The stage was  set the little untalented ***** monkeys gathred
like bizzar attention seeking ******  all for the title
of  Hello Poetry's top poet.

But enough with the weird named carbon copy poets
who now **** the charts im just saying im a little bitter.
Lets take a look at the judges you silly little donkeys.

It was a who's who of people who actully were something
that what in the real world we like to call original.
Jack  yes the loveable kinda ******* ****** who deep
down would probaly have more in common with Jack the Ripper
than Lord Byron  im just saying.

Baths  yes the queen of Hello  and i'd  be a smart *** now but im scared she'd hurt me  and not in a good way  not that im into
pain dam you Marv  Albert    i never knew the tijuanna brass were so freaky.

Chris Smith  the poet  the model  the all  around  hansome devil
with a heart of gold  you go girl.

Phil Roberts  the silent  yet  down right evil  arch enemy of
all things  sweet and pure finally off probation and his meds.
Still the restraining  order was in full effect thank God  Barney
that devil worshiping dinosuar was no where in site  and as long as the voices in Phils head were happy we were all safe.

And the man the myth the pervert drunken *******  of Hello.
Just back from his recent vist   to  Shady Pines  resort slash mental
institution.
Gonzo  along with his court ordred doctor .
Dr Jerry  Who held many degree's in bartending,Massage therapy with happy endings,And chemistry yes  he was a real busy ******* slash drug fiend okay dealer.
What a girl has her needs.

Sitting at the judges table it was the usal chatter how are you.
Nice ***'s  hey Phil  put down the knife.
Jack  wear did you get that muzzle and straight jacket?
Baths  reminding me she didnt wanna have to use the pepper spray
like at the Hello christmas party.

Gonzo pouring his wild turkey.
Dr Jerry yelling  hey just what do you think your doing?
What are ya drinking by yourself?
Good point  you silly *******  so after four strong drinks
some lines of uhh  sinus powder from Columbia they dont just
make records  to my suprize we were off like lindsy lohan
on a drug I mean  well a drug run.

The first couple of guys read there genitic poems all of which
were like taco bell food.It  pretty much  would either give you food poisening or the ****'s.

Person after person read there poetry the drinks poured
people gave there opinions  Chris well the poem was great just maybe pace it better.

Baths giving another deep comment that was always welcome
that and the contestants outta sheer fear knew not to cross her
cause **** happens after dark around here and the Hello dumpster
is filled with not just bottles of wild turkey yeah remember Drew?
Exactly.

Jack gave a long muffled  comment  that must have surely been brillant someone should really remove that dam muzzle.

Phil  goddamed dinosuar  i'll teach him for playing hard to get.
oh yeah he'll like it he'll like it real good  oh look
a puppy dog.

Okay kinda weird  but well yeah.

Then the  attention turned to the attention grabing little *****
of Hello  no not  Gary ****** man.
the only G that matters beside's spot  Gonzo.

Well I think you need to lean more into the microphone  when you
read  and um well to relax  show more clevage.
And may I say if that was a samba   it totally ******
1 star.

The room and other judges must have been amazed by my depth
for they were all silent.
Dr Jerry aplauded  dam he really knew how to fill out that cheerleading outfit   we really needed to take a fishing trip im just saying
male bounding is okay sometimes  just ask Phil.

The people kept rolling in i slept through most of the mens readings
the women  because im a gentleman  and a scholar I had DR Jerry give my card  cause if Ican help inspire and guide maybe cuddle  fresh hot
young poets im all for it   I know what your saying yes I am  
giving back to the Hello community and not just STD's and hangovers.

But enough with the foreplay  finally  with the tension built up
like little catholic school girls waiting for there savior Justin Bieber to make a appearence   it was time.

Who was Hello's top new poet.
The short little **** *******  slash  napoleon of hello walked to the mic.
And after several  attempts at reaching it  one of his many  
assistants slash  friends with benfits of staying on the charts forever
assumed the possition.
So he could stand on there back and talk in the mic.
Get your mind outta the gutter.

The winner is  for there poem the Gentic.
There began a rumble beside me ******  Dr Jerry
stop jerking off were public man.

