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Soft, easy to walk on
Pleasant, comfortable
Familial, forgettable
That's carpet.

Hateful, vengeful
Frustrated, ill-intentioned
Always mentioned, enfuriating
That's toxic.

Please love me.
Will you listen to me?
How are you doing?
That's carpet.

Please love me.
I'm empty.
I need you.
That's toxic.

I love you,
I'll do anything for you!
Please command me.
That's carpet.

I deal with your idiocies
I deal with your standards
I conform to fit inside your image.
That's toxic.

Can you hug me in front of
All of these people?
So that they know I'm worth something?
That's carpet.

After you listen to me,
I'll say I'm useless.
I'll say it's not your fault.
That's toxic.

I don't want to ***,
I don't want to talk,
I want you to trust me and tell me everything.
That's carpet.

All I want is ***,
All I need is some warm body.
Give me the fuel I've run out of.
That's toxic.

I'll give you everything
And do whatever you want
For whatever feigned love you can muster.
That's carpet.

I'm ready to conform.
Give me drugs and let me tighten up
While you let loose and accidentally love me.
That's toxic.

I'll text you back immediately.
And patiently await your response.
Rejoice in this moment you did for me.
That's carpet.

Give me advice.
So I can shoot you down.
So I can let you down.
So I can let you drown.
In my toxic civil war
Where I knew no solution would come
From my internal struggle.
But you took a side
And felt the wrath of one of my forces.
I can't help you.
Leave me alone.
That's toxic.

I walk around
By myself late at night.
I text you and say I need you.
Don't worry about where I am.
I needed to be alone,
But now I don't.
I just escaped misery and wanted to
Find you.
Find me,
Or I'll run away.
Block me,
So I can fester.
That's carpet.

Let me give you a million compliments.
Easily.
While you find one for me
And slip a shark a steak
Even though he'll always be hungry.
Sharks barely ever **** humans,
But they're so scary.
It's the hunger, it's the image.
It's not the behavior.
It's not.
The image is hunger.
Always give me more.
That's toxic.

I serve.
I help.
I pleasure, assist, provide
I care, then I care more.
Then I go home and rub off
The disappointment and fear of alone.
Then I care more.
And I wait for the love I give
To come to me.
And I think it will.
That's carpet.

Leave me alone.
Be honest.
That's what I need.
Let your honesty drown you
Because I'm honest too.
And I'll open up the floodgates,
Without remorse.
Sorry if you drown.
I overthink, bottle up, and overshare.
That's toxic.

Please love me.
Please act with me,
Act out the fantasies I have planned.
And re-enact the ones I did.
I'm toxic.
I'm carpet.
That's me.
A poem idea I had, here it is
WGelles Jul 2017
The punitive silences,
the bad atmosphere they generate,
the mind-games they use to try to **** you in
are telltale signs of the toxic person.
It could be your in-laws, a parent, coworker, your boss or spouse,
a sibling, a roommate, boyfriend or girlfriend,
someone you want out of the house.
Toxic people want to make you miserable.
Especially if you're a decent sort, they hone in on you like a heat-seeking missile.
They spew their negativity and blame it on you.
They lie constantly, or twist the facts to suit their changing needs of the moment
and they never apologize (so don't expect an apology, ever).
With a toxic person there is no reciprocity.
They sprinkle their toxic dust on you.  It makes them feel better.
Their ulterior goal is to demean you, to make you feel smaller.
They project their worst tendencies onto you,
find fault with you for traits you don't possess---
a shadow of the **** that lurks inside them.
They try to dictate the emotional atmosphere
through their attitude or twisted mood.
They drain you of your energy, bring you down,
They'll always find a reason why your good news isn't great news.
Their agenda is to cut you down to their size,
to manipulate and control
to ******* over while they play the injured party.

Confront the bully.  Speak up to the manipulator, the trickster, the backstabber.
but beyond a certain point
there is no point in arguing with them.  
Don't try to change the toxic person.  You can't.
You'd have better luck changing an orangutan into **** sapiens.
Only a shrink could change them, and then only if they hit rock-bottom.
Don't try to justify yourself.  It's a waste of time which would only draw you deeper into their net.
Set boundaries to keep their negativity in check.
Stop trying to please them.
Let that toxic somebody in your life know you're onto them
and they can't get away with it anymore.
Don't fall into their trap, don't get caught up in their life-dramas
or try to get them out of trouble.  Don't let them instill guilt in you.
But try not to take their toxicity personally.
Remember, it's them, not you.  You are not to blame
though they desperately want you to feel you've done something wrong.

