I ain’t perfect,
I ain’t ever going to be perfect.
As I try to break the curse,
I put my hope on stoicism,
until all the struggle corrodes,
and all the hurt and tear evaporates.
 
I fail, when I do–
I never shied the wisdom from failure.
I fill in the courage to wake up every day,
for a new beginning.
I get up, I get out,
I look close, and only at those,
who never balk when they hit their low.

As I challenge my norm,
I fight every minute, every second to embrace the change.
When my diffidence attempts to knock my spirit of endurance–
I turn the light of hope into a fire of spirit,
I turn the kicks of stall into the power of now,
I turn the weight of surmise into the wings of reality.
As I ascend–I reign as a queen,
A queen, who'll never be defeated by defeat.

While I worked hard,
it came easy to her,
While she was a natural at it,
I had to grind my way to it.
A thought crossed my mind,
It’s unfair,
I had no flair,
no natural gift to spare,
for it’s meant only for the gifted,
and the blessed.
Upon reconsidering,
I wasn’t impuissant,
I had the vigorous tool of all–
belief in myself,
a clear path to achieve the goal.
Although rudimentary,
still, the one to fetch happiness.
It might take longer,
it might get harder,
but certainly is doable,
for it’s not about the gift, but grit.

Through the chaos,
amongst the rummage,
with crammed up efforts,
toiling towards the certainty,
was my happiness boulevard to success.

I had it all figured,
or, so I assumed.
I wasn’t far from the complacency,
or, so I believed.
How often do things go as planned?
Yes, It was just a matter of time, until,
I was panned.

My fixed-mindset renounced failure,
I loathed my passion,
I decided for myself-“It’s not how it’s meant to be”.
Was I looking for an easy way out?
Did I interpret success as “never failing”?
Was I scorning the fact that I still had a chance?

What if I entered the growth-mindset?
Give it another shot to change things around,
pick-up from my past gaffe,
endeavour, or absorb from the failure again.

The journey might be arduous,
the goal might be too ambitious,
the path chosen might seem dubious and,
the success might never seem duteous.

Success is not the end,
neither is a failure.
If success opens the door for a new goal,
Failure instills that-
frustration is temporary, the experience is forever.

She worked hard,
ground-up,
until everyone took notice of her,
It was time to rise; it was time to shine.

she was overlooked because she is a woman,
She was suppressed when she desired to voice her opinion,
She was coerced to silence when she aspired to cut through the noise,
It was time to rise; it was time to shine.

She needed to know if she was heard,
not to be shamed.
She needed to know if she was backed,
not to be averted,
She needed to know if she was loved,
not to be shunned.
It was time to rise; it was time to shine.

As she wondered how to go up against the behemoth,
she chose to take the stride towards eminence all over again.
While they all gaped where she did come from,
She had the confidence to challenge the norms,
The poise to rise above qualm,
The power to endure and persevere,
The voice to rebuff the ignorance surrounding her,
and the hope for a better world,
It’s time to rise; It’s time to shine.

While you stand exactly where you started with envy towards me,
I work my way to be a better version of myself each day.
While you’re working hard slandering me to the rest,
I work my way to be an erudite one day.
While you’re hustling to build an army to fight me,
I work my way to be strong and powerful enough to stand-up to you alone.
While you find comfort when people trust your deception over my truth,
I work my way to better understand the world; not to trust folks more than they deserve.
While you’re buried in a plot to win a reaction from me,
I work my way to reassure myself you’re neither worth my time nor my attention.
While you’re engrossed in feeding your insecurity,
I work my way to appreciate everything and not lose my mind over things undeserving.
While you’re diligent to be me,
I work my way to convince you every single time that–
No matter how hard or long you try; you can never be me.

Here I lay, gazing at the ceiling,
doubting myself,
cringing deep within the pain & failure time has caused,
counting my pulses to break free from the torment,
shielding from the scorn towards life.

Skirmishing to sustain, tussling to see the light on the other side,
just another day, just another night,
screamed the fortitude within,
only for the qualm to ante-up the very next moment.

