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Paul Butters Sep 2015
An away game at Leeds!
The Loiner Lion will have its feeds.
So it was, back in the day
When Revie’s Men held full sway.
Reaney, Charlton, Hunter, Cooper,
That defence was really super.
David Harvey, ‘keeper complete,
Guaranteed a solid clean sheet.

The midfield ruled by Bremner and Giles,
Billy’s energy, Johnny’s wiles.
Lorimer and Gray down the wings,
Recalling Eddie (Gray), oh my heart sings.
Jones and Clarkey gave us goals,
Lots of them, shoals and shoals.

73-74 our greatest year,
Opponents always full of fear.
Man U relegated that season too,
Better days there were very few.
We won the league by a merry mile,
Time to smile as we did it in style.

In 69 we lost just two from 42.
Opponents didn’t know what to do.
Burnley and City our only losses,
Otherwise we were the bosses.

92 was another good year,
Man U crying in their beer.
Then we sold them Cantona,
That really was a bridge too far.
The rest is history as they say;
We strive again to have our day.

In the second tier on Italian money,
Seeking the land of milk and honey.
The Premiership’s the place where we should be,
Please Messi, join us, on a free!

We hanker for those glory days.
God please help us with your mysterious ways.

Paul Butters

© PB 11\9\2015.
Another early morning poem for your enjoyment.
Northern Poet Jan 2019
Imagine all the things I could have been
And all the places I could have seen
I should have married that girl
From Kensel Green
A beauty queen – so serene
The day alcohol ruined my life

Imagine all the books I could have read
And all those words left unsaid
I went out and got ****** instead
Fell down the stairs and broke my leg
Ten pints and I'm ready for bed
The day alcohol ruined my life

I could have been a Premiership footballer
One of the greats – the league's top scorer
Sponsored by Adidas and Diadora
Up there with Bobby Zamora
Scored an overhead kick from a corner
The day alcohol ruined my life

I could have been a movie star
Champagne and Caviar
Me and Arnie in the Terminator
*******, hookers and fast cars
Enough money to fly to Mars
The day alcohol ruined my life

The day alcohol ruined my life
I lost my kids
And I lost my wife
I woke up in East Fife
On the day alcohol ruined my life
The people of Canberra, yes they love it, oh yeah

you see I come here after getting ribbed by *******
And teased by so called friends
When all I wanted was to be treated like a Normy
And, yes I did normal things, like watch footy and exercise
And I also ran around town trying to enjoy being a kid
Yes, I was made to be such an *******, I hated it
Me and my brother played cricket in the park
And these two dudes tried to scare us off
I am too fit for them, but I found one city
Was nothing like that, yes the Canberra crowd were nice to me
The first word a kid I hardly knew said to me, was your like us, man
Because he thought I was cool, to his point of view
And I made more school friends, and I found this so fun
Then, I made a friend who ended up going to the Raiders matches
When they started in 1982, and we had a lot of fun going to those matches
Cheering them on till their first grand final in 1987
And we continued it in 1989 and '91 and '92 and then their last premiership back in 1994, and that was the year that I went down to Mawson, where the Raiders leagues club was, and saw the team come home, and I asked my friend we support the Raiders, how about we support the Cannons, you see we play basketball, how about we watch it, the cannons are playing well, so we supported the Canberra Cannons, who were our local basketball team, yes, we saw players like Herb McEachin and Phil Smyth, and Jamie Kennedy and Andy Campbell, and my friend saw him at a course he did, and Willie Simmons, played for them, as well as the Alabama Slammer, who did a add for Captain snooze, it went, ' the Alabama slammer, through on his pygamas, lying on his bunk dreaming of the slam dunk, yes, Canberra was on the map, but like the Raiders they stopped playing really well, like finals well, and unlike the cannons are no more, but then after the Canberra Kookaburras were popular in Rugby Union in the 80s, I think the tune went like this, kookaburras play in the ACT, merry, merry, kings of the Union field was he, play kookaburras play, and we'll win the Sydney comp, well I think that is how it went, but who cares, because later on we got a stronger team , the ACT Brumbies, they were so cool, they won two cups, but this rugby comp was harder to win, and at the same time, the best Canberra team, who won the most cups, were the Canberra Capitals, who are the women's basketball team, yes, 10 out of 12 premierships, yes they are so cool, well the capitals run I think is over, and the Raiders have been doing well in the under 20s, but last year they did well and were thrashed in the grand final, Canberra looked doomed, untill something happened to Canberra in February 2013, and that was a moment that changed Canberra forever, you see I have been following tbe Major league from the USA, and I drove my friend nuts, you see the whole city of Canberra got behind the Raiders, and the cannons and the capitals and the Brumbies, the kookaburras, and we support our local Aussie rules comp, we have the best local comp in Australia, it went national, yes, that is cool, we made mistakes with the implosion of our old hospital, which killed Katie ******, and we at least haven't got a right wing government, back in the 80s, we had no government, but back to where we're at, in February 2013, Canberra changed, yes this was the time of the Canberra winning the Australian baseball Claxton shield baseball comp, from the wooden spoon, yes Canberra us great, and we are putting some great apartments up, to bring people here to live up to it's aboriginal name, meeting place, you see I met some really nice people at sporting events in Canberra, and I don't want that to change, you see Newcastle dudes don't have a good sports following like the Canberra crowd has, yes maybe they have the Jets, in soccer, and the Newcastle knights, but we have the GWS, yes they play 3 normal season matches in our city, so we are the boys in our wonderful city of Canberra, we support the AFL, and the AFL is the greatest game of all. Newcastle local sports is just Newcastle, ours include a miniature national comp, we have the Kanga cup soccer tournament, which is better than the Newcastle jets, yes we are the mighty Canberra crowd, we are making our city so proud, we have better stuff, like sports to suit all walks of life, as well as having the best flower show in the world, called Floriade, how many flower shows have people performing songs at them the way we do, and February has the Multi cultural festival, so let's celebrate the 100 years of Canberra, we ain't shy, the rest of Australia, just thinks their the best.
The end


