she became submissive to the burning of her throat , that left her on cloud 9
Inhaling the illegal substance to ease her mind of her imperfections and exhaling her biggest fears of morality
She started to lose her morals as time went on
The only thing that left her mouth was smoke that clouded her vision

Wanting to be accepted by everyone she lost her dignity in the big cup of liquor that she managed to down in one gulp  
Closing her eyes trying to block out the images of her old life
Fighting the urge to not drink anymore one more cup turned into three , three turned into six ,
Why her?
Adding more ruby red lipstick to her now numb lips to make sure her lips shine through the glossy vision of ***** shadows

she painted a picture of perfectionist in her mind as she applied ruby red lipstick amongst her lips and added a clear coat of lip gloss to seal the secrets
Using massacre to hide every tear drop that left her big brown eyes
As if she was going to war with herself
Her dignity
Her pride
Adding
Blush
Eye shadow
Lip stick
Massacre to seal the battle wounds
Was her daily dosage of forgiveness
Trying to forgive herself for allowing her secrets to smudge as she opened up something that was so pure
Her heart

Looking down at her body she started to feel insecure so she added more blush to her now covered face but she was a makeup artist
Adding more blush to hide the hand prints from the other night
Massacre to hide the tear drops that she managed to squeeze out when her submissive ways battered like a beaten woman that lived in the projects
Eye shadow , that covered the darkness around her eyes because she hasn't slept in days
And finally her favorite ...
Ruby red lipstick to make her stand out even when the lights were off
She wanted everyone to notice her but only covered enough so her imperfect life wouldn't smudge
I am a makeup artist ..

You love my eyes, my smile, my hair—
But what of the dryness of my hands,
The birthmark on my neck?

Am I still beautiful at 2 a.m:
Makeup smudged, hair undone,
Eyes half-closed?

What of the wetness beneath my eyes,
My swollen lips and cracked apology?
Do you still think I'm pretty
When I'm crying?
When I've got bruises on my knees,
Blisters on my ankles?

It's morning-time, mid-spring,
The time of freckles, bee stings,
And sweaty cheeks.
If you want me, you'll take it all—
I will not shatter myself
So you can love one piece.

Drip, drip.
The lovely red.
Drips from the veins.
Inside of your head.

Drip, drop, drip, drop.
I think your dead.
So much blood.
The pretty red.

Onto the concrete.
Blood stains on the walls.
Drip, drop, drip, drop.
Heard in empty halls.

The pleasant drip.
As your heart stops.
Like rose petals on snow.
Such lovely red drops.

Blood let's us live.
Blood also can ****.
It delivers the poison.
Brought in by the pill.

Dripping, dripping.
None left inside.
Without anymore blood.
Your carcass is dried.

If my blood could illustrate,
A picture to the world,
It will tell you the exact state,
How my heart pumps its hurt.

Each ventricle pumps emotions,
Pain, anger, hope,
Up to my brain,
And down to my toes.

Slithering through each artery and vein,
Blood carves my hearts pain,
In my head,
In my head.

Working through each capillary,
It forges anger and rage,
In my bones,
My aching bones.

After its done its work,
It fights back through each valve,
And pours back into the atriums,
Devoid of fury and pain.

It was used up,
Just like my tears,
My wasted energy for nothing,
It brought me no good.
Just more hurt.

And just slowly,
As the pain and anger dissipates from my system,
And fresh blood is packaged and sent,
From my bone marrows,
It brings along a slimmer of hope,
That this new cycle of blood would carry no more pain.

She was a simple kind of pretty.
Instead of eyeliner,
Dark circles and worry
outlined her eyes.
A good student, they said
but it was never good enough.
She knew she could do better.
There could always be better.
She knew she wasn't good enough.
Things were never good enough for her.
To disappoint the high standards
she forced upon herself
was a crime punishable by death.