this door exists,
stately and staunchly it stands,
disheartening and terrifying it remains.
the door is unlocked, yet cannot be opened,
for in it, a path in time...
one decision that can affect everything
[such as my choice to wear the necklace you adore,
which lead to you noticing me for the very first time,
or my idea to play you the song that you fell in love with,
which i can no longer listen to]
...for in this door, one path
is intimidatingly located.

every bone in my body,
every last muscle, tendon, ligament
each artery, each vein, each capillary
every single nerve,
even each microscopic cell,
implores me not to open this tempting door...

[it is almost as if my hand refuses to grasp the handle,
to unleash the unknown upon me,
the colossal chain of events that would ensue]

the immensity of the unfamiliar,
the unexplored,
tends to perturb me.
change is unnerving
and is almost as chilling
as an abandoned graveyard at midnight.

but i bring my mind back to the door,
yes! this preposterous door that i have contrived for myself.
why is the **** so easily turned?
why does it not put up somewhat of a fight,
at least jolt me suddenly,
as to frighten my curious heart?
it is a constant battle between my body
my mind
and my heart
as to which doors to open
and which ones to leave ever so steadfastly closed.
but never once has there been such a struggle
for them to reach an understanding.

somehow my heart,
[even though a fraction of me,
a fist, dripping in blood]
is prevailing for the moment.
my heart reaches for the handle,
attempts to unclose the door...
yet, with the best of its ability,
withstanding my strong-willed
and obstinate heart,
my powerful body and commanding mind
overcome this hostile takeover,
and the door remains shut.

it is my body,
my skillful mouth,
my soft, rose lips,
my elegant tongue,
and my vocal chords...
all of these pieces must
contrive the words,
conceive the change,
which will unveil the path that will forever alter us...

slowly, opening the door.

being as in love with you as i am,
i will not let you slip away from my arms right now.
but when we are not together
[i wish you’d have been there,
i needed you there]
i stare at this humbling door.

if i wait too long, i’ll forever lose you;
for it is you who will make this choice for me,
opening your own door, fearless and dauntless.

Women are born with heavy feathered wings
Hands that hide starlit craters
Celestially they spin in infinity and find each other
Stroking the softness, in awe at the wonder of the unashamed mystique
That perpetuates newly hatched faces

A world without the incessant need for reassurance
Which towers intimidatingly over the forest border
Small ordinances that keep themselves airless
No longer striving for the greater force of flight
Clipping away their feathers with garden shears, hosing down the blood

Tuscan architecture abandoned countless ages ago
Ancient in idea and aesthetic
I’ve wandered many miles to reach such exotic visions that have been dead for so long
The heads of kings lined up on the edge of a waterfall
Their bodies still holding onto the swords they clipped their wings with long ago

A little further, a river emerges and spills cold water from the azimuth of God
There was a communicator present at the time of cleansing, unbeknownst to me
To accept ones sins is to be cleansed of them, don’t you agree?
He asked this with shaking shoulders, his robes unraveling to reveal the scars on his chest
One for each pectoralis
I looked away in tragedy

I enter the wooden gate, into the Macedonian fortresses of old
My torso has been replaced with a harp, which I feel these princes pluck so sensitively
I hear the timber echo throughout my chest and vibrate in my throat
My back has merged without consent to a beast that bends backwards
The harp strings have been torn
I am now mute

Raising the weary head of the sleeping dog and the sleeping disdain
I slept in an isolated piece of land untouched by human hands
And sank into the forest floor
In which the grass and all living creatures decided I had left the physical form
My eternal resting place

Are these tears of blundering laughter
or heckles of contempt
that spirit on these haggard few
to rhapsodise our era’s curtain calls?
They who brought us mounting debt and conscientiousness
which seems only to be healed in the appeasing fluorescence
of 24-hour supermarkets and the purgatory
of weekends spent at home?

Such stifling, nervous coughs
are head as responses of
today’s domestic questionnaires
Gung-** reformative advances
and calls to “pull up our socks”
Mixed with the state-sponsored fortune-telling
Rationed out to boys languishing on the dole.
Which All falsely transpires,
intimidatingly revealed as being
About as appealing as vacuum cleaners for the soul
aimed at the resolutely bored to tears.