Sent from my iPhone
Hi dudes

I am on the murrays bus heading for Batemans bay and there is only 1 hour
And a half left and I am looking forward to being close to the ocean
You see it's going to be great eating fish
And chips at the boathouse
You see I am having memories of when I went here with my mate Daniel and this
Is my first trip since I stopped ringing him up and I am staying in Mariners on the waterfront and I hope the room is ready when I get there
I have to rehearse my play lines as well
I woke up at 5 am in the morning at my mother's house and I remember walking with Daniel and the bus dropped water on us because it was raining But today iss lovely sunny day and now we have arrived at Braidwood to pick up a box and we are off again
We are entering the windey roads
Of the Clyde mountain and as I look
Out there are roadworks and lovely black cows, cows are beautiful creatures and yes we will be passing
Poo bears corner and dudes there is
Blue sky for miles, and I hope my room
Had fox footy so I can watch the parade I have just arrived in Batemans bay
And I arrived too early for the room at Mariners, so I left my baggage there and
Headed for the take away for an egg and bacon roll with BBQ sauce and hopefully people will be out of the room
When I return to the hotel And the egg and bacon roll was very tasty and after I left chixandstix I headed toward k mart
To buy a coke and wait for the time to tick away so I could enter my room
There are millions of Kids running around and I saw one guy running on
The road, yeah this is going to be a great grand final weekend on the south coast and I hope I get into the room
By 12 so I can see if they have the fox footy channel for the parade
But they didn't But it is a wonderful room with a nice view of the Clyde river
And I wish there was a fox footy but oh well we can't have everything but it is a beautiful view though
The next minute I walked down to the Batemans bay soldiers club and paid them $10 to become a member and I am
Going to
Watch the parade in air conditioned comfort I know I leave monday  but I find it is worth it
I am watching hawthorn and west coast go down the streets either he sun shining nicely in this great spring day and I am sinking coke by coke enjoying the grand final I have just arrived in Batemans bay
And I arrived too early for the room at Mariners, so I left my baggage there and
Headed for the take away for an egg and bacon roll with BBQ sauce and hopefully people will be out of the room
When I return to the hotel And the egg and bacon roll was very tasty and after I left chixandstix I headed toward k mart
To buy a coke and wait for the time to tick away so I could enter my room
There are millions of Kids running around and I saw one guy running on
The road, yeah this is going to be a great grand final weekend on the south coast and I hope I get into the room
By 12 so I can see if they have the fox footy channel for the parade
But they didn't But it is a wonderful room with a nice view of the Clyde river
And I wish there was a fox footy but oh well we can't have everything but it is a beautiful view though
The next minute I walked down to the Batemans bay soldiers club and paid them $10 to become a member and I am
Going to
Watch the parade in air conditioned comfort I know I leave Monday but I find it is worth it
I am watching hawthorn and west coast go down the streets either he sun shining nicely in this great spring day and I am sinking coke by coke enjoying the grand final And after walking home from the club
after watching the parade, I got $50 out
And went back to the hotel and presto
The TV was in better working order but
I don't have fox footy, so I am glad I went to the club and currently I am just
Relaxing in front of the box doing my art
And I saw the end of the rugby league
Grand final show and I am doing my hAlloween tapestryAnd now I am watching alive and cooking waiting for the 3 o'clock news
Bulletin to start and tonight I am going to have fish and chips as well as buying a few supplies to veg out with tonight
In front of the box, the view of the river
Is radically awesome dude and I am looking forward to my fish and chips
Down the coast
I just had fish and chips at the voatshed and yes mr seagull decided to Payne a visit
And you shoul have Heard the racket when I gave up one or two or three
And the fish was so fresh and for drinks I had pub squash and another seagull jumps up to say hello to Me and I said hell mister seagull and after I finished with my dinner I went to woollies to buy some supplied to satisfy my hunger tonight
And as I was walking home  a man said I was shaky he like a jelly on a plate and I said yeah I am a cool writer and artist
And then I went into my room to watch Becker then the news and I am going to spend a relaxing night on the night before west coast hopefully beat hawthorn and will I get fat tonight
Of course I am not going to eat it all tonight
I will concentrate on my creativityYou see I lying on my bed moving
My hand as I do each stitch watching
Neighbours and everybody loves Raymond and then watched the gardeners on better homes and gardens
And whe I was watching that some really cool party people were laughing and having a good time all I'm readiness
For the afl grand final tomorrow
As the song goes
We are the Eagles the west coast Eagles
We're the team to show you how
We are the better birds than the team of hawthorn we are the mighty west coast team but if hawthorn win tomorrow
I will ****** scream and now there is another talk show
Have you been paying attention
Which is a radically awesome show
But I Have turns it over to superman
On channrlll goI got up at 7 am this morning after having a nightmare of James Pederson
Getting his revenge on me after I teased him a bit and then I got up to go to the toilet and took my medication and went back to bed for 2 more hours and after that I had a shower and then breakfast
And got the room ready for the housekeepers to clean and then went on a walk to beautiful batehaven and as I walked down the road, there was this lovely sesbreeze and it was a beautiful
Hot day and I passed the fish and chip shop and the shell museum and bird land animal park and I saw families swimming in the pool and when I reached batehaven I bought myself a coke and say there watching isthe water and there is this water skier having a wow of a time and there was this man taking his dog down to the water and there are heaps of families taking their kids to the water on this nice hot day  
It is wonderful sitting by the beach and onr man is resting his dog
It is a nice day for the beach
And I am enjoying myself relaxing in the shade of this really hot day at the beach
And soon I must go to get some lunch and watch west coast beat hawthirn
Go the EaglesI entered the soldiers club and went straight to the bistro to have a hamburger with egg and bacon and chips and it was superb and then I went to the TV to watch the pre game show
And Elle Goulding and Bryan Adams
Were the entertainers and mike Brady sang up there Cazaly and even if they weren't there felt like singing up there goes Sydney and I chose the TV with a view of the Clyde river and I am still tipping west coast go the Eagles
The Hawks broke away with a lead at quarter time and half time and west coast are in for a record if they can get back from 57-26 down and the Kangaroos runner won the sprint giving money to youth homelessness
And the beach is a cool backdrop for the mighty MCG and I am still going for the eagkes but it will be hard
Go the eagles for what it's worth
Well we are the happy team at hawthorn
Showing the Eagles which birds the best, we fight them off from start to finish
Go the Hawks for the 2015 premiership
And it is a good reason to party on
Saturday night which is party night
Yes the Hawks are superior in this grand final and I am sitting in the batemans bay soldiers club watching the match and I am waiting for the presentation and if the motel has a band tonight
I am going party through frustrations by watching the band
I will probably get a pizza for dinner on the wharf
But the Hawks were the big birds the kings of the big game
Go the Hawks for victorycan hear you laughing. Go
You see you are laughing oh so hard mc cracking jokes celebrating the Cowboys win it was a wonderful win
I am glad the Broncos lost
You see I like people who party
They are my type of people
You see people laugh at each other
And they say go cowboys go
Then around Christmas time
They dress up as Santa and let out
A loud ** ** **
You see they say it very loud
It is like they lost thrift ** ** **
Where can it go go go
Doing the hanky pdnky with your mates
In the gay bar in downtown Sydney
Then we will celebrate a win
Cowboys Cowboys rah rah rah
Got he mighty Cowboys from now till the end of hhf day
Everyone has stopped laughing
Time for bed
Go the Cowboys
The people of Canberra, yes they love it, oh yeah

