the dance I do with
myself
somehow, deliberately stomping on
my own feet.

stopping just before the gap oh-
I mind it
don't mind if I
do pass right THROUGH it.

shoot the foot? I have holes
to the stars.

I could hang hooks on the wounds I've
pierced in my nervous little soul.

Confident bark, blink and nod.

"Padlocked and sealed," I'll say.

But through my teeth, raw, I know I'm just treading mud
and banking on the Gods.

Words tattooed her thighs.
Chocolate hair fell in her eyes.
Muscle queen stomped
gymnastick,
round silver poles.
She was no stripper,
but an athlete
for tips
and hand shakes
and bills in her
cracking her face,
her face must be
cracking to
***-grabbing lions,
prowling LA's
city sierra bored.
I couldn't imagine
Queen Courtney crying.
But upside down,
floating disco lights
exposed pursed face shows.
She girated
***-lined hips
for tips, not ego.
Splits and tricks
choking chuckling girls
saluting her routine,
tossing one's,
wishing they were ten 0's.

She looked magnificant.
I asked her if she was a gymnast.
She said something like that,
eyes fixed on the sleek floor,
strong arms chilled by the cold —
men with thick wallets and no home.
So I gave her my coat.

i once met a girl
who loved to sing.
to others she was not a well singer,
but to me it was lovely
phrases that floated off of her tounge.
i look up at sky and stare off into space,
knowing that she is looking at the
exact same picture.
i hope to one day meet you in person,
because you are one unique little girl, Gabrielle Marie.
i have known you for quite some time,
and i feel as though you understand where i come from.
you know how to make me happy,
and you know when i feel angry or calm.


it is magnificant to know that you are miles
and miles
away from me,
and yet somehow you get me.

i know one day from now, i will eventually meet you in person.
i will hug you
and squeeze you
and kiss your face,
and i will tell you what you need to hear.
i will tell you that i will never find anyone quite like you.
for you in my eyes,
are
breathtaking.

{-m.j.}

made by me.

The *** with match, lit the fire
scolding kettle with burnt goaless ambition.
claiming snobbish golden prowess
paid in wanton , savage, screaming tuition.
"It is I" said ***
"Who has sent aromas of worlds
preperations in lifes gluttonous lust
smiling rewards genorously hailed
with slothed culanary trust..."
"tis true" whispered kettle
"It is I, the ***,
forged in iron clad
who in laborious toil
so generously cast my sweet savory scraps
amongst your soot and soil..."
"tis true" hissed kettle,
"For I, the ***,
adapt in multiple arrangement
of compliment and comfort where you lack
with singular solitary function
wailing, seared and scarred in black..."
"Tis true" whistled kettle
"I, the ***,
filled in glorious substance and magnificant sustenance
praised in lifes delicate, vital, victuals and viands
in with which I do enhance..."
"Tis true" howled kettle
"Yet it is I, Kettle,
in further fashion of design
than copious function in fare
do not heed your song and dance..."
"Blah" clammered ***
"For it is I, the lowly kettle,
sing to each melodious morning
to begin the days
unknown magical soaring..."
"Pishaw" growled ***
"It is I, kettle,
bestowed in somber, modest truth of fact
nakedly express that
you too, my dear ***
are simply black..."
"humbug" steamed ***
*** humbled... kettle mumbled...
"It is in each honorable day
we serve our distinguishable stay
in detectable unadorned identicle way.
"Tis true" said ***...

A ghost doesn't always need a host.
Hidden messages they can post.
Finding children who are missing & lost.
Whatever the cost.
Ariel is the boss.
We suffered a severing loss.
She is still in charge.
We ain't living that large.
She is motherless.
I am childless.
Our sacred bond was forced broken.
Bitterness & scorn is choking.
Ireland we can run.
A vacation would be fun.
Ariel is a magnificant star.
The target of a custodial war.
She is gifted & talented.
A spirit that's been lifted.
She joined my life.
She is still Fatherless & I not yet a wife.
A celestial being which I am seeing.
She has always been the plan.
I am her biggest fan.