But it wasnt my dealer I mean doctor .
It was My fashion forward amigo Jack.
The rumbling continued slowley the straps began to snap
as his color changed to red once would have been to green
if not for copyright infrigement dam you king kong.

The red devil burst from his restraints  like a  stripper off
a four week ******* binge let loose  at Macdonalds.
tables flew  clothes were ripped.
Bathe's yelled  at the top of her lungs  look ****** I have a tazer
so if you try to cop a feel i'll use it.
Must have been talking to Phil or Chris.

I knew what to do  in this chaos i quickly ran with the special talent of Hello  to my dressing room  DR Jerry  emergency bring  wild turkey duct tape  a video camera  a inflatable swimming pool  some jello mix and  a Kenny G  cd  and some roofies .
Im kidding  I never listen to Kenny G.

The screams were that of a german shapard ripping a smurf to shreads.
Help me  plaese  mommy I almost felt sorry for Eliot.
But i did what a true gentleman slash long winded journalist does in these time's. Sat back with some cocktails and enjoyed some jello
wrestling  opps  I think  the tickle monster is loose.

Me first  me first  ******  Phil  well if it keeps the voices at bay
why the **** not.
We laughed we danced  Jack Horner  bathed in Eliots blood.
While Chris said please  stop including me in these ****** stories
Gonzo.
    
While Baths  kept her tazer in hand  and dry white wine in the other.
Much like  a bad habbit I grow on you.
Jack looked at me as old brothers in shared insanity often do.
Hey Gonzo  when ya  gonna end this one mate?
Hey amigo  as soon as ya get that  *** on stage and close the show
with a lady gaga  preformance.

The *****, the *******,  the Brits,And Gonzo,
With his doctor slash roadie slash personal man servant bartender
who could ask for anything more than a purple dinosaur's head on a platter but enough about Phil.

Untill next time Stay Crazy  Kids.
Gonzo.

The last outlaws of Hello  had rode long and hard.
And after leaving the brothel finally hit the road.
Wild Turkey feuled ****** Amigo stop touching my ****.
Dear lord man how many times can we listen to lady gaga

Get your minds outta the gutter really just who
do ya think your reading?
I dont write **** like VK rowling or Miya Angelou  or was
her last name Cyrus anyways who in the state of Hannah Montana
gives a **** anyways?

Just over the border we finally landed in the land
of masked wrestlers hostoric sights
yes who doesnt like a donkey show?

The cantina hot as usal my amigo looking around
confussed like a young  Ricky Martin  befor
the rockstar life of menudo ****** him all up.

Drinks flowed music played  dam macdonalds was great down here.
well cept for the clown who wore his red nose in  a diffrent place
bad touch kids.
Least my uncle was fitting in here lord help his boyscout troup.
camping in uncle Ronnys bed taught you a lotta things
like never to sleep on your stomach.

But enough with the foreplay children.
We were on a mission.
But not one from the big guy.
Although im not much on worship
besides  Bill Gates was a tool anyhow.

We spent the night drinking dancing not togather
that is.  Although Jack was a great kisser
but enough about are fishing trips
Gary was already jelouse as it was.

It was great fun till the dam hangover kicked in
it hurt so dam bad it was like Justin Bieber had
caught me asleep and ***** my ear like his mother
had sold his soul so she wouldnt have to work.

The pounding in my head,the drunken Brit in the sambero
Bouncing up and down on the bed singing paparazzi
but enough bout Goldie were the hell was Jack?

And who the hell killed the ****** and put her  
in the bathtub?
Jesus fargone Phil must have been here
no wonder I was missing a kidney thoose naughty Brits get me every time.


After diposing of the body thoose blind kids
will have fun with that pinyatta.

I was off leaving no stone or  whiskey bottle or brothel unturned.
I interogated so many senoritas.
Finally I figured I should ask where Jack was.

Finally after a good session with a older woman
the sixteen year old finally gave it up.
And then I remembred to ask the question how much?
Im kidding I asked that way befor the umm interogation.

******* the tatoo from fantasy island sounding woman replied.
Lord woman no time for a puppet show im not uncle Ronny.
No senior *******.
Lord dear woman  what you didnt get to watch the muppet show as a kid or something?

Finally ****** the starnge sounding woman blurted out.
Look ******* Jack's off he left with some weird little guy earlier.
they took a plane.