you see I come here after getting ribbed by *******
And teased by so called friends
When all I wanted was to be treated like a Normy
And, yes I did normal things, like watch footy and exercise
And I also ran around town trying to enjoy being a kid
Yes, I was made to be such an *******, I hated it
Me and my brother played cricket in the park
And these two dudes tried to scare us off
I am too fit for them, but I found one city
Was nothing like that, yes the Canberra crowd were nice to me
The first word a kid I hardly knew said to me, was your like us, man
Because he thought I was cool, to his point of view
And I made more school friends, and I found this so fun
Then, I made a friend who ended up going to the Raiders matches
When they started in 1982, and we had a lot of fun going to those matches
Cheering them on till their first grand final in 1987
And we continued it in 1989 and '91 and '92 and then their last premiership back in 1994, and that was the year that I went down to Mawson, where the Raiders leagues club was, and saw the team come home, and I asked my friend we support the Raiders, how about we support the Cannons, you see we play basketball, how about we watch it, the cannons are playing well, so we supported the Canberra Cannons, who were our local basketball team, yes, we saw players like Herb McEachin and Phil Smyth, and Jamie Kennedy and Andy Campbell, and my friend saw him at a course he did, and Willie Simmons, played for them, as well as the Alabama Slammer, who did a add for Captain snooze, it went, ' the Alabama slammer, through on his pygamas, lying on his bunk dreaming of the slam dunk, yes, Canberra was on the map, but like the Raiders they stopped playing really well, like finals well, and unlike the cannons are no more, but then after the Canberra Kookaburras were popular in Rugby Union in the 80s, I think the tune went like this, kookaburras play in the ACT, merry, merry, kings of the Union field was he, play kookaburras play, and we'll win the Sydney comp, well I think that is how it went, but who cares, because later on we got a stronger team , the ACT Brumbies, they were so cool, they won two cups, but this rugby comp was harder to win, and at the same time, the best Canberra team, who won the most cups, were the Canberra Capitals, who are the women's basketball team, yes, 10 out of 12 premierships, yes they are so cool, well the capitals run I think is over, and the Raiders have been doing well in the under 20s, but last year they did well and were thrashed in the grand final, Canberra looked doomed, untill something happened to Canberra in February 2013, and that was a moment that changed Canberra forever, you see I have been following tbe Major league from the USA, and I drove my friend nuts, you see the whole city of Canberra got behind the Raiders, and the cannons and the capitals and the Brumbies, the kookaburras, and we support our local Aussie rules comp, we have the best local comp in Australia, it went national, yes, that is cool, we made mistakes with the implosion of our old hospital, which killed Katie ******, and we at least haven't got a right wing government, back in the 80s, we had no government, but back to where we're at, in February 2013, Canberra changed, yes this was the time of the Canberra winning the Australian baseball Claxton shield baseball comp, from the wooden spoon, yes Canberra us great, and we are putting some great apartments up, to bring people here to live up to it's aboriginal name, meeting place, you see I met some really nice people at sporting events in Canberra, and I don't want that to change, you see Newcastle dudes don't have a good sports following like the Canberra crowd has, yes maybe they have the Jets, in soccer, and the Newcastle knights, but we have the GWS, yes they play 3 normal season matches in our city, so we are the boys in our wonderful city of Canberra, we support the AFL, and the AFL is the greatest game of all. Newcastle local sports is just Newcastle, ours include a miniature national comp, we have the Kanga cup soccer tournament, which is better than the Newcastle jets, yes we are the mighty Canberra crowd, we are making our city so proud, we have better stuff, like sports to suit all walks of life, as well as having the best flower show in the world, called Floriade, how many flower shows have people performing songs at them the way we do, and February has the Multi cultural festival, so let's celebrate the 100 years of Canberra, we ain't shy, the rest of Australia, just thinks their the best.
The end
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2017
i still can't believe that i spent almost two
hour's worth of coverage of
rugby league's world cup final...
the **** was i watching?!
          i spent a few hours prior
the game between rugby union's
match-off between wales and
south africa...
           **** me, what a cliff-hanger,
after Leicester City won the premiership
and south africa were beaten
by japan, i starting thinking:
   ***** boys gonna to be beat like
spreading butter on warm toast...
              but then i noticed how
there were no ***-bellied hulks in
           the rugby league teams...
    clones vs. clones...
               and the scrum when compared
to 8 bulls?
         i started thinking about what
i was seeing in the rugby league and immediately
got a *******...
      had to **** it off...
                 rugby league is like this
hybrid of rugby and american football...
makes no sense to me, whatsoever...
             why can you only make one
pass in american football while
all the other players are sparring pretending
to run?
         i get baseball only because
the vocab to understand cricket is too ****
difficult to allow a bat, a ball and a wicket
to be anything but complicated...
                and when compared to
a rugby union scoreline of 24 - 22,
6 - nil...
         you can score 7 goals in football...
         sorry to **** on the whole parade,
but rugby league is a mongrel of
rugby mixed with american football...
where's the line out for the throw in?
       and why is it always 3 versus 1
and then a tap on the shoulder
                   with the ref telling them to
get off so another can engage in a 3 versus 1
tackle?
              rugby union i get,
the well informed ref is a *******
  python of knowledge...
              football's ballerinas i get too,
footballers were always prone to drama
once they earned too much...
       rugby league? makes as much sense
to as american football...
                        throwing marbles makes
more sense... as does tic-tac-toe...
                     children are the game makers...
what idiot thought up the:
one throw, touch down!
                          what's that bit in the middle,
skirmishing pretending to box?
         i literally wasted 2 hours of
my time watching a world cup final
where a proper rugby scrum looks
like premature *******...
                            *******, practice
premature with a hard shaft of pure bone...
once you hit the oyster flesh of
a woman's genitals,
  pulling back your *******,
she'll start thinking less of a quickie
and more of a sunday morning...
                        god,
there's nothing as gorgeous as a foulness of
language in exchange for a clear
thought of: objectifying woman
by the ******-sack of a cow...
                       hey...
can you imagine the pervert finding a wife
in the mother of his child
by asking to also drink her milk?
       my... what an idea...
                     trans-eroticism...
      the subtle fetish that gets no kink
or whip or latex...
                              did i say that i watched
two hours of rugby league and thought
it was *******?
                      i must have,
i just remembered watching the scrums...
     and people do this professionally...
i wouldn't play this sport for leisure or hobby...
        as i never deemed a need
to appreciated boxing...
                           boxing,
metal head headbanging -
               i always preferred that sort
of "boxing" -
                             for some reason
i always preferred a game of squash
    to a game of tennis -
                    was it the whole "thinking outside
the box" aspect of the game?
            some sports are within the constraints
of confines...
                         and then there are sports
within the confines of constraints...
    like not hitting below the belt...
       well, you know -
           Beavis said - h'eh h'eh, i am cornholio!
while ****-Head just told a bad *** joke and
ugh ugh perversely sighed.
topaz oreilly Aug 2012
Versions of Faith in the City:
Food parcels Baptist Trinity Church
Post euphoric Olympics nation building
dashed by morally decrepit
Premiership  football  -
Obscenity chokes dumb defence.
A late Summer's surge,
harshly the un-starred
kick those generic dustbin lids
crumpled again.
I want to have a drink with the bulldogs because of their great premiership win
You see they never gave in against the swans and I guarantee that at the party they will get rolling drunk
And say to Sydney go and suckeggs
I know I go for Sydney but the bulldogs deserved that win oh yeah
I will love to have a drink the bulldogs because they deserved their win
I will love to have a drink with Vance joy as he opens up the party with some very good singing and everyone in the crowd are partying with him
All over the flaming MCG
You see the bulldogs are the champions of the year 2016
Now let's see how good they can defend their mighty premiership in the next year
I would live for a drink with the bulldogs and party with them oh yeah and I wanna say to them bulldogs fight and bulldogs roar let's do our very best to party all night on October 1 with the team of the mighty west
You see my late father really loved to see the underdogs win
And at the end of the night he would love to have a methane smoothie with them after the Saturday party is over
You see I would love to have a beer with the bulldogs
Because they are the underdogs
You see let's congratulate the team from the bulldog breed
The team from the mighty west
Get drunk buddy
topaz oreilly Jan 2013
Give a little bit of my Shangri La
back to me.
Lets recall the 99p Scotch best at JD Weatherspoons,
revisiting  Bradford by National Express
because we saw  "Bob Sue and Rita too" on Channel 4
and on a whim had to have
B&B; down Manning Lane.
Let's see tea shops show civic pride
serving a strong Bergamont.
No queue jumping,
spitting or cussing in the streets.
Lets not be afraid to care,
and go back to the early 1990s
on the cusp of the Premiership
to see  Notts County verses Luton Town.
Their six pointer
with an overturned milk float to presage the desperation
and long before the aerobic  internet entertained us.
Funded Public libraries
venturing openings on Sunday's
and thank Steg from
Scorpion records at High Wycombe,
grateful for all those post restantes.
Julie Grenness Apr 2017
Isn't football such an event?
Listen to the philosopher's lament,
Old Socrates barracked for his team,
In the AFL, worst you've ever seen,
Socrates gazed at the replay,
Groaned, "We lost again!"
So he drank hemlock and gin,
Slit his wrists, did himself in,
Drowned in his phony spa,
His ghost calls down from afar,
"The premiership is what is meant!"
Woe, Socrates' eternal lament!
Feedback welcome.
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2018
.just when you begin interacting with Turkish pimps and Bulgarian prostitutes stealing your debit card(s), just when you interact with English marijuana growers subjecting Hanoi youths int their suburban houses at night, high on coke... criminals... then you can start making a focus of your couch love pristine immunity to me... not until the knit-of-grit... not until you're in the Glasgow bus station, learning chords from a man waiting for his brother to be released from prison, teach you chords of the left hand's fingers' schematic on the outer-side of the forearm... of all my childhood friends... i'm probably the only one who hasn't been to prison... ****... then again there's Rafael... up in Manchester... but i grew up alongside criminals... or rather, kids, who would later become criminals... but i'm guessing Rafael made it in Manchester... i always wondered what happened to that guy i played with, everyone nicknamed Ukraine; Rafael i remember... we went to a football match back in 1997 / 1998... when KSZO Ostrowiec played ŁKS Łódź in the extra-class (premiership league)... and chanted the slogan: ŁKS jebał pies! ŁKS jebał pies! (dog ****** your team).

certain fields of study require a comparison
without a congregational
same-medium expression...

               like... you can talk, rather than sing...
you can think, rather than talk...

but sometimes the odd happens...
                           a shared interest of time...

philosophical literature?
it usually takes a decent three years to finish
a philosophy book,
and that also includes some books
in between...
       hell... it took me about 3 years
to read Kant's critique of pure reason...
given that...
the ending?
   transcendental methodology
at the end of the 2nd volume?
   it was the easiest part to read...
i just like the anti-atheism of that section,
and how god,
is not an infantile concern of
adults trying to explains origins
to children by adults...

and then i came across a synonym...
literally...
something that takes years to mature...
SNL's donald trump vs. hillary clinton
debate cold open (1 October 2016)...

guess how many years it takes to
filter out the canned laughter,
and find yourself, actually the only person
in the room laughing?
   what's the date?
****!          8th November 2018...
well... over 2 years!
   the sketch from 1 October 2016...
is... to be honest... only funny... now...

whiskey, whine, philosophy, comedy...
it needs to age...
you can't exactly drink yesterday's
whiskey or wine...
you can't exactly read a philosophy book
binging over 3 days: more like 3 years...
and comedy?
the real poignancy of a jokes
comes with a minimum of a 2 year delay...
you need that over-layer of
reality to sink in,
to expose how...  
   people were surprised...
i'm actually laughing at the canned
laughter of the then,
given the caricatures of the then
of potential, with the now
of the executive order...

this is a rare find...
but yeah, it was obvious, wine and whiskey
need to age,
a philosophy book can't be read
like some YA vampire teen-flick...
and some jokes: never exist
in the immediacy of da-sein...
            some jokes transcend the immediacy
of history, and are only funny
some years later...
      no... now that Alec Baldwin
impression is funny...
    because?
      well... isn't it obvious?
      it aged...
it transcended the lampooning and inverted
lampooning onto itself...
it did the Kantian inflection:
when a phenomenon becomes
a noumenon...

