People hate being rejected
When you ask someone out in a date and they say no
Or when you go in for an interview
And look your best
You want the job so badly
And they say they'll call
But never do
You hate it

Or when you get rejected from ***
Yes ***
Guys get rejected
And it *****
But when a girl gets rejected
It's like a contraption of pain and mixed emotions going through you

You stumble
And cry and think
Did I do something wrong?
Am I not good looking enough for you?
Are you bored of me?
I don't turn you on anymore?
What's wrong with me?

Even if I'm fully naked and on top of you
You say no
Geeze isn't that what you always wanted?
Me naked
Showing off my skin
My body to you
Instead of wearing a shirt or bra
You told me before that you rather have me naked
And on you
Now that I finally did that
Nothing happens?
You lightly push me off and say I'm to tired?
Geeze all that work for nothing ?
I built up my confidence just to do that you know?

It *****
Rejection *****
And I'm here laying in bed right next to you... Naked
Some guy would be happy to lay next to a girl naked
They would caress my body and ****** me
They would have the best time of there life
But all I want is you
Just you
Making sweet love to me

What does a girl have to do to get some satisfaction around here ??
Honestly...

forget
seems to be the only thing
we want
to do

but you see
why would I want to forget
all of the times
that I smiled
and you laughed
and I sang
and you slept
and I cried
and you kissed
and I ran
and you chased
and I fell
and you caught
and we danced
and we loved
and we grew
together.

because despite my biggest of efforts
I can not forget
the most beautiful of flowers.

Cancel Haloween, I'm not the monster here
Fall's my favorite season, but hell October's doggie days for me
Stagnant rivers, and pockets full of leaves
I try to run a little faster just to escape these things catching up to me
Big furrys and little monsters at my knees

Oh, geeze-la-weeze
I need to feed on something sweet
So give me your neck girl,
I need your flesh, give me your blood, your best
Give me your glitter, your neon *******
Oh, get me the hell out of this monsters nest

Adrenaline pumped into me, I feel every blood platelet intimately rushing through me.
Radioactively synthesized, authenticity arise
Don't wait on me babe, I'm just trying to synchronize

Worry about me, and I'll let the tension build
Till I get the attention fill I need, babe.
Raid my mind with all your battleships and heavy war machines
Break me down until you find something worth keeping

I've bartered the black market selling love for lust, and my dreams for less
I barter for pleasures, but I always want more
I've lived a shallow life, assured
I've become a monster, and a *****, all while trying something new
That I was told was a cure
Now I follow with the bewildered beasts boohoo
Now I follow with the bewildered beasts boohoo

Stop rocking my boat.
Stop shaking me like a salt shaker
Because I am not salt, nor am I in salt water.
Oh bother, Oh geeze, Oh man.
Understand your limits, know your course
Because you are crossing every line.
You are not the cone to my pine.
You are in my space. Placements, statements
So insincere, my dear.

I saw a pretty woman
Walkin' up my street

Tight yoga pants
So ****

I look but haven't been intimate
With a woman for 7 years

Women are so beautiful
I saw a gorgeous Zumba instructor

Last night at the gym
Her smile and her body
Man oh man
Geeze

Better not to look
At such beautiful women

They walk in and out of my life
Lol

You know I ate too much
I should have stopped with my two sausages and beans
Then I had the shortcake and milk
And peanutbutter

Geeze---
I guess I was trying to fill something
The loneliness, the emptiness

I just got a full stomach instead and I'm still alone

I changed my clothes brush my hair
Put on my make up to change my face
Play the part, play the role, it s not like they'll ever know

Pretend to be what they want you to be.
Please don’t look to close you might see the real me.
Is it really that hard. To like this face..

Now now don’t talk like that stay in your place
Do what is asked so nicely of you
Don’t say no, or they might not like you

GOD knows my struggle my pain is real
Oh come on how bad can it be, just deal
You don’t know my pain; is mine, not yours

Its not as easy or plain as you think
But when you are constantly told ..
Nevermind, just go on just blink, just breathe

The sun will come out tomorrow
Hold on pain ends
No one knows…no no now wait yes they do

Random words not much meaning
Unless you know how much it helps cleaning
When you can only make it go away when you
Wash, clean, wipe, scrub, wash, clean, wipe scrub, wash clean wipe scrub

Some may know not all do tho.
It’s a battle we fight on a daily.
Its not much to some but to us is crazy.