All a sudden from the sky I herd a sputtering
noise and like a bald eagle  who had a affair with a unclean vulture.
Im just saying.
It emerged from the coulds a small plane  the door flew open
Jack appeared with another man why was it yes it was Eliot.

Why you ***** ***** you!
Ouch **** miss I was talking to Jack.
Oh my bad senior but you desserve that just for writting
this ****.
everyones a critic.

Seems my amigo was taking Eliot sky diving dam great way to bound.
well it was cept thoose Brits seem to not use parachutes
but hey you really cant feel much with them on anyways.

Eliot like a well.
Like a guy threw from a plane screamed  worse
than a teenage girl  at a Jonas Brothers Concert
Hey my wife wanted to go okay.
Thank God the house broke his fall.

There lay Eliot crying like Tiger Woods after
his divorce hearing.
No worries my friend  I called a ambalance.
Three hours later the horse and bugee finally pulled up to
the hospital.

Im joking it wasnt a horse it was a donkey
And it would have been sooner if it wasnt busy
being Mr show bueisness.

Later at the bar.

Gonzo and Jack  sat with there full body cast friend Eliot
sipping drinks telling stories.
Wondering why we were ******* fire.

Gonzo no wonder you love it here
what part of Mexico are we in?
Dear lord man were in mexico?
Seems my friend was a bit confussed
but then again after reading this you probaly
are two  untill next time kids  greetings from
New Jersey.

Stay Crazy Gonzo

birches and tastsy jerky wood.  resin in the immediate shubbary.... and dust and cobwwebs growing adjacent to the jerky wood.  Myraid of birds, ranging from small birch-types to crows.  A lingering dominant hawk.  A giant possum crossing between borders carrying unborn infants.  Dusty walls with abandonded spiderwebs- insect carcassases dangling, still.  Pool motors revving in every direction lets of a subtle hum that compliments the planes descending and ascending oer-head

the water is grainy yet cool and healing.  the sprinklers function at midnight and sometimes on the weekend.  Maintinance trucks, expensive commuter vehicals, modest vehicls, unmanned vehicles, arrowhead trucks, macdonalds trucks, safeway trucks....

the earth is still wheaty and chalky adjacent the jerky trees, the jerky trees have little hairs and appetizing off red color, the bark saddles off with grace and with a satisfying tare.

****!

mit ein(e)
gernierung

of... ******!

MACDONALDS
for the protestants
MCDONALDS
for the catholics...

and **** the rest of it
whoop di do d'ah
whoopsie!
   **** it...  

i always called the IRA
the ginger ninja brigade...
******* *****!
ha ha!

is that even permitted?
like...
oopsies?!
   oh ****..
the steam-roller is
giving it a shot at reading
the earth,..
flat...
   map on paper?
**** me... no app....
            
******... you ever navigate a car
through the German Rhine roundabout?
what's in it?
Dortmund.. Essen...
             you know that constipated
part of the road map of Europe...

               ever navigate that trippy
conundrum ******* of navigation?
beside me...

              can't speak german,
won't navigate in german,
no matter how many
Mercedes-Benz they pump out
from the Henry Ford institute of
the reclining chair,
supposing
   die krupps to be squidgy clean...
i think the european translation
reads:
die Dortmund Ringe...
das Rhine Ringe...
**** allocating yourself to a rally car...
   navigate through that sort
of German *******...
          achtung achtung...
autobahn ende!
               vorwärtskreis
might as well salute for a second
coming of... hítlear!
    shaking Stevens?
  huh?!
               knee on the no contra
the know: bother...
the english won't know...
isn't that nay?
   i listen to too much lawyer
jargon...
             i'd love to listen to
poetry...
but... i figured...
   lawyers play the slight of
the sly of hand that poets
exasperate into toying with words
to accomplish art...
lawyers? the impasse of
judgement?
  **** me!
                  apparently the argument
goes:
down syndrome...
psychopaths...
'ere by god's grace...
   much grace, my lord...
             too much grace...
        
two salvation pointers:
(a) i won't drink with them...
(b) i won't eat with them,
(c) there is no "c" that isn't
a "d" that isn't an "e"
        "f", etc!
you get a zebra...
you get a null bonus!
a ******* safari of an automated
anti hamster Boston outfit!

