I told you this would last forever
But I lied
I said things will never change
But I lied
I told you you were beatiful, even though I can't explain beauty
So I lied
I told you Red was a beatiful color
but who and what describes beauty?
For they say the beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder
I say it's mostly directly proportional to how you feel about a person
Excuse my mathematical jargon because I'm no Mathematician
Don't they say in the Bible that King Solom wore Purple, the color of beauty, the color of wisdom
But who am I to tell it different so, I lied
I said your skin was as smooth as silk and as beautiful as vanilla but, was it?  Was it really? I know I couldn't tell the truth so, I lied

I told you your eyes are beatiful, your eyes are big, twinkly
Maybe I lied, it was just your pupil dialating when it saw my light
I told you I could give you the world,
But the world was not mine to give to begin with, but baby its what you wanted so, I lied
I also told you the sky was green, the sea was blue, and you believed every word, I'm sorry

Maybe I lie a bit too much, or maybe just enough, or maybe that's also a lie
It's mostly to protect you

Remeber that day at the park?
I held you in my arms
The world didn't seeze to exist but us
We swore to be together for life, was it a lie
You said you're mine forever and I'm yours too, or was it also a lie?
Can't keep with the lies no more

It's lie after lie because that's all what you seem to believe
Because truth to you, seems too good to be true
I remember the day you held my hand, looked me in the eye and said, "do you still love me? "
I know I used to answer that everyday with no doubt in my mind, but that day,
The answer remained the same,
As I said proudly, "I still do babe"
Guess what?...

The dandelions grow,
They blow with the wind.  

Spread across the thin grass,
With little green, and many grains of brown sand.

Later the seeds grow into more weeds.  If unattended they will ruin your deeds.

My Bella, My Bella

I've been through hell and back lately.  
I thought it'd be easy.
To leave,
I was deceived.

What more is there,
I glare and I glare.
Stare.
My eyes filled with flare.
Eye contact blind, inexistant.
Afraid of the consequences when
Its known it was all a lie.

The weeds spread.
As my negativity ascends,
The surface of my soul rots.
Impossibilities run through the mind.
Dreams of you and me,
Waking up,
Feelings furthest from relieved.
Heart hidden underneath my sleeves,
I've lost it.  
Abandoned, left to freeze.

Smiles grow painful.
Photographs record shameful agony. 

The liquid of your cheeks,
Unseen, unfelt.
Your happiness brings forth wander,
Yet it is not the place for thieves
To ponder of their lives refrained from stealing.

Your rose stolen,
Put in a vase filled with poison,
From red to white,
Pale in sight.
Expressions of sorrow despite
The sunlight,
Not a single lady bug would take
Flight and land even on its very might.
Who would blame it.  

The endless nights have
Turned into short term darkness,
For those who dream their
Nightmares while laying awake.

Only to see the blinding sunlight rise,
So close to their dialating pupils
And puffy cheek bones,
Enough to draw salt water from the sea.
Yet, it is
So far,
In the distance behind the mountains.
The sunlight once again escapes.

This life feels it will take
A lifetime to pass.

Confused about my confusion.
Is life so real or just an illusion.
This pain that I feel.
Can it be my imagination?
Each layer of my heart that will peel.
Like a snake it will just slither away.
Life is so short but I want an end to my days.
Im breathing, but will you please take my breath?
So I'm no longer capable of dialating my chest.
Gasp gasp ...there's s nothing left.
My lungs have lost its air.
My heart has lost its blood.
I can not stomach this.
I cant not take this.
Been here so many times lets face it.
My thoughts have now become complacent.
Running tears from my eyes.
Trying to escape my inevitable demise.
You tried to save my life.
Threw a life jacket as I drowned.
Im so sorry but I've fallen down.
Down into the darkness.
Down into emptiness.
Down into eternity.
Just hope you remember me, the best of me.
I want you to know, I love you.
But there was no saving me.

Come.. come lag with me
stuck in the never
Between death n immortality
in the lag time
A split fractal reality
Abyssal bag and a sack of
Abnormalities      
Dug deep into timelines
Paths of probability
Dug deep into forever
Chance and synchronicities    
come lag ... come lag with me
Be stuck in never forever
Lag with me
**** with me, tantric compatability
*** ....... with me
Fantasia lips salivating            
Pupils dialating
Come.. come lag with me    
Our hearts palpatating    
2 sets of 3 eyes elevating                        
Come   .... *** in unison
Lay in this bed with me
Share in ****** medicine, watch the time passin
come  ... come forever with me
Lag time is everlasting

brain shrinkage,
dialating eyes of confusion,
the molding of stress
in the pool of sobriety,
receding hairlines and
developing obesity,
the awry rationalization
of everyone's
depression in controlled economics,
the weariness in a blackhole,
sore feet,
sore body mass,
the lower backs breaking only for Moloch,
the lack of enthusiastic sense
to search for enjoyment,
for everything and anything,
one dead end leads to another,
the lights out hour
and
its deadly suffocating bed box
sadness machine;
as/while my relentless contemplation
for suicide delays,
I think I am more concerned
that with no savings at all,
the could/would-be bills for a funeral
may matter more than the death itself
but yeah,
this little enumeration
of a poem does no help
at all

but

a bottle of brandy
may help to make
it clear,
even for me.