Now the flipside. No its not that
I like your face, but it looks nice with something
A touch of makeup …don’t cry about it geeze
It aint like im asking you to lose weight

Is it really that big a deal to do what is small in their mind
Even tho it’s a mountain in mine..
Try to help them see, make them understand

Yeah good luck there. You wont see them try ..
Wait wait hold on there  you know **** well
Its trying for them too. So why you go all off
I don’t know cause it makes me feel crazy inside
When my outside isnt good enough…
And I don’t wanna make it be attractable to anyone
For your reason or whatever I don’t want people to look at me
I don’t want them to see me I want to be and stay just invisible….
Just outta sight invisible. So no one might
Take a look at the damage and the scars
They are deep, they are not gone. They stay always

Don’t dwell move on don’t think, don’t breathe.
Just be still do the devils will
Bend fold break do what they drill in to you
Just blink, just breathe nothing else.
They might just see what all hiding behind your walls…

When JESUS COMES TO call those who suffer for HIS name
You will wish you were one of us by and by.
Thank you LORD
For your grace
Your love
Your mercy
Your help
Your strength
You are my all with out YOU I am nothing.

50 poems each different in a way.
Geeze I never thought I was this cray.
A shade of me here.
Facing my fear.
My 50th poem a limerick here to stay.

I just watched Edge of Tomorrow
Fun Movie

I'ts the human race
That threatens to destroy each other
And our planet

We don't need aliens for that
The human race is primitive enough

I suppose I'll go to the gym now
Go do sit-ups or something
Go on the bike

More lonely hours
Geeze

Must practice Wu-Wei
Non striving
It's all an automatic process
The earth keeps spinning round and round the sun
Regardless of How I feel

This nation is in deep ****
Up **** creek without a paddle
This global economy is in deep ****
Seriously
Something big is coming
Something hard and terrible

This little Toshiba netbook
Is having some problems functioning

I always took good care of it
I think it's four years old by now

I thought I would be able to afford a regular computer by now
At least I had a few interviews

Still no luck
Oh well

If the powers that be
Won't hire me
Then ***** it

I have a B.A. Plus 16 months for the credential
I still live here at home

I will have lived here 17 years this upcoming October
Looks like it will be another year or so
Before I finally move out
I'm not really sure?

Geeze I'm a living saint for goodness sakes
A ****** and never been drunk too

I sit in my room watching history documentaries
And reading philosophy too

I don't expect to fall in love
I just want to make a small salary
Enough to have my own small apartment

I wish I had some more good friends
Hmm well I guess I'll go chip golf ***** now
And listen to the golden sayings of Epictetus

You have to love yourself
You have to believe in yourself
Because everything is so hard

And so I was off

First to a driving range
Near my house
To hit ***** and warm up

After a 45 min drive
I found myself
At a scenic par three course

I got a push cart
It's easier than having to
Carry my bag

I found myself amongst geese
And the shade of trees
Some lovely water on the course

And fun to practice
And hit a few practice shots
On each hole

Three 8 irons
On the third hole
All hit about the same distance
2 on the green
One pushed a bit to the right

Geese on the ninth hole
Walking about

And I practice chipping later
And had an iced tea

(I was going to get something to eat
But the snack bar had closed at about 5)

(It's hard to mention food now,
That chipotle burrito was a bit much!)

I really did forget how heavy those can be
Especially because it was extra steak with chicken
Beans, rice, and veggies.

Lol, too much in one sitting for me
But It's okay
I'll run a few miles
Like I do every other day

(When this food digests, or should I say if?)
Lol

And no this is not much of a poem
I realize

Just a plain statement of events

You know I gave the woman working
At the bar a dollar tip
On a three dollar iced tea

Let's not forget our fellow human beings

That Chipotle really was too big, lol

And you know I find human life
Strange

Just go here
And go there
Here and there

And there is only the present
Here and now
Here and now

The present is powerful

And I tried to take in all the colors
The colors of the shirts
And the bags

As many as I love
I rebuke and chasten
Be zealous therefore and repent

(Book of Revelation playing in the background)

My Kenmore fan
Is at work

And I think I will watch Fawlty Towers

And I should have had
About half of what I had

I was going to have just chicken
But the guy in front ordered chicken
And steak

And I told the guy
Serving the food
I would have the same
As the guy in front of me

And he said, "of course"
He seemed a bit easily
Perturbed

I think that woman who
Was complaining a bit
About not enough meat
On her taco for her kid

Might have annoyed him some
That's understandable

I think he said "of course"
Because he was out of steak
And would have to have them cook
Some more

And then my burrito
Went down the assembly line
That nice lady added salsa

And then the other guy
I talked to before added
The steak

I can't remember if it was before the salsa
Yes, I think it was, lol

And it was quite strange
Because I said just the burrito

And the guy asked me if
I would like a water cup

And of course I said yes
I always ask for a water cup
At places like that

I try to be like water
It nourishes all things
And does not strive

And so I found it fitting
That he asked me for a water cup

Because I had been listening
To the Tao Te Ching many times today

And lo there was a great earthquake
And the sun became black as sack cloth of hair

(Book of Revelation playing in my headphones)


And then I saw the guy
Screaming
And red faced

Walking parallel to me
Such bad form

And his eyes were filled with
I don't know what
Hate or anguish

And twenty minutes before that
You know I heard the frustrated mom
Nagging at the children

And after seeing these people I thought
Chill just chill
Can't you just take a deep breath and relax?