Some live to live and some just to die and some walk blindfolded but I want to know why,the river flows to the sea and doesn't stop at the shore,before the vastness of space was there vastness before or was it more of the same and are fairy tales true to the pixies who **** them,or are they just unpicked seams in the dreaming of children?

Who raises the corn,who decides when were born,are we torn from a notebook,just pages to look at?

Who decided to call time before time ever was,was it because they were bored,when you hit the floor running does it matter how fast and do we last longer if we exercise and get stronger or is that just half right with the other half wrong(er).

Some people die without ever wondering why, and I wonder why,
that is.

The road was always interesting but I figured after my last
um run in with  authorities gonzo needed to lay
low and anyone else he could get his hands on.

Apon return  I found i had some unpaid parking tickets and
some unretuned videos ****** man thoose  videos were
no joke you ever cross paths with a ******* video store clerk
it wasnt pretty and i really wasnt up for ******  oil wrestling
at the moment.

The strange device attached to the phone that spoke and I belived
had turned my on to drugs was filled with voices.
many of which asking the same question.

Gonzo  where have you been?
Gonzo Im late.
****** woman should have left sooner.
Why was that my problem  oh ****.
Well maybe we erase that one  change my name .
Who am i kidding  no one could be this goddamed good looking.

So many messages played it was like a far of hello are a ****
in a packed elevator  even if ya did it you always blamed it on
Eliot  he's a nervous farter  and a wonderful dancer  so
the drag queen in vegas  told me dont ask.

Hey Gonzo did you steal my credit card?
Cause im gonna kick your  ***.
****** now the mighty samuri of hello  was mad at me.
And  a battle between poets is never a prety thing.
that and i feared i would be burried  alive by Gary  and
his many books.

Once he threw  like ninja stars  yes he new some tricks
and had spell check  but i had whiskey bottles.
And  a army of truck driving lesbians   to hide behind.

I knew it was best to seek refuge  in a place none would think to
look in a bar.
the place smelled funny and the whiskey was watred down.
And what kind of place served kids.

After the acid finally weared off i realized i probaly needed
to exit the ball bit at macdonalds cause thoose ten year old
playground gangs were known  to flip ****
when  ya  didnt hand over your happy meal.

My time on the road had taught me many things.
None of which I could remember.
Much like sobriety and spell check i had little
need for brain cells either.

So onto the pub my true home  i did return.
After  a bit of some engine troubles.
it's hell kickstarting a Harley in highheels.

******  thoose were  a nice pair to  Eliot was gonna be ******
But it was time for Gonzos return ******.
And the pud needed its favorite madman.
Cause a pub without Gonzo.

Well it's probaly better stocked but *****
friends im back.

The old Chinaman is there again today,
not a takeaway, it
looks like he's there to stay
and he sits with a look that
could barbecue steak.

I take some time and try to decide
what he's trying to hide as
he hides in the recess, but
his stomach protrudes like some boil
or an abscess so his hiding's in vain.

I refrain and have done for several weeks now
in asking him how he is doing,
I wait while MacDonalds is brewing my tea as
he waits and he looks at me
curiously.

But his eyes are long gone to a time,
back when young,
and it's not me he sees or
my MacDonalds teas,
I
wonder what his name is.

Remember when we went to the barrage and had a picnic?
yeah that was nice. all those crazy photos and swatting away ants from our picnic mat. Do you remember that time you were grounded for months? and i was the only one who could come over and we'd play in your garden with the garden hose all afternoon and then have dinner in our drenched clothes. Do you remember that time we got drunk on breezers and my mum had to come pick us up? she was mad for so long after that and didnt want us to see each other but we did. many times. to have apple pie from macdonalds or just to talk about boys. Do you remember that time your mom found out you were smoking and i took the wrap for you and let her believe it was under my influence that you did so. she called me up and demanded answers from me and threatened to call my mom. Do you remember when we went for that camp together and cried like babies thinking about how small we've become since growing up in this world with people who don't understand us like we do each other? we made a pact to forgive all those people but we needed each others help. Do you remember us both crying about our first heartbreaks? It was so unfair because it was never our faults that it didnt work out. it was just never the right time or place. Thats how the universe pushed us together, we'd find each other in all the wrong times and it was the most beautiful thing. Do you remember when i found out you lied. Again, and then that other time. You told me it was a phase and its over. but the phases keep coming on. Do you remember the look on my face? did you notice it at all. cause thats the face when i knew everything that was coming out of your mouth was a lie. Why? i never understood. was i not accepting enough? Do you not remember everything we've been through or was it just never enough. Do you remember all that we used to be? Do you remember kicking up the leaves? Do you remember our plans to travel the world. Do you remember ME..?

