Cassie walked up the stairs and into her new room, her new roomate sitting on the bed and writing in her journal. her long black hair in a side braid, wearing a purple flannel jacket and ripped jeans. "guess who i just met? you're not gonna believe it." cassie said, almost singing. "who?" Emily rolled her eyes. "madison montgomery, she gave me her autography and everything." cassie joyfuly explained. "madison montgomery? isn't she like some grade d lifetime movie actress or something? what is she doing here?" Emily shook her head and rolled her eyes as she doodled a picture on the notepad. "that cuts me deeply that you would say that about madison, she's my friend you know." Cassie touched her cheast, as if she had been cut by this very deeply. "okay?" Emily shook her head "she is a witch like us and is most certainly NOT  a grade d actress." cassie explained.  "i really like it here, you know? i never really had friends at my old highschool.. everyone thought i was weird or annoying." Cassie sighed. "did they?" emily replied sarcasticly. "well yea, thats why i had to get rid of all of them. " cassie sighed once again, shaking her head and staring into space. " sometimes i lay awake and i can still hear them." Emilys eyes and mouth widened as she looked up from her notebook very slowly. "what do you mean, you got rid of them?" Emily asked. "ohhh nevermind..! it's a really long story and i come out looking pretty bad in it" Cassie giggled, making emilys stomache turn.  her eyes still wide and filled with fear.

The truth I hold,  took years to unfold, locked up and never told. Now I speak for I am done being weak.. A story I will tell, awaking the pits of hell. Pinned against the wall,  being 14 years a little small..  Tounge against my cheast you can imagine the rest.  Touching, feeling, my eyes rolling to the ceiling. I push away, forced down, I am here to stay and pray. Nights always full of fright..  Kissing, *******,  non stop *******.. Crying,  weeping, always happened while they were sleeping. Was I that bad of a girlfriend? Why couldn't I speak? Tricked into the arms of a pervert…  sitting in a chair he was. Smiling by the messyness of my hair and my eyes stained by the streaming tears.. Nobody cares about you he said, cutting my wrist wishing I was dead.  He's right you see, all these years no one ever gave a **** about me. A puppet I am to him, dangling limb to limb. The years pass on by, I have no tears left to cry.  I escaped this hate, no More videos to tape..  Visits became less and less, I am staring to grow up a mess. Drinking here, smoking there, my life is hard to share, making friends with the drunkies, partying around town like diseased monkeys… every day that goes by, I feel ashamed and left to die. I tried to share my story to those that I trust, but all they wanted was my lust.  Met a boy,  come to find out I was just his toy. I wanted to help his soul,  but instead paid his toll. Being punched in the face, always leaving without a trace.. Left in harm's way, wasted with no Place to stay. Wondering the streets, giving myself to him but never pleased. Crying while we ****, gasping for air the more it struck.. Pillow in my face, cant hear me screams. It was you who ashamed me..  No respect for myself,  no medal to place on the shelf. Falling down to the dirt, clothes stained, blood stained skirt. The cold making me shiver, drinking out of the flask and damaging my liver. Why should I care about my life, here I go to carve myself with a knife..  Blood dripping down my tummy, hatred fills me like a high. All numb cant feel at all. All numb can't feel a thing, the morning doves ready to sing. I am not dead, just hanging my a thread. The ambulance speeding so fast, all I can see is a movie of my past. All stiched up & ready to go, put on your clothes you stupid ***. Here I go to this life I lead to know,  take a seat and watch the show... Dancing for their eyes to see, please god set me free. He took me home that night, my green eyes sparkled full of fright.. He was addicted to me….  Leaving me in the streets, dreaming I was frolicking in the meadows. Touched and abused I was, just so he can get a little pleasing. Breaths filled the air, the *** smell is hard to bare. Watching him smile was a sight.. The nights so dark, its all black. His eyes so plain,  pinning me like a thumbtack. The years passed on by, still living my past as a lie..  I did survive this life, I have now retired my knife. Scars still their, people stare here & their.. I am sad at times, past full of crimes, smiling to all, putting my hands out, breaking my fall.
I would like to share my voice, but its up to me to make that choice. I understand I can write.. Its my passion, But for now I express through this text. I will speak out to those only willing to listen to my story. I don't need sympathy from anyone or petty from others…  I made it to where I am and thats all that matters. Yeah I'm pretty so I've been told, but thats all i have left.. I don't need acceptance from others..  Because beauty is also found within. I don't judge, but I do sin. Being with me comes with glory & paraise but for those who think that being me is perfect and all very glad to be… think once, twice, or three times because let me tell you.. Its not so great to be me. So before you judge or cringe at my presence, understand I don't care because I am stonecold. I'm no longer here to please anyone but to thrill, and speak for what I need to say…

