4/10/2019

To the one overcome by other people’s struggles…

Are you some sort of therapist,
That so many lean on you?
They line up as if for an interview.
All this weight on your shoulders – unnoticed?

You don’t mind helping others.
But how are you supposed to grow on your own,
If all you ever do is groan on your own?
You’re still alive, but this weight – it smothers.

They say you gotta find a lightning rod,
To relate all your problems to.
Hey, that’s what you thought once, too.
But your immunity to pain – a facade.

The burdens of other become your own.
Issue after issue you assimilate,
And their privacy, never violate.
You know what you’re doing – it’s by design.

Your back has become numb to the weight,
You are growing stronger…
Now people will love you longer.
You exist to take on their pain – but wait.

This sounds all too familiar.
You’ve heard this story before.
This connection, you can’t ignore.
The man who’s already done this – no failure.

Jesus, the man who took on sin,
So much sin that He died.
He paid the penalty, but never cried.
But through death did he – win.

Could you compare yourself to Jesus?
Could you bear as much weight as he?
No, you don’t even have to ask an actuary.
He’s the only one who – frees us!

So what are you doing with all this,
It’s not your burden to bear,
To you it has become your snare.
But all this on your shoulders – dismiss?

It’s not that easy to drop.
It’s been there so long,
It’s part of you now, making you “strong.”
Someone else needs to make change – swap.

But if Jesus really took the world’s sin,
Then you can’t stand in His way.
You’ve gotta let Him win, give in to His sway.
But He also died for you – took your toxin.

“Jesus, please forgive me!
I’ve been playing God.
And all that reaped was fraud.
I am but a nobody…

“A nobody whom you choose to love.
Show your love once more!
I’m begging for that encore!”
Freedom – all you’re dreaming of.

All He asks you for is for you to ask,
And out pours His forgiveness.
He doesn’t respond with vindictiveness.
And He’s already done – an easy task.

Just like that, weight falls off,
It feels so wrong, the price still paid,
Jesus took your entire burden, an unfair trade.
With His life – down the drop-off.

Hell was reserved for your ilks,
You had your name reserved on a seat,
Jesus paid that ticket, gave no receipt.
Let go of regret – which only bilks.

From now on, you’re no therapist,
Now, fewer should lean solely on you,
No more line-ups for that interview,
The weight on your shoulders – also noticed!

You can share your own problems,
Tell others how you’re doing.
Your attitude, start renewing.
It takes time for healing – but it comes!

Don’t slip into self-sufficiency,
On God, you must be reliant,
He’s the therapist, you’re the client.
The trait of dependence – no longer a deficiency.

With your life, lead others to Him,
He is the One who’s strong,
In Him, we all belong,
Jesus – Love is a synonym.

4/7/2019

When to my face you confront,
Slow I am to speak.
My thoughts are not apparent,
My ideas you cannot seek.

But when through technology,
My stupidity sometime shows.
Repulsive terminology,
Erupts, I suppose.

Today I am puking nonsense,
Why don’t I shut my mouth?
All previous confidence,
Has decided to head south.

Where has my solid filter gone?
I’m not usually this way.
I feel no one could be drawn,
How long will this stay?

None of my poems have humor,
Why must I write with purpose?
This is such a ******,
Will I ever lose my serious?

4/5/2019

In the middle of my transgression,
That trap I’ve fallen in before,
I cry out with desperation,
And I find an open door.
Could it have been there the whole time?

When there seems to be no progression,
It seems I can’t bear it any longer.
Where is the inert deliberation?
Somehow I must ignore the anger,
But how can I find good in the grime?

All I can see: my inward aggression!
That fuse always burning shorter,
Only accomplishing obliteration.
As I make myself a martyr,
I am sacrificed for an unknown crime.

Though my face gains new expression,
New is just another word for darker.
Inward digs the outward oppression,
It must die, but never can I conquer.
Death bells don’t seem to chime.

My focus is always my impression,
I exist to make me look better.
If it were up to my discretion,
All would fall into disorder.
Does it ever end, this eternal climb?

My story now in compression,
I couldn’t resist anymore.
My biggest fears now in suppression,
The door is the way out. Therefore,
Step though, I must. It’s showtime.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is the end of all my repression!
All of me spilled on the floor!
There is no regression!
All of me, anyone can explore!
This exposed feeling is not sublime!

