"shoul" poems
There's a friend--
Why JUST a friend?
BeCause she said.
There's a girL--
Why JUST a girl?
Because i said.
You're just A boy.
That...
I won't deny
Who do yoU want?
i don't know.
Who shoulD you want?
That's too easy.
"Pick a Side"
"mIx em"
Well, there's
a challenge
a chase
an obsession
...It's fleeing
Or, Am I?
Nov 15, 2013
Nov 15, 2013 at 4:02 PM UTC
I don't think you understand.
I love you.
You are my stepmother
(Not wicked at all no matter what Brother says)
How could I not?
But you think I am ungrateful, rotten, trash on your shoes.
It must be true (you would never lie).
So I must ask,
How do I change?
I will change everything about myself for you,
So you will love me too.
You would never be so cruel as to stop me from doing this,
Would you?
So the question remains,
What shoul I do?
I will ****** steal, vandalize, and injure.
All for you, Stepmother.
I love you.
Why don't you love me too?
Nov 7, 2015
Nov 7, 2015 at 8:54 PM UTC
**Bumblebee buzzing
From flower to my shoulder
Don’t pollinate me**
Sep 14, 2011
Sep 14, 2011 at 7:05 PM UTC
i should've known better
maybe it's the words you poured into me
it felt like alcohol and i didn't mind that
even though i was sober for 2 years and 2 months
there were whispers of panic and shivers of error
but i ignored them all
i shoul've known better
what happens when you don't listen to warnings
is that the storm comes faster than expected
you left faster than a hurricane racing a mustang on a highway
i should've known better
weeks after, feeling like centuries
i realize that she meant more to you than just a friend
she was your light; the sun
i was a mere shadow
i should've known better
Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 5:21 PM UTC
It is not an excuse, but it is a reason.
It is not your fault that I am not strong enough to stop this thing I do.
This thing that hurts the both of us, but it really hurts you.
Part of me thought you already knew.
I convinced myself that you’d picked up on the subtle hints I’d dropped on your feet like soggy feathers.
I don’t need you to forgive me.
I need you to do what will make you okay.
I need you to be better in spite of me.
I need you to graduate and become successful.
I need you to marry someone with blue eyes and blond hair so I hate myself every day.
People make excuses for me and it makes me feel like hemorrhaging.
I don’t want to party.
I don’t want to dance.
I like to marinate in this pain I’ve earned.
To know that I may never know you because I got to know someone else. Might never open my eyes to the sight of your face two inches in front of mine.
Do not fall in love with these words because they are made of ink and ink bleeds, but I don’t.
I sent you all my love in an airplane that crossed over the sea.
And by the time it got there, you were half way to me.
Don’t let my tears coax you into settling.
My hurt is irrelevant when it is what caused yours.
So many things I want to say but have no right to.
Sign a permission slip to grant me access to the places closed off with yellow tape.
How could I ask for a second go at cutting you into confetti?
Come here, I said come here.
You need to be here, so I can stop being this way.
But is not fair to say.
It is not your responsibility to restore my innocence.
When did I become so selfish?
Why did I take directions from strangers that played their music too loud?
I should have done molly.
Should, shoul, shou, sho, shh. Sshhh.
I should have done more drugs and given less hugs.
Sshhh.
I should not have dressed that way or done my make up just so.
I should have been looking through pictures of you on my phone.
Oh, that face. The one that thought I was perfect.
You know the one, with the eyes I wanted to one day see on the face of our child.
I'm naïve. I am an airborne virus. You caught me on the bus.
You were never not perfect.
Jun 2, 2014
Jun 2, 2014 at 12:33 PM UTC
caught up in the missing
all of the little things
the way that morning treated you
and every conversation
laughter, and that smile
those eyes, the lies
the closeness that i used to feel
your sweet, soft breath matching mine
the way you said my name sometimes
the time that went by to quickly
I even find myself holding out for you
caught up in the missing
it is hard to want anything
having had all that you wanted
and I did I cherished it
never took for granted
all the little things, your soft kisses
the promises and compromises
Every problem we ever faced
getting rent paid,
every goal we set and reached
the future you said that you wanted
caught up in missing
the way you changed
how you chose to leave
the ending and why it happened
the things I shoul've said
caught up in missing
Oct 23, 2013
Oct 23, 2013 at 3:59 AM UTC
Hey ladies, Gentlemen, Boys and Girls
Let's get on board start listening, respecting one another
for we need one another to survive
For when U cry I shoul be there to soothe your shoulder
with a handichief to wipe your weeping eyes and a ear to listen.
Be there with love in my heart not burdens to cause you pain
and to draw your emotions way down
Get on board look around and let's give another a smile or
a huge hug which they will never forget.
"GET ON BOARD PEOPLE"
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 25, 2014 at 1:30 PM UTC
The hours of silence **** me like cancer.
In this day and age
No one knocks on your door to see how you are doing
Or to make a new neighborhood friend.