   a Kantian inflection is when a phenomenon
becomes a noumenon -
it implodes and gains the momentum
of the implosion
with an unhinged will momentum
of unpredictability...

i like delayed comedy,
         i can filter out the canned laughter...
because...
it's not a mocking laughter...
it's not a collective anticipatory
laughter of the "certain"...
it's the p.s. kind of laughter...
and your worst nightmares came to pass...

i'm the laughter within a throng
of lamentation.
The raiders show v manly April 28 2019


Hi everyone and welcome to the raiders show on a year where we have won 5 out of 6 wins with their only loss was against the Melbourne storm
And today should be a great test to see if Canberra raiders are good enough to go further this year I personally think raiders have the guts to win it, but only time will tell ok let’s start the jingles and poems and cheers here is the first from Oliver

We are the mighty raiders
We will fight for what is right
Pushing for a premiership
In 2 0 1 9
Are we good enough
Well I think we are
But today we must pass manly
Because they seem the best
As they play the green machine song
To start the match
Everyone will cheer the raiders name
Saying we will win hands down
But at the stroke of 4-00
The question of whether the raiders are good enough will be answered
Go raiders go

Thank you Oliver and now here is Andy billims with a festive footy song

It is the football season oh yeah
And the raiders team will enter the field ready to show manly who if boss
And they want manly to have a loss
At brookvale oval today
The crowd is getting ready to
Wave their flags saying go raiders
We must win but to those manly
Supporters out there
We will win this mighty match
Go raiders go for us
As the supporters and players
Are riding the bus
Yes we are going to win we will never
Give in to those manly sea eagles
It is the football season
And the green machine
Is looking fast and mean
Never lean, we are mighty keen
To best the sea eagles yeah
And at the chime of 4-00
Raiders will see the truth
Of whether they win or lose

Thank you Andy and let’s hope raiders do win this afternoon against manly and now here is our next jingle poem or cheer from Patrick

G’day dudes my name is pat
Ready to cheer the raiders on
To beat manly and that is that
You see we have strong players
Who play very well
And Ricky Stuart will push us to the limit yeah
We have beaten teams who were once pretty good
And if we lose, guess who will be in a bad mood
I will yell at friends and family
C’mon raiders for this victory
We have in the past been
Known as the faders
But this year is different
We are the mighty raiders
We will raid your park as
We raise the roof
I know the raiders can excite us
I just want proof
Go raiders go raiders go raiders go

Thank you Patrick and here’s hoping we can all get together this afternoon to cheer hard for the Canberra raiders
Here is Jarred with his poem

Go raiders we are the best
We will put the eagles to the test
Coming up to provide the best
But the manly side will never rest
You see Canberra need to work ****** hard
Burning off the extra lard
From all the times the raiders have lost
C’mon raiders beat the hosts
Go raiders go

Thank you jarred and now off to the first half go the mighty raiders beat the eagles

Welcome back to the raiders show for the half time entertainment and what a match we have with the raiders leading manly by just 2 points, 14-12
And now here is ken with a jingle

Wighton wighton
You are the best mate
Two tries for the green machine
You are the one who is bad and mean
Wighton wighton
Everybody says your awesome dude
You need to score more though
If a win against manly is on the cards
Wighton wighton
Congratulations and celebrations
As the manly side scored their second try right at the last minute through former raiders Lachlan croker
Go the raiders we can’t give up
If we drop the ball we will choke choke choke come on raiders we must win today the mighty green machine
Will hopefully make manly pay
Thank you ken and now here is joe with his input

Fighting strong the green machine
We are the pride of the ACT
We are up by just 2 points
We need to provide more pressure
Yes we do
Don’t want no red or even blue
No orange or maroon too
We will see if the green machine
Will knock manly out in this game
But the pressure is coming over Canberra yeah
We fight we rise and we conquer
All over the place
We need to win c’mon raiders to win
Send manly off the field licking their wounds go raiders go

Thank you joe and now the second half between the raiders and sea eagles
Go raiders go
We will fight and we will win
Go raiders go
We will send manly to the sin bin
Go raiders go
Will wighton score his third
C’mon raiders win this match
Right now

Welcome back to the raiders show
And what a pretty ordinary performance from the raiders with manly winning 24 points to 20 and despite all the talk of the commentators saying they won from their last try, they made a mistake which ran down the clock for manly
Here is Tom

Go manly go manly go the mighty sea eagles
Winning is the way we do it
Go the eagles yeseree
I can answer the question mate
What is wrong with the raiders now
The second half of Canberra was crap and manly made the most of it
By becoming no sap
Go manly go manly
Go the mighty eagles yeah
We win only by 4 but a win none the less

Thank you Tom and congratulations to your team and I hope the raiders can bounce back next week, well hope so anyway and now here is Lyle with his jingle

Poor raiders lost their second match
Poor raiders having problems with their performance
It isn’t that good
Manly too strong
And raiders fell into a hole
The first half was good for raiders
But the second half went down
It is a 80 minute game not 40
The raiders faded away
What was wrong what was wrong
Raiders have been beaten for the second time
If we are to make the finals mate
We have to play a 80 minute game

Thank you Lyle and now here is Keith

The raiders played such **** in
The second half
Their performance in the second half was as woeful as can be
What happened to the side that has been winning in the last few weeks
Will we see them again
Well I hope so
I ****** well hope so
They need to win again
Just when you think the raiders
Were finals bound
They play a woeful match
In the second half
And to make a good position in the finals
They need to play better than that
Well done manly
I am a great sport
I hope the raiders can bounce back
And no more fade away

Thank you Keith and now it is time to go, it is beer o’clock there is no more

And now we draw the final curtain
What happened to the raiders mate
Normally this year we sing their praises now we have to lick our wounds
Join us next week for our mcdonalds park match with Penrith the mighty mountain men
I hope we could win that
It will be a great great match
But after our woeful second half
We need to bounce right on back to
Keep on track

Manly. 24
Raiders 20
if the Broncos are to win this Friday
night
the intensity of their play must be
right
they'll need full commitment in the
fight
half measures won't cut a victory's
light

the Storm never give an inch on the
field
that why they've held football's top
shield
they keep the pressure on and don't
yield
each member of the team up to the job's
wield

possession of the ball determining the
game
any player slackening off will bear
blame
the premiership's battle is there to
tame
so we'll see a dour contest that's not
lame

less than forty hours to go before the rivals
meet
where footy fans shall experience quite a
treat
the ref's whistle calling upon the vying
beat
there'll be fireworks and no team going into
retreat
Unfortunately the Broncos weren't successful in winning the preliminary final. The Storm defeated them,  30 points to nil.
Paul Butters Sep 2019
At five in a morning they scavenge about,
Punters at a car boot sale
Searching for bargains with torches.
Why the lights?
Because it’s still dark.
Why dark?
Because it’s SEPTEMBER.

September: the month when the kids go back
To school.
When bowls goes indoors,
Snooker starts;
Cricket draws to a close,
As bad light stops play.
Premiership football into its second month
And Rugby Superleague into the Playoffs.

Telly programmes that have run all summer
Grind to a halt
And Winter TV takes over.
“Question Time” is back
Along with parliament,
Though Boris soon closed it
This year!

The nights get longer,
Minute by minute
And soon those leaves will turn
That lovely golden hue:
Ironically the mark of Death.

Thoughts will soon be turned to Christmas
As we steel ourselves
For another Winter.
Halloween and Bonfire Night
Are coming soon.

This year we have “The Brexit Deadline”,
A new distraction
Drawing our eyes away
From the eternal passage
Of time.