If the music don't **** you the brandy will,
film of nicotine on the TV screen and
the stale smell of socks emanating from
the wardrobe,
if the strobe light don't get it
neither will you.

I fight through dimensions to get your attention and
you're ******* into a MacDonalds,
21st Century Box,
proudly presents,
the future or as near as we can tell it,
48 chicken nuggets and fug it who the hell would want that many?
maybe 24 chickens?

If the music don't **** you and
Macdonalds don't fill you
you're ******.

I shot it dead but it won't die
I am effin sick of apple pies and Kentucky fries
and MacDonalds tries to **** me in to happy meals,give me some gin,let me get ******,wake me up if I have missed a thing.
Burger King is on the phone,please put me down or in a home,I'm effin sick of fast food quick Krap,slap me please,don't give me burgers with cheap cheese or onion rings or anything,give me some gin,something quick,Nando's getting closer and I am feeling sick again.

Why does it rain on my parade?
I played the eat well,get well game but it's all the effin same to quick fix.sticks and stones and chicken ****** bones that fill the effin air,fast food effin restaurants appearing effin everywhere,I'm effin sick of it,filling me with effin effluent,I'm effin getting effin fluent in talking effin ****,
give me a gin
let the effin gin work its effin way right in
and let me go to sleep.

Im the sweet talking hard headed man who never bedded your woman after we gone to macdonalds but I saw a movie with arnold now hes the mayor seemed to work in my favor.
I make gold rain i know it hurts but thats a good pain I make you rich with out even trying  why you cryin I ain´t even shyin away from my fame like a million dollar baby born with a silver spoon now tell me thats not shady
cause it ain´t son.
I´m the one you been looking for the one you been seeking for the one you been reaching for im the golf ball in the air so yell fore! cause I´m there.
Mother ***** I´ll never be a trucka when I got rhymes like dimes which take no time to fight some illegal activity.
I put suckas in cribs cause I make dem weep like kids now run home and **** on some **** Im a million dollar baby born with a silver spoon for *****.
I´m the best son cause all I do is have fun. Can´t touch this you know you want this too hot to play with you too busy making barbeque, ON MY CHEST.
I´m ******* hot not like the rest cause I spit seeds from rasberries and I know she carries blackberries but I don´t want those no more fo show. Ya know what I´m sayin.
Just to prove it doesn´t matter how you act as long as its fact that your having fun, dont mean to shun with offense in any wrong tense I said with some words that if I played the guitar I´d play you some cords but I can´t so I end this rhyme with some swords.

Walking in crowds ,it's like I'm walking through glue and half of them texting on mobiles,it's vexing.
Some solvent will solve it,dissolve them away,
I should have thought of it earlier
but it's been a hell of a day.

Where do they come from,why don't they go and why don't they move,that's what I want to know?they're in Primark and Tesco and eating alfresco,(MacDonalds of course)how coarse can one get?

I should be a reclusive find people elusive and that is my dream until then I shall scream at them,Ladies and Gentlemen clear me a path,I don't want to bath with you just want to pass by you,
just like I'm walking through glue.

I fear a day
When you'll sit next to me
And my phone will vibrate
A message from you asking what's for lunch?