Like a spider on *******
I weave dysfunction
in   a      haphazard    way
My web has huge              gaping                         holes
It continues to u
                         n
                      r
                         a
                      v
                        e
                      l
                       
Stops short of beautiful
I begin one segment
then d
         r
         o
         p it to start piecing together another
My web lacks intricate details
that would make it magnificant to others
My web cannot function naturally
the way instinct intended
The holes in my web
cause opportunities to fly right by and through
leaving me hungry, confused and reliant on you
This web is a silky mess
So I'll just leave it be
to end up
on someone's eyelash
as they acquiesce.
Like a spider on *******
I         weave    dysfunction
        in  a     hap-haz-ard      
                                                                ­    way.

it's the night of fireflies
where emotions seem to flicker just like their light

faint is my breathing
and there is a lack of inspiration

guilt runs through my bloodstream
it has once said to be spoiled

and i long to live in a dream

a nasty infection;
words are stolen by the television
and the anger inside my heart seems to be in remission

for now

lets pretend it never happened
for it was far to embarassing to remember
so lets watch movies on why things are the way they are
reading has become a thing of the past
so lets add another chapter
just because

ask me questions, i don't mind
we can do it to **** the time
the time we have created
just to measure the way the world spins
just to feel in control

maybe i can see all the colors
and am searching for something
i've found years ago


actually no, i've lied
i'm not satisfied

so lets help the wounded,
let us help the blind;

tell the stories of magnificant creatues
that fly in the night==
magically they glow
choosing when they want to show the world
what it is they were destined to do

lets own our history
and erase what was here before.

no one seems to see past my fingertips.

flood warnings
aren't as easily avoided
as i'd like for them to be

And the pieces fall, not crashing down alerting everyone
But slowly slipping silently from my fingers dripping with blood,
The beaten and worn slices mixed with a deep crimson, glisten on the floor beneath my feet.
To think that those shards once were being held out to you for the keeping is foolish
As before when they were beautifully welded together without scratches nor scars to be seen,
You denied and manipulated the magnificant detail bestowed upon you.
I'll go on, living the facade of smiling faces and emotion-full eyes, you won't tell the difference and no one else can.
All the skipped heart beats and lasting hugs come to an abrupt end seemingly wasted and impossible.
I take a step and a promising crunch rings out signifying the closure of pain,
Because to hurt, you need a heart and you just blatently destroyed my last one into a million little glass shards...

The beauty of her eyes are bold
Brighter than the glass that's blown
Hit the bowel of the soul,
She makes me feel week
Lovely like mink but, after her eyes look *****
Its okay because her lovelyness is what I seek
This wonderful feeling is magnificant
And thank you, love for noticing my small existance

We see our own truths
Two, extremely different views
Thee from me
Allowing us to broaden our minds
Finding gold
The purest kind

You
You helped me to find
Sparkling treasure
Behind my broken burdened heart

You counger magic within
Flowing up and out
Paying it forward

You have enabled me to see
What I never have before
In such an explicit way
Wilder days for me
and you
Maybe
Lovely lady

Follow the beauty of your spirit
For what I see in you is truely magnificant
I see enchanting magical rhythm
Moving slowly like a perfect creature

She thinks I am a preacher
But I am just trying to reach her
To help her to see the distinct features
Of the perfect creature

Your like a beautiful white horse
Standing proud
Stunning, shining white
From your inner soul
Dark brown, intense eyes
Twinkling in the light

The bright
Blue skys
Behind
Its a mesmerising
Sight

Let me show you what I see
Like you have shown me
Found the gold
From my captivating Queen

Despose of me please
Sweet Queen
I am indestructable with thee
Open the gates and see

Forth we go and into the realm
We create
The realm, so beautiful you see
It frightens me

I wish for one more second
I wish for one more minute
I wish for one more hour
I wish for one more night

How I long to hold you
Look at all of you
Devour you intensely
So immensely
I look to you; into you
You come
Its so much fun looking into you

Fizzing inside
Fasinating mind
Inspiring find

The colours you paint
Pure art you are

The flowers
You decorate
Trickling lightly over every part
I am consumed by your art
Sweetheart