Paul Butters

© PB 23\9\2019.
Autumn Time
The raiders show

V parramatta April 14 2019


Hi everyone and welcome to the raiders show where the mighty Canberra raiders are playing the pride of the parramatta eels and seeing the raiders have won 3 lost 1 it is going to be a thrilling match and we start the entertainment with Joel from waramanga

We are the bad and mean green machine fearsome men from the ACT
We will trample over the eels today
And we will hit ‘em fight ‘em
Even if biff wasn’t allowed
I want no red I want no blue
No purple pink or orange too
There is just one colour and
That will do
The fighting men from the green machine
Come on Canberra
We have to win tonight
If we don’t put up a fight
The side will fade away fade away
Like an old rusty coin
We are the bad and mean green machine fighting fit
We are looking mean
As our opponents will be seeing green
When we beat ‘em beat ‘em and that will be the end

Thank you Joel a very good version of the green machine song and now here is Barry from Curtin

Go go the raiders
The mighty green machine
We will be up there fighting
We will never be lean
Come on raiders you are the best
Watch out eels we will put you
To the test
Go go the raiders
Better than the worst
Go go the raiders
I think I see an eel trying to first
That won’t happen because the
Raiders are great
Go raiders go raiders
The team of today
Go go the raiders
Let’s finish the round with a bang
Carn the mighty raiders
Watch the raiders burst up a Bang
That will be the eels when they lose today
Go the mighty raiders mate
Better than the rest

Thank you Barry and yes it will be fantastic to see the raiders win today
And now here Bradley from Dunlop

In an era of upsets
Good and bad can occur
But the mighty Canberra raiders
Will fight right till they are through
With strong players who perform at their best
Those players will put eels to the test
It is going to be great cool and totally rad
The raiders this year have been far from bad
Yes those eels will be at their best
But the raiders are going to put them to the test
You see we are the mighty green machine fast and mean and fighting fit
We ain’t scared of the eels
Not one little bit
Thank you Bradley
And I am saying to you that
Raiders are great
Raiders are strong
They play their best even if the game is long
They will fight the eels
They will never squeal
Come on raiders go go go
Come on raiders
Win on my raiders show
And after this break the start of the match go the raiders the lead we’ll catch ok here is the match between the green machine and the eels

Welcome back to the raiders show and now we have the half time entertainment with Keith from Monash

Yes it started like this, raiders pushing for the try line trying so hard and parramatta trying their best to get tries and when they got their first try they were happy and converted the try to make it 6-0 and the eels were finding it hard to get a try even a forward pass stopped them from breaking through and the raiders
Scored a penalty goal to make it 8-0
At the break go the raiders kick some *** go the raiders show some class
Go the raiders in 2019

Thank you Keith and now jimmy from O’Malley

Come on raiders come on come on
Come on raiders come on
We are the green machine
We are fighting fit in the ACT
If you stop us from finding our feet
We will hit ya hit ya hit ya
The eels will be toast
Croker kicked 2 awesome goals
And the raiders look awesome too
Anyhow
We fight out our aggression
The eels will be a suffering
But who cares we have the half time lead
Come on raiders come on come on
Come on raiders come on
Yes they will win this match and if
We play well the premiership
Which mightn’t be so much
Out of the raiders reach
To win 4 th game tonight will be awesome go raiders go
Thank you jimmy and now
Back to the match go raiders win the 4 th match of the year

Welcome back to the raiders show and what a great win by the raiders
19 to nil, the first time the raiders to nil twice in 5 rounds since 1990, what a win it had turned out to be and now here Harry from Braddon

Go the raiders go the raiders
Raiders clap clap clap
Raiders clap clap clap
It was a match that was very good
Beating parramatta to nil
It was an interesting match my friend
Go the mighty raiders oh yeah
We had an 8-0 lead at half time And then in the second we just went with it
The eels made too many mistakes
What a game it was go the mighty mighty raiders oh yeah
We have the broncos next week
And if we play like this
There will be a chance
All we need to push ourselves right
And knock the broncos around
Yes that is what we need to do
Raiders clap clap clap
Raiders clap clap clap
The raiders have played well this year so far will they keep it up

Thank you harry, and let’s hope they keep it up and now here is John from ainslie

Raiders clap clap clap
Raiders clap clap clap
What an opening this has turned out
To be
The best start the raiders have had
And holding the eels to nil too yo
What a fantastic win
Let’s pile on the pressure raiders
And knock the broncos back home
We are the green machine
Let’s hope we can show the youth of today why they called us the green machine
I remember back then it was great it was great
Ooh I need to get home at half past 8
But I can sing about the raiders all night
Let’s go to parramatta leagues club
And get in a fight
Raiders clap clap clap
Raiders clap clap clap
Raiders are the team to watch in 2019

Thank you John and now our last entertaining number of the night is Imogen from hawker

Come on raiders
Kick some ***
Come on raiders
Tonight you showed some class
The lord was looking down on you
One try and an almighty 2 and
3 and then a great field goal
Taking the heart out of your soul
I have been a raiders fan
For such a long time
So let’s cheer and cheer
Them over the line
Raiders clap clap clap
Raiders clap clap clap
Kicking *** tonight

Thank you Imogen and now we must go, see you next week against the broncos let’s hope raiders win 5 well we have to just see and now time for the final curtain see you next time on the raiders show

And now we draw the final curtain
And the raiders won their 4th
Out of 5 games it was like fucken war
And next week we face the broncos
Let’s hope we win, I hope so
We need to celebrate Easter
With a win go the Canberra raiders
Yeseree
See you next week everybody
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2019
.within these words is the simple question... i'm a misogynist? i'm a misogynist? i'm such curious as to how i could get away with all of this if i, truly were a woman, but as being a man, i am prescribed the sentient double-knocker of: a ******* mea culpa!

