all the boys i’ve ever loved
i thought each one would be the one
an endless cycle i can’t stop
like they can’t stop breaking my heart

and all the boys i’ve ever loved
it’s always the same story line
we either burn out, or break down
do you care to roll the dice?

and i stop and think of what we could be
if we’d open our eyes, look past the light
because it won’t be safe forever, why not dive right in?

but i will keep your head above water
even if i suffer, even if i suffocate
and i will fight until i can’t any longer
just so you’ll never have to
s
  i
    n
      k

all the boys i’ve ever loved
wish i could say i’ve had enough
but every time they break my heart
i just keep running back for more
and i stop and think of what we could be
if we’d open our eyes, look past the light
because it won’t be safe forever, why not dive right in?
and i stop and think of what we could be
if we both had any courage to breathe
but we’re pulled under, intoxicating, we sink

but i will keep your head above water
even if i suffer, even if i suffocate
and i will fight until i can’t any longer
just so you’ll never have to
s
  i
    n
      k

oh no, i almost jumped; almost got stuck
in your love
but it’s no surprise... it’s what i do every time

i gotta stop loving; see, love is
what you gotta let go of
to not be messed up

but it’s intoxicatingly sweet- loving
it’s like a drug to me- loving

so i’m going to take a dive
off the deep end, the deep end
so i can drown my senses, my senses
yeah

you tore me apart, like the storm
i should’ve known you were
but i can’t stop coming back for more

it’s intoxicatingly sweet- loving
it’s like a drug to me- loving

so i’m going to take a dive
off the deep end, the deep end
so i can drown my senses, my senses
yeah

hey stranger,
used to read your mind just like a book
and i am only as in love with you
as you can spare a look
hey disaster,
won't you go ahead and bring me down
because i have no use for feeling empty
guess i'll be seeing you around

what a beautiful, beautiful heartache
from such a radical, terrible mistake

but it's mine to keep and mine to love
because no one else can fill me up
i am so weak and vulnerable
but you only love me when i am strong
so i'll try to be strong.

hey lonely,
go ahead and rip my heart in two
you can take your toll on me
as long as i don't keep any of you
hey lovely,
i knew that you were a storm
but i continued to walk into you
like i hadn't been warned

what a beautiful, beautiful heartache
from such a radical, terrible mistake

but it's mine to keep and mine to love
because no one else can fill me up
i am so weak and vulnerable
but you only love me when i am strong
so i'll try to be strong.

give me strength, give me hope
tell me you'll never
let me go
feel my heart bleeding
when you go

make me feel so incomplete
teach me
dependability
show me i need you
in everything

why do i see you
in everything

and do we think of each other, only
when it's cold and dark
i need to know if you'll love me
when it gets warmer
in the summer, in the light
or
maybe it's just when you're high.

i stare more than i talk when you're around
and hope that you don't notice
it's not my fault you leave me speechless- i'm just bad with words
it's artless adolescence

when you're gone i miss you bad and i can't cope
i'm stuck here while i wait for you

tell me it's all going to be okay
it's fine to feel this way
tell me you feel it too
and when you're away- too far away
tell me that you miss me too

you've given me the proof i need, but my brain's still a wreck
a roller coaster of cynicism
but there's hope yet, you seem to like it when i'm all choked up
that's failure at it's finest

when you're silent i miss you bad and i can't cope
i'm stuck here while i wait for you

tell me it's all going to be okay
it's fine to feel this way
tell me you feel it too
and when you're away- too far away
tell me that you miss me too

i wish i missed the weekends
but now i'm torn up a day without you here,
staring at the white walls you splattered with green
i wish i missed innocence
being able to fall asleep at night,
but i'm wide awake and i don't hate it.

noise getting louder
temperature's rising
room's getting crowded
but i'm still up pacing

why don't you tell me i'm overthinking
why don't you tell me i should start dreaming

i know i'm just being overdramatic again
what was i thinking? i should be content
with just pretending that i'm happy

breath getting heavy
i know what you're thinking
and you say you're sorry
but you don't mean it

why don't you tell me i'm overthinking
why don't you tell me i should start dreaming

i know i'm just being overdramatic again
what was i thinking? i should be content
with just pretending
that
       i'm
             happy

late at night, i lie awake
thinking of things i should have said
all the mistakes i've made
and signs i should've read

then think about what i can't live without
you, front and center in my mind
sometimes it feels like halfway love
almost, but not quite

still, parts of you make me whole
who i am and who i need to be
i think of love letters that weren't torn up
feelings of blue and green

when i'm without you
blank page, artless innocence
i realize how dependent i've grown to you
and feel the need to create a distance

sometimes i look up at the purple sky
and wonder if you're looking too
i gaze at the colors and the beauty of it all
though its beauty would never compare to you