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 Apr 2016 Urmila
Echoes Of A Mind
Stay strong
Take 10 deep breaths
And if it doesn't work
Then try with some beer...

Don't run
Even though you wan't to
Don't cry
While he's there...

Stay strong
Take a deep breath
There's only half an hour
Before he'll be here...

Don't run
It won't help after all
Don't cry
Your make-up will smear...

Stay strong
I know he's standing right there
Just look away
Imaginate him just being air...

Don't run
Don't give up now
Face it headstrong
Then cry when you get home...

Stay strong
Just hold everything in
And when you sit in the train
Just let the tears fall...

Stay still
But don't be frozen
When you get home
Cry behind your curtains...

Stay strong
Think happy thoughts
And act happy
Act like you aren't crushed...

Don't run
Face it head on
Smile and hide
That inside you cry...
My mind after 11:00 A.m. on Tuesdays and around 02:00 P.m on Thursdays....
My soul will come to you
when my time is over.
I will not have to imagine you anymore
to stay with you,
I will not have to hope
not to leave you anymore.
My soul will come to you
empty of the body
in the hold of which
my spirit has sailed
and neither voice
nor hugs
will still be needed to love you,
neither distance
nor death
will still be able to part us.
My soul will come to you
and it will bring you a kiss
as a last memory
of our great love.

20.11.'14
 Apr 2016 Urmila
Echoes Of A Mind
I miss the laughing
I miss the talking
I miss the feelings
Which you woke in me...

I miss making memories
I miss the funny episodes
I miss hearing you talk
About all the things you love...

I keep trying to fool myself
That the one I miss
It isn't you
But no matter what my head says
Then my heart refuses to listen...

I miss your smile
I miss all the stupid things we used to do
I miss the time when I didn't cry
I miss just being with you....

I miss you being my weakness
I miss smiling like I used to
I miss when my worst sides
Comes out because of you...

My head tells me to move on
It tells me you aren't wroth it
But my heart disagrees
And it still won't listen...

I miss wondering about
How you even feel
I miss wanting to touch
I miss feeling surreal...

I miss the mess I became
When you used to be near
I miss the days out hate
When everything was unclear...

I miss not having to fool myself
Each and every day
Telling myself that my feelings
Was never even real...

I miss not having to force myself
To believe
That it's the other guy
Who I love
I hate the fact that I trick myself
To believe
That the one I miss
It isn't you...

I miss all the small things
I miss when your words sounded true
There's only this one thing I miss
And that is
You...
Just having one of those days where I'm being honest for once....
 Apr 2016 Urmila
the dead bird
the shadows of others
which maliciously
dance
upon the walls
point and laugh
at my human body
that sits in my room
watching

they use their
shadows
fragments of their
true self
to shame and degrade
this person
my self
because I do not hide
my flaws
in darkness

the teasing
shades of human
criticize and belittle
myself and
the other few
who openly exist
as exactly
who we are

these shadows
fueled by
fear
spite
negativity
make every observation
of exposed flaws
I can only imagine
that the humans
who are casting these
shadows of hate
to be
biting their nails
and looking away
as their
shadow
becomes them

while I was
openly
exposing my true form
I began to hate
that of who I am
taking the shadows critique
to heart
when they are too weak
to expose
who they truly are

their shadows
came for me-
as did
shadows
of my own

instead of
hiding myself
becoming
the same as them
using my
insecurities
as fuel for hatred
to burden
upon others
when
the darkness began
to encroach upon me
it fueled
to make me hate myself
instead of others

now,
I have begun
to understand

my own shadow
will no longer
swallow me in darkness
as it is just
my own
embodiment of hatred
a version of myself
that isn't real at all

and the
shadows
from others
who spit fire
to try and burn
my flesh
will fail
as I now know
that if they exposed
their true self
as I have done
everybody
would be able
to see
that the faults
they accuse of
only exist
within them

and I
am just simply
me
I'm so sorry I haven't written in awhile I know none of you care but I finally got a job again and have been so overwhelmed I simply forgot to write. this piece is about others who critique and shame people for traits that they openly accept about theirself.
 Apr 2016 Urmila
Matt
Please Stop
 Apr 2016 Urmila
Matt
Stop asking
If it was a "nice day"

A day doesn't have
That quality

It's a day

Don't talk to me

Watch the news
Play on your dumb iphone

Figured out how
To use it yet?


Take your pills
Watch your news channel

You are my friend

But ****
You are annoying
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