Going through
Into the lagoons
With you
I am in your trance
My insides
They dance

I just want to be my own perfect
not you, or anyone else
I don't want to look like her
and I don't need to be with him

I just want to wake up in the morning
every morning

and see myself without a blemish.
myself through God's eyes
how magnificant

When I reach my end-state,
I hope to see the pearly gate
and see them streets of gold
in a place deemed celestial
                   a place of eternal beings
                   in harmony worshipping
                   the King of kings, by his grace,
                   may we get through,
to, or near the throne,
killed off my flesh and bone,
but spared my soul, so
ever thankful, eternally grateful
                  when I see the cloud descend
                  and hear them trumpets play
                  on the Great and Magnificant day
                  off we go to see this heavenly place
but until then, I'll live
in love and loyalty, hum-b-ly,
as I leave behind a harvest
for our children to reap
                 unearned and undeserving
                 forgiveness was freely given to we
                 making it my duty to live
                 a life that honors He
despite my own imperfect way of living
live honestly; despite your theology
live a life deemed honorably

                  @desire.is.dope
                    ­ 2-24-19
                     1650HRS

It's as though I am on a carousel
Just going in circles unable to get off
Repeating my mistakes over and over
My demise is the fare, my cost

To get off this circling ride
I've yet to figure it out
Since all I want is to just hide

So I will pretend I am a princess
Sitting upon her steed
the lion and the elephant
Always there for me

Then I can be a lady of status
In her chariot so fair
Led by horses magnificant      
Their manes obsidian, like your eyes and hair

Well, there goes the daydream
You've snuck right back in  
I just need to forget you
Unfortunately,  you are my favorite sin

A nuetron star born in a silent room for a breif moment. A cascading caphoney cracked and cratered my cranium in a moment of concious exhileration. Dumb struck and reeling as i found my self in the malestrom of a magnificant multichromatic  multiverse.  Touching to touch what crazy subconcious thing have you seeded into my mind.

It is crowded.
People bustle and laugh and speak.
Each of them have lives and dreams and hopes and pains
Each of them have friends and family and love and are loved and
I am alone. I feel lonely.

Please help me.
Words die on the tip of my tongue, incinerated by the lack of a listening ear and
Thoughts die before they form for lack of conversation and
I am alone. I feel lonely.

I feel as though I am spinning into a magnificant crash landing and
Only vibrate to a stop when I am wrapped tightly in arms and
Feel the emptiness crush to a compacted version of itself and
I am alone. I feel lonely.

I stop breathing occasionally and panic when I can't remember how to inhale and
I wonder why I feel relief in those moments, just behind the terror and
I scold myself because I was never brave nor cowardly enough to and
I am alone. I feel lonely.

There was a time when I would bleed emptiness onto my floor and
Slice into my skin with a knife as dull as the world seems to be and
Starve it out of my body with a determined for of will and
I am alone. I feel lonely.

I am empty, exhausted now, too tired to coax the void out of me and
I can no longer remind myself that things will be better as they are not bad and
I instead stare into space and wait until my closed eyes will not reopen and
I am alone. I feel lonely.

black is
the root of
the tree
the shore
that rest
by the sea
the beauty
the dwell
inside of me
all of
my branches
all of
my leaves
where
the birds
nest in
the trees
the black earth
that plant
the seed of peace
inside of me
black is
the essesnce
of my being
black is my God
black is
magnificant and triumphant
black is
strength and persistence
black is my gentle breeze

Many folk tales
of beings
being able to
transform
into magnificant beasts:

the best of men,
the best of beasts.

As my heart leaks with the blood of innocent
The cold making it into a crystal so magnificant
Whie the flame slowly burning no different
The steel bars that makes the heart imprisonment

Chains wrapped around pushing out the air
Slowly opening its eyes with cold tears and a stare
Its not fair and it can only bare
Realizing its own life is just a dare

The heart slowly loosing what it had
Becoming even more than sad
Washed away being mad
Knowing things can get bad

Looking down as the heart sees slashes
Hitting the steel bars as it bashes
Leaving more cuts and gashes
slowly giving up and backing into darkness it vanishes