so i spent the afternoon making
two curries...
   by now... cultural appropriatio:
whatever the hell that means
having an arsenal of indian
spices that would scare both
the russians and the h'americans
with their nukes...
but like i said:
i concede:
                 the blue indian cuisine,
i.e. from the Bengal
or the Punjab?
superior to my bland salt &
paper...
although...
when it came to the chicken chettinad?
i'm not here competing
for the white-boy-eat-a-lot-of-chillies
olympics...
one standard red chilli,
four kashimiri dry chillies,
and yes... some standard chilly
powder...
       if i want to burn my tongue:
i'll drink near-to-boiling
water... thanks...
don't know... i sometimes make
so much curry in one afternoon
i'm happy to forget doing
the stereotypical male thing of...
watching the 6 nations rugby,
or the skii jumping competition
from Letho (Finland)...
   it's like... i'm transported back
to Edinburgh,
  doing 12 hours of lab. training
once more...
              hell... no lab. work for me:
but i guess... blue indian cuisine
is the closest thing to a chemistry
experiment, notably an organic
chemistry experiment...
mind you:
   have you ever wondered why
you tend to eat a little bit more
of the sauce...
   if you don't dice the chicken,
move away from dicing chicken
*******, and instead fry (which will
come later)
       whole chicken thighs?
or... marinate them prior to...
          curating them via
                   the method of poaching
them in the sauce?
diced chicken: so bland...
         esp. from the breast....
but the meat... cooked whole...
esp. as a thigh (the best bit of
the chicken, and with the bone
intact? oh god!)...
my few favorite curry though?
the one i made later...
    a... sali murgi...
   (yes, the H is always a surd...
   moor-ghee...
    butter of the moors)...
      with those beautiful sali
crispets...
          on top...
   also... who would have thought:
dried, apricots... in a curry?
oh i don't mind this...
   "cultural appropriation"...
me cooking curry is...
so much more than someone
donning dreads...
and... by the looks of it...
          i might even, slyly,
cook better than some natives...
well i already know that
i can speak a more orthodox english
than some of the natives,
i knew that back in high-school...
  started in class 2B...
moved a year later to class 1B...
(class... tier, same thing)...
a year later i was in class 1A...
and it went like so:
    1A, 1B, 2A, 2B,
              1C... 3A, 3B,
                      1D, 2C...
and no... there was no 4A or 4B...
(it skipped every two numbers
and every two letters)...
so... me worried that i might
not cook better than some
Indian's grandmother?
   not in the least...
              a, woman, cooking?
please... give me a break...
             what's that story:
if she overuses salt...
she's thinking about something...
if she underuses salt
she's fostering ill-will...
she over-cooks the pasta
she wants a divorce...
she under-cooks it...
she wants you to start recreationally
running because you have
a "beer-belly-flab"...
yeah... i'll say it...
WOMEN DO NOT BELONG
IN THE KITCHEN...
        mind you...
i was helped by a standard-bearer
to the antithesis of saying so...
mother dear...
   mother ed gein mother dear
(this better freak some people out)...
ah...
but you know what?
frying the potato sali...
last time i used a *** and a standard
cheese grater for the potato...
ingenius...
however many chemistry
experiments i ever did...
no cliche american high-school
"faux pas"...
          but then...
like men are supposedly unable
to tell the difference
between
burgundy and cordovan...
         the **** is a...
               julienne peeler?
yes... mother dear...
or... grandma dear...
                 any other woman in
"my life"...
   no really... but i always like
to keep the ed gein joker card
in play...
   for breathing space...
             all the other women in my
life were...
    for two worthy exceptions...
the nurse in the hospital
where i was born...
                     birth-mark scared...
thought it was better to
shove suckle of a feeding bottle
into my mouth so hard
that i would suffocate,
and almost die from
a premature heart-attack...
ended up with an.. "enlarged" heart...
last girlfriend...
  now... i don't even want to begin
with that story...
in full agatha christey
alias poirot paranoid-mode...
****** her for 7 hours one night
prior to leaving St. Petersburg...
****** her in the batch while she was
on her period and it was
the first time she told me to put
on a ******,
after she first told me to take it off...
so yeah... the curry was great...
we lated sat together
like jesus mary & st. joseph
watching the t.v.
   ah... China's one child-policy...
back in Europe
i'm a dormant serial killer
and my mother is actually my sister...
and my father is a *******
Anglican priest...
or myth, or ghost,
  counter... "god"...
of me turning to the public stage...
BUMPER STICKER
RETRACTION FROM H'AMERICA...
if he died for "our", "sins"...
why is the mantra still:
  the mea culpa of...
"allowing" him to die on the cross?
so we watched a movie...
book club...
staring...
   jane fonda...
  that guy from miami vice...
that woman from ms. congeniality,
that woman from back to the future
vol. 3,
          that woman from
        father of the bride...
                       and DREYFUS!
fifty shade of grey...
   cameo by e. l. james, walking
the dog?
                         yep...
        anyway... watched that...
prior to, dressed up real fine...
was asked where i was going...
to buy some beer...
   walked to the local for some cider...
had to endure a interlude
with a drunk west ham supporter
talking to the colt cashier about
working in outer east london
but being an arsenal supporter...
the movie though...
book clup...
          so it ends on a:
and they lived happily ever after,
didn't it?
            yeah... it did...
but as i was walking about...
the demographic...
   my "neighbour"...
a single mother who still has her
son living with her -
who should look like he's ageing
but... to me he's still
a stunted cabbage-patch
                       of a 13 year old...
a daughter who sometimes
crashes...
      walking home with
a... "catch"...
                           a man...
                 who i would seriously
make ******* antagonisms of...
elsewhere? in the... vicinity?
similar stories...
                      around here
i'm the jesus, the messiah's
mother and my father,
                 the ghost of st. joseph...
last time i wanted to play roulette...
my mother was visiting
     her parents,
both of them slept at my uncle's
house,
i hosted a birthday party...
                and...
  ended up ******* a black girl
in my room on a chocolate couch...
how's that?
      don't even ask me how
i managed to persuade a thai
    bisexual with cheap polish beer
and jazz...
        done brutally / i.e. realistically
in the garden...
with a my own persistent zenith
of surprise...
the thai surprise...
           of reaching into her *****...
really... sport's bra...
and you just picked her up
   from a park bench lamenting
into the phone drinking beer
at the same time, + the short hair?
really? no... moment of "suspence"
           of... the thai surprise?
there were always the odds:
3:1 - she's a woman...
        or 4:2 - she's... he's she's
                               she's he's a man...
oi! shem?! what's up?
which is it?
(3? mouth, the floral pattern,
and the ***...
                1? choice...
  well... if you've already started
courting?
              there isn't one...
4? how many points of entry
between two men? 4...
   but how many choices?
the... teasing *******
literature and wanting to experiment
or...
   the "homophobe"...
which only applies to...
   ****** taqiyya...
                        or the thai surprise...
oh i'm pretty sure i've met
a few homosexuals in my life,
but all of them had
the courtesy to... dismiss homophobia...
what was "homophobia"
and became "trans-phobia"
was forever some borrowed
from Islam... ****** taqiyya)...                
    
                 oh but reality is brutal
on this level...
                         no... not rosey ****
friends, best buddy psychotic
                  lingering ex-girlfriends...

so i drank one cider,
watched match of the day
for all the premiership highlights...
drank two more ciders...
in between taking
a king's salute of one's
most worthy subject:
    a 10cm length of fudge-like
****...
forgot to *******...
and found myself thinking...
'what if the opening
for david bowie's song
from the man who sold the world,
the width of a circle...
could ever become something
-esque shape of things to come
by audioslave...
that subtle rhythm section...
what if all rhythm sections
of songs could have more
a more subtle air about them,
so that the rhythm section
doesn't have to compete with
the vocals...
   harmony...
                very much unlike
the rhythm guitar of Metallica...
what then?

i'll speak my mea culpa...
but i'll also imagine myself
nailing him to the cross...
and then dry *******
the erected crucifix
                         with him on it...
yes...
    and he might have died,
but i somehow managed to live,
in order to understand,
rather than forget the omni-****
banality for...
    the spec-attache-of-the-wrongly-
reattached-to-the-omni-****
as-stand­ard-the...
                            particular man.

inclined to be on a, "jonestown massacre"
style... motiff?
         please...
                  i'd need to dumb
my language down to a level of
understanding that
could no longer be riddled
with idiosyncracies,
          and, subsequently
become: peppered with rhetoric...

who doesn't,
made of flesh,
borrow a segment from
     idolatory,
of these, of all of all
of the possible days...
                oh.... subtle translation
of the german reality
at the peak of the 19th century...
what was the twilight,
or rather... who were the idols
of that frame of history?
wherever i look now...
i cannot see what twilight
there's is to speak of,
other than via my own
post-mortem...
    and by then...
             i only seem to want to convey:
but i am only making
a snippet of what an status
would perform
otherwise:
full swing wholly engrossed
in idolatry do...

        nibbling...
to better explain metaphysics...
id est:
       as simply as possible...
with a...
                 underlying principle
of metaphor...
   and subsequently:
   a literalism that only dabbles
with ridicule of,
what centers around...
self-worth,
    and self-worth-attainment,
best mitigated by
   a self-deprecating comedy...
         that... is provoked
as a modus operandi...
                by an undermining,
tragico-comic...
         of a... noumenon,
self-excluded:
              deprecating comedy per se.

thus:
   the self, returns to the "self",
returns to "the box"...
               which ends up being...
something almost bearable
to have to endure,
esp. when stacking shelves
in a supermarket.
Briano Alliano performing a west coast eagles party on Saturn

Hi welcome to Saturn and tonight I will celebrate the west coast eagles winning the 2018 premiership with our first song
West coast Macarena

You see the mighty west coast eagles
They won and they are mighty
They looked like they’ll lose it
But they kept fighting and pushed it
Each player played well
They go back to Perth with the cup yeah
Yeah party all night all ****** night go the mighty eagles
1 2 3 4 go the mighty eagles
Keep the fight up till the final siren
It is all worth it as we lift the cup
Go the west coast eagles
Then the fun began they started
Bringing our team to the stage
After barnsy
Everybody was cheering
Saying go the mighty eagles
1 2 3 4 go the mighty eagles
Yes we won the cup
And boy are we happy
We are planning to get drunk all flaming night
Go the mighty eagles

And now here is the next song
Clap for eagles

3 6 9 the eagles are fine
We just won the cup
And we feel divine
The crowd at the mcg were happy mate
Can’t wait to get back to Perth
To see the crowd that couldn’t make it yeah
We put our hands up and lift our voice and cheer
Everybody joins us when we say
3 6 9 go the eagles tonight
The cup is ours all through our lives

And now here is the west coast victory song
We won we won we won
The mighty west coast eagles
The cup the cup is ours
Yes we are celebrating
You see we are the best mate
Winning is our friend
We never ever gave up
Right to the very end
Go eagles go eagles go eagles go
Winning the cup means everything to us our gracious team
You see we are fighters
And we are bad and mean
Never giving up and
We got the prize
Yes, we were keen
Go eagles go eagles go eagles go
The cup is ours
Go the mighty eagles
Till the day is done

This is a cheer I had in the past with the eagles

We are the eagles the west coast eagles
We the ones who will win this game
Each goal we score
Will be a blessing dude
Yes we will win this game
You see mate the cup is ours
And mate it was a bit of a fight
We are the eagles the west coast eagles
We are the winners of 2018
Go the mighty eagles yeah
Every single day go west coast eagles