If necessary (and if possible), delete the toxic person from your life and move on.
Know when enough is enough.
Saying good riddance doesn't necessarily mean you hate them, it means
your own well-being comes first.
Immunize yourself.  Preserve your inner strength.
Set your own rules.
And, when possible, just walk away.
Helena B Nov 2013
Suicides
Snails swim in salt
Fish fly out of water
Toxic
Toxic
Toxic

Birds stay North for the winter
People trying to swim in the snow
Hypothermia
A slight burn to the nose

Suicides
A rabbit painted yellow
Waiting openly in a field
Flowers remain blossomed
In the frosted winter
A frozen death is brought upon them
Toxic
Toxic
Toxic

Teenagers drinking
Frequently every weekend
Nicotine addictions
Replaced with weeks full of sadness
Withdraw
Withdraw
Withdraw

Suicides
Taking a risk behind the wheel
Never hoping for survival
Diving into shark infested waters
A whole lifetime without breathing
Toxic
Toxic
Toxic

Major addictions
For a feeling
A feeling of magic
Of surreal living
Addicted to an alternative reality
Without a pause
No withdraws
No withdraws
soph Jun 2018
A toxic person
Living off of a wonderful woman
Like a parasite
Feeding off of her good nature
Toxic substances
Constantly coursing through his veins
Becoming less and less humane
And more and more monstrous
She was trapped
He played his games
The supposed love of her life
Cancer didn’t bring him down
Cancer made the leech only stronger
Until finally
One last substance
One last toxic substance
Was his downfall
How do you even mourn
When this man
Abused with pride
Abused the woman
Abused the drugs
Abused the system
Leaving the woman behind
Leaving his daughter behind
Toxic
Toxic
Toxic
Somehow
The woman fell in love
With that toxic man
Giving up herself in the process
Now
She cries
She’s empty
The emptiness will linger
But soon
She will realize
She’s free
Free from the abuse
Free from the parasite
Free from the toxicity
my mom’s best friend (I’m really close to her too) has been dating this AWFUL man for years. he died today after overdosing and it’s giving me lots of conflicting thoughts. how DO you mourn for this man that ****** the life out of someone you love? he treated her like garbage up until the day he died, yet she is heartbroken. life is weird
Emma Chatonoir Nov 2014
Claiming to be nonjudgmental
She scrolls through her social networks
Looking at photos of people she's met
Maybe once or twice
She scrolls through her social networks
Mindlessly viewing content
Maybe once or twice
Does she understand it
Mindlessly viewing content
Just to pass the time
Does she understand it
Of course not, she's idle
Just to pass the time
Does she act productive?
Of course not, she's idle
She must learn
Does she act productive?
Or just view mindless gossip?
She must learn
Of everything going on
Or just view mindless gossip?
Who cares what they wore
Of everything going on
Fashion is irrelevant
Who cares what they wore
Or even if it matched
Fashion is irrelevant
Why does she care?
Or even if it matched
Why would she pay attention?
Why does she care?
Is it just the thrill of knowing?
Why would she pay attention?
She won't remember in five years
Is it just the thrill of knowing?
A peek into the life
She won't remember in five years
The millions of pictures she saw
A peek into the life
Of a stranger
The millions of pictures she saw
Talked about with her friends
Of a stranger
So easily forgotten
Talked about with her friends
Insults to the subject
So easily forgotten
But still bitter
Insults to the subject
Are viewed as humor
But still bitter
As they cast a negative light
Are viewed as humor
When everyone knows what happened
As they cast a negative light
From being in the know
When everyone knows what happened
Something little is a big deal
From being in the know
Negativity spreads faster
Something little is a big deal
And painted as a bad thing
Negativity spreads faster
Positivity comes slowly
And painted as a bad thing
Is the shaming that comes
Positivity comes slowly
Good things are boring
Is the shaming that comes
Truly human nature
Good things are boring
But they should be building
Truly human nature
Is to talk to others
But they should be building
Healthy relationships
Is to talk to others
To cast someone in a bad light
Healthy relationships
More like toxic gossip
To cast someone in a bad light
Is a sin
More like toxic gossip
People should be nice
Is a sin
The act of judging
People should be nice
It helps others
The act of judging
Stems from social media
It helps others
Learn to gossip
Stems from social media
Are the mean words of today
Learn to gossip
And you'll say them too
Are the mean words of today
To be replaced with nice words of tomorrow
And you'll say them too
To help others?
To be replaced with the nice words of tomorrow
Looking at photos of people she's met
Giving them compliments
Claiming to be nonjudgmental.
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
- Ephesians 4:29
Anna Patricia Mar 2016
You're toxic.

You're the extra number in H2O2
Seemingly harmless,
But deadly. Combustible.

You're toxic.

You're the thought
That started killing
In the name of God.

You're toxic.

You're Helen of Sparta,
Or Troy, if you will.
Without the supposed beauty or skill.

You're Toxic.

You **** everything you touch.
Flowers suffocate
When they share your air.

You're toxic.
Untitled Apr 2014
Contagious words
Toxic veins
Tender eyes
Blossoming chains

Contagious words
Toxic veins
Unrestrainable pulse
Everlasting stains

Contagious words
Toxic veins
Empty souls
Vacant trains

Contagious words
Toxic veins
Hollow souls
& Manipulated brains
Megan H Dec 2015
Toxic lies
Coming out of your mouth
Your toxic love
Covering me in faux happiness
The toxic substances
I've had to consume
To get your toxic personality
Out of my head
Euphoria Sep 2015
Toxic.
You were a posion to my heart
I should have known from the start.

Toxic.
Breathing the same air as you sickens me.
Breathing gets harder with the face I see.

Toxic.
I'm dying inside,
Every night with my eyes wide.

Toxic.
When did you become a poison?
You took away all my reason.

