"toxicology" poems
You
were raised
on diesel fuel,
coal dust & corn liquor,
inhaled gnats by the ton.
I
want
you to spit in my mouth,
to taste your toxicology,
to absorb your proteins
& dirt.
Jan 31, 2014
Jan 31, 2014 at 3:49 PM UTC
Percocet
*******
Xanax
OxyNEO
And god knows what else.
You keep telling me “I’m not high I swear! I’m just tired”
But your lips are tinged blue, you have saliva in the creases of your mouth, your body is frail and sickly looking, your skin so white it’s almost transparent. Your eyes are swollen, glossy, and gaunt, your cheeks are sunken, your hair is tangled and unwashed.
“I’m not high I swear!”
But I don’t believe you. How many times have you said that to me only to confess later that you were, that you found a pill and didn’t have the self control not to take it.
“I’m not high I swear”
Yet you randomly smack your head, blurt out random words and nonsense, forget entire conversations, fall asleep mid sentence.
You said you were clean. But the very next day I get a call telling me that you’ve been arrested for a DUI, you had Xanax and Oxyneos in your toxicology report.
I’m afraid to answer my phone when it rings, I always fear it will be the call that tells me you’ve overdosed.
You said “I don’t need to go to rehab, I can quit myself”
But if that were true, you’d be clean by now. It’s been over a year since you told me you were addicted to pills.
At first it was just a perc or two, and now you are a full blown opioid abuser.
You’ve become the thing you hated most. An addict that can’t admit that they have a problem.
“Im not high I swear”
I can’t count how many times you’ve said that, how many times you lied to my face. So many times I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth again.
But I know I will, and I know I’ll go home and cry after and pray to god you wake up tomorrow.
I just want my best friend back, the kind and honest loving girl you use to be.
I’m tired of the you you’ve become.
The girl that lies, that steals, that is wasting away.
If only you never took that first pill.
Feb 17, 2019
Feb 17, 2019 at 8:32 AM UTC
Let me tell you what I've learned about toxicology
My life is toxic and I owe it an apology
Peer Pressure?
Whats that?
Like an invite to get ****** up with friends?
Oh, you should resist that?
I always remember once the night ends
But not much else
Apr 7, 2013
Apr 7, 2013 at 12:36 AM UTC
the beast howls the serpents home
sends fire up the spine of anyone
dare enough to be brave and dare me
terror amplified by the terror it tried
to feed me, a dish of my own tongue
proper etiquette my mouth is mutual
hand gun presently displayed at his funeral
open casket hide the wound he was shooting from
at open lung hide this toxicity toxicology talk
st peter knows opiates like i know opiates
Dec 3, 2013
Dec 3, 2013 at 4:06 PM UTC
There’s been a lot of toxic love before you.
You being pure makes me see it.
Nov 3, 2021
Nov 3, 2021 at 9:23 PM UTC
The weatherman said it was going to rain but he didn’t mention
when it would let up. It’s been raining for years.
I keep telling myself I’m not allowed to be this downpour,
this unhappy
all the time. It doesn’t help.
I don’t want to be brave today. I don’t
want to do the work today. I don’t want to do the work today. I don’t want
to do the work today. I don't want to.
The only thing worth living for is the sunset. I’m letting things
pile up instead of taking care of them. I want to see
how high I can get.
This is the terrible precipice I’ve been peering over.
Everyone/ no one is worried for me.
If I fall on them,
I will be so heavy. And what is it if it isn’t
everyone you take with you on the way down?
I thought I would fall right into the sunshine. I thought I’d be
covered in it.
Oh my god I can’t die yet,
my room isn’t clean.
Look, I brushed my hair.
I got dressed.
See, I'm better now. See?
Sep 23, 2019
Sep 23, 2019 at 4:51 AM UTC
It came thru on a dagger
Spending my last earn faster
Sped up the toxicology to my master
He leans in with a coarse demeanor
Contemplating courses to make it last her
Devils worship in his eyes are blacker
Souls deepen their bloodied grips harder
Speculation drives the people’s brain madder
Insisting on it’s return to the last crater
We push our own to the edge quicker
Lava molding our faces with anger
Desperately gnawing for clarity's charger
Creating glimpses of light for the masses
Nov 19, 2017
Nov 19, 2017 at 11:15 PM UTC
I drank a lot tonight
I feel trapped
I feel trapped
As trapped as I felt that one time locked in your room for hours
As locked as when you stood between me and the door
Did I say locked? I meant trapped
Is that a cop up ahead?
Remember the night I said "Come outside"?
If I died right now I would be free
And it would be so easy too.
They would find my car and do a toxicology report and find that I had drank but just how much?
Only enough to recognize all of this ********
This is only my first time? I must be a natural
Aug 25, 2016
Aug 25, 2016 at 1:35 AM UTC
The flesh of your words are gangrene
Sloughing at the tips
Their inflection an infection
Necrosis apocalypse
Swelling reds and gorging purples
Lack of bloods life flow
Putrid rotting letters
Thrombosis runs the show
Losing membrane integrity
Their fetid smell does waft
Forced fed through the senses
Until we subjugate
I can tell by the smell
Under the perfume
The only thing that they will do
Is lure us to our tombs
So keep your words and parlor tricks
I see them clear as day
Countless ways to contaminate
And weaken all your prey
It's time to tie the tourniquets
At the shoulders and the thighs
The time is now to amputate
This toxicology of lies
Nov 28, 2018
Nov 28, 2018 at 11:37 PM UTC