​Is this your heart
Or a Polaroid?
Thick white borders hiding
The true picture inside.

Tap...tap...tap...
I can feel it on my lap.
Knock...knock...knock...
Its not just the clock.

I can hear it...
Unwanted visit...
I can feel it...
But I cannot see it...

Something's wrong,
Time takes too long.
Presence that's too strong
I don't wanna stay for long.

I didn't invite it in
It invited itself in
A spirit that is unclean
I try to keep my sanity in.

But once, I lost it
Nightmares caused by it
That triggerd me to fear it
I nearly got taken by it.

Hum...hum...hum...
Where did it even came from??
Dug...dug...dug...
Even creepier than a deadly venomous bug.

I fought it
I won from it
But it didn't stop from there
It didn't stop to scare.

"If I can't have you,
Then I shall take you!!"
Everyday I fight back
To keep my soul and sanity intact!

i have anxiety
undiagnosed.

sometimes it feels like my head is stuffed with crumpled ***** of paper: the things I never said, the things I should have never said, the things that someone never said to me.

all of these things are written on every piece of paper
there are so many right now that no more would be able to fit
yet i can't stop thinking things, i can't stop saying stupid things, i can't stop wishing things.

i sigh I reach up to my forehead and i grasp my bangs
with my shaky hands and pull

i'm hoping one day when i do this
the top of my head will yank open
all of these crumpled pieces of thoughts
will pour out in a pile
on the floor
i will kneel down
and uncrumple each and every piece
i will read each one
until my head fills up again.

If I could love
the limping
ugly
afraid
part of me
That I drag through the mud
and thorns

If I could let
the transparent
clawing
screaming
silhouette speak
Instead of kicking it
into the basement

If I could put
my deepest human essence
onto paper
for everyone to see

Then.
Then, I could be free.

this is to all the lost kids
who **** time at a pizza place
or a library
just to stay away from home

this is to all the lost kids
who plug in their earphones
to drown the noise of everyone else
to prevent them from ever hurting again

this is to all the lost kids
who pray every night
hoping that tomorrow will be a better day
knowing that it won't be

this is to all the lost kids
who result to drugs
because they think
it'll numb the pain

this is to all the kids
who wish they were someone else
who wish they had another life
because they hate who they are

this is to all the kids
because I was one of them
because I did all of these things
and I know how it feels
this is to all the kids

*a