Toxic.
Intoxicated with treacherous love,
You took everything I have.
You're a toxic to my life.
Rob Sandman Mar 2016
You’re a poisoned rose in a wedding band,
A glad eye with a stabbing hand,
A tumour ,vicious rumour surrounds you,
BP Exxon -death abounds you,
I first found you amusing and witty,
cutting remarks a stick with both ends ******-

Gutter scumbag with a glaze of charm,
Only interested in doing harm,
A sociopath with a crocodile smile,
always had the last laugh,- real fight? Run a mile,
Backstabber Judas priest,but **** was I deceived,
Each Lie you sold I truly believed.

I stood by you ,defended you til the bitter end,
Bitter irony I know,with you as a friend,
Who the **** needs enemies, its all a front,
An affront to my instincts,get out of my life you ****.

chorus

"My toxic friend this is the end get out of my life for good,
Every time you smile a child dies you’re up to no good,
Don’t call me-text me unfriend me before you end me,
You’re the epitome of the new word-Frenemy."

Now I hear you’re spreading rumours behind my back,
Bad move,wrong play better stand back,
Your malicious manouevery no longer stands,
I’m two steps ahead your end is planned.

You better watch your back,you’ve got no back up and no spine,
Juggling hedgehog maze lies through a field of land mines,
I’ve got my eye on you ex pal,don’t worry your time’s come,
we’ll see who can outrun the .45 from a gun,
That you’ve been begging for for years no tears at your end,
You’re a poxy oxymoron my toxic friend.

So come out to play my way and see who draws first,
I guarantee you a surprise not my blood burst,
Flying in the air like a hose god only knows,
You’re a fly in my eye a burr under my skin so out she goes,
The left that hits your jaw will saw your head from your neck
You talk a good fight,good night,I’ll leave ya wrecked.

chorus

"My toxic friend this is the end get out of my life for good,
Every time you smile an angel loses wings you’re no good,
Don’t call me-text me unfriend me before you end me,
You’re the epitome of the new word-Frenemy."
This is a Song I wrote for a female singer  that I forgot about...any takers?
polka Jan 2018
have you ever put yourself in the middle of a toxic relationship?
what a curious question to ask,
probably not, no, no.

because you love yourself,
or at least, have the basic instincts
of self-preservation
or maybe you're equipped to handle these things
well, i wasn't.

being in the middle of a toxic relationship,
things tend to be warped.
you aren't dealing with an unstoppable force
and an immovable object
but rather, two immovable objects
and two unstoppable forces
simultaneously.

you're usually forced to pick a side
no matter how adamant you are about
how there is no "side", i tell them,
i tell them,
there is you, and there is you, and there is me,
and you've brought me here to help
not to harm
and the weird notion that there ever was a "side"
in something that is supposed to be a relationship,
is nothing but harmful,
detriment, painful,
unhelpful.

but, this does little to nothing,
because in the middle of a toxic relationship,
the two are worn down,
torn down,
stripped bare until you have their most inner instincts
their most inner thoughts,
their inner child,
and we all know
a child doesn't listen

in the middle of a toxic relationship,
the only thing they can seem to agree on
is when i'm wrong, when i've done bad,
when i'm in the wrong

but when you've been in the middle of a toxic relationship
for long enough,
it eventually wears you down, to the point where you're patience is gone,
finished,
extinct,
and eventually, you're forced to choose a side

when you're in a toxic relationship,
my advice,
is to run.
Classy J Sep 2016
Walking around with socks in Croc's looking so fly, with my expensive Starbucks and saggy ears from the extensions I put in a couple years ago, I wish that in my youth I never strived for getting high. I wanted to be cool with a man bun and ugly tatts, had a beanie cap but I could go back I would never let myself do that. Wife beaters, sometimes with preppy jeans or short, I was styling but now I find myself in court. I could never find any good jobs because of the stupid **** I did to fit in, I'm scarred to go to jail, and I know that I'll be a **** buddy to all those perverts looking at me with their demonic grins. Why did I roll with what society and my friends were handing out, and now I'm in a jam and I know there's no getting out. Groupies always riding with me, but now none of them are here to see me, alone with no way to be free. So much regrets, how did my life end up in such disaster, I can blame my family and friends or God even though I know I'm just as much to blame for this calamity, and that I can be somewhat of a ****** cheeky *******. Toxic, this whole thing is just so toxic, and I'm so sick and I know it just how it goes, even though sometimes I know that I can be as stubborn as a brick. Only seeing **** from the bridge of my nose, didn't give a **** about purity, I just slept with a whole bunch of hoes. Smocking ****, drinking a whole lot of jack Daniels and Hennessey, popped some Molly's, man I swear every time I did I felt like I was in the land of Disney. Looking back at my life is so dizzying, teacups go round and round, circle of life, and in the center of it all I was a god, I was king. Self centered and self afflicted, I couldn't handle my problems so I did drugs and now I'm too addicted. So toxic, but I can't stop it, I have tried to become clean but eventually I would always run back to it. Chasing a dream, face all white from all the *******, and its all the same, thinking I was a real g when I went to the ******* and made it rain. ***** all day, ***** all night, till I ran out of money, and all of them flew away from me like they was a runaway kite. Toxic, I just was so ****** up, thought I was so tough, but when it came to defending myself I couldn't buck up. Faded phases, just a maze rat running through all of society's test mazes. Peer pressure, societal pressure, intoxicating my mind, but what I'm left with is nothing, I must have been out of my mind. Adult crimes, adult decisions, not some punk kid anymore with no restrictions. Don't define yourself by what others do, just be you and do what you want to do. Everyone makes mistakes, don't do anything you'll later regret and I know its hard but I believe you can cut through all the worlds toxic filled snakes. Life isn't fair nor is it equal, and we are not a perfect people, but with perseverance and hope we can have a good sequel. Change happens, life moves fast, but if we keep in the toxins that are killing us and this world we won't be able to last.
Madzq Oct 2014
Malicious destruction
In childlike confusion.
A twisted affair
Left both so unaware.
Their bodies met without a care.
A mindless lust
Crushed into abyss...

