I AM NOT DEEP.

I just think alot
I'm not weak
I just feel alot
I'm not probing
I just see alot

they whisper
oohh "she so deep"
I ain't loud
I just make words
echo when I speak

I am not
deep,
simply because
I utilize
my mind
to think!

Nothing more
far from less
than just another
intellectual
poetry freak

There's a feeling some music
Gives a person in the morning
Driving to work or grabbing coffee
Early before the sun , naked
In their kitchen, in the mess
Last night was a long one, they whisper
It's the music that makes you feel -
When you close your eyes,
Singing along with your heart,
As if you had just walked into
A room full of old friends & new ones
They cheer as you walk in
Because it's been a while this time
But you haven't skipped a beat
The music plays louder in your head
You start moving them shoulders
The headache isn't so bad anymore
-You take a look of the view outside-
They 're all happy to see you
The music gets even louder now
So you scream aloud, "Oooh OOooh!"
"Oohh ohh ohhh ohhh"
You throw around the stones
And nobody gets hurt, so you dance on
Taking in the misery, glory, and truth
They all hold up their glass in anticipation
She comes up to you with a smile,
"Oh baby why you wait so long?"
You take a look around your place
Realizing how many memories we got
****, it ain't gonna hurt too bad

"Say, whus tha good wurd, Mista Mornin Bird?"
"Ahh, ya know just chillin here singin these here tunes waitin fah Mista Worm."
"Ahh dat Mista Worm - he alwayz be runnin late."
"True dat!”
”Yo! peep this...
Last night he took his ol girl out on a date."
''A date? Really? Mistah Worm?”
"Yup.
But it getz betta tho.
It wuz dare anniversary. Ol fool went to tha chapel an got married."
"MARRIED!!??"
"mmhmm."
"Where dey get married?"
"At dare special spot in tha apple orchard.
Mistah worm told me he and hiz girl are movin to the Big Apple.”
“Big Apple? Fah what?”
“He gunna work fah tha East New York Farms.  I guess hiz uncle Jim
got him in.”
“…Mista Worm…”

"Say, howz Mista Skunk doin?  He evah get clean?"
"I dont see much of him theez dayz.  Heard heez down on his luck. Evah since tha paper mill closed he aint been tha same.  Heez so stressed out he got mo white hairz than a polar bear.”
“Dammmnnn!!!”
”Sumone told me that heez a nasty lil ol drunk wit a funky attitude and a quick tempa!
No wunda hiz wife leftem.
My understandin iz he still outta work - rummigin through peoples junk - collectin cans, tryin to make a buck.
Itz a **** shame, aint it?"
"Uh huh."

"Howz Mista Rabbit?"
"Miiiista Rabbit! Oohh dat Mista Rabbit he dunn got himself a nasty habbit."
"Whys dat?"
"He be stealin outta Mizz Jonsens garden again.
Otha day Mizz Jonsen shooed him away chasin him down tha block wit a pair of ol rusty scissors in her hand."
"Scissors!!??"
"Yup. She told him next time he wont be so lucky wit out hiz foot."
"WHUT!!??  Whus dat suppose da mean?"
"I dunno.”
"Dat Mizz Jonsen gone crazy!!
She dunn lost her mind in her ol age.
She crazier than a ******* rat!
Man, when Mista Rabbit gunna learn?”
"I guess when he haz no foot."

"Say, you talk to Mista Squirrel at all?"
“Itz been sum time.”
“How wuz he doin?”
"Man, you know Mistah Squirrel.  He wuz all ova da place, or at least he wuz.  He alwayz be jumpin from one tree to tha next, alllllwayz tryin to get a nut or two.  Last I heard he got deported and now lives in anotha county.”
“Why iz dat?”
“He dunn got locked up fah breakin in a few too many attics. They finally caught him....Stoopid fool."
''****…”

"Nuff about tha neighbahood.  How you been?  Havent seen you inna while."
"Im still doin my thang, ya know.
Roamin from town ta town, chasin down tail."
"Yous still chillin in dem alleys too?"
"Fa sho!"
"Man, aint a **** thang changed wit chu.
Yous alwayz been a cool cat...”