That open door, a misimpression?
Expectation missed, take it away, I implore!
My perspective, it doesn’t freshen,
My new life, why for it do I deplore?
Still I desire to go backwards everytime.

Is Your will bent for my depression?
Is Your love just folklore?
No! Doubt is sadly my profession,
Thank You for all that You restore,
You forgive my idiotic paradigm.

Maybe this was all to get my attention.
Though my soul feels sore,
I know I’m in a better position.
You’ve won, forget the score,
Although over time I worked overtime.

Results result from action,
What’s this all for?
Near extinction, is my confession,
But I’m no longer like that dinosaur.
I’m running out of words to rhyme.

In the end, I made the right decision,
It’s all so much more,
I’m thankful for my Implosion,
There’s less of me than before,
With you in side as my enzyme.

4/4/2019

When I question,
Where do I go?
Who can give a suggestion,
What is there to show?
I am overtaken by exhaustion,
My head bowed low.
Greed no longer my intention,
I am ready to know.

I am fed up with always taking,
It is time for me to give.
I’m done with all this faking,
I must truly forgive.
Help me start the rebuilding,
It’s time I truly live.
It’s not just me who’s crying,
Others are more secretive.

I cannot take others’ problems,
I could never care enough.
It’s easier for he who condemns,
To empathize is truly tough.
Uncomfortable the situation becomes,
When stories are devoid of fluff.
Flirting with the doldrums,
Is not my favorite stuff.

God, if I am to have aid,
Then let it be only you.
I know you have already paid,
Even if sin appears to continue.
I need you to pursuade,
Only you can change a view.
You’ve already made the trade,
Now there’s nothing for me to skew.

I’ve made the decision,
To step down from my pride.
Now guide my vision,
Show me who is outside.
I am only an illusion,
You are all that is inside.
Without you, all is confusion,
All is clear, with you beside.

God, how can you see beauty,
In the vilest thing and enemy?
I fear for my own security,
But it’s not only about me.
To accociate would make me *****,
I can’t stand all their blasphemy.
Oh, my rotten mentality,
Erase my faulty dichotomy.

If I am to reach the world,
With your gospel message,
Let your plan be unfurled,
Show me partners on this voyage.
It’s not just me who’s called,
And the others are not in shortage.
I am no longer troubled,
God is our advantage!

His army is not just of one,
He is Lord of thousands,
If you stand still and listen,
Your heart heavily pounds.
His power matched by none,
His enemies He dumbfounds.
The victory He already won,
All by His commands.

4/2/2019

To no one do I owe.
With no one do I unite.
If I begin to feel unfit,
To my image I hold.

Somehow I feel it must go.
But I'm gripping so tight,
My fists closed shut.
What do I hold?

I need to know,
Is this alright?
Please tell me what,
But what do I hold?

I fear that tomorrow
Won't be better than tonight,
Is it even possible to let,
Let go of what I hold?

It's not helping my sorrow,
It's not helping my sight.
I feel so inadequate,
Is it useless, what I hold?

It could be so,
That with which all my might-
Not another minute!
Tell me, is it nothing that I hold?

Don't tell me to throw,
All in which I delight.
It's my life, my habit,
All that I hold!

Please, I can't say no,
And return to the light!
It's wrenching my gut,
Still, I must hold!

If this is all to blow,
Away into the night,
Must I forget,
All that I now hold?

God, if you say so,
You know my petty plight,
You see that I am delicate,
Take what I hold!

God, I fear what will follow,
But you overtake my fright,
Please don't quit,
Go! You say to what I hold.

God, you are not slow,
You destroy all that is not right.
God, I can't bear it,
Now, what do I hold?!?

God, I need to grow,
Don't leave me falling in midflight!
I am still so desperate,
Without anything to hold.

Yes, my own ladder was worth zero,
And it's reach to heaven finite.
But now that it's been cut,
There's nothing else to hold.

God, make me your shadow,
I will be your satellite.
The entire time, I must admit,
It was you I needed to hold.

I am no longer hollow,
My future is bright.
With you as my magnet,
And when to you I hold.

And when you I borrow,
You take the spotlight.
I struggle, but humbly take the exit,
Oh, what now do I hold!