I tried to scratch the poison out
All those years ago.
Thought I had bled you out,
All of this, everything about you, go.

You and I: a poison
Toxic
Rabid chaos
A deadly end.
Toxic
Unsatiated desire
Neither of us could quench
Toxic.

To my surprise
And our sweet demise,
Each other, once again we found.
Indescribable pleasure,
A rekindled fire.
Our bodies met without a care.
Mindless lust
Crashed to the ground.
You and I: a poison.
Toxic.... Till the end.
Do not succumb to your addiction.
Amanda Jean Jan 2011
He says I'm toxic
But loves me still

Truth is...
You're my poison too
Every brush of our lips intoxicates me
Craving your taste
I'll give into pleasure
Clawing, stroking, licking
Spreading the disease

Toxic girl-
Poisonous boy
Every inch of my body tainted
Racing through my veins
The poison sets in


Truth is baby...
You poison me
Now-
I wanna infect you
Realeboga M Feb 2018
One day you will hold the greatest love for a toxic relationship.
Although I need to get us out of the mindset that a toxic relationship refers to a love interest.

Most times we resonate in a toxic environment due to family or friendships. And as much as we don’t want to believe that, as much as we don’t want accept such predicaments it’s true.

There exists people that were meant to be there at a specific time to help you realize something. And it happens to be that they weren’t meant to stay, so a cloud of darkness surrounds your relationship as they develop into their true self.

For that you will look for reasons to stay and blind your conscience in order to keep this relationship and it’ll tear you to bits.
Your mind will form assumptions that people change and this is because of outside influence, New squad pressure or the environment is forcing them to.

Frankly I don’t believe that people change, I believe that we develop into who we are meant to be, into our true selves. So I had to remind myself that I cannot come up with anymore excuses, I need to leave this toxicity and save myself.  I also had to remember that if neither of us walks out, we’ll be toxic to one another. I couldn’t bear to hurt myself by constantly holding you back.

If you ever feel bad from walking away from a toxic relationship. Trust me you not only saved yourself but you freed the other person to find their own saving.
Garrett Jun 2013
You glow
Your radiated purple hue
Just touching you multiplies my atoms
Just touching your pedal is cancerous

I grew you in a chemical spill
I watered you every day
With my dappling of sunshine
I hoped to elevate your foliage

You kept reaching out
You reached for more nature
Until your sickly festered roots
Tore you in another direction

You grew towards a reactor
Beyond the need for gardening
You grew towards the processing plant
Beyond the dappling of sunshine

You keep growing and growing
But you won't grow anywhere
But further into your toxic
Pedals never face the sunshine

All you want is clean rain you say
All you want is some sun
All you do is lay there in the waste
All you do is wait for it to be done

All you do is grow mutant fruit
All you do is grow your thorns
I'm trying to live in the sunlight here
While a new gardener collects your scorn

I threw fertilizer over toxic waste
I gave it some fresh new earth
I planted roses in your place
I allowed my garden rebirth

The roses are coming in just fine
I'll expect them still next June
They grow towards sunlight every day
They're my positive giving negative prune

I hope you like to wasteland
I hope you like the sun at your back
I'll keep growing my Fresh Roses
I can't grow your Toxic Lilac
"She's a stronger person than I have ever had the pleasure to know.
I'm just glad I found a new flower to grow."

You blog about your depression and your boyfriend and how lowly you think of yourself and how no-one cares and how you starve yourself. All I wanted was your happiness but it feels like you needlessly suffer.
Akanksha Raizada Jan 2019
The qualities for which i fall for you
are not anymore!!!!
I fall for your cuteness, mature behaviour and helping nature!!!!
I found a true person in you..
But after I came close to you i observe changes in you, may be i am toxic for you....
You start lieing, you became selfish
Maybe this is because i am toxic for you.
Wondering Am I actually toxic for you!!!!
y i k e s Apr 2014
and i'll love you from afar

because

getting too close is

far too

toxic
Family is that  familiar word for the go-getters, the thoroughbreds of the families, those nearest and dearest applaud the strong to thrive, and yet a painful  forgotten word, for the lost generation,  ignored and despised,special and different, terminally unique, were only as strong as our weakest link lost black sheep and shepherds sanity on the brink of exposing the lies, waiting for the train that will never come to the station;
In time...

Forget
About
ME
I
LOVE
You

Screaming "Do I even exist? ******* LOVE ME!"As he tightens his headlock, begging to be loved, from a desperate rage of rejection.