Despite our fears
the sun will come streaming again
through fresh fir trees
which decorate contemplative, sheltered lanes.
These last, frostbitten years
seek replacement with halcyon days
in order to suspend dogmatic disbelief.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves:
Pessimism is ****.
Even in the most roaring of times
we remained despondent and calculated.

Intimidatingly alluring, that is what you are.
I cannot keep my awkwardness from stirring,
As I try to be smooth whilist my thoughts are still churning.
I keep messing up the words, from my mouth that come out.

You're even more fine, than the best dwarven stout,
With an essence of strength, though you keep yourself at length.
Even without a stash of memories, of you, in my mind;
Thoughts of you still cross, I find.
This is but a simple note to entwine your mind with rhyme,
I find you sublime, and I think you're divine.

Super moon lunar eclipse
Signaling forth the totem travel,
5th dimensional spaceship delivering our tribe
As Spirit guides allow Ancient Future dreams to unravel.

Ebonized Crow,
Calling me to dance in the wind,
Yet Spider yearns for me
to spin a web within.

Black panther,
Tying knots in my stomach,
Yet bat reminds me
We are never too high to plummet.

Crashing down
Like waves of my sea,
The Eagle swoops intimidatingly close
To get a good look at me!

I feel twisted, I am flying...
Have I lost my wings?
Is this my dying?

Total Alignment,
In 2015 A.D.
All of these Spirits tugging,
How can I just BE?

I breathe heavily - the Bat taking shape,
She is so beautiful and quick!
I resonate with her darkness,
Wearing that gorgeous skeletal cape.

I, too, hang upside down,
In a cave where patterns are crowned.

I, too, run wild like the wolves!
I can feel all of their Spirits
We are all beating to the same drum.

Elephant’s stomping, snake’s hissing,
The purr of the sacred cat,
All of a sudden, it’s as though no one is missing.

Yes, we are formed together,
We bend and break.

This Ancient Future realization
Will help shift this energy, for all of Creation’s sake!

We are the drum, the bass, the serpent.
I am a cat, a lizard, and it has been molded within my purpose.

Buffalo trots are similar to rotted crops,
Heaven can be Hell.
Lightness can lead to darkness,
Unless you unshackle yourself from this Spell!

Rain drops of quartz and selenite,
Amethyst-Shaded Moon.
Blood like fire, and Fire as Sun!
All of the Totem, present to Swoon!

Let’s dance on the Mother
Barefoot and naked,
Let us chime for the Grandmothers and Grandfathers!
Self-limiting beliefs and grief,
We shall not even bother!

It’s the Super Moon
Total Lunar Eclipse!
Ascension of the Spirit,
Fasten your Integrity
For this TRIP!

The first time I saw you, was the birth of the goosebumps my skin raises today
I have never known a moment like when it hit me, I would take lessons to speak your heart language.
This world is not meant for the weak, but I’m meant for the times my knees lose strength around you.
When I call you at night, you tell me about work, about your workmates.
I have never been to your workplace but I picture how you sit, where you sit,
and sometimes, the shoe you’re wearing.
I have been struggling to know exactly how you feel about me.
I want to know you inside out,
know where you hang your clothes so I can see the labels you hide on you.
I know you go to church on Saturdays
but are you a front row or back row kinda girl?
When no one is watching,
do you secretly dance in the kitchen?
And have you ever been with a boy so shy
the only way he could corner a queen is if he had a chess board in front of him
See, for many years this ship has sailed
This is the first time in a long time I’m stuck at the dock-
This captain, this ship,
this sea beneath me betrayed by your waves
I’m not moving and it only makes sense;
I have fallen for someone who lifts me.
We cropped a photo to be together and it still feels right
You asked me the difference between dating and being in a relationship
so before you ask me about love
I will tell you what my grandmother would say;
to love, is to have the courage to be kind,
there is no fairytale in a real world,
no prince charming in ponds, just frogs whose skin will make you sick to the stomach.
But if you ask me to describe you,
then I will tell you…
I think you are intimidatingly strange
and crazily stunning
any girl who asks for my heart will not appreciate that you signed your name on it
or that you found the edge of my soul, folded it into pages and filled it with your handwriting.
I have known fire to burn and I’ve known you to be a flame because it is hot in here
and if my heart is not a clown for you then how do you explain the circus in here?
But tell me about broken parts.
Tell me who to blame if you don’t feel exactly how I feel about you.
Tell me how many mechanics have worked on hearts that stopped when you said no to
and do they work anymore?
Tell me why it’s taking you too long to learn how to lay your head on my chest
or don’t you like how my heart misses beats for you
Tell me how to know I’m the one when you look at me because I feel light in my head I can let you carry me with your stare.
Tell me to wait,
and I will wait for you
I’m not saying there’s no one like you
I’m telling you today,
I will fall for you just as hard,
10 years from now.