Don't try to explain to your mind I don't know what is happening here one minute it's love and suddenly one word turn into a battlefield. Why is it that smallest things that tear us all down? I'm not here without a shield, can't go back now both hands behind my back! Oh no these time we climb so fast only to fall again! Why have we got to fall for it now? I never to start a war you know I never meant to hurt you don't know what we are fighting for. Oh why dose love feel like a battlefield?

Is this what love feel like this?... I can't swallow that pride nether of us want to raise the flag mmmm... If we can't surrender then we are going to lose what we have oh no! Both hands tied behind my back for nothing oh no these time we climb so fast we fall again! I don't want to for it now I never meant to start a war you know I never want to hurt you. Don't even know what we fighting. Oh why dose love always fell like a battlefield?

Guess you better go and get your armour, We could pretend that we friends tonight and in the morning we wake up and it will be alright because maybe we done have to fight and I don't want this love to feel like a battlefield? Oh why dose love fell like a battlefield?

Guess you you better go and get your armour, I never meant to start a war you know I never want to hurt you I don't what we are fighting for. Why does love always feel like a battlefield? Why dose love always fell likes battlefield?

Guess you better go and get your armour, why dose love always feel like a (oohh....) why dose love always feel like a battlefield? I never meant to start a war I don't even know what we fighting for, I never meant it to start a war I don't know even know what we are fighting for?....

Pay attention everyone said Lilliput
I have an important announcement
We're going to have a wonderful picnic
For our family on Thursday , poppits only
The groans were heard all over the palace
Are we riding there , asked Horsey Anne
No we jolly well are not
And you scrum half Zara , are not either
We're motorcading it , without staff
Another really loud royal moan
We are each taking everything we need
And that includes you ex pork of York
'OOHH NNOO' she gurgly grunted
Less of that , and NO toe suckers allowed
Nor arrive in a kiddies helicopter either
And you Wills missus more clothing
You make my  blue blood run cold
Next Thursday then , you picnickers

What have you brought asked Lilliput
Silver knives and forks hoarsed Anne
Paper plates grunted Flossy Fergie
Plastic cups , whimpered Wills missus
Lav paper for tissues, gidded up Zara
Big tablecloth bellowed Camilla
Have none of you brought food said Lilliput
'NO' they all mardily whinnied
None of us even thought about it

And you mumsy H.R.H. what have you brought

'NOBODY questions me , you pipsqueaks
LET'S ALL GO HOME NOW !

If you could see the way she looks at you
you would know

But you're busy building walls of doubt
nursung weary what-ifs
like feeding gremlins after midnight

I have this picture of the both of you

You are staring off into your imagination
always just above the horizon

And she is laughing
at something you said

She is looking right at you
smiling honest

Only you can make her laugh like that
Only you

I guess some of us need it spelled out
Our egos need to be reminded

You are not always going to be her favorite everything
You are not the best

But for whatever reason she chose you

Chose you like a raffle ticket
from a barrel full of so much better

You are not a jackpot
she is not a jackpot
but you both have won something

You're both walking away with what you came here for

You break her heart some days
How her eyes sadden
and she does that thing that girls do

you know
when they go
awww but it's pronounced oohh
(Men love that sound)

I see the tremble in her arms
the hesitation to hold your head to her *******

But your signals cross
and you beat yourself up later
for not acting differently
because she might fall in love with you
if you had done things differently

You can't act your way into a relationship
If you're not being yourself
You're being somebody else
and in that case
she's better off with that other guy

It makes me wonder about lightbulbs
and how many people it takes to ***** them in
depending on your occupation