I fear a day
When talented beings
Educated with graduate degrees
Will work in MacDonalds
For minimum wage

I fear a day
Where I'll need to take out a mortgage
For a parking fee
Daylight robbery

I fear a day
Where kids will no longer
Play at the park
No one ever heard of jigsaws
And wooden train sets

I fear a day
When strangers would be able to see
My every post
People I don't even know
Will know all about me

I fear a day
When people will drive to the gym
To run on the treadmill
And we'll all forget
The luminous glow of the moon

I fear a day
We'll forget about stars
And handwritten cards
When we'll care more about cars
Than our counterparts

I fear a day
When the world will all speak English
And read shakespeare
Wear the same high street gear
And eat KFC

I fear a day
Where honour and dignity
Respect and modesty
Will be a thing of the past
And those who hold steadfast
To their culture and traditions
Ways of life
Will be mocked and ridiculed as backwards

I fear a day
When all my fears
Come true
And that day a part of me will die inside
I'll lose the sound of your voice
And mums special home-made recipes with secret ingredients
I'll lose the way your letters felt
Slanted and joined so rounded together
The way the cross on the t and the dot on the i's leaned to hug one another
I'll lose the rush of the wind
As I felt how it was to fly on a swing
The reassuring touch on my back as you pushed and held me back then helped me to stop
I fear a day
I will breathe but cease to exist
Lost in mere memories of a past
Where I was meant to be

There's KFC in the cupboards and kebab in my hair and them ******* Macdonalds are just everywhere,
please take me away from this fat food today or I'll pop,let me shop in the shops where healthy food is the tops,I need not the props of reconstitutes,resolutely defying the deep fat pan frying,I'm trying to detox but it's hard.
Sweet Jesus please hear me,don't send me more chips soaked in soft lard and cooked in some oven, please send me the fare for a wheelchair to healthcare,I just cannot bear this no more.
But being skinny's a bore and when I see pizza I want more and more,I want Indian food every day and Chinese to take away,Chicken satay a la Malay and oodles of noodles all dripping with oil.
It's Sunday,the one day I can say what I like,the one day God gets bored and goes off on his bike for a ride,it's said he can't bide that contriteness,politeness,because he knows that we're sinners and there's never no winners and no one gets the ***,so just stuff your faces and eat up the lot,you've got **** all to lose and only weight you can gain,get to the counter reorder again,another burger and fries and hope nobody dies of boredom

I'm not always so bitter
or angry
or high...
on life (and other things)
I can be sad
sometimes
There is most assuredly
occasions
that the darkness brings...
I'm sad that MacDonalds
don't serve breakfast past 10
I can get down
when I run out of
alcohol (and cigarettes)
at 2am
A tear or two
have slid down my face
when the mouse
that had it's back legs broken
has escaped from it's trap
and I have to give chase
I've been known
to weep
when the hangover
kicks in
Man, it's prevalence
these days, is rife
That pretty much sums up
nearly everything
that makes me sad
All the rest
is just a byproduct
of Life

Brought up on Ikea,MacDonalds and see how you look,
I see the round seeded buns of fat burger bums and the falling apart of furniture that you couldn't start,with instructions you can't read,go feed your face in that god awful place and get out of mine.
There was a time when mums cooking was best.(lest we forget)
as yet another chicken clucks and who gives a hoot or one flying,flux,it's all in the flux,we always knew that.
This will be our ruination,the fatification (i make words up) of...oh what the hell,let's station ourself by the doors,eat chickens like foxes on tables from boxes and go with the flow.

Old tired and broken like some worn out shoe
WHY? After all I served my country and paid all my dues
Now all I have left is this torn threadbare suit
The thanks from my country for doing my bit
For the next few hours I'll just wander the streets
If I'm lucky find a doorway, have a few hours sleep
Food! Well at my age a littles enough
Maybe a discarded Macdonalds or a hard stale crust
YES, I served my country,  saw comrades die
Now I wish I'd died with them, beside them to lie
My only crime was to grow frail and old
And who's going to mourn me as my body grows cold

NOBODY because nobody cares

I love it when my
kids come home after
being at work all day
They say 'mum what's
for dinner' I say I'm
only cooking a omelette
tonight for dinner
since your all off down
the pub with dad to
play snooker , even though
your all colour blind
thank god dads there
to tell you colour of the *****!
Anyway I will see you off
and wave goodbye to you
for a few hours as I am
going to read my book
which as gripped me
to read till the end!
Hey when you come
back later pick up some
macdonalds please..I'll
have a chicken wrap with
chips and a Diet Coke..