"But why won't you love me the way that you don't? I'm a lovable hopeless drunk loser ,who hasn't washed in months, I'll be the prodigal son  if you want ,coming home and we can sit at the table for lunch ...wishful thinking! If only! you could love me unconditionally ,and not just on a hunch!
If  you want me, Just a touch of acknowledgement will do! I'll give you my soul on my sleeve, just some crumbs from your lofty plinth, to my slum will suffice!
I'm so ******* lost in the dark of the night, I forgot I was looking for love  and soulmates at first sight!"

Screaming to be acknowledged from the four corners of the globe since time began, everybody knows there's a pink elephant in the room being ignored, like the emperors new clothes.  Couples desperate to procreate, using frozen embryos. Those still remembered ,who died ages ago,
Forget me not , everyone wants to be known,Everyone misses someone, and children yearn to be grown. Don't forget all those lost childhoods, Once my heart was my home, a long long; long time ago!The machine advertises  the have's and the have not's ...all those special qualities, some of us just don't got.... were what's  lacking in our family units cost... and immediate vicinities. Thank God for the internet, hounding us  to forget our inherent need to be loved and belong, feeding us with toxic seeds of disconnected, anti-life and discombobulated lifelong wrongs, from  a plethora of sources transmitting The current Perfect archetypal family systems ,propagated  through the myriad of deadman tv shows, and films ,promoting an unblemished, should be family values and traditions, most of us know we will never live to experience. Force feeding us with a yearning of an unachievable contentment in our innocence , hoping in our wildest dreams ,we try to ignore the facts displayed in the constant narrative dictated through the mean instrument of mental emotional and spiritual propaganda...**** your tv licenceS! and smash the ******* thing into public artistic scenes!, smash them into smithereens!don't be ambivalent! No one wants to sit down on the fence as a family and watch on the screen the colour purple riddled with ****** and seriously toxic themes for participants.

Forgotten and ignored are the origins of the word family... famula-serving woman or famulante-servant or even familiarcus -house hold slave...So it should come as no surprise that the human race has been plagued and fractured with slavery throughout our brief brutal AGE.From a creative perspective I can understand the widespread epidemic curse in the hearts and minds of manhate and mankind,of the feeling that we do not belong to our very own families our communities and the societies structured to evoke the black sheep syndrome .It is this lack of feeling apart of, and that we do not exist , that has inspired an overwhelming need for us to persist and create our own families,tribes,gangs,communities, groups and fellowships. From the tower of babel, its as if  we have  been programmed to automatically divided, segregate and become as alien as possible to each other sides.Separating cultures with borders and religion,class and access all areas for members only. Blood is running through my body just like yours, and I done a big massive **** this morning! Do you identify? Nothing like a good ****!
This has become one of the defining factors of the human experience our evolutionary process and diversity.Not our **** similarities! Yet it is these differences that have caused over a billion to be killed! Thats a lot of hate and anger,pain and suffering ...And I'm adding up everyone whos ever been killed because of there differences...Just imagine?..Its probably a lot more! why can't we just get along? and stop all the wars? Everybody wants to be right, Everybody yearns to be wanted ,needed and loved,to feel they exist and that they belong.But with a record number of divorces,broken families and runaways in a culture spiraling further and further away from the original family structures intention, where do we go from here?What is our inheritance? Why do we always fight over money? Why not just care to dare to share?

I find in this day and age, we the broken human family, searching for all these possibilities of experiencing the human experience in the wrong social utilities . Such as gang warfare,militia, online gaming and the plethora of virtual communities available from facebook and myspace to mental health and suicide forums, social toxic rearing, which mimic a sense of divergence,preference, belonging and being apart of something other than feeling so alone! Which in reality we are!  Deepening our deepest wounds the one thing that we yearn for more than anything on the face of the earth is to feel connected,wanted ,needed and loved, everything a family is supposed to provide, not ruin and despise.

The most horrific emotions, I have ever felt was the rejection and abandonment by my mother, when I was just a special wild child, the terror and dread of not being wanted was horrific, and created a deeply destructive state which infected my core, and has grown into a great toxic spiritual tumor 30 years later. I fear I will never get over it! With my head in the sand, so many relevant individual grains just swept under the carpet like a hidden beach, and so I search for the love I was denied in a thousand ways and a million times I seek. From hunting for my mothers love in another woman or a man. I can't even begin to explain the pain my father inflicted upon me. lest I curl into a ball and die right now! Its as if he hated me more than words ,and yet I loved him so much. Left me seeking comfort in despair in the pit in the belly of the beast, through alcoholism and addiction of every kind! none of these methods was sufficient in filling the void inside,The hole in my soul can't breathe,for all to see, especially me ,can't hide but only these things expanded it , creating a deeper hunger and leaving me more broken and empty. My desperation to remain part of the family was displayed in my familiar slave like demeanour(desperate to please my mother) by cleaning the whole house  from top to bottom with a toothbrush. I would lose myself in the neverending chores, it was never a bore, as long as mother didn't let me go, but it was never enough, and it seems as if I was doomed to be a cast out! on my own, exposed to the harsh reality of being alone my worst nightmare coming true... me dying from loneliness! They say its true! and I can understand now how that could be possible ....

