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"judder" poems
Advice from Freuchen , the explorer When Arctic blizzards blow in Northern Greenland and your supplies are low and dwindling the best advice is build an igloo and wait out the storm. And when you hear the wolves howling with hunger and prowling on your igloo roof it’s best to go outside and sing - only occasionally though you will fight to be heard above the judder of the wind. Inside the igloo will be problematic the walls seem to close in as claustrophobic days proceed it’s not an illusion but a fact each breath freezes moisture in the walls and breath by breath they thicken spaces close around your body breathing yourself in a coffin of ice. There’s no instrument of death devised by man to so terrify as being locked in space and time each breath reminding you of that closeness to that final loss of breath and an icy Arctic death.
0
Feb 2, 2015
Feb 2, 2015 at 10:53 AM UTC
Arctic Adventure
Lazy days and choppy waves Upon a copper sea, A breezy, warming westerly Is blowing down on me. Sunlight striking wavelets Below clouds of cotton cool And seagulls hang in squadron lines Aloft from oyster pool. Road signs judder in the breeze Ripples weave amongst long grass, Mangroves bend in unison And asphalt bakes in molten glass. A parasol of brilliant blue A picnic basket brimming high With lemonade and icy beer Whilst sausages and onions fry. Two barking dogs cavort with joy Chasing hard on sandy beach, Leaping high in summer air Running, fetching, ***** to each. The lazy summer saunters in Engulfing us with solar heat, The pretty girls wear tiny shorts Which breathless boys find such a treat. Pohutukawa’s bursting forth In waves of rich and scarlet red Which juxtapose dark olive greens Of leafage midst each flower bed. A sky of brilliant powder blue With salt spray aura in the air As swimmers splash in gales of fun Hot sunlight baubles kiss their hair. Marshalg Port Waikato beach 15 November 2011 © 2011 Marshal Gebbie
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Nov 15, 2011
Nov 15, 2011 at 12:28 PM UTC
Port Waikato Beach
Sky is pitch and crystal cloud Wild figures languor on the dusty ground. Eight pairs of darken haloed eyes Strike the blue to blacken. Bring the night. And bring the work The work by voice and light Work with reddened hands And verbal glance at a Smaller place that must Be walked: a faster pace To lose the mortal race. Mellow hours decay with gracelessness That cannot be dreamed On April nights no one in the road Can be exempt. Nothing is exempt At the stroke of the hour. A step cracks in the deep In those woods with painted fronts A step that eats a flower Sending up devotions. ****** rocks the riverbed Hums a note in the still. White shoes in black line Mechanical clarity, footfalls. Frissons from foreshadowing A judder and a burial. A burial in white. It reeks of adrenaline, God's own ketamine, Is sundered somewhat by a Sunday. Sunday suit and six strong suitors Following suit to the spot No one could say. Still, the air Is too hot with electricity to suffer it. Tomorrow we can say That we all knew the night's dread Export, but for tonight we pray Our lambs are all a-bed And not a one of them Is dead. No one taught Ophelia to swim. The hateful eating orange of dawn Mocks her slow and stymied progress.
0
Feb 7, 2010
Feb 7, 2010 at 2:51 PM UTC
Walpurgis Knocked
Standing in a corner Back turn towards the light. Focused on the rhythmic judder. Not of the heart, or of the soul. For what I am feels soulless. Hands held close to my body My breath beats back onto my face I'm shut in so close To the total recess of what My life has been reduced to. Eyes slowly open and close While my head dips down again. Rises up, I stare off, and down again. Habitually poised in shame. Always in the end left with some sardonic understanding.