“I can’t think straight”, declared the mind,
“It hurts”, voiced the heart,
“We are tired”, blared the heart & mind in unison
It’s exhausting that every breath I take is burdened with tangled thoughts,
every attempt to make things better turns fraught.
Should I give up?
Should I put an end to the whole discord?
Will then everything be alright? asked the failed clout.

As the fight within grew tougher,
the tenacity to quash negativity became firmer.
As I crawl through each day to reconcile with my happiness,
my credulity to beat the beast within revived.

I know it isn’t going to be easy,
I know I don’t feel the warmth of a sound mind yet,
I know I don’t feel the shelter of a calm heart yet,
Nevertheless,
there’s a shining hope within that it’s going to be okay.
I am not alone,
I am good enough,
I am strong enough,
I am brave enough,
I am stubborn enough to not give up, not yet,
I can wait one more day, one more night,
start all over again, and again
until I can finally feel at ease to be real and not perfect.

Is this how analogous life is across the world?
devoid of food,
fear of death,
breathing underground;
shielding from doom.
While all, around the world,
relish the congenial sunshine;
they spot smoke & dust rising from the ground above,
engendering the ruckus of ravagement,
masking the sun from shining on them.
“All lives matter”?
they ask-
aren’t our lives worth the consideration?
Aren’t the massacre of our kids worth your attention?
The declension of our voice as humans,
as we scream for help with nothing but tears & blood,
a day without destruction,
a day without the loss of dear ones,
is a tad too much to ask?
Everyone deserves to be happy,
to cherish good times with their beloved,
to grin,
to bellow.
Why is there no limit to the agony,
despairs at the hands of diplomacies,
whilst justice is buried deep in the genocide,
joy in pieces,
the incognizant clamors-
humanity has condoned our own kind &
love towards innocence has turned blind.

I remember it all,
that feeling,
right from the start,
dreadful to say the least –
you call yourself a friend,
and stab with envy,
not once, not twice,
but umpteen,
A liar who calls names,
A maniac who finds peace in it,
A cheat with a thirst for attention,
A freak who hasn’t yet realized —
you own none & never will,
A nefarious who under the pretense of help
expects *******.
Don’t you see, don’t you descry–
I see it all,
the evilness behind the smirk,
the cabal behind the kind gesture,
the mask behind which you hide the whole caboodle.
Today as it slips wide in the open,
I pity you,
I loathe you as you feel superior in other’s melancholy,
my tears don’t signify my weakness,
they ratify my regret of ever knowing you.
my tears don’t imply I lost my fight to you,
they justify your ignominy in the name of friendship.
my tears don’t involve you calling names,
for they anguish staying silent,
and not unmasking you sooner.
For you presuming otherwise,
is just mocking your own morale.
As you try to get closer,
I drift further,
as you push me to the edge,
I pick taking a fall,
than stay with you up there.
I feel sorry, you don’t yet realize,
you dug your own slump,
It was time people knew the real you,
It was time I realize my reticence was worth it,
It was time when truth won over myth,
It was time you debarked to where you started,
It was time you would see, what you have done all this while,
to hurt none but yourself,
and lived nothing but a lie.

I beheld you in the distance,
that sight, descending into an alluring dream,
A dream worth evanescing from reality,
demented yet true, I was falling head over heels,
a feeling to be beside oneself with happiness.

As tenacious reality strikes-in;
with us drifting into a mellow conversation,
the respect in your words,
innocence in your voice,
honesty in your approach,
the kindness of your heart,
all had a ring to it.
As inquisitive,
You’ll never fathom the way you retailored my life.

How I wished, if I could tell you,”you’re the one”,
if I could make you mine,
if I could have you by my side for eternity,
if I could make your dreams, our dreams,
if I could hold your hand and hearten,”It’s going to be alright”,
if I could cheer you from every corner &
intrude all the way to protect you.

Now that I have all of you by my side,
without a false premise of heaven,
a world without pain,
a relationship without ebb and flow,
I promise to give you my whole,
I promise to love you through foible,
I promise to never give up on us,
I promise to persevere against all odds,
I promise to always treasure you,
for you, is all that matters.