The next cheering song says this

They never thought we would fail it no the eagles are the best the 2018 season is over yeah
And the eagles come up the best the eagles had their heartaches at the start oh yeah
But they kept on fighting and
We won it yeseree
At the end we cheered for them
And the supporters are cheering in Perth saying go the mighty eagles yes we are so great
Now we are coming home
And we are expecting an almighty roar go the eagles
The west coast eagles
Yes we won and we are happy
It started with Richmond beating Carlton and some **** was punching people in the crowd and the tiger land song was playing very loud in the end
Collingwood put it right up to Geelong
But the cats won in the end
Melbourne for the first time were a premiership threat but the power brought that down toward the ground
By beating the demons and the crows weren’t good enough to beat the hawks at their home ground and the dogs beat the swans despite swans getting within 4 with 4 to go but the dogs were too strong and after the west coast eagles winning last years premiership the Brisbane lions were too good for them at the Gabba and despite Gold Coast keeping it close
The saints were just too good in the end and GWS got a record score in beating the bombers, we saw the bombers get bombed by the giants foot and finally the Roos weren’t good at all or was it that Fremantle were too good and that was how the afl started and I hope your team won
Well some people aren’t happy with their team but that is footy for ya
our local football team
are at the top of the district comp
this season
they've had a winning romp
with superior play and skills galore
they've left other teams
flagging at the bottom of the draw
this year Billy Dwyer has coached
them with great aplomb
that's why the team's position
is looking so plum  
for a decade the team never got
any further than the ladder's lowest rung
the town's folk are grinning
from ear to ear
with the good results the team
is having on the footy fields around here
the captain of the team
is confident that the premiership
can be achieved
as the lads on the team
are dedicating themselves
to rolling up the sleeves
there is but another few weeks
of footy to go
and our local lads
are in with a good show
they'll be on the filed
this afternoon
putting in 100%
to proceed to
the trophy's ascent
The raiders show against the 2018 premiers at Suncorp in Brisbane

Hi and welcome to the raiders show
Which is coming to you live from Suncorp stadium where all games this week is, where the raiders are playing the great roosters line up, it will be a great game that the raiders must win
If they want to get their names on the board they only lost 2 games against Melbourne storm and manly Warringah, so far this year and here is hoping we can beat the roosters this afternoon, here is our first jingle from George
Hey Canberra
You must win
Just ignore the
Games that we lost yeah
Don’t fade away like you
Used to do yeah
Just don’t fade away
Hey Canberra
It would be great
If we get a win from
Last years champions
Yes, it will make me very a very happy man yeah mate yeah dude
Canberra to win
Hey Canberra
The mighty green machine
Are they good enough to beat the roosters yeah
Are they good enough to really show
Them who is boss in this game yeah
Go raiders we must win
Hey Canberra
Be like supermen
And fly all over Suncorp
This afternoon you have to win mate
Go raiders knock the roosters out
Thank you George and now here is Harry with a jingle
Canberra Canberra Canberra
We are going to win
Everything is going down well with us please god makes us win
Canberra Canberra Canberra
Win in Brisbane
It is going to be cool mate
The best performance of our lives
Oi oi oi raiders must win
At Suncorp stadium
Against a side not from Brisbane
Really pretty hard
Go raiders go raiders go raiders go raiders go please win
Pretty please with sugar on top
And now over to the match against the roosters go raiders
Yes, it has been a dismal match where the roosters have a 24-6 lead over the raiders today and it is bad
And we have a roosters supporter named pill popper with his jingle

Yes we won last years premiership
What a game it was
And we are playing well this year
Include this week at Suncorp
The raiders are pushed right down
Yes go the roosters oh yeah
Yes afterwards we will hit the roosters bar
And have a nice cold beer
24 points to 6 we have them right
Where we want them
Come on roosters knock the raiders
Back to Canberra saying we are
Kings of suncorp dudes
Thank you pill popper and now here is ken with a reply
Carn the raiders
Go the raiders
Get us out of this mess
Yes we need to win we still have hope
For our sweet caress
We need to Ricky Stuart
To say the right things today
To put some fire in our bellies
To make us force the roosters to fade
But the raiders have to play well
And I can’t see it happening
I just want my team to win
Go raiders go
Thank you ken and here is terry with his jingle
And as we draw the final curtain
On the first half I hope we catch up
It will be a hard match mate
Because the roosters are playing well
I hope pill popper eats his words mate
But the roosters are playing well
We need to see our players in the spotlight
Ready for a pretty good fight
I sure hope we play well in the second half
Carn the raiders oh yeah
Thank you terry and what do you have to say pill popper
Pill popper’. Well mate I think the roosters will win and the raiders will fade in your face Canberra
Ok thank you pull popper and now here is the second half of the raiders at Suncorp stadium
And welcome back to the raiders show and what a terrible performance despite coming back a bit in the second half, the roosters won 30 points to 24 and here is pill popper
We gave you the chances
But you still couldn’t win
What is wrong with the Raiders
The roosters were too good
We won we won
Yes we fought yes we conquered
To win by just 6
Yes we put the pressure
On the raiders oh yes we did
Roosters roosters go the mighty roosters for back to back
Thank you pill popper and now here is Simon
We are the bad and mean green machine but today we conked out too soon
Yes we tried to come back
But still the roosters were too good
What is wrong with the raiders
One can only tell
You see it was an awful match
Yes I don’t know what went wrong
The bad and mean green machine
Was broken hopefully fixed next week

Ok that was good and that is it that is all there ain’t no more here is the Final curtain song saying it is beer o’clock

And now let’s draw the final curtain
The roosters were too ****** good
Despite the raiders coming back on them
The raiders failed by just 6
So now we get into beer o’clock mate
To think about next week yeah
Well done to the roosters
Raiders must bounce back
the muddle, WHAT AM I




i am a lady i am a man,

i am a kid, no i am a young dude

i have fun oh yeah, yeah, so much fun yeah

as i party with the others

ya see i get teased and i tease a bit

i am the coolest dude around yeah

i have fun yeah, with my bottle of COKE yeah

to try and recapture my youth, no matter how impossible it is

oh yeah i am a lady i am a man

i am a **** kid or a computer nerd

i don’t know how to fix a computer, but can use the computer for fun yeah

well, i love life, and really PARTY, with my bottle of coke yeah

i saw a south sydney supporter standing straight and tall, yeah

after their premiership win last year, they were the best team oh yeah

yeah, i am a lady i am a man

i am a helper of the poor, yeah

i have a lot of fun in me, being cool oh yeah
Big Virge Dec 2020
Now They STRESS That In Chess....
It's ESSENTIAL For You...
To Make The Right Move... !!!

Well In The... “ Game of Life “...

…. That's ALSO TRUE....

But Life’s NOT A Game...
... It Can Bring PAIN... !!!!!!

So Let Me Make This...
... CLEAR To You... !!!

I Know The Coup'....

I Don't Believe In Preaching COOL... !!!
Dismiss My Speech If You Want To... !!!

I'm Merely Giving My Point of View...
About The Moves We Sometimes Choose...

So Far I've Chosen Pretty Well....
I Claim No Wealth...
Other Than My Health....
And Knowledge of Self... !!!

IMPORTANT Tools In Making Moves......
That Enable You To Stay Well Schooled...
And Move With A Groove...
That's Cool And Smooth... !!!

So Yeah That's Me...
So Far... BELIEVE... !!!

I've Travelled And Been...
To... BEAUTIFUL Scenes... !!!

From The West Indies To Hawaii...
Waikiki To Hong Kong's Streets...

Polynesian Views...
Wakatipu Hues And Mountains TOO... !!!
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Their Cultures... DEEP... !!!

Africa TOO But That's A Move...
That NEEDS To Be SHREWD... !!!

And NEEDS To Be RIGHT... !!!!
BELIEVE... That's TRUE... !!!!

See Moves I Make Do NOT Relate...
To Doing So Because of... RACE... !!!!

Because Racist Moves Are Living PROOF...
That People NEED To... TRULY CEASE...

HATRED Because of Skin They SEE...
That Doesn't FIT Their Colour Scheme... !!!

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How About You Cool Like Joe And Tune...

Yourself... INTO...
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A GOOD Defence... !!!!!
If You're In Court Or Playing Ball...

Is The RIGHT MOVE...
And That's For SURE... !!!!

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When They Have Got Some Strikers Who...
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Cos' Moves They've Made...
Since The League Was Changed...

Have CLEARLY Been...
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Which Goes To SHOW...
That From Corporate Folds...
To The... " Average Joe "...

Right Moves Can WIN...
While Others... LOSE... !!!

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Is... BE WISE Y’all... !!!!!
BEFORE You FALL... !!!!!!
For The WRONG Girl...
Or The WRONG Guy...

I've Been Quite Wise...
With Women I've Found... !!!
ENJOYED The Ride When it Was Time...
For The Lights To Go Down... !!!

So That I Could Make Moves...
In... Their BEDROOMS... !!!

It's All A Game...
of... “ Give And Take “...