0
Dec 26, 2016
Dec 26, 2016 at 12:15 AM UTC
Standing in a Corner
what is this life? what is this gelatinous mess? what has been done has been done willingly or reluctantly    - I know the moments that have seen me judder the gearstick the wrong way that have seen my bones rattle with a dreadful calcium clatter my lungs like sandwich bags flimsy against my heart which throbs as some malformed peach when a white chocolate blonde goes by it reminds me of ice-cream the chilly fuzz inside my skull my nerves anesthetised gone blue gone slow    - names clamour over one another until I can’t separate the letters the worth keeping the junk mail a train spewing passengers outside I am knocked all over as a conker bruises blossoming into pools of Ribena where is the asphyxiate button? that would wipe this page clean right?    - here is what I offer passion by the bushel and while I have not fired Cupid’s bow or slurred my way through a Taylor song I can make it work I can learn to drive and stop being a moth toward the light flapping my epileptic wings till they burn    - I will scrub the soil from my skin latch onto you and be the best possible me float within your ripples swig the air as if it’s lemonade just taken from the fridge say I am not who I was before I am new I am fresh I am sparkling clean like a toddler as they wobble to make their first step
0
Jul 5, 2015
Jul 5, 2015 at 8:23 AM UTC
Making Lemonade
the sleeper... riled in slumber          her face fevered      cussed about the terrain                                      of a floral breeding   bedding patterns and the print                                         bunched in struggles in smudges                      an amateur trial with sisters makeup      primal cosmetics             make a mock                     daubed                                 ceremony for slumber dusty and museum are her dollworks         an amphitheatre audience                                  overlooming her berth     flaunting the gallery shelves                 sustained expressionist menace Roman eyes and Victorian ridicule stuffed suffering with Ugly Duckling down ****** sawdust and your sullied label they bray and they brawl          and they sluice their gull gall     a sick drizzle        over the sleepers form    from the exterior   wild wails the weather its being      drubbing   peers fragile at the windowpane a raid on this vulnerable sleeper impounded in bedroom aloft raised to meet the jet stream she is fumbled in dreams...   abraded adolescent swells judder out figments   a bleed of vandals      siling her muted childhood        parading the playground           berating old          once loved playthings        adopting no sympathy     adapting in favour       of the wild riding will         of the direful pre familiar into the woods... a ***** charmed breath        dressed smartly as boy stoppers her pathway        insisting a gentleman's assistance frustrates her recitations       of grandmothers doting            stern teachings          like fragile pottery             come to harm          broken into teeth the quick blood beating        this nocturnal forest      busy in heat       bonding death        to refract the hustling moon a company of wolves     fill out the clearing not a spell too soon their howls reverberate              jeering mocking their new glut sifting followers       from the raggle-taggle array of fools the foolish dreamers           rounded up amongst them she stands red dressed and nervous one hand clasping                   and sexing the other fortified a great jaw operates here an excited irresponsible mastication committed to this fairytale ...agitation in her sleep
0
Jul 6, 2021
Jul 6, 2021 at 2:11 AM UTC
Mastication (a meander)
the sleeper... riled in slumber          her face fevered      cussed about the terrain                                      of a floral breeding   bedding patterns and the print                                         bunched in struggles in smudges                      an amateur trial with sisters makeup      primal cosmetics             make a mock                     daubed                                 ceremony for slumber dusty and museum are her dollworks         an amphitheatre audience                                  overlooming her berth     flaunting the gallery shelves                 sustained expressionist menace Roman eyes and Victorian ridicule stuffed suffering with Ugly Duckling down ****** sawdust and your sullied label they bray and they brawl          and they sluice their gull gall     a sick drizzle        over the sleepers form    from the exterior   wild wails the weather its being      drubbing   peers fragile at the windowpane a raid on this vulnerable sleeper impounded in bedroom aloft raised to meet the jet stream she is fumbled in dreams...   abraded adolescent swells judder out figments   a bleed of vandals      siling her muted childhood        parading the playground           berating old          once loved playthings        adopting no sympathy     adapting in favour       of the wild riding will         of the direful pre familiar into the woods... a ***** charmed breath        dressed smartly as boy stoppers her pathway        insisting a gentleman's assistance frustrates her recitations       of grandmothers doting            stern teachings          like fragile pottery             come to harm          broken into teeth the quick blood beating        this nocturnal forest      busy in heat       bonding death        to refract the hustling moon a company of wolves     fill out the clearing not a spell too soon their howls reverberate              jeering mocking their new glut sifting followers       from the raggle-taggle array of fools the foolish dreamers           rounded up amongst them she stands red dressed and nervous one hand clasping                   and sexing the other fortified a great jaw operates here an excited irresponsible mastication committed to this fairytale ...agitation in her sleep
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81
What I'm trying to say is I want that jolt that sudden judder of something you'll give me without thinking I want to feel it throb in every bone of my body I want to be blown backwards as if kissed by lightning I’ll see you but want to see you again and again like a sunrise on a cool morning your face being the sun
0
Aug 6, 2016
Aug 6, 2016 at 10:50 AM UTC
Struck
I have an emotion of desperation at the moment, missing love and desiring it but at the same time rejecting it and wishing it not exist around me, a conflict within myself like a caterpillar in its cage of a cocoon. And I must get out. I feel held back by strong intangible arms that are relentlessly squeezing the life out of me. Oh, help me god. But Its roper around my neck isn’t dropping me, rather dangling me with enough life to torture me with the feeling of emptiness, a feeling of no love gained yet none to be lost in the first place. Ironically, I can’t die from the misery and can’t escape long enough for my blinks to bring me back to the hopes of an alternative reality. Every girl I pass by has a feeling of gymniphoria, but for what? I couldn’t imagine even if I wanted to, and yet it’s merely an attempt of my soul to gather the remainder of my dignity and ****** it toward my brain in a way to flaunt it enough for me to feel it sink into my brain that I am strong enough to fight the feelings and live past it so that I can thrive once again on my former levels. But I can’t get on this level like Kevin Gates, I had to work down and back up but down once more, and here I saunter godforsaken. My voice in a constant crescendo as I yell to the heavens for their attention once more. Hear my ******* pleas, hear the small voice as it raises and sends mountains into a judder as my wounded roar reaches its ****** and shouts passed heaven directly into the space inhabited by my thoughts.
