I never understood why
girls cried over boys
until razor blades took
my best friend away
from me.
I drove around
then I bought one
of those energy drinks you hate
and every time
I thought about dying
I took a drink
but it was half empty
before I made it off my street.
So I ran until I couldn't breathe
and then I ran until
I collapsed on my knees
but I got up and somehow
I made it home and
now I'm washing
you out of my hair,
trying to find you,
are you in my veins?
Or should I carve into my lungs?
You have to be somewhere,
I can't live without you.
I think I understand now.

You choose to leave me and that's fine .

I hope I see you soon , well maybe not today , or tomorrow , or even in a year , but eventually you're going to turn up and realise the damage has been done .

It has taken me years of scratching at my skin , opening up my wounds with fresh heartache from another bitter night with another guy, you see it's not considered a one night stand , no , never, it's more of an audition but nobody ever gets a call back.  They made me half believe that for a few hours I was the one they need , but little did they know in reality we both just wanted to be held in another's arms no matter how foreign they felt.

Now all I can do is lay on my bed , fall asleep , hope that dreams of you and I never come to  mind then wake up and do nothing about it .

You killed a part of me
it only hurts less
because time
has spread it
through
my body

We are the girls who walk around with little bird bones,
rib cages ready to snap when we spread our wings and
fly away

and for my next act,
I shall disappear little by little until I am ash.

I’m not eating for four days or until
I can feel the ***** that is my stomach start to shrink

I used to refuse food for weeks
it amazes me how self-indulgent I have become

I am ready to eat spoonfuls of air
spin my hair into a models top knot and
know that water is a privilege not a right

a million screaming girls saying
“but im not hungry”
while a tiger flays their insides open at night

Kate Moss said "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"
and I suppose she is correct
What happens when you learn the tongue is a muscle not to be used

What happens when sustenance is no longer needed
When the mind decides
the very thing that keeps the body alive is a punishment

What happens when you refuse a necessity of being human

Have you ever loved someone with

bird bones
paper thin skin
irises like pooling blood on a tile floor

Have you ever loved someone who
wears their heart on their sleeve in the way of a tattoo

Have you ever loved someone like

you wish their arms had heavy locks so that
you could keep them wrapped around you
until you grew tired of their embrace

Have you ever loved someone like
dripping IV bags
ICU at 2 am

Ever loved someone like
laying on the carpet in pain
watch the shadows on their face change
see the door open and close
these days the sunlight always looks the same

Ever loved someone like
dark circles under their eyes

Ever loved someone like
you wish to wear them like a necklace
have them ******* in a locket

Ever loved someone like
I would take a bullet for you

How ironic it is
That we mutilate this earth
With the very substances
That bind it.

And how humorous we are
That we think
We can save ourselves
From us.

You probably shouldn't love me.

I will write about every detail I adore, paint you with brilliant vocabulary words that you will never hear come out of anyone's mouth, and idolize every breath you take.

I will romanticize your eyelashes and hands and the way your lips curve into a smile, slip you into every simile and metaphor, and my work will have you in every beat.

And when you inevitably crush me and let me down, (like everyone else), I will write our ending like some beautiful tragedy, and every so often, a nostalgia-inspired piece about you will arise.

So darling, darling, please. Do not bring me up just to crush me beneath my own glass dreams.