NOT Making Waves... !!!
Unless They BREAK...
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A Place Where FATE...
Deals You Cards...
Where You CAN LAUGH...
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While Others CONFUSE... ?!!!!!?
Themselves... Due To....

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We all try to make em' ...
I’ve been in Canberra for 40 long years
I had my fair share of friends and enemies oh yeah
A friend was doing tickle torture on me
Yes Canberra is home
I found the waterslide at Jamison was cool
But as I got older it became a fucken hole
No more pool parties no more
Yes Canberra is home
They had good movie theatres there
Like Electric shadows centre cinema and greater union oh yeah
Capitol in Manuka
Cosmopolitan in Woden
But now you still see them
But different names oh yeah
Yes Canberra is home
I went to see the cannons play basketball
It was fun and I got on tv
And I felt famous yeah
We drank coke and chips
And a pie by name
Yes Canberra is home
And cannons won a few titles yeah
I also went to the raiders matches
Even back in the days they played
In Queanbeyan yeah
An afternoon in the mighty struggletown
Watching the green machine play
Then the green machine played in Bruce
We don’t need to catch buses
We can just walk oh yeah
They won championships
They were the best
But from 1995 they lost their touch
Then in 2019 they got to their first
Grand final in a while
They played well but the ref
Robbed them of the match
To give the roosters their second
Premiership in a row
Yes Canberra is home
I am still here despite being mentally ill
I worked hard at north south and the rainbow oh yeah
Wasn’t getting much money
I just helped them out oh yeah
Yes Canberra is home
I started to work CPA
Where I worked hard at ainslie village
And actew and construction sites
I was getting paid $3 to 8-50 an hour oh yeah
Yes Canberra is home
I worked as a volunteer for the Belconnen magpies
I did the barbecue and I loved it for a while everyone was happy with me
Yes Canberra is home
I worked for vinnies in Belconnen oh yeah
When I was there I was more positive oh yeah
And I played Santa Claus at Christmas and I made the kids happy
Yes Canberra is home
Now every place in the world had
The coronavirus Canberra had very few cases but still needs to be careful oh yeah
But sport is still on without much crowd
But I still we still everyone still
Calls Canberra home
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2018
doesn't anyone think that
Lindsay Shepherd
would be a naturally befitting
example of a Kayan woman...
neck like a giraffe...
point being, i'm listening
to all these youtube videos
through my earphones...
but i'm also hearing the rain
falling...
          youtube commentaries 1,
the sound of falling rain, 2;
i'm actually lucky to have
studied in uni,
my D.O.S. (director of
studies) was kinda of lenient on
me... after our first interview
i recognized one of the postcards
in his office... Philip Camp...
like... high-school was translated
into university...
      the postcard?
i asked him:
isn't that an Edward Hopper?
i was lucky to go to university
            during the Labor ordinance
of premiership...
£1,750 the average,
for tuition fees per year...
but not so lucky...
being pushed to go to uni...
i should have dropped out of
schooling aged 16,
and learned, something useful,
like my quasi-friend turned
carpenter semi-intellect...
who now owns a house...
a season pass to the Spurs matches...
while me, intelligent dumb
idiot get...
               a chance to fill up a blank
slate... and digress on Dostoyevsky...
jealousy unto the gods...
while rancid humor... unto the mortals...
i want to be jealous...
but i am no god...
  what i can exemplify,
is what i already categorized...
rancid... humor.
- but i look at a girl like Lindsay...
and i know she has been robbed...
she didn't get what my £1,750 paid
for... around 12 hours a week
of chemical experiments...
practical...
               western education is a farce...
the higher you climb,
the further you fall...
                wish lady luck
to stamp you with what
promotes diversity...
                 otherwise...
  a degree in chemistry...
a job at the supermarket...
  that was my only option...
        should have stuck it out
with my father in the industrial roofing
"tirade"...
                 why the ****
did i go to university?
i've learned more by myself!
We all have our favourite something 
Be it a piece of jewellery, probably your wedding ring
Some even a favourite parent
One from hell, the other heaven sent
Sometimes its a piece of fruit
Strawberrys on cereals? Blueberrys are a better suit
Or even a best friend
Some go on but others fit the trend
Whats your favourite film?
The one and only North by Northwest
Hitchcock also done The Birds, its hard to pick the best
Football has its one and only's
Once Premiership winners Blackburn Rovers or the mighty Burnley
Go on then, pick a colour that suits you
Depending on the weather, a nice bright pink or a moody dark blue
Your 'go to' shop or you fancy a change in perspective
Look at you go, a fighter that never quits
Hell, we could go on forever in picking our bestist habits
But its what suits now, not a forever in our all-time-favourites

JJB
She finally left

She has left her premiership
This ungainly woman displaying her diabetes
On her arm like a diamond-studded decoration.
She has wrecked the consensus in Britain
And that was the plan, everything to make life
Bearable for Jeremy Coburn.
The working classes used the referendum as a protest
Against austerity, the rich leavers for opportunism.
The Tory party has done everything they can
Stopping Britain becoming a socialist party that
Will take transport, water, gas and oil back to
The people and give NHS founding to treat the sick
In our society, and equal society where no one is
Left behind and sleep in the streets.
But suspect the conservative, and the rich will do
Anything to stop this madness they have much to lose
And no newspapers are telling you the truth.
What a shame
Oh what a shame
The footy is suspended
It will be different to not have sport on the television
But it has to be done
Oh yeah it has to be done
What a absolute shame
That the footy isn’t on for a while
The stupid coronavirus got rid of the footy
At least for a few months
Could be more well it is more likely
To be more
Just when the raiders are playing their better game
They can’t prove themselves
To be a great premiership winning team no more
No, the footy is over
And we have to cope without watching footy on tv
Or watching it at the ground
Or in the pubs and clubs
I remember way back in 1914 to 1918 in my previous life, when I was Albert Waldron life was hard
I was suffering
We didn’t have social media to keep us occupied back then
We had to deal with it
Now it is coming back to my mind
But knowing we do have tv and radio and social media like Facebook and YouTube to keep us informed
Back then we had to line up outside news offices to find out more
We were struggling but now we have television and all other technology to keep us informed and I remember hating every day but somehow we survived
But now we need to just keep our eyes on the news, by golly, we didn’t have it back then
From
Albert Waldron great south Australian footballer way back then
Bimmy jarnes performs again on Kepler


G’day and welcome to my show
The first one shows my love of teddies

Little cute teddy bear
Running around without a care
Cuddling everybody there
Little teddy bear
You see with this teddy bear of mine
Eats his honey, so divine
I think everybody’s fine
Little teddy bear
I drink this smoothie full of methane
A cows **** is what it is
And my bear sits on my bed
Waiting to give me a very good dream
What do you what do you
What do you mean
Teddy was put through the washing
Became nice and clean
Little teddy bear
I love my little teddy bear
Running around kissing and cuddling you
Yes everyone loved you near
Little teddy bear

Next song party in the land of Kepler

You see drinking and smoking
Not worrying about the side effects
Oh yeah bow bow
Every day you meet
Going off to the pub
Seeing people looking very smug
Giving a dime to the homeless
Saying drinking and smoking
Is healthy up here
My mum said it is healthy nowhere
Maybe she is right
But there is nothing wrong with
Giving it a go
Oh yeah bow bow

Sydney Sydney Sydney
Going to win this week
I personally think the giants are weak
Go the mighty swannies
Win oh yeah mate yeah
As we see them score many goals
Show em Sydney
Show em your the swans
Be the 2024 winners
Carn the mighty swans
Let’s win the premiership
And pour some champagne
Into the cup
And drink the whole thing down
Show em Sydney
Knock ‘em till next week
Where they will have problems mate
And we will have the cup
Oh yeah bow bow

Standing on the inside looking out
Standing on the inside looking out
Of the psych ward trying to get reformed
You see I am having fun in my house
When I should as quiet as a mouse
Drinking a Coca Cola down my friend
That is what I like to do
Everybody wants to party with me
Even the crew from the famous ED
They say you are the ones to party with me
Yeah yeah yeah
Standing on the inside looking out
Standing on the inside looking out
Of the psych ward trying to get reformed
You see back in Covid day
People were running on the beach
When they shouldn’t be, hey
And they take all the toilet paper ya see
And the hand soap as well
You see we had to stay inside
Like we were trying to hide
I hated it, I like doing things oh yeah
And PARTY is one of them
I was
Standing on the inside looking out
Standing on the inside looking out
With Covid trying to get better
With Covid in the psych ward
Trying to get better and get reformed
Oh yeah bow bow

— The End —