There are so many different types of families, and ways for us to feel as if we are connected to a greater community, to feel as if we fit in. But often children grow without a father figure to balance ,protect and nurture them ,lead them! But what if there father is a drunken ,violent,gambling ,deranged bully? what then? Surely they would be better off without such a toxic head of the family, infecting his sons and daughters with the sins of the father. Who of us is cursed with being the blacksheep of the family ? having to toil for the rest of our days in the vastness of our existence, primarily alone ,we search in vain for surrogate mothers and sisters and fathers and brothers. But we find them not, because substitution will never suffice in order for us to truly count and heal within and feel alive ! We must heal this broken bridge that has crippled us to the core in our very short miserable lives.

Its up to us to give love where we have been denied. Invite the broken souls inside, shelter them from the  bitter cold, Just to see another friendly face can mean so much! why is life so tough?, leave us like Lazarus risen from the grave,or Adam and Eve and able and cain to the prodigal son, we have always suffered when we were on our own and alone, I know you prefer your own company, but we were born to surpass ourselves and continue to co-exist beyond our own morality...Ub3
Ruthie Oct 2014
We like to fill our bodies with toxic substances.
I understand us so much better now.
celestial Mar 2014
you were the de(f)inition of
toxic.

yo(u) took control
and never let go,
with a (c)onstant
deathly grip on my soul.

could you have been
any more aggressive?
only god (k)nows.

but i know one thing.
i left (y)ou,
as soon as i c(o)uld,
and
i'm
f(u)cking glad i did.
(read the italicized / brackets)
MeanAileen Mar 2017
It's my best friend,
and my nightmere-
it's all that I love
and everything I fear.
It's my fulfillment,
my bottomless sorrow-
bringing dark thoughts
of no tomorrow.
It's my strength,
my greatest plight-
this evil addiction
I try to fight.
It's my oblivion,
my heartbreaking pain-
a toxic cloud
that's killing my brain.
It's my protection,
my paranoid lies-
the Devil himself
in crystal disguise.
It's my sanity,
my endless strife-
this methamphetamine
destroying my life.
It's my reality,
my make-believe bliss-
I just never imagined
I would end up like this....
Truth be told....
Julie Grenness May 2016
"What are toxic time bombs?
I wonder, with no aplomb,
Old garbage and refuse tips,
Legacy landfills, full of blip,
Damaging environmentally,
So much for sustainability,
All the overflow of society,
How do we correct such wrongs?
All these toxic time bombs..........
FEEDBACK WELCOME.
Black surges, forges piling emotion,
Foraging, attaining such predicted erosion.
Color the rubies to a diluted amber,
Brittle, dripped gems are toxic, I clamber
To the lamp as to see my implicit devotion.

Vitals ascend, and I can't perceive
This motionless forfeit I often receive.
Aid is essential, it holds potential,
To cure this conflicted, addicted vessel.
My heart on my sleeve, I'm undeceived.

I implore to explore, as breath, I leave,
So close to dying, I'm on the eve
Of darker clothing, and flowers to family,
Hallucinate my abnormalities.
Yet somehow, I am still on my feet-
All feedback is welcome and appreciated.
RF Jul 2014
Gay
If I wasn't gay would people care?
Would they actually let me breath the same air?
Could I actually go to school,
without people being so cruel?
Could I live in a world with no hate?
Maybe people would love me if I was straight.
It's not as easy as people think.
I can't just go to a shrink.
I didn't choose to be this way.
You really think I'd want to be gay?
I don't want attention,
I don't want fame.
This isn't some sort of game.
I am who I am and thats okay.
Most people don't see it that way.
I only wish I could be the same.
To have a wedding and it not be shamed.
I want to have kids and not be judged.
I don't want my reputation smudged.
But apparently I'm different now.
Sick in the head somehow.
Therapy and shock treatment for something that can't be fixed.
How did I get put into this mix?
Toxic and tragic,
that's my life.  
It's like I was stabbed in the back with a knife.
I'm gay,
what's wrong with that?
I get treated like some rat.
Using your holy books and your religion.
To fight against something that makes no difference.
I want to be a human not a punching bag.
Always getting called a ***.
Let that word have power and it gets to you.
But that words as good as whatever is stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I love being this way.
I don't care what you say.
It’s 2am and you’re in my head
I hate you I swear I do
I love you
I thought you loved me
we know what happened next
I fell
I died on the inside
then you come sneaking right back up next to me
You say you’re sorry
I fall for it every time
I miss you I do
I love you
I love you I know I probably sound like a love sick
crazed person
I miss you you with all my heart
I need you
I’m giving up on finding you
you are still my everything
you are my liar
my favorite liar
I’ve lost you again and again
It’s over this time
It’s done
I’m letting you go
I have to let go
I’m going to fly away
you’ve taken away one too many things
from me
leave me alone you monster
you dragged me down while I was already drowning
It was my time to fly
you broke my wings
you stole them from me
now I’m trapped in this hell we call earth
all alone
afraid
broken
toxic to everything I touch
toxic
that’s the monster you’ve created
a toxic shadow
toxic
that’s me
Look to the person on your left
And to the person on your right
And pull out your phone, and look at yourself through the reflection of your screen

Each one of you has been affected by toxic masculinity

If you looked and saw a woman,
You saw a victim, someone
Who's been tied down and told what to do
To stand in the kitchen and do the dishes
While the man stays in the other room with the TV
And has an affair with the sofa

I hear the two of them are happily married now,
In fact, the couch and the man are inseparable

The man becomes the couch, and the couch becomes the man
defiling that once holy entrance to that place you used to be able to call a home

When you were younger, you couldn't have known what the world would tell you you are
But now that you've grown up, you felt the pains and gained the scars
Now you know where the world wants you, and what role you play
On this stage, where the director's decrepit creaking hands come and defile you,
You holy sacred place.

