are so different it is hard for me to explain this.
And so I write.
But you want actions and I have words.
So so different, we are.

I feel so hurt by you.

You chose her over me

But the ultimate irony is

I'd never make you choose, you see?

I'll give you space to come back to me

Just so you know

It may not be the same this time

And I'm the fool somehow

I'd probably take you back

And I'd forgive all that's been done

I wouldn't even need an explanation

Just to see your glowing face in the sun, the sun, the sun

You don't even know how much it hurt

You don't even see the pain in my heart

But I'd never burden you with that

I really just want a new start

It comes in whispers

Like sleepy murmurs

Warm, like sunshine on your skin

Non-invasive, but persuasive

And then your savage imagination

Demands an audience

Suppos-ed standard storylines

Implanted from a distance

First unit on the scene

Says 'close it up tight'

But by now I know better

No more 'fight or flight'

And the wind kicks up the leaves

And the oceans go wild

As I roll up my sleeves

and release the mind

In my purple velvet fields

I'll roll on the fresh, cut grass

And then I think I'll scream

And shatter what once was...