I wonder how many pairs of eyes it takes
to notice what love looks like

Because if you could see the way she looks at you
you would know
and the only thing you might do differently
is continue to be yourself

Four Poems on the Tapestry Art of Jilly Edwards*

Yellow is the New Blue

From the train window
that yellow of summer
****-bright, and almost aromatic,
not a field colour in a fifties childhood
so we grew up without it you and I,
first curious at its occasional occurrence,
then somewhat overwhelmed
by its presence where pasture green
or golden wheat once was, and now this,
more than lemon and lemon-sharp too,
wonderfully colliding with any blue day
when the sky rests against a wolding sweep
of this crop the colour of daffodil.


Follow the Path to the Heart

Altar piece? But no, too small,
and there’s no God hiding there
under the table: this is on the wall.

Anyway, look at the panels here,
blue at the far end, surprising
but necessary, a clear

sea depth folding into itself a bare
surrounding whiteness of peace,
of supplication, a contemplative sampler

free from improving verse
or repetitious decoration.
It is all it is, even less.


Woolly Pictures and Plastic Boxes

I don’t do woolly pictures on the wall,
She said, and her son had smiled
in agreement. Long narrow strips instead,
She continued, rolled up to fit in a box
with tail-like braids sneaking out
and around and across and down
falling from a shelf or a window sill.

And those plastic (partitioned) boxes,
oohh! – I bought fifty wholesale from
Muji,  she exclaimed. I fill them
with moments, with evidence
of my journeying: always a railway ticket,
sometimes a torn wrapper stitched to mend,
then a tiny tapestry woven to fill one frame,
inevitably, a large-lettered cautionary word.

Standing on their sides my boxes
become rows of open windows,
a transparent gathering of memory,
a railway carriage of memorabilia.  
You can take them out, she said,
and put them back in a different way.
Memory is like that, the same trip
but the ordering altered:
there and back, back and there.


Ma

It’s a state of mind
Agnes talks about
and draws without a ruler,
a grid empty of everything
except the line, except a colour
all across and down
on *washi paper.

It’s space, you know,
a gap, a pause, an interval
or a consciousness of place,
a simultaneous awareness
of form and non-form,
an intensification of vision.

There it is on the wall.
This one, she points,
more blues than a lonely blue
ma gives shape to the whole,
my tapestry of negative space.

When I look at the sea
it’s all ma out there,
in the sparkle of reflections
on the cut-glass water,

where there is too much form
to hold against the heart,
where space is substance.

my fingers, slowly running down the length-
Of your perfectly done, Brazilian weave.
My touch; tender, yet laden with strength-
A normal human mind cannot perceive.

But, we are not exactly 'normal.' Are we?
Not now. We're a time bomb of passion;
Paint brushes on the canvas of history;
Electric rivers of lust. We are turned on.

Marching into me at the command of fate-
You crush your thick lips against mine!
Like when sunlight and earth first met;
This complex is beyond beauty's line.

Fantasy flavored bliss, deep coated in ecstasy;
Kisses of your lips, your tongue, your taste.
Reading my braille body language, feeling me.
My hands, gripping your 30 inch-sized waist.

My heart, rushing to find the pace of yours.
My blood, surging, racing. I'm pulsating.
The world outside is closing its doors;
As we get heated us up; hyperventilating.

Let me kiss your lips with a passion strong-
Enough to awaken 1000 sleeping beauties.
Hold me like in my arms is where you belong;
Your home, like its where your heart really is.

Right here. Right now, is my present; you.
Lose your top, descend from the heels.
Actions speak louder, let me say 'I love you'-
With silent words flowing as if spinal chills.

Instinctively, we take off my T-shirt-
Lips still locked. Tongues exploring.
You slowly slip off your purple skirt;
Every curve sending one more sting!

By faith, we struggle to your spread bed,
Knocking things over with no single care.
'Mmhh...Touch me here...' what? You said?
Its hard to listen. Should I touch you there?