He sits there and pays no attention to the hardwork going on adjacent to him
His thoughts are confined to whatever pretty colors and captivating sounds float across that screen
His eye lids shut only to keep from having a drought because he does not contemplate
He just sits there and waits for you to be done making his dinner for him

And what if he's working in the other room, and you can't see it, is there some sort of redemption for this man?
I cannot say, but he cannot expect to stand to the side of his life, pretending he has no emotions, teaching his sons that this is acceptable behavior,

Stop sinking into oblivion!

And when the woman speaks up and expresses these buried emotions, hurt ones, she is antagonized, like
Isn't this just another ***** with her crazy feelings?
Like shouldn't she be watching so that the chicken doesn't burn on the stove?
Like what happens if I let my guard down and let her in
And acknowledge that she is a human being?

The man says he can't do that
He can't lose his power in the situation
So he tells her those feelings she has are invalid
He makes her feel like the antagonist of the story of this man's life
And the only reason she stays with him is because she's developed Stockholm syndrome
And she doesn't want to be alone
And because if she's heterosexual, this version of a human being is the only one that's so readily available to her,
The kind that treats her like garbage, disposable, unable to have her damnable emotions redeemed

But a critique of something doesn't merit doubling down on that ideology you grew up with,
It merits its changing
So,

Men in the room, hear me now

You are victims too!

You are told to keep it in, keep the tears back
To stand up straight, to provide, to not show any weakness,
But you are most strong when you acknowledge those weaknesses openly
And possibly discover that some of them aren't even weaknesses
They're just a part of being human

And this trend is so hard to break, so hard to crack through stone that was laid 22,000 years ago
But here we are
The buck can stop with us

We can stop antagonizing
We can start acknowledging
We can stop treating people as subhuman when they express emotion
We can start skipping in the streets and holding each other's hands

Because there's nothing masculine
About treating other humans like ****

We can eventually reclaim that word, but first it has to be exposed for all the harm it's done

Look to your right
Now look to your left
And look at your phone again

Each of one you can be a part of the solution
Not a part of the propagation of bad myths
This is the script to another talk poem that I wrote but never published.
silli Mar 2015
My stomach turned upside down
and inside and out
It felt like toxins
but in a good way
see I burnt away a layer of my skin
it was itching me
it was dry
it made me fell disgusting
I looked at myself and all I could see was this skin
looked like it was dipped in toxic
But a cure came around
it came in bunches
or a single pack
its sizes ranged from big to small
the cure surrounded me
it held me tight
it kept telling me to let the skin go
but I didn't know who I was with out it
But the cure showed me who I was with it
and as I let the toxic skin fall
I felt toxins in the air
it was clean
it was fresh
and I was unaware
this was what it was like
to be *free
My stomach felt as if it dropped when I let that toxic person go. Not dropped like of a bridge and ending with pain, but more liked jumped, and I can fly.
Toxic people are an experience in life! A lesson everyone should learn but not twice.
For once is enough for a lifetime.
So twice would surely take the rest my time!
It is just like stairing at the sun
Can be hard to see but the sooner you stop you have won
Theres toxic friends toxic family and toxic lovers
Constant selfish acts are usually how they are uncovered
You will see its just life's timing
And theres usually no silver lining
Its these lessons that will thicken your skin
If to many times you'll let no one in.
Whether the Voyage of the ship was long or short
Try to notice the ship sinking and abort
Remember toxic people are a lesson in life.
A lesson everyone will learn take my advice
Ivan Brooks Sr Jan 2018
The world's gone mad but my mind is made up.
Time to let ya'll into the darkroom of my mind,
A place where I'm the referee of a poetic world cup.
This is where I am creative even though I'm blind
Don't get me wrong I am not leaving from town.
No more radio or TV saturated with all the sad news,
I have got enough breaking news of my very own...
Breaking to me each and every moment as it brews.
Come and meet the hard drive of my creative doom,
That contains my beautiful and liberated mind.
Welcome to my one bright side I call my darkroom,
It's a place that's so special, I reckon it's one of a kind.

You have to know that I always act blind but I see.
In my mind, I can walk stack naked and levitate.
My mind is where I remain totally black and free.
Come join me set my poetic dial and help me activate,
The code that will outshine any power on this earth.
My mind is where I live and where nobody has access,
Here I can run a poetic marathon without taking a breath,
Call it my playground and intellectual fortress.

My mind is deep, a place of absolute calm and refuge,
Somewhere I will always see as the final frontier.
It is dangerous and toxic like a nuclear centrifuge.
In there, I am all alert and vigilant like a soldier.
My mind is a darkroom where I give birth to new ideas.
It is a vessel and place in which I do magic with letters.
It is my holy land of thoughts, my own creative Judea,
Where each idea is sacred and light as bird feathers.

