What exactly is happiness? Is it the hollowness in the chest when you've stopped crying and you feel like there's nothing left to do? Is it that feeling of wanting the world to stop so you can enjoy just a few more seconds of silence?
Is it being with friends and laughing until your gut hurts but then crying when you go home? Is it addictive like a drug?
Is the withdrawal from happiness the symptoms of depression?
does that mean we need happiness like we need oxygen?
Are we okay?
If the past can overshadow the present then what's the point of reminding ourselves about it?
There will always be bad things, we can't change that.
No. We could change that.
We just don't want to. Happy is fleeting and never stays. that's why we want it. We would hate happy if we had it forever.
But we chase it in circles, like greyhounds on a track, coming across it only to realize that it was fake all along and the real happiness
the real glow and joy
was that small second before the race, when you felt like you were finally going to reach it
And now?
Now you don't have it. Because you believed it would fix your problem.
Well. To the ones who believed they have found happiness I must ask you
Did it?

Is 'lost' a word that people take lightly?
Is it something that I shouldn't brush off so slightly?
Is it possibly an insult when I say it myself
'That I honestly don't know, or have anyone else'?

Would it be fine
If I were to just lay down and close my eyes?
Listening to the waves as they crash upon shores
Instead of listening to my family's snores?

I'm ready to run, but there's no where to go
I'm ready to fight, but the enemy's unknown
I'm ready to love, but I'm afraid I've forgotten how
But best or worst of all, I'm ready to go down

I'm lost in this world and in my own head
I'm lost inside and out, full of fear that my spirit's dead
But oddly enough, over these few years
I've started to see light in my eyes, a light that's not from tears.