Well that sums up my night
tonight pretty well :)

The day of my first date.
I had two dates.
I thought I'd walk in there and be out in an hour
He was early and I thought "what will this be like".
Then he talked about everything.
I don't remember the last time I'd smiled that much.
Its all I did that day.
4 hours later, I'd cancelled my second date.....
When I walked away you texted me and said you had a great time.
And you wanted to see me again that night...
To think now we've been on 5 dates and we talk every day....

Some how I made it to my second date....
He was nice, but I was on my phone.
He put me on his bike.
I thought I would fall off and I never saw him again.
Because my first date was minutes away and wanted to see me again.....

My third date
He was nice.
We had great wine, and I tried new food.
I was far away from home and so happy....
I went home and texted my first date.
Just two strangers far away from home.

My fourth date.
We walked along the beach.
Talked about dreams and laughed and smiled.
Had icecream and made videos.
I still smile about you.....
I told you I'd see you two years from then...
I kissed you goodnight and I knew I'd probably never see you again.

My fifth date.
His eyes were grey-blue.
And he was tall and so wise and for a moment I thought I'd stop running.
And maybe when we stood out there....
You smoking your cigarette.
I knew it was the end....
I almost wished it wasn't.

My sixth date.
He has that tired look on his face.
Very often its like he is too tired to talk so he uses actions.
He has that smile that makes you feel like the world is beautiful.
His smile could light up a room.
I envy his hair, he doesn't need a brush.
He makes me believe that I can try...
With him....
But we've been to dinner, the movies, Friday night games..
brunch....... I even decided I like techno music.... number 1... maybe I am starting to like you too....

My Seventh date.
I see him and I don't know what I am doing anymore.
But here we are....
Today we go to our 3rd date.....
and I am a girl who doesn't know...
But it’s easy to know when one minute we can talk a future and the next it can hit both of us that this isn’t an option.

My 8th date.
He was great.... we sipped wine at a balcony and talked about Starbucks and Macdonalds .... then we danced to music... two strangers dancing together far away yet present.....

My ninth date.
He talked about race and all things that crossed his mind....
sitting on my sofa pretending this was real....
I told you you were 20 minutes late... but you didn’t think that.
Maybe this is it for this universe.... that’s all we got.... but I’ll find ways in which I can remember you.... after all number 2 isn’t so bad a number.....

Then there is you.
The beginning....
"Can I please go with you guys?"
That is the first thing I ever said to you.....
I think.....
But you changed my life..... one kiss...
One touch.....
But then again.... it was one look.... the very first time I saw you.
I didn't see your face, or your eyes, or your nose...
I just brushed my eyes past you and I knew...
I was going to do you.

Me and Dean went out
last night we had a great time
Drinking and dancing

But I've got a worse
hangover my head is full
of doziness fudge

Yeap it's melted like
snowdrops fallen to earth on
a cold winters day

But i managed to
somehow cook a roast dinner
how I just don't know!!

The potatoes were
soggy the veg quite hard , but
the gravy was tasty

We danced and danced all
night long to pretty voices
from super cool songs

My feet began to
ache o no I'm growing old
by every second

Brandy and coke filled
my shiny glass than went to
my brain and smiled wide

Goggle slurp goggle
O what a noisy drink , slurp
slip gulp gulp goggle

Dean drank lots of beer
and so did our sons there sweet
laughter filed the air

Everytime trouble
went down as there was two fights
Dean alerted bouncers

Too many drink to
much than want to start fights , o
what silly pickles

But Dean made sure we
had best night my hero my
man my best friend too

At 3 o clock this
morn we went to macdonalds
and stuffed our faces

I had cheese burger
and chips and Diet Coke , Dean
had quarter pounder

The wind was chilly
And we walked from Saturday
to Sunday in shoes

It's been a lazy
day my house is quite messy
but the air is kind

Me and dean had a
great time last night , so bottoms
up to a new week

First world recitals
oscillating first world minds
with oh so dainty first world problems
comic strips entertainers in grand autos pixels
the satiated famished building reality with Lego bricks
looking for pep-ups in shake-downs and power in cornflakes
the puff dragon armies sails on the good ship Boaty Mcboatface
the legless revolution is afoot remember to all bring your sunscreen