The way you look and if a silly mistake was made
It defines if you shoul remain alone in the end.
Even during the Cold War the good hearted Russians went past a paranoid government
Past our blind government
They held out a hand
Which is worth more than any political profoundness
Between two lands
Now it is forth years. Past
I guess good habits die with vanity, stereotypes, and greed.
Nothing is lost if you greet a newcomer that you have seen
In action bear no hate.
Now what is the cost of another Allie
If the world is already sick?
Nothing! Unless your eyes are blind and cannot see.
The real truth without a single self defined lie.
Nov 28, 2016
Nov 28, 2016 at 3:38 PM UTC
Hours, flying. Kites seen from far away beaches. In
your mind, brilliant colour display. A sunny day, quiet
southern wind approaching. He is rubbing her back
and shoulder under the great blue sky. The sea is
everlasting. Happy moment, she is smiling. Single kite
ascending into another blue sky. Tropical cyclone
is cutting loose, the hours are critical. Seconds away
from flooding the beds, hills, mountains, and the stars,
wake up! True romance, he is rubbing her back & shoul-
ders, a subsidy of love, only for the young generation.
Mar 22, 2019
Mar 22, 2019 at 6:55 AM UTC
I
my friend
how has fear consumed my lungs
how i dare not open mouth
for i choke years worth of screams
how a body
became so moldable
so willing to feel hands
it just stopped
being
i was created on saturn's ring
my body constricted
my mind an obsession
breathing
living
meat
quickly rising
quickly falling
II
friend dare i say i miss you quite a bit
even though you called me a freak quite a lot
words that are like fists
become set in stone
your mind a raging ocean
and me a human
barely with my head above it.
III
i was once travelling
and on the bus a man was sleeping
and i started looking at man
and oh friend i was fascinated
how when he woke up
he rubbed his eyes
he drank some water
and i started crying
because how human of him
to be thirsty
and to rub the sleep of
and to sleep
i envied him
i wish i could sleep
for quite a while
maybe even forever
maybe... maybe i shoul..
wait where is it
i can't find my body
maybe i left it on that bus
or maybe it's in his house
or maybe it's still in school
maybe even with you friend
i shouldn't be so calm
i shouldn't panic
i hear your smile
''you truly don't care about anything''
where is my body
whereismybodywhereismybodywhereismybodywhereismybody
i hear your smile
''that's what happens when you design things too much''
friend please
stop
help me find it
find me
IV
i saw you in a dream
and you laughed like you were manic
and naturally i laughed along
i noticed
you had fists for hands
knuckles white squeezing
i couldn't breathe suddenly
laughing turned to sobbing
your hands were red
blood so much blood
covering you
a hole in my shirt
my favorite shirt
heart was gone
you were gone too
screaming didn't help
waking up is not an option
i mean my heart i have to
i need to find it
what are they gonna say when they see the hole
so i run and i run and i see you
in different cheekbones
or brows
mostly eyes and noses
but it is never you
kidnappers are hard to find after the initial hours
and how long was it since i last felt a heartbeat
hours?
has it been months?
or even..years
i'm losing hope
there are still parts to be found
my body
my sick breathing clay
my body
i think it's finally time to
WAKE UP
V
let me look for you one last time.
Oct 10, 2019
Oct 10, 2019 at 1:45 PM UTC
Caught Up In The Missing
caught up in the missing
all of the little things
the way that morning treated you
and every conversation
laughter, and that smile
those eyes, the lies
the closeness that i used to feel
your sweet, soft breath matching mine
the way you said my name sometimes
the time that went by to quickly
I even find myself holding out for you
caught up in the missing
it is hard to want anything
having had all that you wanted
and I did I cherished it
never took for granted
all the little things, your soft kisses
the promises and compromises
Every problem we ever faced
getting rent paid,
every goal we set and reached
the future you said that you wanted
caught up in missing
the way you changed
how you chose to leave
the ending and why it happened
the things I shoul've said
caught up in missing
Sep 15, 2018
Sep 15, 2018 at 2:38 PM UTC
If you have wings
Then you shoul fly,
Fly high
Up in the sky
But what good is flying
When it's so lonely
Up there
There in the sky
Aug 23, 2015
Aug 23, 2015 at 6:25 AM UTC
I am a chemist
Mixing chemicals slowly and carefully
Drip, drop
Each mov ement precise as to not invoke a negative reaction
Drip, dr op
As I go to add the next ingredient into my concoctio n
I fi nd tha t i t isn't where it shoul d be
D r ip, dro p
I race to find it, it has to be somewhere, thisiscrucialtotheformula
But it cannot be found, for it isn't in this room.
W ith o ut this piec e of t h e puz z le
My creation is flawed, as it becomes onyx in color, signifying my failure.
And yet it persists
Drip, drop
Dec 10, 2017
Dec 10, 2017 at 1:24 PM UTC