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809 · Feb 2018
My Happiness
Carly Geissler Feb 2018
Fallen to the rivers and valleys,
Hated by the depths of my sea,
Nurtured by the hands of many,
Killed by the thoughts inside me.

Dwelling in a golden chariot,
Riding to the highest of hills,
Thriving inside all but one,
Giving the one soul chills.

Dreaming to be in the hearts of all,
But running too fast to catch,
Bringing the perfect feeling to everyone,
But always seeming to forget.

Living inside everyone it sees,
Just always neglecting me.
Wrote this in five minutes this morning and figured I might as well post something.
473 · Jan 2018
Worst Version Of Me
Carly Geissler Jan 2018
They say that not all who wander are lost.
But wandering does come with a cost,
Because eventually, you become misplaced,
And then you get lost by your own mistake.

My mind was lost a long time ago,
I'm confused and worried nothing to show,
People pass by smiles on their faces.
They say your happiness is you so embrace it.

In society, it is defined as depression,
Scared and dreary, sadness is an obsession,
It makes you upset and confused for days,
It makes you contemplate what other people say.

I try not to live up to society's confirmatory.
I always try to make the most of my abnormality.
But what you don't know is I'm not what you see,
I only display the best version of me.
I thought the rhyming scheme was pretty good. I wrote this a long time ago, trying to come to terms with how I felt inside and I realized that how I felt inside wasn't what society wanted. Because big girls weren't supposed to cry.
Carly Geissler Jan 2018
As I think my thoughts get crazy,
And the clouds roll over the sky in my mind.
My dreams will get hazy,
Deep and undefined.

I cry my tears of sorrow,
I bleed my blood of shame.
My voice is laced with fear,
Lurking, creeping in my brain.

I don't know what I'm thinking,
Or the path I took to get that far.
My musing becomes quite,
A broken string on a guitar.

Just a little off,
And never sounds quite right.
Strange and rather lonely,
Like a solo wolf chorus at night.

Shivers down my spine,
At the thought of my own insanity
How could I think that thinking
Could be such a thoughtful calamity?
Throwback to eighth grade when I thought I was edgy but in reality it made my English teacher send me to the counselor because the rest of the class wrote about happiness and rainbows.
330 · Jan 2018
Ode To My Happiness
Carly Geissler Jan 2018
It left me on a cold night where I couldn't close my eyes,
When the moon was low in the sky,
Morning broke like fine china and the sun brought fire above,
But birds didn’t carry their same beautiful tune,
Colors didn't paint things as they once did,
Laughs couldn't escape my heart the same,
Smiles never played on my lips,
They just pained on the inside.

It left like a dreaming sailor,
Slowly it escaped further away,
Until it became a small dot on the horizon,
Then non-existent.
It was bound for a better life,
Disregarding its holder because it knew better,
Needing someone who cradled it like a first-born child,
Aching for a holder worthy of its potential.

It was chased away by my burdens,
That placed a weight upon them and forced them underwater.
It’s feared of being polluted by the clouds above my mind,
Combining with the dreadful darkness.
So it fled on a golden stead with not force against the front,
With moonflower horses and servants replenishing its cup,
As if it were too good for me.
I wasn't able to chase down the gleam that soared away.

Sometimes I go looking in the depths of an overgrown forest,
Searching for the candle that illuminates the night,
Burdens become heavier than then the sins of humanity,
I travel with lumber as my legs crumble down,
Yet, I continue to press forward with a cavity in my chest.
One day I'll stop my quest,
And retreat back to the dark,
Leaving fixes nothing, but took the longing off my heart.

I still miss the silver platter of hope and everything tied in.
I wish to see the bright colors dazzle my eyes,
To find enough room to smile and create astounding joy,
But it's probably found a new land,
That's supplied with better fillers and gigantic love,
Living to it's fullest potential on a beautiful beach,
With someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Someone who doesn't need it, like the depression in me.
This poem came to me late at night on a full moon as I was having a large battle with myself. It made me realize what in me was missing and that was my happiness. Two days later I'm sitting in a doctors office and given two options. Take medicine or figure out how to deal on my own. I wasn't ready to lose hope in finding my happiness, even if my burdens loom above
-Carly

— The End —