First world flaccid raconteurs
expendable variants from the Hall of gainful prosperity
the Gospel choirs singers of the malignant tumors in Capitalism
with sharp blazing french loaves readied by the odeon Deimos God
now on war-path First World Calveries in nappies n the Morning Star
in solidarity blighters will tussle and scream war cry in MacDonalds
utilizing advanced war techs like back stabbings and long range lies
the esteemed War correspondent produces reports of unrequited love

First world problems
disenchanted, bored vanguards seeking lost identities
ignominious raggle-taggles and sea-less shipless amoebic pirates
mama's simple Simons, Leningrad's finest fronting the lines of battle
our Wigan warriors without skulls and contents never mind a scrum
from basements, chairs, pubs and PCs this war for Stalingrad rages
An Alpha male from the third world who walks the walk looks on
The Theatre Royal Haymarket could'nt do a better farce than this
First World Problems by the people for the people and Prime fools

Oh,
that rotating salad wheel which we thought was cool,
but
as my Sister in Law says,
if it ain't looked over a gate
it
won't be going on the plate,

common sense
unless you're vegan or veggie,

in my day
which was back then and a long way away
you ate what you got and it was enough
though, as I recall it wasn't a lot,
we never had macdonalds and no  kfc's
no blinkin' Indians and no Chinese,
it were wholesome and never did us no harm,
long live the livestock
and
long live the farm.

you can unfollow me now.

Black Magi you've leant a kiss
Failing and harrowing is the excuses stashed
Bravery then compels beasts and the society into... trying...

That reformation of the tradition, even, the ATF itself - lay, in fact, forty years from the effort
& sassy so much of denial, in a Chevrolet, a hallow sausage,
lies made made popular by MacDonalds?

Now maybe we see...

Chaos forms order,& splinters of governments- cast & mock
an eternal war

Yet the 2nd disgrace buttress  then  3 licks of the fallible, maybe become 1 are  scaring the youth into impression of priests,
and the visions of one place sufferance to suffocate into puppets of one

Magic, magic universal, sweeking into a swoop or a perceiving of justice with each beef as small time pretties and big time scales, adjusts each cream cheese sandwich every week into existence conclusions forgone

But if you had to sway and bemoan endless dying flailing arms trying to gesticulate the savior, the demons, and the masses imemmelteph sausage paffys to be...

Then hopes for the future is as simple as that
which is part of you and me!

I have never eaten at or from
McDonalds so that gives me
the right to say nothing good
about it.           Ryan O’Leary.

             Comments.

What age is this Ryan O’Leary?

Does he know what he's missin?

Bet he’s been in prison all his
miserable life!!

Sounds Irish, perhaps there
are no Mc’s over there!

Mc, is Irish you dumb ****!

Sometimes they use Mac in
Ireland, it might be MacDonalds?

Over there they call it MickDonalds.

It could be that he is illiterate!

He might have no teeth and drinks
soup all the time.

Bet he’s one of them funny Catholics
who eats fish on Fry Day.

You're ****** bag man, Friday is
not spelt with a pan of hot fat, ****.

He might have been born premature
and is on intravenous all his life!

Bet he's a Paddyphile and is under
house arrest for life not allowed out.

You ******* it is not spelt like that
it is Pedifile.

He might be in Australia with Kelly
bucket on his head, can’t eat Big Mac's.

Having fun with my granny and nanny
It is a lot of fun
Going to the circus
Talking while watching television
Trying to get her off the phone so you could watch Mickey Mouse club
Playing tv shows in the back yard
Hoping dogs don’t come and interupped them playing cricket on the cricket pitch and watching hockey and cricket from their house
Going to the local show
Getting showbags
Going on rides
Going to the movies
Watching movies at home on ****** vision
Catching the bus to the city to have lunch or to shop
Walking to the local supermarket
Catching the bus to Charlestown Westfield and having lunch and shop
Going to k mart
Having henny penny for lunch and dinner
Having KFC and MacDonalds for lunch and dinner
Having hamburgers for lunch and dinner
All with chips
Picking mushrooms off the green
Gotta be careful with doing that now
Cooking nice meals
Watching days of our lives and young and the restless together
Staying up on new years to see it in
HAPPY NEW YEAR
I still do that in memory
It was fun