Welcome to the epicenter of my creative mind.
This is where I turn letters into spoken words
A front line of creativity where no one leaves behind.
Come and see where all words become useful swords.
My mind produces powerful words like some light beams...
Courageous and powerful words for extra motivation.
Spoken Words that will light up people's faded dreams.
Now you know that up in my mind are no limitation,
There exists an enormous capacity of time and space.
Welcome one, welcome all to the darkroom of my mind
Take a seat and be calm, be quiet this is my place
For this here is my personal creative post of command.



www.poemhunter.com/IvanBrookssr
#Vanguard-poetry23
#IvanBrookspoetry
twitter @ivanclappers
@Bassapoet
My mind is the final frontier..the bright side I call my darkroom where I process loose letters into spoken words.
Kerri Jul 2015
The sweet, toxic smell of her perfume
like poisonous berries
seeps through my veins,
saturates my heart,
and floats in my memory,
like that last sip of wine
before the haze.
Rocking my inner being
and tickling my carnal sensations,
until my body is as awake
as my soul is.
Cradled in her lingering scent
until it wafts away as she does,
leaving me lifeless on the floor.
Brynn Louise May 2014
I'm feeling a little bit, self-destructive.
I'm feeling a little bit, stupid and careless.
But that's alright,
But that's okay.
Because you're right there,
And that's exactly what you are.

So what do you say?
You want to start something toxic?
You want to start something dangerous?
Start something we won't want to stop
Until it's far too late.
We'll be pieces on the floor,
Scattered everywhere.
Won't be able to tell what's yours
And what is mine.

But that's alright,
But that's okay.
Somebody else can pick up those pieces.

I'm feeling a little bit, self-destructive.
I'm feeling a little bit, stupid and careless.
But that's alright,
But that's okay.
Because you're right there,
And that's exactly what you are.
So what do you say?
You want to start something toxic?

Oh, my!
Andrew Rueter Oct 2017
What I'm imagining isn't considered pretty
You don't want to know where you're sitting
What I'm imagining isn't considered pleasant
We're inappropriately using a pheasant
What I'm imagining doesn't go with God
And is laughed at because it's odd

Into my life they peer
Trying to insert fear
My owl head on a swivel
My rabbit ears perked
When people don't act civil
And decency is shirked

I needed answers
For my cancer
I find them in love and pain
They both seem the same
I begin to view the rain
As a type of gain

Everyone knows love's scorn
Which leaves me torn
I can't help but feel my situation differs
Something about the rejection seems stiffer
So I become a shapeshifter
To avoid the hate gifters
To avoid bearing the shame
Of being called names

I know other people have it worse
Sometimes that feels like a curse
I can't gauge the importance of major events
In my life
I don't know whether to think they're intense
Or just right

Maybe I'm just being dramatic
But these instances aren't sporadic
When those that I love
Push and shove
I start to wonder if I'm broken or stained
Until I realize we're all burnt by love's flames
We all have a path to travel
And they're all made of gravel
Our feet become sore
Which affects our core
We find people below us on the totem pole
To know how it feels to treat someone cold
For when our enthusiasm for love has faded
It's easy to become jaded

There are things we're ashamed of
That morph us into something unrecognizable
In which we should be truly ashamed
In the mirror we look the same
But our actions are toxic
We become radioactive
We see where our stock sits
And become merely reactive
And it's hard to find grace
After being punched in the face
But one must remember punches come in all forms
And we must not punch back to survive the storm
CA Guilfoyle Aug 2012
Chemicals - hexafluorosilicic acid and sodium fluorosilicate
Derived from the phosphate mining industry,
both considered highly toxic by the EPA
These hazardous wastes are dumped into drinking water
LIES ... Fluoride - it's so good for your teeth
lies the dentist, lies the doctor, lies the politician
Lies the dead fish
in the water
This is more of a rant, than a poem - I am quite upset, as I have just learned that some morons are trying to get fluoride put in our pristine water here in Portland, OR. If you care to educate yourself about most drinking water around the country and where fluoride is derived from, here is one bit of info.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEZ15m-D_n8
NitaAnn Aug 2013
What do you do when you love someone toxic?

Every time I speak with him,
He poisons a little more of my soul.
One step forward, two reeling stumbles back.
I shouldn't love him.
I shouldn't give him a second of my time
Or even a second thought.
I shouldn't even speak to him.
But he calls and I answer.

Maybe today is the day
He will tell me how sorry he is;
How wrong he has been.
He tells me how sorry he is,
Just not in the way I wish.
Thirty seconds, that is all I gave him.
In thirty seconds he has reduced me
To his *****, his obsession, his hole.

My head and my heart scream to hang up.
I do and I go about my day pretending that I'm fine.
In reality, I reek of shame and self-loathing.
I am toxic and I fear the fumes
Will reveal who he has wished me to be.

I hate him.
I hate what he did.
I hate what he does.
Yet, despite my hatred I am addicted to hope.
Just one last time, one last chance.
I will answer one last time.
But deep inside I know what I have always known:
he is never going to change.
He is sick.
He is toxic.

He does not love me.
He loves to control me.
He doesn't even love the idea of me.
I have never even been "me" with him, only an object.
From his mouth he spews words and phrases
That should never be uttered aloud.
Or to your own daughter.
Even after 10 years of abuse and 30 years of seeing that he is never going to change and be the father I longed for as a child, I still cannot let go of the slim chance that this time things will be different.

— The End —