0
Sep 18, 2015
Sep 18, 2015 at 11:45 AM UTC
Expression #29 (random vent)
I have an emotion of desperation at the moment, missing love and desiring it but at the same time rejecting it and wishing it not exist around me, a conflict within myself like a caterpillar in its cage of a cocoon. And I must get out. I feel held back by strong intangible arms that are relentlessly squeezing the life out of me. Oh, help me god. But Its roper around my neck isn’t dropping me, rather dangling me with enough life to torture me with the feeling of emptiness, a feeling of no love gained yet none to be lost in the first place. Ironically, I can’t die from the misery and can’t escape long enough for my blinks to bring me back to the hopes of an alternative reality. Every girl I pass by has a feeling of gymniphoria, but for what? I couldn’t imagine even if I wanted to, and yet it’s merely an attempt of my soul to gather the remainder of my dignity and ****** it toward my brain in a way to flaunt it enough for me to feel it sink into my brain that I am strong enough to fight the feelings and live past it so that I can thrive once again on my former levels. But I can’t get on this level like Kevin Gates, I had to work down and back up but down once more, and here I saunter godforsaken. My voice in a constant crescendo as I yell to the heavens for their attention once more. Hear my ******* pleas, hear the small voice as it raises and sends mountains into a judder as my wounded roar reaches its ****** and shouts passed heaven directly into the space inhabited by my thoughts.
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5
There once was a tiny dragon, No larger than the palm of my hand. She burned no village, stole no princess, Her name not spoken in fear throughout the land. She hoarded not gold, not jewels, Cared not for such frivolous things. It was memories she kept in her miniscule cave She guarded with flickering fire and scrap wings. I went to her cave in the mountains. Stumbled on it, by mistake; As I lay down my head at the roots of a tree, By an obscure and secluded lake. She emerged in her miniature splendour, From beneath a nearby rock. She let out a yawn of fire; And I froze: in awe, in shock. She grinned a needlepoint grin, Beckoned with one curved claw Into her miniscule cave, I followed: in shock, in awe. I peered through the half-hidden opening, Only inches larger than my head. The dragon spoke soft but thunderous, And this is what was said: “This is my hoard, young human. This is all I hold dear in the world.” And she handed to me a birthday card - Some edges singed, some curled. It had writing in a swirling foreign script That seemed to be etched, not written. “This is the love of my first ever crush, In the days when we were still smitten.” “Is this all?” I scoffed, “Just pieces of paper, and wrappers and old useless things?” Her doll-sized body began to shudder With a judder of claws and a flutter of wings. No larger than my littlest finger, She was a smaller version of herself; But still I froze as she perched on my nose, To her, a sizeable shelf. “You hold no value to memories? Then why don’t you leave yours behind? Since they strike you as being so useless, I’m certain you wouldn’t mind.” Now all my memories are scraps, Shadows of what they once were. I wonder if she kept them somewhere, In that diminutive cave with her. Notes from a wife I think I had: About the shopping, the kids? The car? A card from my parents, a gift from a friend, A reason for this faint lip scar. I try to keep letters, tickets, receipts, Compulsively, I feel I must. But whenever I reach for that link to my past, It is nothing but ash, but dust.
0
Sep 19, 2019
Sep 19, 2019 at 4:37 PM UTC
Permanence
There once was a tiny dragon, No larger than the palm of my hand. She burned no village, stole no princess, Her name not spoken in fear throughout the land. She hoarded not gold, not jewels, Cared not for such frivolous things. It was memories she kept in her miniscule cave She guarded with flickering fire and scrap wings. I went to her cave in the mountains. Stumbled on it, by mistake; As I lay down my head at the roots of a tree, By an obscure and secluded lake. She emerged in her miniature splendour, From beneath a nearby rock. She let out a yawn of fire; And I froze: in awe, in shock. She grinned a needlepoint grin, Beckoned with one curved claw Into her miniscule cave, I followed: in shock, in awe. I peered through the half-hidden opening, Only inches larger than my head. The dragon spoke soft but thunderous, And this is what was said: “This is my hoard, young human. This is all I hold dear in the world.” And she handed to me a birthday card - Some edges singed, some curled. It had writing in a swirling foreign script That seemed to be etched, not written. “This is the love of my first ever crush, In the days when we were still smitten.” “Is this all?” I scoffed, “Just pieces of paper, and wrappers and old useless things?” Her doll-sized body began to shudder With a judder of claws and a flutter of wings. No larger than my littlest finger, She was a smaller version of herself; But still I froze as she perched on my nose, To her, a sizeable shelf. “You hold no value to memories? Then why don’t you leave yours behind? Since they strike you as being so useless, I’m certain you wouldn’t mind.” Now all my memories are scraps, Shadows of what they once were. I wonder if she kept them somewhere, In that diminutive cave with her. Notes from a wife I think I had: About the shopping, the kids? The car? A card from my parents, a gift from a friend, A reason for this faint lip scar. I try to keep letters, tickets, receipts, Compulsively, I feel I must. But whenever I reach for that link to my past, It is nothing but ash, but dust.