Covered in my shining armour,
carefully hiding all the love that I harbour.
Straight back, head always held high,
never showing them how hard I try.

Don’t offer a smile, they may not smile back. 
It’s better to fake the strength that you lack.
Pushing away the dream of true love,
covering my heart like a hand in a glove.

“Resting ***** face”, “intimidatingly fierce”,
sunglasses covering all of my tears.
“You’ll be happy alone”, I tell myself,
dreams of marriage pushed back on the shelf.

But then how is it, in the end of the day,
when I lay down in bed, it’s of true love I pray.
When the armour comes off, and I’m true to my soul,
I feel something missing for me to be whole.

I stretch out my body, my muscles are sore.
Bruises and marks from the armour I wore.
Like light through a crystal, it all becomes clear,
my shining armour was created by fear.

What I thought was my helper, was always an enemy;
pushing potential soul mates far away from me.
Keeping me away from all that I wanted,
all caused by memories of which I am haunted.

“Strong independent woman”, “single by choice”,
most times I don’t even believe my own voice.
But at night without the armour, I see the true me;
my soul and my heart both rejoiced to be free.

It’s time to be brave, let them all see;
the love. the kindness. the vulnerability.
I’ll take off the armour, piece by piece, over time;
true strength comes from within, and I see this is mine.

He laughed in front of us both, it was heavenly,
for us three friends having days filled with fun.
His personality shared a feeling of complexity,
It was the first time cupid had won.

Emerald eyes scan his screen,
as we talk more anticipatingly.
I had hoped my confession would not intervene,
for his love was with another strangling me intimidatingly.

For she hoped the best but love always finds it’s way,
they had split apart, I feel I was partly to blame.
But our love felt almost like broadway,
leading to a well known nickname.

We held each other close, we were finally together,
Blue t-shirts mixed with the smell of leather.

As I pulled back the layers of mulberry
I watched the world around me slowly disappear.
I fell into a thin sheen that disolved as I reached out my hands
It was silent
Somehow eerily peaceful
Magically mysterious, intimidatingly intruiging
As I walk upon its Arabian sands I see a figure
dressed in silk and gold
the coins around her waist; rattling, scattling, chattering, scattering
she walks up to me with a swing in her rhythmic step
Her glimmering hands brush back the hair covering my face
as she brushes it behind my ear she smiles
she pulls the thick blanket of midnight over my weary eyes
And I fall out of it once again

my chest a bottomless pit, i wonder if it's worthwhile anymore.
but the grass stains on my dress make me smile shyly, thinking of your sapphire eyes so blue;
so intimidatingly beautiful, i could barely hold your gaze for more than two seconds.
yet i pushed for three and i'm glad i did; i saw the black circle in the middle invade more of your blue space and your cheeks turned a soft pink, head downturned, wavy brown hair falling across your forehead.  
a month old memory which i attempted to dull with substances
while it remains vivid and intact as though it happened just yesterday.
i fear the power you have over me; when my phone sounds my hopes rise like a tide in the storm
and comes crashing down when it's not your name.
i'd like to see you again, may i see your sapphire eyes ?