My hands map out your body's geography.
To the gravity of your bosoms, they succumb.
Mmmhhh...Then finally they break free,-
And touch your body, till you cant keep mum.

We rid ourselves of our last pieces of clothing;
Hands on auto-pilot doing... I don't know.
Addressing every curve, touching everything,
But careful enough to pretend to be slow.

Invited by your rapid breaths, I get in.
You stop and look up at me in disbelief;
Coming to terms with me deep within,
Holding back moans of pain and relief.

Mmmhhh... Your kisses taste sweeter.
Wait! There is no need for you to cry.
Together; one. Life can have no better-
Than the moment we have you and I.

Yes! Say my name! Say my name again!
Your nails in my skin; my hands in your hair.
My villain; inflicting irresistible pain.
My angel. Goddess. My love's flare.

Ooohhhkayy... This is it... I can feel it.
'You're beautiful. I love you.' Let go...
Here; come. You don't have to hold it;
Express yourself. I really want to know.

You take me down in a flash and-
Steer our love ride round and round.
Heeding your firm, sweet command;-
I'm in your law's chains; I'm bound.

You look beautiful from down here.
Your hands, not knowing what to do;
In your hair. In the air. Here, I'm near!
Here I go... Oohh! You're beautiful...

Stay there... Keep at it... Yes! Yes! Yes!
Don't stop! Don't slow down! Go on!
Go crazy! Yes! Mmmhh... Your sweetness!
Agghhh... Here; come. Here; come on!

Nokia 3310 vibration... Open the door.
Pouring out your all to me, and I to you.
OK. Breathe... Kiss me once more.
Now rest and get ready for round two.

Keep Smiling

Could I blame him? He asked me to sing his favorite John Mayer song. Then the curtains fell from their state of grace, but there wasn’t any need to hang them until we finished; by then the windows had all fogged up. I didn’t know the lyrics to the song, so instead he had me struggling for the words to say. Because when the body struggles under another body’s weight, words become incoherent, obsolete, and syllables become the only words you need. Bated, gasping, ugh, unh, oohh. Our, he, his, my, I. I had invited him to our house. I laid him on our bed. He took his shoes off of his own accord, because to his (mis)understanding, it was my house.

You showed him all the best of you
But I'm afraid
Your best wasn't good enough.
I know he never wanted you
At least not the way
You wanted yourself to be loved
And you feel like you were a mistake.
He's not worth all those tears that won't go away
I wish you could see that.

Still you try to impress him
But he never will listen

Oh broken angel
Were you sad when he
Crushed all your dreams?
Oh broken angel
Inside your dying
'Cause you can't believe
Oh you can't believe

And now you've grown up
With this notion that you were to blame.
And you seem so strong sometimes
But I know that you still feel the same.
As that little girl
Who shines like an angel.
Even after his lazy heart
Put you through hell.
I wish you could see that

Still you try to impress him
But he never will listen

Oh broken angel
Were you sad when
He crushed all your dreams?
Oohh broken angel
Inside your dying 'cause
You can't believe
He would leave you alone
And leave you so cold
When you were his daughter

But the blood in your veins
As you carry his name
Turns thinner than water

How it feels like to stay outside during the rainy days
While enjoying the feeling of getting wet
The feeling of standing at the tip of the boat
In the middle of the ocean
Driving out of town, in full blast stereos
Ice creams and parks
Chills of a -0 temperature, and a warm pillow
Discover different cultures
Letters <3
Sleep overs
This is getting shorter and shorter…
View deck, skies, stars, galaxies
Bonfire
Reaching the highest note, experiencing glass brakes
The feeling of being as skinny as a hanger >.< no!
Touching the ocean floor
The feeling of being the painter who painted Mona Lisa
Natural glossy hair

Oohh...A vision of selfishness….. >.<

Are you wanking in your stockings in the halls.
It's time that us guys **** and squeeze our *****
We will ride an ugly old old dear
It's their ***** we want to slay
We'd love to ******* silly for the day

[Chorus:]
So here it is merry **** time
Everybody show your ***,
look at our arseholes now
We really need to ***.