Please people
Be at peace
Be content and at peace
It is good


Sir, though knobbiest
And he said to me,

"These are they which came out of great tribulation
And have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the lamb."

(Book of Revelation playing in headphones)


Oh and then, and then
Life is a long list of
And thens, lol

I went on a walk near the golf course
Near my house
And I looked up

And the labs on the property
Near the course
Were barking

And I said,
"Peace be unto you"

And then the bird flew right
Across my view
Right in front of the moon
So fast

Whoosh!
About 20 yards in front of me
And it was gone

And I realize how much of my life
Is spent isolated
And alone

And human life isn't supposed to be
Like that

It's not normal
In other societies
There is more solidarity

Well maybe one day
Geeze

Hello to everyone here

Look how elegant it looks
No one can touch it
For it is protected by a thousand chambers
It is about to hatch and give birth to a "diamond"
The Whole nation awaits to see it hatch
It is born to shine the " diamond" that is inside a "Golden egg"

Why some of the things that happen, happen?
Who thought a "Golden egg " would grow a "diamond" inside
Predators Barred only development awaits
Look at that geeze brush dust from the " Golden egg "

Circumstances faced by the "Golden egg"
I guess they were great like the great Niagara falls
False mimic actions from predators couldn't penetrate the thousand chambers  surrounding It
Still the nation awaits to see it hatch and watch taboo

I changed my clothes brush my hair
Put on my make up to change my face
Play the part, play the role, it s not like they'll ever know

Pretend to be what they want you to be.
Please don’t look to close you might see the real me.
Is it really that hard. To like this face..

Now now don’t talk like that stay in your place
Do what is asked so nicely of you
Don’t say no, or they might not like you

GOD knows my struggle my pain is real
Oh come on how bad can it be, just deal
You don’t know my pain; is mine, not yours

Its not as easy or plain as you think
But when you are constantly told ..
Nevermind, just go on just blink, just breathe

The sun will come out tomorrow
Hold on pain ends
No one knows…no no now wait yes they do

Random words not much meaning
Unless you know how much it helps cleaning
When you can only make it go away when you
Wash, clean, wipe, scrub, wash, clean, wipe scrub, wash clean wipe scrub

Some may know not all do tho.
It’s a battle we fight on a daily.
Its not much to some but to us is crazy.

Now the flipside. No its not that
I like your face, but it looks nice with something
A touch of makeup …don’t cry about it geeze
It aint like im asking you to lose weight

Is it really that big a deal to do what is small in their mind
Even tho it’s a mountain in mine..
Try to help them see, make them understand

Yeah good luck there. You wont see them try ..
Wait wait hold on there  you know **** well
Its trying for them too. So why you go all off
I don’t know cause it makes me feel crazy inside
When my outside isnt good enough…
And I don’t wanna make it be attractable to anyone
For your reason or whatever I don’t want people to look at me
I don’t want them to see me I want to be and stay just invisible….
Just outta sight invisible. So no one might
Take a look at the damage and the scars
They are deep, they are not gone. They stay always

Don’t dwell move on don’t think, don’t breathe.
Just be still do the devils will
Bend fold break do what they drill in to you
Just blink, just breathe nothing else.
They might just see what all hiding behind your walls…

When JESUS COMES TO call those who suffer for HIS name
You will wish you were one of us by and by.
Thank you LORD
For your grace
Your love
Your mercy
Your help
Your strength
You are my all with out YOU I am nothing.

Oh yes
I'm being isolated again
Yep

It's happening again
Another Friday night alone, lol

I went on a hike with someone this week

Eating this apple
Somebody tell me
Why did we get these barky dachsunds?
They just bark and bark
No quiet in my home
Geeze

Lol laughing at life
They are still barking

why cant you understand
cant you see the shake in my hand
just leave and let me be ******
mentally I'm broken
physically I'm unspoken
this is hard to handle
I promise its no scandal
seas turn black where skys end
keys turn back the lies mend
all in all its a waste of time
just let me silent a mime
sew me up and tie me down
show me abrupt and cry for me drown
let your tears fall but don't be a weeze
let my fears call it won't be oh geeze
its scary everyday
its scary everyway
just want ot turn back the time
**** it all pause this for a dime
I know that I'm sick
skins just too thick
she left me now still a falsetto
I wish this feeling was just a placebo
paused the write to rethink the act
caused the fight to unsink the cracked
ship wrecked no anchor
hip checked no banker
just falling down
down
down
down
starting to drown
drown
drown
drown