Finally the storm comes crashing against my inner walls.
The wind howls, like a pack of a thousand wolves thirsty for revenge, for blood, for tender meat to sink their teeth into. Flash - lightnings, black and white dots of an old television, nails scratching on a blackboard, a dry throat, run, girl! Fast! Let all this tangled mess of nerves, confusion, boiling anger and tearing pain stop, let it stop, run! Faster! with the tumtum of your footsteps echoing in your skull like a death march - is it sweet? - with the sweat dipping from your temples, following the curves of your cheeks, impacting - plic - on the soil - soil? Mud, sticky mud that glues to your feet, to your ankles - is it even raining? Why is everyone shouting why are my ears bleeding the only thing I want is ******* -
Silence.
On this balcony.
With a cigarette in my hand, with Wish You Were Here in the air, with thoughts of you filling my mind. With your voice whispering in my ears you're the most wonderful person I’ve ever known.
Silence.
With my fingertips tracing the arch of your eyebrow, with my back pressed on the grass. With my hair following the air flow, while I’m riding a stolen bike, while my arms are circling your figure.
Silence.
Because my heart is quiet when I remember you. When I wasn’t just a reservoir for ***, cuddles or warmth, when my aim wasn’t just to support, to soothe, to calm down.
Silence.
Because I had a value. Because I was a person as a whole, from head to toe, from the very last tip of my blue locks to the smooth white tip of my black Converse.
Silence.
How I wish you were here.
Listening to Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd, thinking about someone who's long gone.