Are you waiting for the fat slags to arrive?
I'm sure their big ***** have plenty room inside
The old ***** always tell you
That their ***** are the best
And their ***** are better than the rest

[Chorus:]
So here it is, Merry **** time
Everybody show your ***
Look at our hairy *****
We really need to ***

Who are you going to do
When your mother has her bit of a *****
Oooh oo oooh oohh

Are you wanking in your stockings in the halls
We'll **** your old fat mother when she calls
We will **** her on the hillside
That's where she will get laid
We'll *** deep inside her
When her legs are splayed

[Chorus:]
So here it is. Merry **** time
Everybody show your ***
Look at our **** holes now
We really want to ***

So here it is, Merry **** time
Everybody show your ***
Look at *** holes now
We really need to ***

So here it is, Merry **** time
Everybody wants a ***
Take your knickers down
We always need to ***

So here it is, Merry **** time
Everybody wants a ***
(It's **** time!)
Get up her ******* now
We really need to ***

Ben, Ben! the voice cried out...
I looked back to the source of the sound
along came running a very very skinny man
now alongside the face looked familiar yet still unknown
Ben! it me, its me Eric...its me
It dawned, then it puzzled, then it alarmed, then it made me laugh
wow, hey! Eric old bean, where have you been hiding, whats de show
the last time I saw you at the Student Bar, you were talking blonds
now look at you, looking like a praying mantis on a diet of water
you just disappeared, thought you left college, I couldn't find you
yeah! Eric said, his face falling and hollowed eyes searched mine
Ben, he said in lowered tones
Man, I've had quite a rough time of late,  been out of College, man!
yea, I know that, silly, I just said so, dumdum!
he smile a thin smile on a thin face in a thin kinda way
Ben!
Yessss
Well, remember that blond gal I was raving about to you, that night
yea, the last time I saw you, you were sited with Phoebe
both of you playing tongue Tennis, she was really hung on you
yes, said I, but back to you, I said, still not believing what I'm seeing
Well, I went home with the blond gal, that evening
Yessss, said I again
well things got exciting
OOhh....said I with a smile, naturally, I expect, I added
The thing is, he stammered as I raised an eye brow
the thing is, I spent a long time eating her!
you did what? I inquired, like I didn't hear first time
You know, says Eric with a sly look, I ate her
Ok, Ok, says I, I get the picture, I've done likewise myself
we both laughed, the way errant young men do
So, continued Eric, the next day I couldn't eat a thing
what do you mean, says I. You didn't eat the poor gal, I hope
God, are you a cannibal now, where is she, I said in mock horror
No, I didn't eat her like that, I just ate her, you know
Anyway, all next day and days and days after I couldn't keep food down
went to the hospital, they said its some endo-something bug
I've taken all kinds of tablets and potions, still I can't keep food in
my tummy  screams and hurt, my insides fight them-selves
I suffer all the time, I think I'm gonna die
I didn't know if to laugh or cry or do both
Oh Christ Eric, is these all true, you sure its not cancer you've got
No, they said its not cancer and they've done lots of tests.
Where is the blond gal, I asked, as if that would help anything
I haven't been to College, I don't know
Oh man, I'm sorry to hear all this, so sorry for what's happening
listen, lets meet up later, we'll talk more, take it easy old chap
where are you going now, Eric asked
I looked at scarecrow Eric, I did not smile
" I'm going to cancel a date with a blond I'd made for tonight"

oohh gawd though what constantly
motions ahead of my pondering choice
commotion in my head has no voice
ooh gawd this unsound topic
has yet to rejoice with me
after my plea that it deter me
from comprehending life like an invoice
ooh gawd why commotion in my head
either shuts me up or sits me down
whenever my simulated voice is about to bring me down