"what are you drawing?" Cassie asked curiously as she leaned over to try and look at Emilys notebook. emily quickly picked the notebook up and held it to her cheast. "it's private, sorry."  
"oh thats okay i understand." Cassie nodded.
"can i ask you a question emily?" Cassie questioned, a sad look in her eyes.
"yeah, sure." Emily replied nervously.
"you... don't think i'm 'weird' or 'annoying' or anything do you?" Cassie looked Emily in the eyes filling her with chills.
"oh of course not." Emily nervously lied.
"thats great." cassie grinned from ear to ear. "because i'd hate to think that, i know that my personality can be a bit much sometimes but thats just me, i'm just kinda OUT THERE." Cassie explained, her eyes wide and her hands up in the air.
"yes, you are." Emily replied, gulping.
"well, i'm going to breakfast. cya." Casssie skipped away cheerfully.
Emily took a deep breath and sighed, looking down at the picture in her notepad. it had been a picture of Cassie talking and Emily tying a noose to hang herself with.

i'm sitting in this forsaken chair
my soul heavy as if i directly feel the people who stare
i utter to myself i do not care
but in my heart i know im lieing and its not fair
i start to weaze as i cant inhail the air
i grasp my cheast clawing the pressure i seel of the weight of those who stare
i try to scream for help but no one cares
i want out
i finally exit my mind to learn that i was always the only one there

your there, i try to be invisable
i cant take it
your there smileing casue you see me
i turn around
you call out my name and laugh
i shiver and turen back around
you smile that smile again
and i walk over
your smile its inviting
i get there and you stick your knife of words in my cheast
i breath, and turn and walk away
i go to the bathroom and cry
its happeing again
i take my pencil and scrtch the surface of scars that had finaaly healed
they crack open
i take my rist band and slide it over
nobody will know
i will live in scilence

There is a girl i sit behind in a class we are asked to hone our craft of writting, producing storys and tales but in my mind poetry stiill prevails, this girl has long light brown hair that flows like silk down her soft face jeweled by her big bright brown eyes that draw me in. She speaks from her heart and can captivate any reader she gives the glorious chance to glimps upon her work. Her words could move mountains with the weight of truth she uses. Still she does not see it, sadley she does not see the gold in her soul, the angelic like perfections that make up her face beauty is not worth the essence of what you trully are, for you make the stars envious with how u shine, your eyes so amazing they are like a rainbow a child sees in the sprinklers reflection to remind every man that deep down is a boy who still thinks the world is full of wonder you give me the same feeling as christmas and just like the grinch u made my heart grow three sizes bigger then nyone thought possible to the more astonishing part you ddnt just make me fall in love with you, you showed me i can love myself even with the times i grunted n growned as u made me look after my health a good nights sleep before you meant nothing, but now with you a dreamer has a reason to sleep hopeing i can see you even a second longer in my head as storys play like projector screens thinkin of the magic it would make me feel if i could only just kiss you, Your lips softly pressing against mine. The idea brings fireworks to my mental imagery, my body becomes lifted full of energy. Like the sky that was once dark and smogy is fresh again, i take a deep breath inhailing the clean air that clenses my heavy soul. I reach my hand over my cheast realizing the heart you stole. Thinkin its safer where it is cuz my hearts a wild animal and its wrong to keep it locked up behind the cage of bone being my ribs. Memories like monkey faces and tickle fights, curved with philosophy and a cold cola dwn my neck while you laugh enough to everyone stare but we diddnt care, whats highschool without silly memories, like asking bout my feet. Or convincing me to keep my dorky hair that never seems to lay flat in the back. Picking jokes at my baggy jeans, stealing sweaters but that part always made me smile thinking something of mine kept you warm, no matter if it was dark or a snow storm know im close to you. The thought of my arms around you, sometimes we might get pulled into dark thoughts, we are tested and pulled, sometimes you might think you have nothing but know you will always have me. I care so much i will never let you forget. Till the life leaves from body and i take my last breath. You are strong, you are smart, you are beautiful. THANK YOU, You made this grumpy man smile.

Hello
My name is... Well it's not important
I have.. Problems
Anger management and addiction
I sometimes lose control of myself
I haven't had an inicident where I have
Hurt anyone physically in a while
Instead.. I use my words.. I can be quite the *******
I am slowly gaining control
It's a battle
Hopefully I get better

My other problem
Addiction
I am addicted to a girl
Some of you laugh yes
But this is a serious problem... Love
I am in love with a girl, who doesn't love anything
Not me, not herself, nothing
I make her giggle and my cheast feels like it will explode
I want to be part of her life
Her lover and friend
*** fiend and rock
I know I could be too
Oh lord give me strength
Give me words and wisdom
Knowledge
To win her heart through and through
And help her feel the world around her

On this dark and cold night there is but the sound of my love,i feel her ever breath and her curve under the crimson moon,and the vast mercury ocean lies be for us and nothing more, but alas i can not move nor can i here what she is yelling at but i see her face in panic and blood on her hands, my blood i realize and the hole in my cheast over my heart, now i lose my sight and see only the darkness closeing around me love, i now now whats happing and i cry not for the fact im dying but the fact im leaving

Your smile,
          are like the sun,
                 warn up my coldest days.

Your presence,
         are like the moon,
               shin over my darkest night.

Your lies,
          are like hell,
                 burning me inside out.

your absence,
         are like heart,
               being pull out of my cheast

you,
      are like god,
            untouchable and un reachable