I miss you
But do I really miss you
Or do I miss the warmth you gave off as you held me
Is it that I miss being able to call someone mine
Is it that I miss always being able to rely on someone
Maybe I do miss you though
My heart still stings a bit when I see you talking to other girls
I still check your stories when I have extra time on my hands
However, I don’t really want you anymore
You betrayed me worse than anyone else and I haven’t forgotten
I still hope that you’re doing fine though
I miss you

Being happy
It's such a weird, foreign feeling
It comes randomly
And leaves just as easily
Yet at the bottom of it
There's always a set of people that bring it
They come by and it comes along naturally
Humans are made to be social creatures
But it's still crazy to me that I've found them
Those 3 that bring me that immediate happiness
Will it last?
Who knows maybe not but I'm happy to have it
Or at least in the moment
It will be these people that seem so ordinary
That I'll remember years into the future
My source of light even in the darkest times
A source of comfort to balance the danger

Feeling sparks fly
In the dark tunnel waiting to let you out
It's happened once
And I've been waiting for it to happen again ever since
Let me finish the walk out of this tunnel
Give me one more spark
It's gone
They're gone
Let me see sparks fly once more
To get out of the ever so lonely hallway
Finding what I believe to be flint
And proving that instead it's charcoal
Crumbling away under my fingers
As I try to keep it together

I am Rain
I am unwavering
Sometimes overwhelming
I come and go as I please
I'll calm you down on dreary nights
And then I'll be gone in a glimpse
All I leave behind is a reminder
A warm rainbow to remember me by
But I am also Valya
I am struggling beyond belief
I am avoiding everyone
I cry as night comes
And I wake up with tears each morning
Yet I still smile throughout the day
I never stay in one mood
One moment I'll be as happy as can be
The next I'll be on the brink of death
Which one of these versions am I truly
Am I the one who brings joy, but leaves
Or am I the one who lives in sorrow, but pretend to be ok
Or am I both
Am I just someone who wishes to bring to others
Trying to bring them a happiness that will stay
Something I have not been able to fully achieve
Or am I something else
Because if I am what I say
Why do I hurt them by leaving
Why do I leave after I give them those memories
Why not bless them with more
Am I just afraid of ruining their day once more
I have no sense of self anymore
Only different fragments of a soul that is lost