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56
I know what its like to have your heart heave, wrack, and judder with its broken dreams and I know what its like to sing, dance, and be free as a bird But mostly I know what its like to be unthankful for days where hardly nothing happens at all.
0
Feb 4, 2016
Feb 4, 2016 at 8:34 AM UTC
ordinary days
You know, something always bugged me about love. I always assumed it was having someone there for you, someone for you to care for and someone to care for you. A star in a dark sky to show you the direction you were going, the moon on your back lighting the way to somewhere warmer. It was always an ember to me, something small but bright, how it tricked your eye into being mesmerised by it, how it danced on invisible winds and flowed like the air was water. Sometimes it would happen little by little and other times all at once, and when it was gone, it would make you beg for more, have you scraping at the burning log to make more little embers. I suppose there’s a beauty in that somehow, the subtlety of movement, a staccato as a new breeze entered the ember’s airspace, and how that little ember would judder in the air but still it would burn. But years go by as they so often do, without warning or permission, and you inevitably see things differently from a more mature viewpoint. You have so much more to look back on, so much more to comprehend, how everything you’ve ever done up to this point all fits together. I don’t see love as one of those spritely little embers anymore, love to me is so much more, a force of magic that binds souls together, the universe, once thought so unforgiving, actually there to support you, to guide you through the twilit marsh of existence, to heal the hurt. I have experienced that magic firsthand, and I know it happens to everyone, but so often we either look the other way or we can’t fathom what we see, until it’s too late that is, when memories become cloudy with age, when all that you had ever hoped to come true has been replaced by nothing, but that too is magic, my friends, because magic knows nothing of time, it transcends the very fabric of the universe that binds us. Magic flows through the connections, seeps through the cracks, and that is where love resides, not in the intimacy of no distance, not in the warm embrace of someone who takes you for granted. It’s in the very fibre of your being, you are composed of love, of magic and the beautiful light show on display every waking moment. Dance to the rhythm the universe provides, you are its melody.
0
Nov 21, 2017
Nov 21, 2017 at 11:37 AM UTC
Impressions of an Awakening
You know, something always bugged me about love. I always assumed it was having someone there for you, someone for you to care for and someone to care for you. A star in a dark sky to show you the direction you were going, the moon on your back lighting the way to somewhere warmer. It was always an ember to me, something small but bright, how it tricked your eye into being mesmerised by it, how it danced on invisible winds and flowed like the air was water. Sometimes it would happen little by little and other times all at once, and when it was gone, it would make you beg for more, have you scraping at the burning log to make more little embers. I suppose there’s a beauty in that somehow, the subtlety of movement, a staccato as a new breeze entered the ember’s airspace, and how that little ember would judder in the air but still it would burn. But years go by as they so often do, without warning or permission, and you inevitably see things differently from a more mature viewpoint. You have so much more to look back on, so much more to comprehend, how everything you’ve ever done up to this point all fits together. I don’t see love as one of those spritely little embers anymore, love to me is so much more, a force of magic that binds souls together, the universe, once thought so unforgiving, actually there to support you, to guide you through the twilit marsh of existence, to heal the hurt. I have experienced that magic firsthand, and I know it happens to everyone, but so often we either look the other way or we can’t fathom what we see, until it’s too late that is, when memories become cloudy with age, when all that you had ever hoped to come true has been replaced by nothing, but that too is magic, my friends, because magic knows nothing of time, it transcends the very fabric of the universe that binds us. Magic flows through the connections, seeps through the cracks, and that is where love resides, not in the intimacy of no distance, not in the warm embrace of someone who takes you for granted. It’s in the very fibre of your being, you are composed of love, of magic and the beautiful light show on display every waking moment. Dance to the rhythm the universe provides, you are its melody.
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34
Cures for a broken heart are painful - its all in the letting go Sometimes bit by bit - and at others in full flood Your heart can heave, wrack, and judder - with its broken dreams.
0
Dec 13, 2015
Dec 13, 2015 at 11:15 AM UTC
Bleeding Tears